Driving Grandmamma Xavier
Disclaimer: When I saw you in Verona, You sat down I moved over, Pretty people but all I saw was you. And yes it's you I'm rating, Forget that boy you're dating, In my opinion he isn't right for you. And if everything goes as planned, I'll be proud to be your man. I promise to treat you well; Head over heels in love I fell. She likes listening to punk rock!
We all know the story, don't own x-men or the lyrics to the lovely song above. No ELEMENO P came up with that little beaut. But Grandmamma Xavier is mine.
Chapter 1: A Phone Call
The star spun through space, dancing an ancient dance about the galaxy that had not been disturbed for eons. About this glowing orb of light pirouetted its children all playing out their own merry dancing and at one time their own songs too.
The reality was that the star named Sol or more crassly the Sun and the planets that orbited it didn't really do any of these things. No, they were the a by-product of the solar system's worst feature and one of it's redeeming qualities. It was of course life. Or most importantly a form of life, a special sort called Homo sapiens sapiens. So special they were that they lived only on one planet, Earth to be precise and much to the others relief.
Sol spun and the planets pirouetted. The right angles formed between Earth and the Sun and the Sun rose.
It rose upon a gracefully sprawling mansion and more specifically upon one of the sleeping Homo sapiens sapiens inside.
And so Charles Xavier awoke, stretched, scratched and contemplated the very things above.
As he lay there, lazy thoughts swam and twisted in his head. The gentle sounds of morning wafted around him. The quiet birdsong, the far away lowing of cows in the fields nearby and the sounds of Logan's grunts as he brushed his teeth and gargled.
Yes there was peace, but Charles had a nagging thought. It sat back in the shadows of his mind and leered at him.
Go on. Guess what I am. Think about me and remember. I'm some thing you don't want to think about at all. Heh heh heh. But you need to remember, I'm very important.
Charles frowned. It was right, he was sure he didn't want to know, but it was important. It was bad. Wrong. Insidious even. But what the hell was it.
A strange feeling welled up inside of him. It looked at the shadowed thought and trembled. You have to turn on Defcon 4. Please turn on Defcon 4. Oh Lord! Don't just lie there TURN ON DEFCON 4! It broke down into sobs.
Charles rubbed his chin. The night before was coming back to him slowly. He knew that there had been something, something that had shaken him to the core. But what had it been? Then the pressing feeling that wanted him to turn on Defcon 4, something that was only to be used in the direst of circumstances. But what?
His musings were interrupted by the phone by his bed. The light for line one was blinking. Nobody except his closest and most trusted friends had that phone number. He lifted the receiver cautiously.
"Yes?" he said.
"CHARLES! Is That You!" said the Voice.
Charles nearly dropped the phone. Oh no! He thought desperately. Please NO! The bad thought leapt out into the light of his consciousness.
HA HA! It roared. It then did a lewd dance.
"yes." Charles replied with a squeak.
"Well! Are You Not Going To Say Hello?!" commanded the Voice.
"umm…I thought I did…"
"No You Didn't! When Somebody Calls You On The Telephone You Have To Give An Appropriate Greeting! 'Yes' Is Not What One Says When One Answers The Telephone!"
"ok, well I…"
"I Do Not Want One Of Your Excuses Charles! I Want A Proper Response!"
"yes…"
"Not 'Yes' Charles!"
"ahh, hello this is…"
"What Are You Doing?!"
"I'm sorry?"
"Well Boy! Tell Me! You're Not In Bed Still Are You?!'
"…no."
"Oh Yes You Are!" Cried the Voice with glee.
"no I am most certainly not." Replied Charles, pulling the covers up close to his chin.
"Yes You Are! I Can Hear The Covers Rustling! You Know What I Say Charles! Early To Bed And Early To Rise Makes A Man Healthy And Wise!"
"yes gra…"
The Voice interrupted him. "You Weren't Up Late Last Night Were You?!"
"no gra…"
"You Had Better Hope Not!"
Xavier rubbed the back of his head.
"no gra…"
"How Is Your Brother!" said the Voice.
"he is good, gra…"
"Are You Sure! I Want To See Him When I Come! It Has Been Far Too Long! You Boys Never Write To Me! You Don't Even Phone! How Hard Is It To Pick Up The Phone And Call A Lonely Old Lady I Ask You?!" The Voice had an almost plaintive note. Almost.
"well…"
"No! Do Not Even Try To Defend Yourself You Know You Are Wrong! You Should Be Ashamed By Your Behavior! I Hope You Are Not Going To Try And Back Out Of My Visit Either! You Remind Me Of Your Father! That No Account Wastrel!"
The Voice continued on that comment, obviously enjoying every second of the rather one-sided conversation.
Finally it had to pause for a breath.
"I Heard You Are Running An Institution For Youths!" said the Voice.
"yes gra…"
"What Kind Of Institution Is It?! Its Not A Corrective Institution Is It?! Or Is It For The Criminally Mentally Handicapped?!"
Charles was beginning to feel mentally handicapped himself. He always felt like that when she visited. And it was worse when she hadn't come to stay for some time. The next week was not going to be fun. His mind raced, what would she think of all these young mutants running about the place. He put a hand up to his mouth in horror. What would she think of Logan!
"Well What Is It! Those Little Hoodlums Had Better Be Under Control! I Do Not Want My Visit Ruined By Being Murdered In My Bed!"
That was a thought. Decided Xavier. Some of them might just want to do that before the end of the week. Logan would most likely be considered the prime suspect.
Charles muttered a reply.
"Charles For God's Sake Stop Muttering! You Know I Don't Think That You Are In Full Control Of Those Hooligans After All! I Believe You Might Just Well Need Somebody To Come And Help You Put The Fear Of God Into Them As They Say!"
Oh please don't. Charles cringed.
"In Fact I May Just Well Stay Longer If You Have Some Really Tough Ones There!"
"I can reassure you that the students here are not…"
"Is That Another Excuse I Hear?! Charles I Have Read About Your Institute In The Newspapers, And Have Even Seen It On The Television! They All Sound Like Real Little Criminals! They Are Not Using DRUGS Are They!"
"no gra…"
"Are You Really Sure?! You Do Realize That They Are Probably Experts At Lying! Now Enough Chit-Chat I Will Be Arriving In Tomorrow Afternoon And I Expect To Find Everything To My Taste When I Get There!"
"yes gra…"
"Oh And Charles Before I Go I Want My Dear Little Cain To Be There! I Haven't Seen Him For What Seems Like An Age! And When You Answer Me I Expect To Hear You Say 'Grandmamma'! What Ever Did I Do To Deserve A Grandson Like You! Why Can't You Be A Bit More Like Cain I Ask You?! Good Day Charles And Don't Forget What I Told You!"
"yes grandmamma." Said Charles flatly.
The phone went dead.
Charles hung it up. Grandmamma Xavier always seemed to find a way of contacting him. Even unlisted numbers that even operators didn't know about.
He looked about listlessly. And did only what is entirely appropriate when Family Visits from Hell are inevitable.
He fell back onto his bed and screamed.
A high-pitched animal scream of terror and fear.
The planets shook and the Sun wobbled for a moment as the scream travelled out into space.
On a lighter note, an alien army about to invade our humble solar system picked up this scream, turned tail and fled.
Peace descended.
A knock came at Charles' door.
"Come in." rasped Charles weakly.
A dishevelled Logan put a head around the doorway.
"Do ya mind?" he asked.
His face was lathered and he held a razor in one hand. A long clean-cut streak of skin ran up his throat, over his chin and then above his ear.
A bleary eyed Scott pushed the door open. He gave Logan's sideburns a close examination.
"Not a word Shades. Ah still have a razor in my hand." Logan growled.
Scott made a point of not saying anything. He turned to the Professor.
"What was that about?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Charles sighed deeply.
"Grandmamma Xavier is coming to visit!" He chocked.
-------------------------------------------------
Don't you just hate it when that happens! Well I have a lot of crazy ideas for this one, but wouldn't mind a few more to add to the sub-plots so feel free to give suggestions when you review. By the way please do review!
Disclaimer: When I saw you in Verona, You sat down I moved over, Pretty people but all I saw was you. And yes it's you I'm rating, Forget that boy you're dating, In my opinion he isn't right for you. And if everything goes as planned, I'll be proud to be your man. I promise to treat you well; Head over heels in love I fell. She likes listening to punk rock!
We all know the story, don't own x-men or the lyrics to the lovely song above. No ELEMENO P came up with that little beaut. But Grandmamma Xavier is mine.
Chapter 1: A Phone Call
The star spun through space, dancing an ancient dance about the galaxy that had not been disturbed for eons. About this glowing orb of light pirouetted its children all playing out their own merry dancing and at one time their own songs too.
The reality was that the star named Sol or more crassly the Sun and the planets that orbited it didn't really do any of these things. No, they were the a by-product of the solar system's worst feature and one of it's redeeming qualities. It was of course life. Or most importantly a form of life, a special sort called Homo sapiens sapiens. So special they were that they lived only on one planet, Earth to be precise and much to the others relief.
Sol spun and the planets pirouetted. The right angles formed between Earth and the Sun and the Sun rose.
It rose upon a gracefully sprawling mansion and more specifically upon one of the sleeping Homo sapiens sapiens inside.
And so Charles Xavier awoke, stretched, scratched and contemplated the very things above.
As he lay there, lazy thoughts swam and twisted in his head. The gentle sounds of morning wafted around him. The quiet birdsong, the far away lowing of cows in the fields nearby and the sounds of Logan's grunts as he brushed his teeth and gargled.
Yes there was peace, but Charles had a nagging thought. It sat back in the shadows of his mind and leered at him.
Go on. Guess what I am. Think about me and remember. I'm some thing you don't want to think about at all. Heh heh heh. But you need to remember, I'm very important.
Charles frowned. It was right, he was sure he didn't want to know, but it was important. It was bad. Wrong. Insidious even. But what the hell was it.
A strange feeling welled up inside of him. It looked at the shadowed thought and trembled. You have to turn on Defcon 4. Please turn on Defcon 4. Oh Lord! Don't just lie there TURN ON DEFCON 4! It broke down into sobs.
Charles rubbed his chin. The night before was coming back to him slowly. He knew that there had been something, something that had shaken him to the core. But what had it been? Then the pressing feeling that wanted him to turn on Defcon 4, something that was only to be used in the direst of circumstances. But what?
His musings were interrupted by the phone by his bed. The light for line one was blinking. Nobody except his closest and most trusted friends had that phone number. He lifted the receiver cautiously.
"Yes?" he said.
"CHARLES! Is That You!" said the Voice.
Charles nearly dropped the phone. Oh no! He thought desperately. Please NO! The bad thought leapt out into the light of his consciousness.
HA HA! It roared. It then did a lewd dance.
"yes." Charles replied with a squeak.
"Well! Are You Not Going To Say Hello?!" commanded the Voice.
"umm…I thought I did…"
"No You Didn't! When Somebody Calls You On The Telephone You Have To Give An Appropriate Greeting! 'Yes' Is Not What One Says When One Answers The Telephone!"
"ok, well I…"
"I Do Not Want One Of Your Excuses Charles! I Want A Proper Response!"
"yes…"
"Not 'Yes' Charles!"
"ahh, hello this is…"
"What Are You Doing?!"
"I'm sorry?"
"Well Boy! Tell Me! You're Not In Bed Still Are You?!'
"…no."
"Oh Yes You Are!" Cried the Voice with glee.
"no I am most certainly not." Replied Charles, pulling the covers up close to his chin.
"Yes You Are! I Can Hear The Covers Rustling! You Know What I Say Charles! Early To Bed And Early To Rise Makes A Man Healthy And Wise!"
"yes gra…"
The Voice interrupted him. "You Weren't Up Late Last Night Were You?!"
"no gra…"
"You Had Better Hope Not!"
Xavier rubbed the back of his head.
"no gra…"
"How Is Your Brother!" said the Voice.
"he is good, gra…"
"Are You Sure! I Want To See Him When I Come! It Has Been Far Too Long! You Boys Never Write To Me! You Don't Even Phone! How Hard Is It To Pick Up The Phone And Call A Lonely Old Lady I Ask You?!" The Voice had an almost plaintive note. Almost.
"well…"
"No! Do Not Even Try To Defend Yourself You Know You Are Wrong! You Should Be Ashamed By Your Behavior! I Hope You Are Not Going To Try And Back Out Of My Visit Either! You Remind Me Of Your Father! That No Account Wastrel!"
The Voice continued on that comment, obviously enjoying every second of the rather one-sided conversation.
Finally it had to pause for a breath.
"I Heard You Are Running An Institution For Youths!" said the Voice.
"yes gra…"
"What Kind Of Institution Is It?! Its Not A Corrective Institution Is It?! Or Is It For The Criminally Mentally Handicapped?!"
Charles was beginning to feel mentally handicapped himself. He always felt like that when she visited. And it was worse when she hadn't come to stay for some time. The next week was not going to be fun. His mind raced, what would she think of all these young mutants running about the place. He put a hand up to his mouth in horror. What would she think of Logan!
"Well What Is It! Those Little Hoodlums Had Better Be Under Control! I Do Not Want My Visit Ruined By Being Murdered In My Bed!"
That was a thought. Decided Xavier. Some of them might just want to do that before the end of the week. Logan would most likely be considered the prime suspect.
Charles muttered a reply.
"Charles For God's Sake Stop Muttering! You Know I Don't Think That You Are In Full Control Of Those Hooligans After All! I Believe You Might Just Well Need Somebody To Come And Help You Put The Fear Of God Into Them As They Say!"
Oh please don't. Charles cringed.
"In Fact I May Just Well Stay Longer If You Have Some Really Tough Ones There!"
"I can reassure you that the students here are not…"
"Is That Another Excuse I Hear?! Charles I Have Read About Your Institute In The Newspapers, And Have Even Seen It On The Television! They All Sound Like Real Little Criminals! They Are Not Using DRUGS Are They!"
"no gra…"
"Are You Really Sure?! You Do Realize That They Are Probably Experts At Lying! Now Enough Chit-Chat I Will Be Arriving In Tomorrow Afternoon And I Expect To Find Everything To My Taste When I Get There!"
"yes gra…"
"Oh And Charles Before I Go I Want My Dear Little Cain To Be There! I Haven't Seen Him For What Seems Like An Age! And When You Answer Me I Expect To Hear You Say 'Grandmamma'! What Ever Did I Do To Deserve A Grandson Like You! Why Can't You Be A Bit More Like Cain I Ask You?! Good Day Charles And Don't Forget What I Told You!"
"yes grandmamma." Said Charles flatly.
The phone went dead.
Charles hung it up. Grandmamma Xavier always seemed to find a way of contacting him. Even unlisted numbers that even operators didn't know about.
He looked about listlessly. And did only what is entirely appropriate when Family Visits from Hell are inevitable.
He fell back onto his bed and screamed.
A high-pitched animal scream of terror and fear.
The planets shook and the Sun wobbled for a moment as the scream travelled out into space.
On a lighter note, an alien army about to invade our humble solar system picked up this scream, turned tail and fled.
Peace descended.
A knock came at Charles' door.
"Come in." rasped Charles weakly.
A dishevelled Logan put a head around the doorway.
"Do ya mind?" he asked.
His face was lathered and he held a razor in one hand. A long clean-cut streak of skin ran up his throat, over his chin and then above his ear.
A bleary eyed Scott pushed the door open. He gave Logan's sideburns a close examination.
"Not a word Shades. Ah still have a razor in my hand." Logan growled.
Scott made a point of not saying anything. He turned to the Professor.
"What was that about?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Charles sighed deeply.
"Grandmamma Xavier is coming to visit!" He chocked.
-------------------------------------------------
Don't you just hate it when that happens! Well I have a lot of crazy ideas for this one, but wouldn't mind a few more to add to the sub-plots so feel free to give suggestions when you review. By the way please do review!