The Adventures of Roland Puppington
One day, Roland Puppington was walking along with her mates Olly, Kiwi, Popatron, Felicity, Owen Roy, Ethan and Braisted, and her arch enemies Beazer and James. Beazer suddenly exploded. Roland, Olly, Kiwi, Pops and Felicity all cheered, but Owen and Ethan didn't know him and Braisted was too nice. Then James did a backflip into shark infested water. Roland high fived Ethan. No one else particularly cared.
Kiwi randomly turned to Roland and said, "Putting -a at the end of words is chavvy." Felicity screamed and fell over. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, SHE DISCOVERED MY SECRET!". Owen said, "What secret might that be me lad?" and Felicity screamed, "I AM A CHEMO! BUT MAINLY A CHAV! INNIT BLAD!"
Roland punched him several times and kicked him in the balls. Then they pretended to make out for the benefit of passing cars, using the 'thumb trick'. Olly walked away 'disgustedly' while yelling, "You guyyyyyyyyyyys…" in an American sort of way.
All of a sudden, Harry Potter popped up from a pot plant with Jack Wren. Jack loudly declared his love for Pops. She didn't now what to say, so screamed, "MY ARMS LOOK FUCKING ORANGE!". Harry smote Voldy and everyone lived happily ever after.
Or did they?
Because LUNA LOVEGOOD turned up and force fed Owen Roy Gurdyroots. She used a summoning charm on Molly Weasley the evil killing machine, who killed Felicity by crucio'ing his balls, forced Owen Roy never to watch the 'Human Caterpillar' trailer again, made Popatron's arms even more orange, held Kiwi's dog Domino and hamster Cow hostage for 7 seconds by which time Kiwi had died of misery, and took away Braisted's pink bridesmaid's dress plans. She also made Roland Puppington read Gwen/Jack, Zoey/Erik, Rachel/Finn and Meat/Khashoggi fanfics until she went insane and killed herself.
The End.
xxx