So, erm, hi. For those that have me on author alert, no this isn't Breaking Beauty. Sorry 'bout that. I DID work on the next chapter today but I kept getting stuck and finally said 'This isn't working' and began going through reviews of my other fanfics. And the last one I went through was Forever. If you've read that, you can consider this as almost a continuation. It isn't what happens after Bella died in THAT story, but if she had died when cliff diving. In all honesty, if I HAD continued Forever, this pretty much would've been the ending anyway.
Some of you might want to have tissues ready. I sent it out to a couple people first and none of them cried, but maybe have them if you're very sensitive.
Don't own any of the characters or anything. I also don't own Trading Yesterday, who sings the song this story is named after. Go listen with this song. =]
The Beauty and the Tragedy Gone.
Not just anyone was gone, either. She was gone. His life, his love, his world. Gone. In the blink of an eye, his world ended.
He had left her, left her alone and defenseless. Left her in the hands of a police chief. Left her in the hands of a mongrel. Left her in the hands of utter depression. If he had thought she felt a fraction of what he felt for her, he never would've left. The pain, the torture, he went through every single day was unbearable. Maddening. To let an angel like her feel any form of that pain was absurd.
So why did you?
He felt like his heart had been ripped out, stomped upon, handed back, then ripped away again to be stomped on more by elephants. Breathing was a chore, a near impossible chore. His love, his beautiful Bella, gone from the earth forever. And he was supposed to accept that and move on? She killed herself, and it might have been because of him.
Could she have possibly felt as strongly for him as he did for her? Impossible. Human feelings were nothing compared to a vampires. But could she have felt something almost as strong? Or the same feeling, just less intense but still strong? That was certainly possible.
He stared at the phone in his hands in disbelief, closed yet still telling him that she was dead.
What do I do now?
There was no point trying to find Victoria. No point in anything. What the hell could he do?
He tensed, realizing there was something he could do and threw the phone in the trash can before speeding off towards the nearest airport.
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"Aro, you must understand. You have a love of your own. You love her with everything you have. Can you imagine what it would be like to have her taken away from you?"
The older man bat away his words. "She was a mere human, Edward. There are probably millions out there that could easily fill your void."
"She wasn't just a 'mere human'. She was my life. The end of her life is the end of mine. She was my singer, on top of that. How many millions of girls are one of my singers? I wasn't even aware we could have more than one! Will I be able to read their minds?"
"Dear boy, you were changed as a teenager. Your feelings are that of a teenager. Be as Romeo was, find another maiden to distract yourself with.
"But what if my 'mere human' is my Juliet still? She died, probably in grief, and I shall now die for her."
"Then either she isn't truly dead or you are Juliet." The man chuckled.
"This is no game, Aro. Can't you at least consider it?" Edward pleaded.
The other man pursed his lips. "Fine. I'll call a meeting and we'll discuss it then."
Edward grinned, his first sign of happiness in months. "Thank you Aro. Thank you so much."
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"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen." A voice boomed. Edward winced slightly at the sound of 'Cullen', then stepped inside the room.
The room was cavernous, with several chairs set up behind a horse shoe shaped table that took up the front of the room. In the center chair, Aro sat with Marcus and Caius on either side of him. A few other nameless faces sat around the table, but Edward took little notice.
"Mr. Cullen – "
"Mr. Masen, if you could." Edward piped up, wincing again.
"Mr. Masen, you came to us today and asked if we would kill you. Your reason being that you lost the love of your life and could not live without her, correct?" Aro questioned loudly.
"That is correct." His meek answer seemed to echo like a roar in the room.
"Your love is – was – a human, correct?"
"Yes." His voice became quieter.
"We, the members of the Volturi, have decided to deny your request. You are too powerful for us to kill easily, a person we could easily use. Not to mention, a mere human is truly easily replaced. And I like Carlisle too much to kill his son." Aro's voice was even and cool, sparing Edward nothing.
"I shall also have to decline your request, Aro." He forced through gritted teeth. "And if you will not kill me willingly, then I will do what I must to make you kill me."
"Edward, please, be reasonable. We would've had to kill her, and your whole family, if she had lived anyway. You all know better than to tell somebody what you are."
"I might've changed her, someday. She just needed to be human for a little longer first."
Aro waved a hand. "Excuses, excuses. There is none here, Edward. What time will you be pulling your little stunt then?"
"I don't…I don't know." He bit his lip then, reminded of Bella, stopped.
"Go for a hunt, boy. Then come back and tell us again what you want to do."
Edward nodded stiffly and ran.
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"Back so soon, Edward?" Aro lounged in his chair and seemed highly amused as Edward entered, his hair messier than usual and his eyes still black
"Yes, I didn't need to think about much."
"So, have you still decided not to join us?" He looked hopeful, his eyes wide.
"I stick to my earlier decisions, Aro." He replied coldly.
"All of them?"
"Yes, every single one of them. Tomorrow at noon I'll be in the plaza. By the clock tower, if you want to set up your men beforehand."
"Thanks for being oh so considerate." Aro commented drily. "It's a shame we'll lose such a valuable vampire for our guard. You could have done great things with us, dear Edward. Such a shame we'll have to kill you. You're a fast runner, I believe? I'll have to make sure Demetri and Felix are there as well then."
"I won't fight or run." Edward vowed.
"So you say." The older vampire grinned. "The chase is only half the fun, anyway. Vampires always know that, no matter what they use to survive."
Edward's lips fell into a thin line. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
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The plaza was full with ecstatic people. People happy to celebrate. To be in the sun. To love.
Fucking humans.
He stood in the shadows of the Palazzo dei Priori, Felix and Demetri not far off. He had two minutes until he died. Two minutes until he joined his love.
He looked up towards the clear sky, the bright sun. The whole day just screamed perfection. Screamed Bella.
I know I'm a vampire, but if there's a God out there and he's really listening…just hear me out?
I love Bella. I need her. You have her and I want her back. I know that I can't undo what has been done, but I can join her, can't I?
I just…have to ask that if I'm even allowed to wherever she is, probably heaven or whatever it really is, let me see her? All of this, is for her. Because I need to be with her. If I can just see her and know she's happy now, this will all have been worth it. Please?
I also can only hope you look after my family. I know that what I'm doing will tear them a part, especially Esme, but I can't live otherwise. They'd only have half of me and that's not good enough for them. Make sure they understand why I'm doing this, why I'm leaving. I don't want to hurt them, and I'm sorry I didn't think to leave a note or call, but it's too late now. If you are truly as forgiving as Carlisle always said you are, I beg you to make sure they understand that.
Help me get through to the other side, wherever and whatever it may be.
"Amen." He murmured and stepped into the sunlight.
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So this is the other side.
It was very…white. And empty. And bright. And damn it was white.
He closed his eyes, trying to block out the pure brightness and just plain white in the room.
"Edward?"
I know that voice…
He blinked open his eyes slowly, letting himself adjust a bit.
"It is a bit bright in here, but I suppose it is a waiting room of sorts. They aren't really supposed to be decorated much." She looked apologetic.
"Bella." He breathed, barely listening to a word she said.
The girl before him flushed and giggled slightly, biting her lip in a futile attempt to hold them back. "Well, yeah. Did you think God would come welcome you or something? He's got more important things to do."
He chuckled. "I suppose that's true."
She smiled. "Now that you're all here and we've established who we are, I have a question for you." Her smile dropped into a glower. "What were you thinking? Killing yourself like that! Do you know how devastated Alice is? She was so busy planning my funeral she didn't have time to watch for you, you moron! Esme's inconsolable, hasn't left her room since you died! And Carlisle? Carlisle killed a human last night. Are you happy you fool?"
"I – I…I was thinking of you." He mumbled honestly.
"Edward, I can't believe you would pull something like that. Jasper's left the house. Emmet nearly demolished the house. Rose refuses to speak to anyone except to say she didn't think you'd kill yourself. I'm so disappointed in you."
"You're disappointed in me? You killed yourself first!"
"I didn't kill myself. It was an accident. I had been hanging out with Jacob Black and some other pack members in La Push and they went cliff diving for fun. I was supposed to go with Jake but he couldn't come, so I went alone. Me, being a stupid human, went by myself while a storm was rolling through. Between my clumsy self hitting dozens of rocks, the freezing water, and being thrown around like a ball, I died of blood loss. An accident. Jake found me a few moments too late." She corrected, tears welling in her eyes. "You died intentionally. Maybe you didn't do it yourself, but you planned it. You asked them for it. Carlisle's actually thinking of gathering old friends and trying to rebel against them. And at this point, Aro would let them as long as he stayed with his wife."
"I…Rose said…she said you killed yourself by jumping off a cliff. Alice had a vision about it and everything."
"Yeah, she was correct. But I wasn't trying to kill myself like you were. You always used to say how selfish you were and I'm starting to see why."
Her simple statement, something her knew to be true, hit him as if she'd slapped him across the face.
"Bella, what was I supposed to do? I love you with everything I have. I couldn't live and function knowing you were dead. My family would only have half of me and they don't deserve that. They deserve all of me and I can't give them that. It would hurt them more to see the little that was left of me."
"You love me?" She chuckled darkly. "Sure as hell isn't the impression you left me with."
"I lied, okay? I fucking lied to you. Does that make you happy? I told you complete bull because I thought you'd get over me. That you would be safer without me. I was wrong and
I know that. I regret it so much. I can only hope – "His breath caught in his throat. "I can only hope you forgive me."
She said nothing for a moment. "I just don't understand." She whispered.
"I love you, and you have to know that. I just couldn't let you get hurt because of me. What matters now is that we are together and I still love you and I will do anything for your forgiveness."
She sighed. "I still love you, too Edward." He grinned. "I don't know if I can trust you just yet, but I do love you."
"I can deal with that." He nodded. "Where am I, anyway?"
"The waiting room. You've been here for a week or so. You were waiting in her to be patched up and sewn together." She smirked.
He examined himself briefly, finding himself whole and intact.
"Why am I wearing new clothes though?" He gestured to his new white shirt, pants, and shoes.
"Standard uniform. Guys wear all white shirts, pants and shoes, and girls all wear white dresses." She pulled out the side of her skirt. "At least, here we do. I've heard eventually you move on from here and get to wear colors again."
He nodded and looked at her. "How long were you in here?"
"Me? Not long. Maybe a few hours until I woke up." She shrugged.
"I would've thought being hit against rocks and cliffs, you'd need time to heal."
She shook her head. "You aren't really seeing me, Edward. I need you to really look at me."
His eyebrows furrowed, but he did. He blinked a few times as he stared at her and slowly, he saw what she meant. Her body was covered in scratches, and places that weren't scratched were black. Dried blood matted her hair and a couple patches of skin were completely gone, showing the muscle and bone beneath. He winced slightly at her appearance.
"Still love me, darling?" She muttered sarcastically.
"Of course I do. Nothing will change that. It's just a bit of a shock. But why didn't you get fixed up?"
She shrugged. "Hell if I know. I probably will be once we move past here."
"Why didn't I see you the way you are then?"
"You saw me the way you know me. Nothing odd. All of my family members either saw what you did or saw me as a child." She laughed.
"I suppose that makes sense." He decided.
"Well, Edward, we have places to go and people to see. Your parents have been waiting ages to see you. Did you know you had a baby sister? She's absolutely adorable, and you'll love her. She has your hair. And my grandparents want to meet the man that stole my heart." She rambled, grabbing his hand and pulling him forward.
Edward stared at her in awe and paused his movements.
"Come on silly, let's go!" She said, looking confused yet cheerful at his sudden stop.
He grabbed her face and kissed her hard and passionately like he never had before. He could be like this with her now, he wouldn't hurt her anymore.
The kiss slowed and became tender and sweet as they began pulling away. "I love you, so much, Isabella Marie Swan." He whispered on her lips.
"I love you too, Edward Anthony Masen. Forever."
He nodded slightly, brushing his lips against hers with each movement. "Forever."
And that's all she wrote folks!
I'll try to have the next BB chapter up tomorrow, but I make no promises.
For now, REVIEW!