this fan fiction does and will have about self harm in it, the first part of this chapter may be triggering if you do it... read if only you can cope. i found this one that i started ages ago but only just found so...
She looked up to check that the door was still locked before she glanced back down at herself. The red standing out against her pale skin as it slid down, from her hips and from her legs as she pressed the blade to the scared skin of her hip, drawing it across she watched with gladness as the blood began to fall. When she felt the pressure leave her chest and felt like she could breathe again she picked up the box of wipes and rubbed the blood stains off her skin before moving to the skink, cleaning the blood from it and the floor. When she was finished you would never know what had happened in there. Checking once more she pulled the dressing gown around her body, making sure the knot was done before she unlocked the door and slipped out to go to the room she'd been given. Shutting the door she pulled the dressing gown off and slid the old shirt she'd been allowed to bring with her before she climbed in bed, she would clean the wounds properly before she went to work the next morning… that was if he let her go to work. Closing her eyes she sighed over what had driven her to cut that night, well early hours of the morning. It was all because of a stupid auction that she was in the problem that she was in at the moment.
The day before
"Come on Kotoko, it'll be fun" Kotoko's long-time friend Jinko moaned
"I don't want to, you just go to buy things, I could go to the shop for that" Kotoko said not bothering to look up from the book she was reading
"Yeah, but they sell things that you can't get in the shops" Satomi, their other friend said
"What? Like a human kidney?" Kotoko snorted while turning a page of her book
"Well, that's what they had on last week" Jinko tapped her chin "I don't think they're going to do that again"
"You're joking right?" at this Kotoko did look up, one eyebrow raised
"No, it's really a black market auction of things but seeing as Satomi's husband got us included it would be rude not to go"
"Fine, if only to shut you up about it. but I refuse to buy a kidney, think of the mess it would make in my bag when I tried to take it home" Kotoko returned to her book
"They wouldn't make you take it home in your handbag they'd put it in something" Jino wrinkled her nose
"But that would take all the fun out of it" Satomi giggled
"We'll pick you up at 6 tonight then, dress pretty" Jino said before she and Satomi stood up and left the hospital café to let Kotoko finish her lunch break before returning to the wards. Not that long after Kotoko left the café to go to the locker room to put her book back. As she left the locker room she saw the back of Naoki Irie walking down one of the corridors, clipboard in hand
"Over grown turnip" Kotoko mutter, for some reason she felt like calling him a turnip, maybe it was the colour of the shirt he was wearing this afternoon, the white on being washed after Kotoko had bumped into him spilling coffee over it
"Still don't like him?" Tomoko giggled as she stopped next to Kotoko, clipboard in hand ready to give to her
"No, ice prince" Kotoko muttered before smiling at her friend
"Mrs Mizuki needs some more pain killers could you do that?" Tomoko smiled "Then check her IV, it needs to come out soon"
"Roger" Kotoko gave a thumbs up before running off to the medicine room
Shutting the front door Kotoko slumped resting her back against it her answer machine showed she had 2 messages but she couldn't bring herself to get up off the floor, a look at her watch made her move though, if she didn't hurry she would miss the beginning of her show, and wouldn't find out why Toru had cheated on Ayame and if the child Shizuka was really his. Pressing the button on the answer machine Kotoko walked to her room, pulling her nurses uniform off as she went
"Kotoko, we'll come for you at 6 don't forget, and dress nice, see you later" Jinko's cheerful voice called out before the next message played
"It's only your dad, are you coming for tea on Sunday still? If you are let me know and I'll make your favourite"
Damn it, she'd forgotten that she was meant to be going out to that stupid black market auction thing with the girls
"Better get dressed and set my program to record for me" Kotoko sighed before flicking the light on in her room, good thing she'd been on an early finish really. Quickly she pulled on her best dress for this, put her hair down and sighed "And I so wanted to watch my program" walking into the living room she set the telly to record for her and sat waiting. She didn't have to wait long before there was a knock at the door. Grabbing her bag she left, locking the door behind her
They walked up to the place, it looked normal enough, plain building but there again they wouldn't want to advertise it would they? That meant no flashing signs "Black market auction here, no police though" giggling at the mental image Kotoko shook her head at the stupidness of it all. She was wasting her time with this.
"I'm just going to go to the loo" Kotoko said once they got in, most of the people working seeming to know Satomi
"Okay, hurry up though, it'll start soon" Jinko said before they left letting Kotoko go to the loo
When she came out though she didn't know where she was meant to go
"Hey" She said to a worker who came over
"Oh it's you, come on, they can't start without you" He said taking her arm and leading her to a room, pushing her in he left making Kotoko wonder what the hell had just happened
"Good you're here" A new voice said and she was took by the arm again and lead through another door… out onto a stage
"And here we have the promised item from last week. A young health girl. Bids start at 5 thousand" The man with a microphone said "5 thousand, 6 thousand, 7 thousand" He pointed to people in the crowd while Kotoko stood stupefied what the hell was happening here! "Big numbers now, do I here 2 million" he let out a laugh and pointed to someone again "2Million, any advances on 2 million? No going once, twice, sold to number 471"
Kotoko blinked, had she really just been sold?!
"Quickly follow me to the room for him" The man who'd brought her on the stage said pulling on her arm again, she was lead down a new corridor to another room and was pushed in, the door shutting behind her.
"Sorry about this" A voice said as the door opened and 2 men came in. Kotoko froze when she saw who the second one was
"I just had to bid on you, you were so cute" The first man said before looking at her and his friend
"You know her Naoki?"
"We work in the same hospital" Naoki Irie, the ice prince, the one that Kotoko had called an overgrown turnip just this morning replied "I don't care if you bid for her but why did you use my number?" He turned to look at the other man
"Wait, I haven't introduced myself, I'm Kinnosuke, but you can call me Kin Chan if you want" He smiled at her
"Kinnosuke, you just cost me 2 million and still not told me why" Naoki scowled
"Like you can't make that much again, you just need to do one operation for them and you'll get that and more" Kin Chan scoffed before turning back to Kotoko with a smile. Before anyone could say something though there came a knock at the door and a man came in
"I'm sorry about this" he smiled flashing his teeth "But there's been a mistake, this wasn't the girl that was to be sold" He shot an apologetic look to Naoki
"What do you mean?" Kin Chan asked sitting down
"Well, one of the workers mistook her for the other girl, something about the hair and thought she as the one" He looked at Kotoko who felt her skin crawl
"So what are you saying?" Kin Chan asked
"Well, we can't get the money you paid back for about 6 months, until then you have ownership of her. We'll give you the money back when we get it" He shot a quick look at Naoki
"Forget it, I'll just keep her, less hassle" He said before walking out of the room, leaving Kotoko, Kin chan and the man there looking after him
"If I hear less hassle again I'm going to show something up his nostril" Kin chan growled standing up and holding a hand out to Kotoko "Come on, we'd better go after him"
As soon as they stepped outside of the room though Kotoko was jumped on
"Kotoko, I'm so sorry" Satomi cried while Jinko hugged her like she was dying
"It's okay" Kotoko said blankly, completely and utterly spaced out
"Kin chan? Then he must have, never mind" Satomi muttered before her eyes sparked and she ran off, dragging Jinko with her shouting for her husband
Kin chan let out a small chuckle as he let the spaced Kotoko out of the building and to Naoki's car, placing her in the back seat he climbed in and they went to Naoki's
"What are you think of?" Kin chan asked once they got in to is house Kotoko still spaced out, the pressure in her chest building and the things coming out of the fog in her mind not the most pleasant
"It will get my mother off my back" Was all that Naoki had to offer about it before he turned to Kotoko, take her to her house and get her things, then bring her back" He turned around and went to his room, closing the door behind him to signal that was all he would say about it.
Turning to Kotoko Kin chan sighed before doing as he'd been told.
The morning light crept into the room where Kotoko lay on the bed, she'd not slept. The thoughts just going round and round in her head.m shaking her head she got up, pulling her nurses uniform on as she got ready for the morning, maybe she had just been dreaming, maybe she still was dreaming. When she looked around her though she knew she wasn't dreaming, this wasn't her room, this wasn't her house. This wasn't her life. Quickly she went through her bag, getting the small medical box that she always carried with her out. Pulling out the cleaning wipes, bandages and plasters she got to work cleaning up her skin and making sure that the wounds wouldn't get infected. Not like the big one that had been on her inside thigh, the scar was still there, showing where it had been. That had been the first time she'd gone too deep. She still remembered being on the bathroom floor, begging it to stop bleeding and promising that she wouldn't do it again. A promise that she'd broken many times since. Once she was satisfied she opened the door and stuck her head out. She could smell food and her stomach rumbled, not having eaten since the lunch break where she'd agreed to go on the stupid thing, it felt like a lifetime ago now. Glaring at her stomach she grabbed her bag and jacket and walked towards the front door only to be stopped
"We need to talk" Naoki said from the table, newspaper in hand, finished breakfast in front of him
"What about?" Kotoko spat
"First, no back chatting" He scowled before turning to face be fully
"I have 3 rules, rule 1, you act like you don't know me at work" he held up a finger
"Gladly" Kotoko smiled narrowing her eyes at him
"Rule 2" Naoki continued ignoring her "You don't tell anyone that you live here"
"Fine by me" Kotoko sighed and shifted her weight
"Rule 3, if you go out you have to tell me where you're going, you can't bring people back either and you have to cook for yourself"
"Is that?" Kotoko sighed at his nod as he went back to his paper "Well then I'm going, I'm going to get something and then go to work" She sniffed shooting him a glare and left, slamming the door behind her as she did.
Quickly she went to a shop and got something to eat, as well as a lot of coffee and a couple of energy drinks before she went to work. Once she got there she found some of the other nurses gathered around her locker
"There you are, is it true?" Tomoko asked looking at her through big eyes
"Is what true?" Kotoko asked
"That you now live with a man, Marina saw you leaving a house with a man and then going back to it. so is it true? Are you living with a man?" Tomoko asked getting close
"Well" Kotoko began then stopped, she couldn't tell them what was going on could she? How could she go. The ice prince has bought me from a black market auction and I now live with him but I'm not meant to tell anyone. "Well" Kotoko began again but was interrupted by a new voice
"If the nurse are finished gossiping I need help with a patient. Nurse Airhara come with me" Naoki said from the doorway
"No fare" someone muttered as Kotoko walked to follow him
"Hateful bastard" She muttered as she walked
"What was rule 1?" Naoki asked turning to face her when they were alone
"Don't tell anyone" Kotoko replied sounding bored
"And yet you were going to" He narrowed his eyes at her
"No I was going to tell them I'm now living with a Mexican hat wearing penguin" She snapped "If that was it piss off" she turned to walk off
"I need a nurse so follow me" He said before going towards one of the wards, Kotoko following him plotting murder