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Hokage was definitely drunk when she wrote this. I respect Hokage and adore her skills, but what she made here I consider a fatal mistake. And I say so only because I'm too decent to swear. Here, I have a scroll before my eyes. It prescribes to certain amount of individually selected shinobi to be interchangeable, what means all of them are divided into pairs and have to know well and perform in emergency the duties of each other. The idea is not that bad; I even admit it can be rather useful. A problem is – the line-up went strange and is indeed a very queer line-up.
For example – Ibiki and Izumo. When Izumo heard about it he was totally hysteric and yelled he will run away and become a rough nin. We told him not to be stupid, because we are going to catch him quickly and present him to Ibiki properly wrapped in ribbons and with a card 'fresh rough nin for you'.
Or this one – Genma and Anko. I'm sure they fit together perfectly, but they won't learn anything from each other, they will drink and laugh and diligently forget about all possible duties.
The option of Guy and Kurenai made Guy show up and cry aloud, because he doesn't dare to let Kurenai do all the exercises and participate in all challenges he usually takes.
And so on. The only lucky person is Ebisu, who got Hayate. Why, I'd be definitely very happy to get Hayate. Though I'm not sure if Hayate is happy with the choice!
At first I only wondered if I'm in the list too. Oh yes, I am! The only chuunin in this affair. When I saw the name of the person I'm pared with I started to laugh hysterically. That's unbelievable! How can we be compared in skills and possibilities to begin with? No way I can suit him until I catch any rare Uchiha and convince them to give me one of their eyes. You get it? Yes, I'm pared with Hatake Kakashi.
He is a very strange guy. I never knew how to talk to him. Okay, I only communicate with him when he brings his awful mission reports. But even then I do not speak to him. I yell and he stares. After I got the scroll with the interchangeability-task, I went to find him to speak to him properly and found him at the training field. He shrugged at my first ten questions and said 'Maa…' to another ten. At last I gave up and asked him if we can just be normal men and act as if nothing is there and we should only do whatever we like. I meant that I want to forget about the silly scroll at all, but I guess he didn't understand me. He asked if we should start acting right then and there. I answered that yes, why not, we should for sure. The next moment I felt his lips on my lips, and he was kissing me firmly. What? Of course I reacted. I kissed him back, at first automatically, then for pleasure. It was definitely enjoyable until he turned away, put his mask on, told me he never thought I'm 'so-easy-to-get' and made few steps to leave. I think I was too excited back then, because I jumped and kicked his ass with all the strength I possessed. I don't understand if he let me do it or didn't expect something like this from me, but we ended in a heap on the ground, beating each other madly. When I was on top and just hit his jaw with unusual relish, he stopped moving, his muscles relaxed under my body, his single visible eye closed. I called him – there was no response, I checked his pulse, but found none. I swear – he was as if he was dead. Now what? An academy teacher killed a copy-nin? No way! He must be toying with me! I jumped at my feet, kicked the senseless body and cried that can't fool me around. There was no answer. Then a thought came to my agitated and limp mind – why, when he is dead, I can take a look at his face, surely I didn't notice anything while we kissed. Wait, I kissed and killed Kakashi, didn't I? It sounds very funny indeed! Sitting down on my heels, I slightly touched the contour of his mouth through the mask with my fingertips.
What I really didn't expect is that he'll bite me. But this bastard did, although did it quiet tender. I put my palm away immediately. Kakashi opened his eye and stared at me silently. I recovered from shock and told him I'll give him a slap. I'd better do it, not orate, but yes – the more we live the more we learn. The next moment my back went to the ground while he straddled my hips. The moment after the next he was kissing me again and asking why I actually am 'so-easy-to-get'. I wanted to beat him and even made some efforts before he stopped kissing and told me it was silly to fight an ally. I shrugged – why, for sure he was right. Besides – I had a perfect view of his rather attractive face now, what made me very tractable. After a couple of nice and deep further kisses I murmured to him to get the hell off me and let me show him why I came to him at all. He answered he'll do it gladly, but continued to torture my lips. Swearing one more time, – that day it was my limit of swearing for the month-length already – I thought if he won't stop it, I'll rape him right there on the training field. As I understand he was the last one to object an action. Originally, it wasn't my plan at all, so I decided to get out of there any possible way. Pretending I want to be on top, I changed our position cuffing his hands above his head and tied them with a chakra rope at the same time.
Panting, I stood above him on my fours and blocked his legs with my feet. He watched me, smiling. That was rather cute. But he spoiled it asking me if I like it rough. I went mad again and this time slapped his face with a great pleasure, what oddly enough made him convinced in his earlier doubts. Oh, you should see his look, this damn pervert! I remember I was told that there is no way the one can make Kakashi ashamed, unstable or less perverted. Whatever! I have a business here! I took the scroll with the interchangeability-task from my pocket, unrolled it and showed it to him without a word, waiting for him to read it, then put the scroll back.
Kakashi stared at me with bored expression. I stared back saying nothing. When I started to get annoyed with all this staring I put Kakashi's mask back on his face and helped him to his feet without making him free of my chakra ropes. I asked if he had any suggestions. He suggested his place. Staying calm, I specified I meant suggestions concerning our interchangeability. He said he's not against trying all possible variations, including this 'interchangeability' if I want it so much, I only have to explain to him the basic moves. At the end of this speech I wanted to kill him so intense, that I locked my hands behind my back to avoid the temptation.
The last drop was when Kakashi winked at me, freeing himself of chakra ropes with unbelievable easiness. I went mad and hissed to him that I don't want him at all. He blinked, glanced at my pants narrowly and then smiled in my face, murmuring that he sees it. Well, let's say – I slapped him one more time, turned around and went away, having only one thing to care about – to move properly in spite of a quite big discomfort in my pants and only one thought stuck in my brain – to complain to Hokage and ask for another interchangeability-partner.