A/N: This will probably be more than a one-shot. It has a lot of angst at the beginning, but again I'm trying to build it up. My other fic, End of a Beginning, is not over yet, and I am hoping to tie that in with this one later. So this is like the sequel. Depending on how the show goes, this could end up being a happy story.

Ch. 1

Had they made it? Had they really made it to the new phase? Cristina never thought it would happen to her, becoming something more than Cristina Yang.

Gone was the silence, so too should the frown.

Right. She was supposed to be putting on her most glamorous smile, dancing in the apartment, passing passionate kisses.

Marry Me. Those two words were so big that they should flood the house and overthrow all the terrible feelings locked up in her body.

Yes. That was the only word that the room could accommodate. That was the only thing she ought to say.

But she couldn't.

Tears still streaming down her cheeks, her heart ached as much as her eyes. The turbulence inside her was so great that she felt like she was being strangled—not by the tremendous love, but the fear.

The yearning in his eyes was like a feisty beast that needed to be tamed. What if she took it seriously and to him it was just another game?

Burke could be mad at her. He could have challenged what she said or did. He could have ignored her. Instead, he was rushing her again.

Just when they were drawn back together a step closer, he was giving her such a forceful push that she felt like she'd being shoved off the chair.

The tears were like kerosene. The longer they soaked through her face, the more intense the flames of desire in Burke's eyes boiled.

Why hadn't anyone ever told her how frightening love could be?

She knew it was love. No question about that. What she couldn't tell was what would happen after that.

She was asking for forgiveness. He was demanding commitment. Could a castle be built when the shaken ground had not been fixed?

Averting her gaze to the table, Cristina threw one of her hands to the back of the chair, ready to support herself to excuse herself from the table—if only there wasn't another hand reaching forward to stop it.

She couldn't bear the consequence of saying no, nor could she utter a yes without doubting her decision.

Feeling the heat under skin, Cristina was sobbing on his chest as he gently combed her messy curls with his long and god-like fingers. As his fingers swiftly caught the hand that was stubbornly hidden behind Cristina's waist, Burke slipped something into it.

Chill passed through her body like an electrical current, as the metal piece brushed across the tip of her fingers. Couldn't he ever learn the meaning of one step at a time?

The rock didn't sit well in her trembling fist. As much as she feared it, she had to break from Burke's embrace to figure out how big a deal it was.

Shifting it under the light, Cristina gasped at the shiny loop as her tears receded.

The ring was flawless, but she wasn't. The sense that she was defective, that there was something bad about her, that she was worthless, was overwhelming.

By breaking the silence, Burke had only made it bigger and deeper, like a wound awaiting to be healed.

Too many thoughts were attacking her weakened body, too many things were there for her to say.

She loved her man, she really did.

But she wasn't ready.

She couldn't believe she could give him what he wanted. She couldn't trust that she wouldn't disappoint him again. She had done too many horrible things, even if nobody said so directly in her face.

Burke had already won the game, why couldn't he wait and let her win this time?

An answer had to be given, a promise had to be made.

Cristina knew it, but she couldn't do it.

Staring at him, begging in silence he could give her more time, Cristina grabbed his arms and pulled him closer. The heart beating inside him was as wild as the one she owned.

Her life had been a huge chaos,
A rock was what she needed.
Not one that's made of diamond,
but one of flesh and blood.
Firm yet soothing to hold on to,
but not a tornado of love;
For she knew when two tornados came together,
they would just blow off the roof.
So before those foolish hearts calmed down at last,
Cristina would not move.

She could not move.