Title: Psycho Killer
Author: The Cat's Hiss
Genre: Humor/Friendship
Fandom: Leverage
Pairing: Not applicable. Eliot/Parker if you squint and happen to be taking LSD.
Rating: K+
Summary: Eliot's up to something a little bizarre…
Author's Note: Forgive me for this crap. The song was stuck in my head, and my friend Elena (FountainOfPens - check her out) voted for me to do a Leverage fic as my first one on this account. So, yeah. This is for you, my Feline Fairy Dragoness. Enjoy the crack.
The music poured from the hitter's lips as his fingers worked their way on the bass along with the background music. His entire body bounced to the music, his hair swinging around his face in a flurry.
"I can't seem to face up to the facts." He sung, his voice low. "I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax. I can't sleep, cause my bed's on fire. Don't touch me, I'm a real live wire." Eliot grinned as the chorus came up. He jumped in the air as he sung at the top of his lungs.
"Psycho Killer! Qu'est-ce que c'est? Fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, better run, run, run, run, run, run, run awayyyyy! Oh, Ooh, Oh… Psycho Killer, Cu'est-ce que c'est? Fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, better run, run, run, run, run, run, run awayyyyy! Oh, o-oh, o-o-oh, AY AY AY-" A snort from the doorway had Eliot stopping mid-wail. To his complete and utter horror, Parker stood watching Eliot in all his nearly naked glory, laughing hysterically. He flushed a dark red until deciding he would have a better result scaring her. Putting on his best you-are-so-dead face, and letting out his throatiest growl, he glared at the blonde thief.
10 minutes later
Nate stood in the now-abandoned doorway, not being able to quite believe the story his eyes were telling him. He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly thought better of it.
"Sophie, Hardison." He whispered to the grifter and hacker talking in the hallway. He motioned for them to join him, putting a finger to his lips. Sophie's mouth hung open, eyes boggled, nostrils flared, eyebrows raised. She looked back from the thief to the hitter, incredulous. Parker and Eliot were screaming along to the Talking Heads song, Parker bobbing up and down, Eliot looking way to serious to actually take seriously. Hardison grinned widely.
"Oh this is too good…" He said quietly.
"PSYCHO KILLER! QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST? FA, FA, FA, FA, FA, FA, FA, FA, FA, FA, BETTER RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN AWAYYYY! Oh, o-oh, o-o-ohhh-" Nate cleared his throat lightly, enough for Parker to spin around wide-eyed, Eliot not far behind her.
"Nate!" She squeaked, looking at Eliot. Eliot looked at Hardison, growling at the techie who decided it would be smart to tape a hitter doing something embarrassing. Hardison blanched as the man stalked towards him, but Nate went between them.
"Alright, alright, hold on you guys." He sighed, shaking his head. Everyone looked at him. "I know how to fix this."
10 minutes of planning later
Sophie came into the room from the hallway, looking directly at the camera on the tripod that Hardison set up. She was dressed in a low-cut, red silk dress. In a husky voice she spoke,
"Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-lá." Nate, in a tux, came up behind Sophie.
"Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-lá." He said, smirking. Parker grinned, stepping out in a blindingly sparkly outfit next to Sophie.
"Réalisant mon espoir." She hurled into the mic. Hardison, in a tux matching Nate's, stepped out next to the thief.
"Je me lance vers la gloire … okay." He said, and all of a sudden Eliot sprung out in front of the team, sliding on his knees until he was in the center.
"YA, YA, YA, YA, YA, YA, YA, YA, YA, YA, YA!" He wailed.
"We are vain, and we are blind!" Hardison and Parker sung in unison.
"I hate people when they're not polite." Nate and Sophie sang. And together, the gang sang,
"Psycho Killer, qu'est-ce que c'est? Fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, better run, run, run, run, run, run, run awayyyyy! Oh, o-oh, oh… Psycho Killer, qu'est-ce que c'est? Fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, better run, run, run, run, run, run, run awayyyyy! Oh, o-oh, o-o-oh! AY, AY, AY, AY, OOOOOH!" Eliot finished with the solo, face furrowed tight in concentration. When the song was over and done with, the team stood in silence for a moment, before Nate finally spoke up.
"I need a drink." He said, shaking his head in amusement and heading downstairs. Eliot followed.
"I'm with you on that." He said, and mutual words of agreement sounded from the group, following Nate down the stairs.