(I not own,ok? But playing with other people's toys are so fun!)
The Lightning-Struck Tower
Severus was staring in to the fire. His conversation with Dumbledore still ringing in his ears.
'Bad news, Severus, the boy has found out.'
He had looked up and gazed, utterly surprised, in to the fire. 'What?'
'He knows – Harry knows – about you, that you told Voldermort –' he winced slightly at the name but all Dumbledore had done was give a slight smile ' – about the prophesy.'
'What?' Severus said sharply. 'Who –'
'Sibyll.'
'Ah.' Severus said softly and closed his eyes as if he was in pain.
'I appreciate that you refrained from saying "I told you so".' Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling – although faintly – and Severus wanted to hit the old fool. 'But I must hurry; I am running out of time. I must meet Harry down in the Entrance Hall in a couple of minutes time, I sent him after his cloak – '
Severus looked up sharply. 'I thought he was carrying that damned cloak with him where ever he goes.'
'He does.' Dumbledore said with a faint smile. 'But I needed a couple of minute myself, you see, to contact you. Most probably, he's saying good by to his friends and warn them – '
' – about me.' Severus finished of bitterly.
There was about a second of silence between them.
'This probably will change everything, Severus. No, listen to me, time is running out. You told me, all those year ago, that you'd do anything to stop Voldemort. You sent him chasing after a prophesy that – you hoped – would kill him.'
Severus refrained form saying anything.
'Your vow.' Dumbledore whispered. 'You promised me…'
'"To do anything within my power to stop the Dark Lord, To pay the prise for my sins – my mistakes –".' Severus repeated in a hollow voice. 'I know. But I had no idea…'
'…how hard the task would prow itself to be?' Dumbledore asked softly.
Severus gave Dumbledore a look that was half a glair, half… something ells. 'That I might end up having to kill the only friend I ever had, to kill – no, for a chance, a possibility! – of it leading to the killing of the Dark Lord…Please, Albus, don't ask this of me…'
'You remember what I told you, the fall of 81?'
'Yes.' Severus whispered.
'That you'd probably end up paying for things more dearly than anyone else, because there might not be someone else that can?'
'Yes.' Severus whispered hoarsely, closing his eyes.
'What did you say?'
'"I don't care".' Severus said miserably. 'But I didn't – '
' – Know.' Dumbledore finished. 'What does it change? Either you keep me alive in a world Voldemort is alive, rising, ruling –' the corner of Severus eye twitched. '- or you could destroy me, with the hopes of being able to destroy Voldemort to.'
Severus was staring down in to the floor, shoulders slumped, defeated. 'Yes.' He whispered.
'Oh, and Harry thinks that Draco has completed something – what ever it is that he's been planning – in the Room of Requirements. No!' Dumbledore said because Severus was half-way to the door. 'I know, but it is too late for that, I fear. Besides, I need you to stay here.'
'But – '
'No "but" Severus, I will probably need you when I return, and I will need to know where to find you.' Severus opened his mouth to object so Dumbledore pressed on; 'You will stay. You will not endanger everything we've worked so hard for. Besides,' Dumbledore said, trying to soften the blow 'I'm the target, without me here, he'd probably wait until my return, before putting his plan into action, whatever it is.'
'Probably, in theory.' Severus muttered, with a frown.
Suddenly they could here Fakes give a small squawk, a warning.
Dumbledore shook his head. 'I must go.'
Severus kept silent.
'Severus.' Dumbledore said softly and Severus looked him in the eyes one last time. 'Know that I have complete confident in your abilities. I trust you.'
I trust you. Severus covered his face with his hands. There were so many things that could go wrong. And knowing my usual luck, they probably will, Severus thought bitterly.
Severus sat in silence, waiting. The seconds felt like hours, every minute like a year. Not a sound was to be heard. No mice scrabbling in the corners of his office, no clock on the wall, no fire burning in his fireplace. Nothing.
On the inside Severus was far more turbulent than his quiet, peaceful office. He kept going over millions of conversations between him and Dumbledore. Imagining every possible –and impossible – event that could occur during evening. Everything from Dumbledore and Harry returning all right, Draco being saved and them being one step closer to defeating the Dark Lord, one step closer to his doom, to the Dark Lord showing up at Hogwarts himself and destroy and kill everybody. Everybody. All hope gone. He picked the worst and least possible as the most plausible (with the exception of the one where the Dark Lord shows up and waltz around naked in the Great Hall singing "A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love").
Severus realised he was trembling. Trembling so badly that he barely could keep his head in his hands anymore. He was cracking up. He couldn't do this. He couldn't – there was no way he could possibly… His thoughts were running around like mad. … I have complete confidence … I trust you … no-one else can … You will not endanger everything we've worked so hard for …If you are ready … If you are prepared … Do you promise? …Do I have your word? Words, whispered in his ear, in his head. Voices, memories. Then, suddenly, an argument, that argument, at the very end of February…
'I've been thinking, Severus,' Dumbledore said gravely. 'Of the best ways of action.'
Severus didn't say anything just kept on walking with Dumbledore towards the Forbidden Forest.
'We need more information about the Horcruxes, Severus. If you tell him, that in the weekend state before my death, you managed to catch a glimpse of something in my mind; "Horcruxes". You casually mention this to the Dark Lord, not having a real idea of what it is, you say that perhaps it's some sort of weapon that I was going to use against him. He will, of course, know what it is all about, and get very nervous. And he will want to check up on those Horcruxes he has left. But I do not think he will do it alone.'
'You are mad!' Severus said. 'If I as much as breath the word "Horcruxes", he'll kill me!'
'Not after you've proven yourself beyond all others.' Dumbledore said.
'And how, exactly, would I do that?'
'By killing me, of course.'
Severus stopped dead in his tracks.
'You can not be serious, Albus!' he exploded. ' I'm not going through with this! I refuse to do it!'
'Severus, we have an agreement!'
'Well, it just changed, didn't it? I'm not doing this!'
'Severus,' Dumbledore said gravely. 'If I don't die, you, Draco and his family, not to mention a very large portion of the wizarding world, will go in my place.'
'So?' Severus hissed.
Dumbledore shook his head. 'You know what we have to do.'
Severus glared at the old man and took a couple of calming breaths.
'Let's assume, I do as you just said, everything goes according to "plan".' Severus said very slowly, and then, as if he couldn't stay calm anymore, continued in an angry hiss; 'Who, in all the blasted circles of Hell, will I report to?! As you said, you will be gone; my "loyalties" will be proven without a doubt! I may – or may not – have the information, so what will I do with it?!'
Dumbledore gave Severus a very grave look. 'You are a very clever wizard, Severus. After all, "Subtle" is you middle name, I am positive you'll work something out. And I don't think – or ask – that you should kill me in front of the Order. Besides, the best possible outcome would be if you could stay in Hogwarts even after I'm gone. You'd be able to report all sorts of information to the Order and Voldemort would be most pleased if his spy remained.'
'Flattery will get you nowhere!' Severus snarled, and, after a pause added grudgingly; 'Besides, it's "Orlando". And I don't like this one bit…'
Dumbledore gave a slight smile.
'I have faith in you, my boy. Besides, if you can't do it… There is no-one else who can do what you must do.'
Severus had a couple of acid remarks on that but decided to change subject, sort of.
'What about Draco? Can't you talk to him?'
Dumbledore sighted. 'You know very well what I can and can not do, Severus. You, better than anyone else, I am afraid to say, understand the risks and costs my decisions eventually will demand. Of me, of you, of everyone.'
'It still isn't good enough!' Severus hissed.
'Then what do you subject that we do?' Dumbledore asked sternly.
'I don't know! You're the 150 year old genius! You do something! There must be something! Something else, something better, something you haven't thought about…'
'Severus!' Dumbledore said, starting to get annoyed. 'Don't you think I've been looking for some sort of solution on this problem? We've had this discussion many times before! You agreed to do as you were told, you gave me your word, and you'll do as I say. That's final! I don't want to hear anymore about this.'
Severus glared at Dumbledore.
'Severus, you keep doing research in your house,' Dumbledore said, and then lowered his voice. 'just don't lose your cower doing it.'
Severus gave his old friend another poisonous glair. 'Yes, sir.' He sad waspishly.
The tremors settled down. He had no time for this. He could die, do whatever, fall to pieces, but after the war. He had to do this. For Albus' sake, for the promise he'd made, for the world, for himself. He had drawn the shortest straw of them all… There was no way he could give up. He had to fight, make sure that the Potter-brat vanquished the Dark Lord. Because there was no way that Potter could do it himself. And if he couldn't do it, it would mean that he'd die knowing that he failed. That all hope was gone. That all the horrid things he'd done hade been in vain…
Severus took a look at his watch. It was one of those muggle watches. He had taken it from the wrist of the first muggle he had killed. As a reminder. A conscience? He didn't know. It was one of those very few spontaneous things he'd done in his life. Just picked up the man's wrist and slipped the clock right of. It still had blood stains on it. Just like my hands, Severus thought, it never goes away. Severus stared at his watch. Surely it had broken? Even the smallest of the clock arms, the one that shoves the seconds as they tick by, seemed to stand still.
Severus pocketed the watch and settled to staring in to the wall again. And thinking. And getting nowhere. Draco, what are you doing? What are you planning? Why won't you trust me? Why won't you tell me what you're up to? I can help you. I want to help you. I always wanted to help you. Even before I made that vow to your mother… Oh, how it complicate things… It's ironic, isn't it? I think - I think that vow will condemn you… Why won't you let me help you? Draco… I can not help but worry… I have a really bad feeling about tonight. Severus sighted. Albus, come back, we need you here. Severus silently begged.
He took another look at his watch for what felt like the thousand time.
He was positive that the clock's arms hadn't moved.
Severus was sitting in his office. He was growing more and more agitated. He had since long stopped looking at his watch – he was positive the damn thing was broken anyway – and he could not stand looking at it anymore. It was a bad omen.
Severus was far from gifted with a Seers Gift. However he was expressing all the telltale signs that tings were about to take a turn for the worse. His skin was itching, the world seamed unnaturally quiet, his mind was restless and filling him with doubt. He hadn't felt this bad since he almost ended up as a midnight snack for a certain amber-eyed werewolf…
I will not think about that tonight! Severus told himself sternly. It's all in the past… For once, let sleeping werewolf's lie… But that didn't stop Severus from growing more and more restless for every minute that passed.
He thought that the clock would have to be close to midnight before something happened. Footsteps. Running quickly towards his office. Muffled shouts. He barley had the time to sort himself out and get up and walk around his desk when Flitwick came barging in.
'Severus!' he gasped. 'Quickly! Death Eaters! Need your help! Come!'
For a second Severus' heart froze to ice. Then it was as if the world suddenly changed. The dice had been thrown. It was time for him to act.
He used an old knock-out-curse he'd made during his first year in school; he'd had some fun times with that one. Usually making his classmates cry, since it was non-verbal, and he usually sent it flying with the words "drop dead". He'd stopped using it after he was threatened with expulsion from Hogwarts and the other kids learned that he only made them faint. It just wasn't as fun after that.
Flitwick had already hit the floor – and Severus was almost by the door – when he thought about a cushioning-charm. But there was no time for those things. At least Flitwick would be safe in his office. Better a little bit battered and bruised than dead.
His heart almost stopped when he came rushing out of his office and almost ended up crashing in to that Granger girl and Miss Lovegood. He was thinking a mile per minute.
'Flitwick collapsed in my office! Hurry and look after him.' the girls rushed in to the room without question. 'Stay there and guard him!' he added with a shout over his shoulder.
Well, that was hopefully three people safe… "Flitwick collapsed in my office"? That has to be the worst lie I ever told. Every spy, thief and liar in the history of man must be rolling in their grave… Severus would have stopped and kicked himself if he'd had the time.
As he was running he started to here the sound of battle – he couldn't believe he hadn't heard it before – it sounded as if someone was trying to tear down the school…
Then Severus saw. The battle. He recognise most people instantly. But he saw neither Dumbledore nor Draco. Then he saw Longbottom fly through the air, he saw the guarded staircase. And he knew where they were. Where he had to be.
Running as fast as he could, ducking a couple of hexes – no-one was firing at him so it was easily done – and he reached the staircase. He recognised the barrier – he had helped creating it – and had no problem getting past it. And he was almost flying up the stairs. He prayed to what ever god or goddess that were listening that he wouldn't be too late. That it wouldn't be too late. And he slammed the door open.
It took a couple of seconds for him to take in what he was seeing. Draco wasn't alone. And neither, it seemed, was Dumbledore, since he spotted the second broom and glimpsed "Harry" in Dumbledore mind. Severus felt bile rise in his thought. Not have me killing you in front of the Order, eh? But what about your beloved Gryffindor? He thought and sneered at Dumbledore.
Amycus was talking to him, telling him things Severus known since Draco was given the blasted mission. But he was to busy being engraved in a "mind talk" with Dumbledore to truly listen. He was dying. What ever Albus been doing, it had made his condition worse. After the mistake he made with the ring, Severus had healed him after his best abilities. But he had told Dumbledore that the rings curse would eventually consume him and that he had 1½ year, 2 if he was lucky, left to live. Severus could see that only a miracle would make him survive the night (that is, if you don't take in the fact that Severus – or someone else – had to kill him). You can not be fucking serious! You can not ask this of me!
'Severus…' Dumbledore said softly, pleadingly. But there was still trust in those eyes. You could see it if you only looked for it.
Severus didn't say anything – he didn't think he could – just walked forwards. He was vaguely aware that he showed Draco out of the way. I have to do this… Severus didn't think he ever hated anything before like he hated then. Hated himself, the world, the war, the Dark Lord… And most of all Dumbledore for making him do this. Save that hate, you'll need it, a treacherous part of his brain whispered. Severus only felt revulsion and hate about himself. So you condemn us all to Hell? He thought bitterly.
'Severus… please…'
Severus raised his wand and willed all his anger, all his hate, to transform itself in to a deadly beam of green light.
'Avada Kedavra!'
