Yike, this took forever. But here it is, the next installment of both the Decorum series and the how-Sephy-and-Zack-got-together arc. I'm not as happy with this one as I have been with most others, but I'll let you guys judge.
I don't own anything but the Choir, which is just my mind's version of characters created by the great Nomura-san. I intend no infringement by making them grope each other, etc., and really, if Nomura didn't want this sort of thing, he shouldn't have made them so hot.
IMPROVEMENT
"Gaia and all the gods, boy, do you ever stop bouncing?"
Zack pouted at his mentor and put a little extra spring in his next step. "Why're you so grumpy?"
It was a free day for Zack, and Angeal had suggested he go spend time with his friends in 2nd and 3rd Class. Yet here he was, having happily hurried up to Angeal in this hallway and begun to walk with him.
Zack spoke again before he could answer. "Did I do something wrong?"
Angeal immediately felt bad. As confident and casual as Zack was, he was very anxious to please his teacher and took it hard when he thought he was being treated with disapproval. Angeal briefly patted the boy's hair and shook his head, coming to a halt though he had somewhere he needed to be.
"Of course not, Puppy." Angeal smiled at the relieved grin beaming up at him. "I'm just, as you say, grumpy. Too much to do, not enough time."
"Let me help!" Zack offered enthusiastically.
"I appreciate that, Zack, but I don't think you can. I have to turn in paperwork, help two instructors with three combat classes, and help Sephiroth, if I can convince him to let me."
Zack's attention was caught by the mention of the general, as always. "What's he doing?"
"The tech department is upgrading the file system in the ShinRa database so that keyword searches will be more effective," Angeal explained. "Unfortunately, when they started to input data from mission reports, they began to have trouble. These are engineers, not SOLDIERs, and they aren't familiar with military phrasing. So Sephiroth has shut himself in his office and claims he will handle it alone. Six months of mission reports, the stubborn bastard."
Zack smiled to hear Angeal speak so fondly and informally, but then his innocent face went dim with concern. "Is he okay?"
"Sephiroth, you mean?"
"Uh-huh. He's seemed...tense lately. And we hardly ever see him."
Angeal nodded, worried himself and wishing that Zack wasn't always so perceptive about people. "I believe so. Sephiroth just has his moods."
"Well, that's kinda good to know. Tell ya what, you go handle your stuff, and I'll help the general."
Angeal went still, stalling for time and a reason to say no. Zack was certainly intelligent enough. Despite his trouble concentrating, he read quickly and was familiar with the content of mission reports. Angeal just wasn't sure it was a good idea to have the two of them alone, without his presence. Though Sephiroth was unusually friendly to the boy and had promised he didn't dislike him, Zack seemed to somehow be a part of the general's recent tension.
"Thank you, Pup, but the new computer system - "
" - is more user-friendly than the last, I heard, and I knew my way around the mainframe before. Remember when Reno and I broke in and switched the names of all the Turks with the names of their weapons?"
"I try not to recall such things, actually."
"And I know how to use that too, it's the same kind as mine." Zack carefully took the laptop case from Angeal's hand and tucked it under his arm. "C'mon, I'll behave. I just..."
Want to see him, need to be near him, Zack thought. "Owe him."
Angeal frowned. It had only been a week since that business with Matheson, and Zack still refused to elaborate on his first explanation. "We had a fight, we broke up," was all he would say. Driven mad by Angeal's prodding, Zack had even consented to what he called "the most embarrassing physical ever" and a visit with Dr. Murakai, the psychiatrist. Both doctors pronounced the 2nd Class perfectly fine, and Angeal had backed down. But that didn't stop him from wondering.
He tried another tactic. "Pup, I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to be alone with Sephiroth."
Zack sighed and rolled his eyes, something very few dared to do at Commander Hewley. "You think I can't behave properly when I try? You think I'm so annoying that he'll end up killing me? Or are you worried I might try to jump his bones? That's at least a refreshing twist on your weirdo conviction that everyone who looks at me intends to rape me."
Angeal answered the bitter voice with a soft, pained one. "I don't know if it would be good for you."
Zack blinked, and understanding softened his expression. He stepped closer and slowly grabbed Angeal into a hug that was a bit awkward, since he was still holding the laptop case. Uncaring that people were passing through the adjacent hallways, the 1st put his arms tightly around the boy and let his chin rest on soft black spikes. It was strange, the way his heart hurt with sympathy pain whenever Zack's did. It felt like...parenthood, the wish that had been fulfilled in an unexpected way.
"Thank you, Angeal," Zack whispered. "But I want to be his friend, if I can't be anything else. He said he wants us to be friends, right? Let me be, please?"
To Zack's surprise, Angeal gently squeezed him before letting go, rather than shrugging him off with an indulgent smile. Impulsively, full of affection for the mentor he adored and looked up to, Zack grabbed Angeal's hand and offered one of his blinding smiles, the kind no one could resist returning. Angeal did return it, and stroked the boy's cheek with his palm and fingers for a moment. Zack's physical nature really was rubbing off on him, he supposed.
"Call me if you need me. Or...if anything. If Seph tells you no thank you, don't push him. Okay?"
"I promise!" Zack dropped Angeal's hand and gave him another quick hug before he bounced off down the corridor.
Angeal shook his head with a faint smile. A door nearby opened, and Commander Hitchcock grinned at him and made a whipping motion with his hand.
"Shut up," Angeal said, while he thought, I know.
zsazsazsa
Sephiroth felt tense. At last, after all the recent jumble of emotions he couldn't puzzle out, here was one he knew. Tense was when Angeal went on dangerous missions and returned late. Tense was being paraded like a trophy to scientists and visiting dignitaries. Tense was walking toward the lab for an appointment. And now, tense was his usually-ordered office in disarray, with stacks of files in 'done' and 'to-do' piles all over the place. He didn't mind the work, it was easy, mindless, it would keep him occupied. He minded the mess, and Levine's mother-hen hovering, and the guess that Angeal would be here soon to offer help and try to talk to him...
So when the knock at the inner office door came, Sephiroth suppressed a growl and said, through clenched teeth, "Enter."
Levine opened the door, his usual scowl melting away to concern as it always did for his employer, but nonetheless, he still looked irritated. "My apologies, General. I know you said no visitors, but this one refuses - "
"I'll take it from here, thanks!" a cheerful voice rang out, and Sephiroth froze for a moment to see Zack Fair elbow his way past a fuming Levine, stroll inside and salute. "General, I've come to offer my assistance."
Partly to avoid meeting Fair's eyes, Sephiroth dismissed his assistant and straightened a few things on his desk. "You have the day free, Fair."
"It's Zack, remember?"
"Zack." He looked up at last and gave the nervous boy a faint, mask-like smile. "You are doing very well in all areas. You should enjoy this time off."
"Thank you, sir, but with all due respect, I'm still having trouble keeping my focus where it belongs. It would be helpful to me to be allowed to help you, sir, and I would really like to. Please, sir?"
Sephiroth would have thought the boy tricky for coming up with such a hard-to-argue reason, but his face was guileless, innocent, only eager to help. Such a sweet face...
"Do you have experience with the database?" Sephiroth heard himself ask.
Zack smiled brightly, and the general felt his hands grow inexplicably warm. "Yes, sir. I know I can do it. Please give me a chance."
"If you like." Sephiroth managed to say this casually, and to carelessly indicate the couch across the room that faced the desk. "Make yourself comfortable. Would you like something to drink?"
"I brought something, thanks." Zack indicated the large bottle of vitamin-enriched water he carried, the same kind the general was drinking, and carefully settled himself on the couch.
Determined not to disturb anything (or anyone), Zack switched the laptop on and logged in with the password Sephiroth gave him. Then he grabbed a handful of files and began to comb through mission reports, pulling up each name and place he found, and adding new information and cross-linking related articles. About an hour passed as the two worked in silence, and Zack found, to his pleasant surprise, that once he got into the rhythm of this, it was almost automatic, requiring little thought.
This freed him up to sneak glances at Sephiroth. At first, all Zack could see was that famous beauty that he both appreciated, and resented for the way it made people talk about the general. Not SOLDIERs (at least not loudly or disrespectfully) but Zack had heard high-ranking members of the company speaking of Sephiroth as customers in a brothel might evaluate their entertainment. Zack knew he couldn't do anything about this, even Angeal couldn't...did it bother Sephiroth, he wondered, did he even notice the way people looked at him?
The general was focused on his work, the way he had been for hours. Zack admired that kind of dedication, but he couldn't help but sense the unusual amount of tension radiating from Sephiroth, and how his eyes flickered once or twice at the piles of documents cluttering the room. Zack couldn't really help it, he was naturally intuitive about other people's feelings, and he remembered Angeal describing this office as 'Seph's sanctuary'.
I wonder, Zack thought, deciding to make a guess and trying to think of a tactful way to do so. His mouth ignored the brain's delay and made him speak bluntly.
"These files are driving you crazy, sir, aren't they?"
Sephiroth looked at him but did not pause or slow his typing, which Zack found slightly eerie. "I would prefer to be engaged in a more challenging task, but doing this myself will at least afford me the knowledge that it is done correctly."
The answer seemed to vaguely imply a compliment, which was one of the reasons Zack smiled. "Yes, sir. But I meant the mess of all these piles. Hey, how 'bout I put most of them in the outer office? Then, when we need more, I'll go get them and bring the finished ones out. That might give us a less distracting work atmosphere, sir."
Sephiroth blinked a few times, childlike in his puzzlement. "If...you wish to do so, Lieutenant - "
"Zack," the boy interrupted, smiling weakly at his boldness.
"...Zack. Go ahead, if you like. I would...appreciate that."
The 2nd Class's eyes brightened as he collected and moved the bulk of the report files, but not turning greenish as mako usually made SOLDIER eyes when under the influence of anger or aggression. It was more like Fair was beaming from the inside; he even bit his lower lip to repress another smile. Sephiroth absently scolded himself for observing that rare pale blue light up like a sunny sky and cause a fluttery feeling in his stomach.
He could feel his muscles relax a little as the office was restored to its normal order and Zack returned to Angeal's laptop with a friendly grin. The general quickly continued with his own work, but found himself constantly shifting his focus from it to Fair, who wore a happy expression even as he persevered in a task that no SOLDIER liked. Sometimes he would squint at a report's hasty, scrawling handwriting, and his nose would slightly wrinkle. The boy shifted and even bounced a little on the couch cushions, though he seemed unaware of this restlessness. Sephiroth wasn't sure how to describe these little quirks, but they made him feel warm again, and want to smile.
Focus, he commanded himself, and usually Sephiroth obeyed his own orders as well as his devoted men did. But he wanted to read the fine-feature lines of the boy's pretty face, not a description of a battle against a Dark Dragon. He wanted a better look at those eyes that were so innocent and open.
(Innocence, Zack gave it off in waves like heat, and a dark feeling broke these tender musings for a moment. Matheson, that worthless son of a Zolom, had had him. He had seen all that lovely skin that a uniform covered, he had been privileged to learn the scent of that spiky hair by heart, he had felt Zack shudder beneath him as the teenager came with a cry of abandon. Sephiroth cast this train of thought away, because it made him feel hatred toward a SOLDIER and arousal at the thought of Zack nude, and he wasn't sure which emotion bothered him more. Because it wasn't just arousal...)
Stop this. This is like every other attraction, only different because he is so young and I cannot have him. Crush or no, I could not do that to Angeal, the boy is like a son to him. I must find another way to deal with this attraction.
And, at the moment,a way to get his mind off Fair and back to the computer screen. Perhaps if he looked his fill, just indulged in a brief, subtle stare, it would be enough to tide him over. A plan worth trying. Unfortunately, Fair looked up at exactly the same moment, and smiled with embarrassment as their eyes met.
"I'm not distracting you, sir, am I?"
More than you will ever know. "On the contrary. I appreciate your help, Zack."
The boy beamed again to hear his name; how easily pleased he was. "I'm happy to. Angeal will never believe how quiet and still I've been."
"You are different," Sephiroth said abruptly, even a bit awkwardly, but it was true and an excuse to keep hearing the 2nd's voice.
"Different, sir?"
"Not what I expected you to be. I mean, you seem to behave differently in Angeal's company. You are much more mobile, noisier - "
"Less mature?" Zack shrugged good-naturedly. "This is ShinRa, sir. There aren't many people who would tolerate that part of my personality. But Angeal...even if he wags his finger at me now and then, I think he likes it. I think...maybe he even needs it, someone to keep him on his toes."
"And to care for," Sephiroth said softly. "Angeal has always been protective with those he cares for."
"Was he nuts with his other students too?"
Sephiroth looked (and was) surprised. "Angeal has never had any one-on-one students before. He has taught and assisted with classes for the younger SOLDIERs, but you are the first he's ever mentored. You were not aware of this?"
Zack looked shocked too, but in a touched way. "No. Then...why did he..."
Sephiroth felt awkward and wished he had not spoken, but overriding these feelings was a desire to push the confusion off Fair's face and make the smile come back. So he tried to answer as best he could, though he wondered if Zack's half-question had been rhetorical.
"Angeal has, from the beginning of his association with you, spoken to me of your skill and potential. You must be aware of how much you have stood out among your age group since you joined the program. Angeal believed you would only get the necessary time and attention from a one-on-one teacher. Only the guidance of a highly-skilled 1st Class would provide you with the instruction you deserve. I believe that is how it began."
Zack had been looking down, unmoved, as ShinRa's revered general praised him, remembering the loneliness he had felt as a cadet. Though cheerful and liked by nearly everyone, Sephiroth was right, Zack had stuck out, and being as sensitive as he was, he couldn't help but feel the envy and resentment directed toward him. Then Angeal had come, like the sun into a dark sky. Zack's face tilted up into sight as he heard the emphasis Sephiroth placed on that last word.
"Angeal cares for you very much. That is not an easy thing for him to do, as he has not allowed himself to get close to anyone for years. He was very hurt by the loss of a friend of ours, and I believe his close friendship with you has been a sort of healing experience," Sephiroth said, all the while amazed that he was talking so openly about his best friends to this boy he barely knew.
Then Zack smiled (wistfully, but still a smile), and it answered his confusion. "You mean Genesis, sir? I understand. I know how much Angeal loved him. No wonder it's been so hard for him to move on and fall in love with anyone else."
The general's racing thoughts went still, his face frozen with the emergence of a new and more powerful confusion. "In love? Angeal...and Genesis?"
"Oh Gaia...was I not supposed to..." Fair stammered in panic, "wait...you didn't know they...?"
Sephiroth shook his head slowly. His eyes dropped back to the desk's surface and stared through it at the past, trying to analyze what he had never been good at comprehending, trying to see something even he should have recognized.
"Sir, I'm sorry," Zack went on apologetically. "Angeal didn't tell me either, I just guessed from the way he talked about Genesis the few times he mentioned him and...you...you really didn't know?"
"No." Sephiroth recalled Angeal and Genesis having more free time than himself and knew that they were always together, with or without him...but he had found that normal. The two had been best friends since they were toddlers, after all. "They never said anything about...that."
"Oh...um..."
"You guessed this from hearing Angeal speak?"
"Yes, sir," Zack said, trying not to squirm. "He says I'm good at reading people."
"And when you guessed, he confirmed," Sephiroth continued, though more to himself than to Fair. He couldn't hide the slight hurt that bled into his voice. "Angeal and I have spoken little of Genesis since his death, but before, neither ever told me..."
"At the risk of buting my nose into your business, General, I think I know why," Zack said bravely, pausing to bite his lower lip with a disarming and unconscious cuteness. "I know the three of you were best friends. I think Angeal and Genesis didn't want you to feel left out, or that they loved you any less. I'm sure they never intended to deceive you, that they were just waiting for the right time, for what they had to become more serious."
Listening to Fair's earnest words and the quiet that followed them, Sephiroth analyzed. Genesis and Angeal got to spend plenty of time alone...but they'd always eagerly welcomed Sephiroth when he was allowed to see them, happily dragging him to the VR Room or outside for sparring or to teach him the childhood games they had played in Banora. He had known the two of them were best friends, but they had never made him feel like he was worth less than either. And after Genesis's death, though Angeal was inconsolable at first, he'd afterward become even closer to Sephiroth, and the love and protective concern he'd always shown him never faltered over the years.
Genesis and Angeal had been...? As the initial shock wore off, the new knowledge seemed to fit. So that was why Angeal never had relationships. As far as Sephiroth knew, Angeal didn't even indulge in the casual liaisons he did himself, the affairs so common to SOLDIERs who trained and fought together. Fair's explanation for Angeal's secrecy made sense, too. Angeal and Genesis had always tried to include him in everything...they would not have wished to make him feel left out or different when his frienship with them was the only normality he had.
"Sir? I'm really sorry. Am I in trouble?"
"No," Sephiroth heard himself say, more gently than he wanted to. "I appreciate your concern for me, Zack, and I am not at all displeased with you. But I believe we should return to our work."
"Yes, sir, of course," Zack said quickly, scrambling to grab the next file.
Again, Sephiroth found himself speaking without first considering his words. "You are not on duty at the moment, Zack. You may call me by my given name."
"Really?" Zack positively beamed. "Thank you...Sephiroth. Wow, that's awesome. Your name is so cool, you know, it always reminded me of something celestial, you know, like it should have an angelic choir singing behind it. Uh, of course, Angeal's name makes me think of the same stuff, good thing I never told Dr. Murakai, he already thinks...uh..."
The boy's stammering, first excited and then nervous, ended with Zack shifting uncomfortably, biting his lower lip and casting his brilliant sapphire eyes down as his cheeks went faintly pink. Sephiroth wasn't sure what he should do or what he thought, except that the sight was so...cute? Yes, cute, the word he had heard applied to Zack so many times. He was so cute that Sephiroth couldn't help but smile gently. It must have been the right thing to do, though, because Zack finally looked up, laughed softly and returned to typing information into the laptop. Sephiroth got back to his work as well, and for a long time a not-uncomfortable silence prevailed in the room.
Hours passed this way, as afternoon turned into evening, and when the sky outside began to darken, Sephiroth suggested a dinner break and offered to order them something up from the 1st Class dining hall. Zack gratefully accepted, and they put aside the paperwork for a little while when the hot plates of spicy noodles tossed with steamed vegetables arrived. It was one of Sephiroth's preferred foods (though he normally didn't much care about what he ate) but he wasn't sure whether or not Zack had ever had it. He was pleased to see the boy dig into the pasta dish with the hunger one would expect of an eighteen-year-old SOLDIER.
"Is it to your liking?"
"It's great," Zack said as soon as he swallowed. "Man, if this is what all Wutainese food is like, I wish I'd been around during the war."
Sephiroth nearly laughed at the kid's innocent comment. "The combination of heat and sweetness you taste is a spice called yakumi, which is used frequently in the preparation of Wutainese food. But remember that during battle, there is no time for sampling local cuisine. Our culinary experience of Wutai, as I recall, consisted mainly of standard ShinRa rations."
"But you got to sample the good stuff after peace was declared, right?"
"Yes, Lord Godo held a banquet following the signing of the treaty. He was an honorable man. He lent me the services of his own food taster that night."
"Food taster?"
"In case of poison."
Zack seemed offended. "You forcing Wutai's surrender saved countless lives! You even intervened with ShinRa to make the treaty's conditions better for them! I learned that in classes, and even Angeal told me!"
"It is in ShinRa's best interest that new recruits are given reasons to admire me," Sephiroth began in a patient voice, "and Angeal would defend me, I suspect, even if it taxed his sense of honor to do so. Yes, my arrival in Wutai brought the war to a hastier end, and doubtless many casualties were spared. But I also killed a great many of their army single-handed, and intimidated a proud and noble people into a surrender that humiliated many of them. They had and have reason to call me a demon. I know you wish to be a hero, Zack, and I don't want to discourage you. But in war, the glory is always outweighed by suffering. All are punished with the loss of something."
Zack listened solemnly, aware that it was not at all usual for Sephiroth to speak in more than terse, short sentences, and nodded his understanding. Far from being discouraged, he was actually grateful for the general's openness and honesty. Angeal only relented to tell him war stories after much badgering and always gave in reluctantly, but even then, he avoided tales that focused on the grimmer and more pessimistic aspects of the war. Zack suspected that Angeal valued his youthful optimism and innocence too much to risk damaging these things, and wondered hopefully if this meant that Sephiroth, in contrast, didn't think of him as a child.
"Maybe it's good I missed it, then," the 2nd conceded. "Do you think ShinRa will ever have another full-out war?"
"I don't foresee such a thing occurring in our lifetimes. Wutai's resistance exists now only in scattered pockets, and there is no other large enough threat."
"Good. I want to be a hero, protect people, you know? Not fight a whole people just because ShinRa wants to control them and their land," Zack said thoughtfully. "Not to badmouth the company, but I'm starting to realize I don't have to like what ShinRa does to be a part of it, as long as being here lets me do some good. I think Angeal feels the same way, but he doesn't tell me because he's afraid I'll run my mouth and get myself in trouble."
Sephiroth swallowed, looked down and smiled.
"What? Aw, c'mon, what?"
"You are not quite what I originally expected you to be. You are mature, intelligent and well-spoken beyond your years, not at all the childish, spoiled puppy I had anticipated."
The pale eyes gleamed with mischief. "Thanks. But don't tell Angeal, okay? I kinda like the way he hovers and worries all the time. Uh, don't tell him that either, 'kay?"
"Very well. I would not deprive Angeal of exercising his irrepressible parental instincts, especially now that you have taken that burden largely off of me," Sephiroth said lightly.
"Really? Did he ever nag you about not eating enough vegetables?"
"Had my diet not always been a well-balanced one, I'm sure he would have."
"Well-balanced is boring," Zack complained. "Have you ever eaten an entire Supreme Everything Party Pie from Pizza Palace?"
"No, I don't believe so." In fact, it had been years since he had eaten pizza at all.
"Oh, man, we gotta do that sometime! I guarantee, you'll love it!"
"Perhaps," Sephiroth said with amusement.
As the two SOLDIERs went on with their dull work, they found themselves speaking to each other now and then, and were both surprised at the ease with which they did so. Sephiroth's usual uneasiness at interpersonal communications was softened by the fondness he felt for the boy (more than fondness, the back of his mind whispered). Before he knew it, he was telling short anecdotes from his life that people had always considered amusing in order to see and hear Zack laugh. And to his great surprise, Sephiroth found himself laughing briefly at Zack's eerily perfect impression of Angeal doing one of his pride-and-dreams speeches.
The comfort Sephiroth was feeling with the one he had been trying not to think of was a dangerous thing and he knew it, knew this impossible, puzzling longing would only get worse the closer he became to Zack. Clearly the boy was happy in his presence, and that was enough to convince Sephiroth that they should be friends as Angeal had suggested. But he would have to maintain enough distance...and perhaps, over time, this combination of joy and pain would go away, or at least get easier to bear.
The general had grown accustomed to working late and had planned to do so on this day, and as evening became night, he tried to dismiss Zack with thanks for all his help.
"I'm not tired," the boy said cheerfully. "I can keep going. Please? At least let me finish this pile?"
He wants to be near me, Sephiroth thought, and his chest tightened, but he couldn't say no to that sweet, pleading face, or the part of himself that wanted Zack close by and didn't care about the consequences. He pulled up Fair's schedule on his computer and saw that his call time for patrol was late in the morning, nearly eleven o'clock.
"Very well."
The 2nd thanked him happily and became quiet, apparently intent on finishing as much as he could before he was sent away. Sephiroth focused on his own work, with the same concentration, trying not to look at Zack and finally succeeding. Time often became blurry when Sephiroth worked this fast and this intently, and when he next glanced at the clock he realized two things. First, that it was nearly midnight, and second, that he had not heard the sound of typing and shuffling paper across the room for some time now. He looked up, at the sight he'd been avoiding.
Zack was asleep,with the open laptop on the cushion beside him. He was curled toward the arm of the couch, with his arms hanging over it and his face tilted downward, chin resting on his chest. The boy looked perfectly peaceful, and Sephiroth didn't want to disturb him, but nonetheless, he found himself standing and walking to Fair, bending over him slowly.
Ah, there was that intoxicating Zack smell, like lavender and cinnamon, and Sephiroth breathed it in deeply. He reached out a hand to brush strands of silky black hair away from Fair's eyes, and lingered to stroke the spikes as he had seen Angeal do, enjoying their rich softness.
So far this was safe, curious, friendly, even experimental, though Sephiroth balked at that word, at the idea of the world of Hojo approaching the world of Zack. If the 2nd woke, he could claim he was only trying to wake him up, and sternly send him off to his apartment with an excuse for wandering the halls so late. But the fingers of Sephiroth's hand had a will of their own, and they lightly descended to stroke a smooth cheek, then cup it, and the general felt something like he imagined intoxication must be at the way Zack's face fit perfectly against his gentle hand.
The boy sighed softly, with a faint, unconscious smile, and turned into the touch. Sephiroth was startled and yanked his hand back instantly...but a minute went by and Zack remained asleep. I should stop, this isn't right, it's an unnecessary risk, but despite these logical thoughts, Sephiroth's fingers stretched out again, this time running carefully over the sleeper's pink lips, and they were as soft as every other part of Zack's surface was. So puzzling, this young man, such a combination of softness and strength, innocent child and mature soul.
Sephiroth's heart physically hurt in a way it had only a handful of times in his life, like it was swelling and trying to break past his ribs, to run away from this as he wanted to run away. He wanted Zack, wanted him badly, but not just the body that his silver eyes took in hungrily - all of him, everything beneath the skin, the soul that animated the pale eyes and made the laughter that was like bells and the babbling of streams and the clash of steel in victory, though it sounded like none of these things. He wanted not only to bed Zack, but to hold him, to let the teenager's cheerful voice chase away all his fear and confusion.
Sephiroth's fingertips traced Zack's lips for a few moments more, then jerked back as his inhumanly powerful hearing picked up the sound of footsteps briskly approaching from the outside hallway. The general was back in his seat and straightening up the desk's contents with not a single hair out of place by the time Angeal burst through the inner office door.
"Seph, have you seen - oh, thank Gaia." The commander sighed a smile of quiet relief, and ran his hand briefly over Zack's hair, obviously reassured by the touch. "I had no idea he would be staying so late."
"I did not intend to alarm you. He insisted and I didn't wish to discourage his eagerness to help."
"Gave you the puppy-pout, didn't he? ShinRa should be using that as a weapon," Angeal laughed softly. "So everything went well?"
"He was extremely helpful, and pleasant to converse with."
Angeal's smile was wider than usual, clearly delighted. "That's excellent. Thank you for doing this, Seph. I'll get him out now."
As Angeal bent over Zack and began to gently shake him, Sephiroth felt a sudden pang and an urge to ask that he be allowed to remain where he was. But Zack shouldn't spend all night in that half-upright position, and he certainly couldn't be known to have spent the night in any quarters belonging to SOLDIER's commanding officer. His association with Angeal already spawned enough rumors, already ensured that the boy had to work harder to be taken on his own considerable merits. And no wonder.
"Puppy," Angeal was saying softly, almost cooing, as he jostled Zack by the shoulder with increasing firmness. "C'mon, you should be in bed."
"Five more minutes," the boy mumbled half-consciously. "...'s having a good dream..."
"Sorry Zack. You can finish it in your own bed, let's go."
"Don't wanna..."
"Well, you're going to. And don't even think about - "
Zack tilted his face up just enough to pout childishly, then snuggled deeper into the soft leather of the couch. Angeal rolled his eyes, grumbled convincingly, and began to gently push his arms underneath the boy's back and knees. Sephiroth offered a weak smile, envious but trying for amusement, when Angeal turned around to face him with Zack sleepily dangling from his broad arms and clutching his uniform shirt.
"I don't normally do this," the commander said defensively. "He hates being picked up, anyway. He'll be annoyed with me tomorrow. Thank you again for puppy-sitting, Seph."
"Any time," the general said, and meant it.
Angeal maneuvered carefully through both office doors and out to the corridor, managing his burden with ease, unlike Sephiroth, who stood like the statue he resembled, beautiful and alone. His fingers twitched for a moment as he watched them go, as they though they longed to reach out and grasp something. Neurological symptom, he thought automatically, I have to report it, but he probably wouldn't. As time went on, he found himself avoiding Hojo more and more when it came to minor things like this.
"'Night, Seph."
"Good night, Angeal," Sephiroth whispered. "Good night, Zack."
Okay, a bit boring in my opinion, but at least Sephy and Zack are getting somewhere. The next Decorum will probably be another deviation from this arc, which I hope you guys will forgive me for. If it comes out the way I want it to, it'll be funny and zany (hint, hint), so maybe that will make it okay?
Let me know what you think!
