Disclaimers: I don't own the song "Is It Ok If I Call You Mine" and I also don't own Zoids (though maybe I own Thomas and Irvine… In my dreams!)
Is it ok if I call you mine?
Thomas x Fiona fic
He felt as though the Dibison went berserk and ran over him. But he remembered what had just happened and almost hit his head with a hammer, suddenly feeling stupid and thoughtless.
Lt. Thomas Schubaltz was having a hangover… a very painful hangover.
And he wasn't drunk to begin with. He was feeling woozy but he still knew what was going on around him. When had it all started again? … Oh yes… the party…
The gang had a party, celebrating Van's birthday. Irvine insisted that they get some liquor for a change… and he couldn't help but wonder why he ever agreed to such a preposterous suggestion. Then, after taking a few more wobbly steps to his destination, and shaking his head a little, he remembered the reason why.
Is ok if I call you mine
Just for a time?
And I will be just fine
She was so beautiful that evening… she was so happy… she was so full of life… she was with him. Everyone can see the aura that radiated from the two of them. They were in … l…
Fiona walked down the quiet halls. Everyone was still having fun in the party and the excitement went higher when the arm wrestling match began. It was such a wonderful evening. It was Van's birthday and he looked like he was having fun. Moonbay and Irvine argued as usual, but anyone could tell that that's their way of finding amusement…and everyone saw that Thomas was…
Where was Thomas?
Fiona noticed him mellow down a bit after they took pictures. Maybe it was the liquor. She never really saw him drink before. She and Van only took a sip but Thomas almost drank as much as Irvine did. He stayed near the bar for a while and when she looked again, he was gone.
If I know, that you know
That I'm wanting, needing your love
...ove… his thoughts were cut short when his body decided to let out his frustrations in the sink. He was thankful he didn't eat that much that day. He glanced at his image shortly, and saw a vision of a torn and broken man. He must look so pathetic at that moment. Why… why? It's not fair… she can never… ever… notice a pathetic, useless, and weak guy like him… Such a pathetic man… He couldn't even have the guts to tell her how he feels. And even if he did tell her, would it change a thing?
Fiona heard some noises from the bathroom, and saw Thomas throwing up in the sink. She ran to him and tried to give him some comfort by rubbing his back gently. He must've drank too much.
"Thomas…"
And if I ask of you, is it all right
If I ask you to hold me tight
Through a cold dark night
He closed his eyes tightly and opened them again to see Fiona still there. Was he that drunk? He took the towel she offered him and washed his face with water. He suddenly felt his knees buckle up and found himself halfway kneeling and halfway sitting on the floor.
He looked sick. Fiona was torn between getting help and staying with him. She just noticed now how his skin became paler than usual.
"…Miss Fiona…?" he asked shakily, and she noticed his trembling shoulders.
"It's me Thomas, are you feeling better?"
It's really her… great… just what he needed.
"Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want water or something?" She asked worriedly, as she stroked his hair away from his face. She noticed how cold he was and how vulnerable his green eyes looked.
"Maybe if you loved me, I'll feel much better…" he wanted to say. But instead, he felt himself semiconsciously leaning on her and she was just in time to catch him in her arms.
She didn't know how it happened, but she suddenly felt the emptiness in his heart. Maybe it was due to his slow breathing, or his steady heartbeat. Or maybe it was…
He held her tight. It was like he had to get some strength from her to stay alive. He was such a big pathetic fool. Why… why can't he just get over it…
"I'm… s...sorry Miss Fiona…" he wanted to break the embrace and save all the dignity he had left but he was surprised when he felt Fiona's own arms envelop him.
Cause there maybe a cloudy day in sight
And I need to let you knowThat I might be needing you love
He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him. He wanted to let her know that the simplest things she do makes him feel like he can change the world. He wanted her to know that he loved her… but he can't. He simply can't. Not when he knew perfectly that she loved another… and they were happy.
He had to get over her. She won't be there to push the nightmares away. She won't be there to heal the wounds in his heart. She can never love him the way he wants her to…
She's no more than a distant dream
But now that he's holding her tight, it felt so real. She was his.
And what I'm trying to say isn't really new...
It's just the things that happen to me
when I'm reminded of you
She's often with him, but she's always far from reach. It was his tragic destiny to watch her from afar. Never to be the shoulder she'd lean on to. Never to be the hand who dries her tears. Never to be the man she loves… never to be Van.
But he couldn't stop thinking, dreaming, hoping about her.
Fiona closed her eyes and tried to make most out of the moment. Thomas needed her. She knew he just couldn't say it but somehow she knew. Maybe he had a problem, or maybe his loneliness and fatigue was catching up with him. Thomas was one of her closest friends, and she didn't want anything bad to happen to him. He was important to her.
It sets off something in me I can't explain
And I can't wait to see you again
I love your love
"…I'm sorry about that Fiona… I…" he finally got the strength to pull away from her. It was painful, but he knew that dreams have to end.
"It's nothing Thomas. Don't worry about it," she said it so sweetly but his heart screaming, asking, how it can be nothing when that moment was everything to him.
She helped him get back to his feet. She got one of his arms and placed it across her shoulders. They walked in the hallways in silence. She didn't know if it were true or if she imagined it, but she saw a tear slide down his face.
He guessed that he had to live with the small things in life. Who cares if she can never be his? She was right there beside him, wasn't she? He guessed he had to live with that. Having her near, happy with someone else is the inevitable. He thought that maybe seeing her with Van was better than not seeing her at all. The liquor was kicking in. And he suddenly wanted to laugh out loud when he realized that he's even more sober now than when there was no alcohol in his blood.
Fiona stopped in his room and helped him get tucked in bed. He guessed that one last shot at delirium wouldn't be so bad.
Is ok if I call you mine
Just for a time?
And I will be just fine
"… Fiona… Could you please… if it's not such a bother, could you please stay here and hold my hand until I fall asleep?" he asked timidly.
His green hopeful eyes shone brightly and Fiona's heart melted in his gaze. Van can have all night, but Thomas was just asking for a few minutes. She dragged a chair near his bed and smiled his sweetest smile at him.
"Sure thing Thomas. I'll watch over you. Sweet dreams."
An hour later, Fiona kissed his forehead and left the room quietly. Even without her presence, he still had sweet dreams. One where Fiona was his and everything's just fine, because he knew in his heart that a part of her truly was his even for just a time.
He had the memories
And what I'm trying to say isn't really new
It's just the things that happen to me when I'm reminded of you
Author's Notes: Sorry about that. Just wanted to take a break from my other fic. My first ever Zoids fic. I haven't even seen the ending yet… (I think I did see it in cartoon network but… I forgot.) and I don't even know much about Thomas.. but just one episode… one display of his painful unrequited love and…. *sigh* … so that's that. I don't know if Thomas drinks or whatever but wouldn't it be cute to see him (and Irvine) drunk?! Hehehehe… So sorry if info/characterization or whatever is inaccurate. Anyway, enough about my ranting, and stuff and now it's time for you to talk! Tell me how you feel. Was it horrible? Nice? Ok?
Thanks a lot for reading!!! Mwah!
