I was drowning in a mixture of misery and alcohol. The stresses of my job – my life – smothered me and rendered me unable to breathe. And then you were there, my angel, and you brought me comfort on the coldest and loneliest days.
You raised me from perdition, you have healed me on countless occasions and you brought me back my Sammy. But you have saved me in ways beyond that.
It's the little things. Your cute little face when you don't understand a reference made me smile when little else did. Your presence in the bunker loosened the noose around my neck. The smile that you have only ever given me made me feel special, which a nice difference from the self-deprecating thoughts constantly swirling around in my mind.
We could have been so much more than we were. But I was a scared little boy, afraid to lose the one thing that made it all okay. Now, with my humanity gone and your stolen grace slowly running out, I see that we were never a love story, but we were a tragedy, and the end is just a few pages away. Before it ends, though, I just want tell you that I love you, Cas.