Walking up, I was bored already. Another endless convo where I would have to bear through Jitters talk between Laurel and her boyfriend. This time though, I heard a deep voice. Turning my head, I realize this guy is cute as hell. He sees me but looks away, probably thinking I'm a customer in the back. Once she says goodbye to Oliver, this guy and Laurel talk and he steps out to meet us. We start walking altogether after his shift is over and I take a phone call. Laurel says my name, and he looks at me, but I don't even notice, just tell my dad what's going on. I hear her yell, "What?!" And he waves his face mouthing the word, hot. "Bye Barry," she shouts as we walk to our car.
When we arrive the next time at three in the morning, I have the hugest laugh. Ollie is wearing the tight ass shirt Laurel gave him because he forgot his. Fuckin priceless. Oliver moves around the counter to go smoke a cigarette with Laurel. It's just me and the mystery coffee guy.
"Hey, come over here," he whispers, nodding his head. "I can keep you awake," he has that sly grin, and I bite back a laugh. I don't even remember why I bother driving Laurel around, but when I see his lean figure near mine, I think I could get used to this. "You can keep me awake?" "Order up," His voice slurs with bad intentions and I can't help it, I'm laughing at his stupid pick up whatever while he slides a coffee with three expresso shots filled in it. "If I drink this, I will never sleep again!" "See, it worked," he smiles giving me this intense look before walking away.
When Laurel returns, he steps in between us, long arms outstretched on the table. Finally, he breaks the tension by simply turning his head and gazing at me. I do the same, and we are caught at a standstill. Suddenly he turns around, and goes to help Ollie with the customers. He soon makes me a normal free coffee, and I end up missing the dumb trash can. Of course it's my luck. I lean down to grab the paper ball and straighten up to toss it. As soon as I turn around, he moves quick, too quick, when I know he was looking in my direction checking me out. I give him a break, and walk toward the counter.
"Here," he places the whole zucchini bread on the table, after I've eaten four pieces. "I can't, Barry" He rolls his eyes playfully. "I have two more at home, it's yours." This is bad. He is hot, older, and he cooks! What have I gotten myself into.
Out of the blue, he asks me when I work, since we both work in the same plaza. "Tomorrow, the next day, the day after that..." He shakes his head, "No, what time tomorrow." I smile leaning in closer. "2-8," I answer. "Hm." He says putting more beans in the coffee pot. "What?" I ask. "I'll come visit you." "Yeah I would like that... And I'll get you a quart of New York," he smiles like a kid on christmas. "Oh yeah, now definitely," His eyes shine. I nod, before leaving with my friends.
He makes me flustered. As I'm walking to sunrise, I have to admit I'm addicted. To his lingering eyes, broad shoulders, timid smile, just everything. I see him and get excited, glad he hasn't seen me. At first, I wonder if I should just approach, he moved from the tiny spot on the side. Then I decide to anyway just wait on the side. When he sees me, he grins. "Hey, babe!" He walks over to see me, not aware of my gift. When he stops in front of me I lift it, shaking the bag. His eyes widen, and he has the hugest smile. "Oh my god, I love you!" He shouts, excited now. "Thank you so much," he pulls me in, and I put my arms around his waist. "You're welcome," I whisper, enjoying the feel of his strong torso, but remembering the time. "Do you want a coffee? Or I can bring you one, babe." I shake my head, "I'm all set," I say walking away.
Even weeks later, this starts to become a habitual thing, Laurel and I at jitters for the third shift with the boys. One night, I hear my name being called and make my way outside. They wait for me, and once the hot air hits me I know I'm in trouble. "So this is the Jitters hangout?" "I don't give a shit, it's where I smoke." I nod, leaning on my other foot. Laurel smirks, while turning to kiss Oliver. "So Cisco found out about the quart of ice-cream you two shared..," she starts, and I know I'm in for it for sure. "Oh my god, really," I start walking away, hiding my face. From the month I've been spending with these people, I know everyone at the shop. Cisco is very nosey when it comes to relationships. When I return, she is explaining, "...he says she can hook you guys up." I roll my eyes, stepping closer, gazing at him, "Honey, if I wanted to get with you, I would do it myself." He smiles now, "Hell yeah. The ball is in your court." I can't help but laugh. "You are so corny. That is really how you get girls?" He now laughs, taking a puff nodding. "Always works." Laurel and Oliver go back inside of Jitters. "So hot," he looks me up and down, "sorry I was talking about myself." His face is straight, as he puts a hand on his chest and walks away in a circle. "Cocky," I say cocking my eyebrow. "Ya gotta be..." He smiles. Suddenly nothing really matters. Even if all we ever had is a good friendship, here and now, I know I'd be somewhat lost without him. And just being here with him, makes me feel something. I haven't felt this clear since my mom died. "We gotta go..." I start leaning on the wall. He nods, putting out his cigarette, before walking me back to my car.
"He likes you, you know right." Oliver says against the wall one night at my apartment. Laurel nods, agreeing. "Who?" I ask feeling my pulse quicken. He gives me a "duh" stare, but instead just responds, "Barry." I melt a little inside. He has been comming over to the customer area to clean and restock quite a bit, even when they are already stocked. Instead I roll my eyes and tell them to fuck off. Besides, he has a kid.
"Who cares about age. Listen- he thinks you're cute." That rolls around in my mind, confusing me. "He does?" I ask playing with the seat. "God yes! You really can't tell?" She glimpses over at me, and then turns toward the road. I look out the window again. "His daughter is adorable. Don't you want five kids?" I think about it. "Truly yes, but at 22, Laurel?" She gives me a knowing look, but doesn't respond.
When I walk into work he's standing there on the side, and catches my eye. I walk over to him and hug him close. "Hey, what are you doing here? I don't work till ten minutes." "I came early to Ask if you could come over after work." He starts rubbing my arms now, all the way down to my ass. "Mmm," he mumbles cupping me. I push him backward out of my jobs view. "Barry-" I start and he gives me that million dollar smile. "Fuck," I whisper reaching out to touch him. He pulls me into him, and kisses me, slow, delicious and passionate. He tastes like pumpkin, and fall time, and I find myself leaning in, dragging my hands through his soft hair pulling slightly. He inches away, groaning. "There's more of that later, babe," his expression is full of lust, want, and desire. But not only for my body, but for me, my soul. The way he does this thing with his eyes... Drives me crazy. "Bye," he says reaching out for another kiss before we part.
As I'm leaving I bump into someone. "Sorry I-" he grabs my arm steadying me. "Was waiting for you, babe," he smiles, grabbing my waist.
We don't even make it to the bedroom. We fall to the living room floor, exasperated by each other. He grips my hips, I bite his neck, we fall into each other, helplessly until we are finally connected. It's not as fast as I would like because he changes the tempo desperately slowly, and I find myself lost in his eyes. I'm trying to forget this is one night, I mean he has a family already an ex-wife. We climax, and he slinks down my body before we drift off.
When I wake up, I am more than slightly disoriented. Then last night comes back to me... falling to the floor and the sex. My thighs ache. I lean into him, exhausted. He grins, pulling me on top of him. While he kisses my neck my gaze wanders over to check the time, and forget I'm supposed to be home in 20 minutes. "Shit," I mumble struggling to clasp my bra on. "I like that better off," he whispers, but helps me get the hook in place, wrapping me with his jacket. I give him a look, and he looks worried. "Take the jacket, baby it's cold outside." He laughs singing the last part. I push him away laughing at his corny ass, when he grabs my waist, rolling me on top kissing me. I kiss his lips one last time, before grabbing his hand. "I gotta go," I smile before closing the door behind me.
His eyebrows shoot up when I suggest it, but he doesn't say no.
Which is why I'm against the wall in the supply closet, while our bodies do the work. I couldn't take not being with him this way. He's irresistible, insatiable, and just great at fucking. That's all this is. But when he growls, "Look at me," it feels more intimate. And when he slows pace, kissing my lips, it almost feels loving. I gaze into his eyes and feel my body float into cloud nine.
I'm on top, to his amazement, and it's getting pretty fast paced. His hands tighten against my small waist, and further grip my ass. I smile loving the way we feel together, and he agrees by groaning and further jolting my abdomen. It's times like these I wonder if there even is a real difference of age between us. Because now, in this moment, and every moment I spend with him, together feels right. He tilts my chin to look into his clear light brown eyes, and I lean in to kiss him. I could get used to this.
I spend some nights at his apartment now. Tonight we decide to cook, but he has me between the cut up vegetables. My legs are spread on the counter, and Barry decided to try dessert a little early. "What if your ex wife calls?" He pushes me so my back is against the counter. She has been around often, and I don't want to be around when she is. He disappears between my legs again and I let the worry fade as he glides into me.
I hear the door open and instantly perk up. Barry is disoriented, but I have enough experience to know they are here. "Bear..." I whisper worried. he looks up quickly. "What, baby?" I sit up. Then we hear, "Allen! Where are you?" I run over to the closest bedroom. He tries to make me come out, but she opens the door.
"What are you doing here Linda, phone calls remember?" I hear him ask upset. "Sophia missed you. She wouldn't sleep until you read her a story." He peeks over at me, and I see how he cares about me, but she is his daughter. That will always be first and I want her to be first for him. He waits for me to make a move and I mouth, "Of course." "Let me grab a coat. I will meet her in the car." His ex wife nods. "I miss you Barry..." She leans over touching his arm. I look away, feeling my heart burn. He says something and then I hear footsteps moving.
I start shuffling clothes on. "Hey, you don't sleep with that on," he smiles grabbing me. "I'm going home, Barry." I dislodge his hands. "What, no. Why?" I walk to the bed grabbing my bag. "You used to be married. I will never know what that's like. Especially if I stay with you, you don't want anything serious again." He leans close to me intoxicating me, but I step closer anyway, furious. "You love her. Deep down you know that. I don't want to compete with your daughters mother anymore." Now he starts to get angry, or as upset as he can be. "Just wait, wait." He whispers sliding my bag off my shoulder. "For what? We're too far apart and I'm sick of fighting for us." I lay my head against the cool wall. The horn beeps, I let Laurel borrow my car and she's waiting outside. "Just go. Ill stop by tomorrow to grab my things." "Iris, let me," he stops me with a look but I can't do this. And it was insane to think I ever could. "What time is good? To stop by." "Iris you know you can come here anytime. " "Goodbye Barry."
A month later
Waiting in line my heart skips a beat. Many beats that I consider leaving, but he catches my eye, and I know it's too late. Why does there only have to be one coffee shop in here? They're out of pumpkin, and I wonder what the fuck keeps bringing me back here. This same coffee shop. Back to him. And then he smiles, closing in asking me what I want. If only he knew, right? I look over and Ollie's there, gazing at me sadly before going to the backroom. Now he's alone so there's no way I could ask him to step outside. Not that I have the first idea what to even say. So I ask for vanilla chai instead and walk over to the other side. "Flavor?" He asks peeking over the coffee beans. "Something good," I mumble from my position over the glass on the side. I'm filled with an emptiness, that This was me. One am at a coffee shop pining over someone I could never have, hoping that somehow the pumpkin swirl could just take the pain away, if it was made by him, perhaps at the right time. Just one of these days. But they were out of the flavor, which is probably a sign. He hands me the chai and smiles. A smile that makes me wish that we can work. Maybe not today but eventually. This smile makes me feel safe, wanted, protected. Especially from all these guys who call me mami, or sexually harass me. I match it with my own smile, trying to tell him it will work out. "Bye," I whisper, taking one step. "Drive safe," he finishes and I turn quick, taking sure strides so he won't see my wet eyes.