It took me a while to realise what was happening, but my life was never usually like this. It's suddenly changed, and I can't deal with this anymore. My life used to be normal, I used to be normal. How did it all change? How did I become the broken girl that nobody cares about? The bitch that only seems to care when she wants something, and the only girl who can't hold a conversation for five minutes. My life was normal, 3 years ago. Before I wasn't itching for a cigarette, or to cut myself. Why did it all change? How? I was alive, I was living for the weekend, like every 16 year old girl. I lived for my friends. Now I'm 19, I can't feel anything and I feel as though somebodies ripping my heart from my chest.
I knew it all had to begin, I knew life had an ending too. I just didn't know how it was going to be all silly inbetween.
'breathe me in i am your nicotine, i fill your lungs until you cannot breathe.
swallow me down i am your alcohol, i fill your gut with all the pain and loss.'
lyrics was swarming around my head.
my story goes something like this, it's not pretty.