A/N: Yo, yo, diggity dog, yo! I'm here with a tiny, hasty one-shot. Seriously, wrote and edited this in about twenty minutes. So don't be mean, 'cause I actually like this.
Disclaimer: I don't own The Office. I mean, really? Own it? And I'm sitting at a laptop writing fan fiction? You know better, people.
"Hello, everyone, I am Mrs. Pamela Anderson's boss, Michael Scott."
There's a few claps and laughing, while others look around, confused. The majority of the guests have seen some of the documentary and know who Michael is, and of course, he knows it.
"I just wanted to say some things, since I am one of the people responsible, in particular, for bringing Pam and Roy together..." He goes on about hiring Pam and just knowing he'd change her life. Pam's family gets such a kick out of his speech that nobody points out the fact that Pam and Roy were dating before either of them had even heard of Dunder-Mifflin. Pam decides that since she didn't go to high-school with Michael, and the only nicknames of hers he knows were made up by him, it's okay for him to say a few words.
"... and I said, 'Hey! If you two get married, her name will be Pamela Anderson!' But apparently, she didn't care." He forces a laugh that mostly just blows air into the microphone and makes everyone wince a little. "You know what?" he asks, surrendering to the crowd, who is quickly losing interest. "I think I know someone who would just love to make an announcement. He's our very own, tall, skinny, floppy-haired salesman, Jim Halpert!"
Everyone is silent. Not a single word is said as a few people, the few people that don't know, start looking for someone who fits the 'tall, skinny, floppy-haired' description. But others are opening their eyes wide in surprise, whispering to each other and suddenly Pam is looking anywhere but the eyes of her relatives.
Someone, Pam's mom, Michael thinks, stands up and whispers something to him. "Oh! Oh. I guess I haven't seen Jimbo today, have I?" There's a long pause. "Australia, huh?" He's embarrassed, and kind of gets it now, and sits down quietly.
An hour later, he runs into Pam, who's standing in a tiny, secluded area near the bathrooms. "Are you okay, Pam?" he asks. She has black lines running down her cheeks and her eyes are red.
"Yeah," she says. Then she walks out of the bathroom and stays there for what seems like forever. Michael waits. After hearing the sink run and a toilet flush, he doesn't hear anything. Finally, the door creaks open.
When she comes out, he smiles. "Good as new," he says softly and she swallows with a tiny nod, softly smoothing her dress.
I'd say something catchy about reviewing, but so many of you guys don't do it anyways. Fine. Selfishly read and forget about MY needs! Just kidding. But seriously, REVIEW!