Hi! This is my first Maid Sama Fic! So bear with me if it doesn't quench your wanting.

Back To December By Taylor Swift

Also, if anyone who is subscribed to me got the email about this new story like 3 times, sorry it's just that something was going on and my story wouldn't show up on fanfiction.

Disclaimer- I don't own the song or back to December.

::back to december::

"You Jerk! Why must you always tease me! STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH! Why can't you understand that I DON'T WANT YOU! " I screamed as loud as I could.

Usui's eyes widened. What had I just done? What had I just said? What had I just ruined?

I saw pain and hurt in his eyes.

He didn't say anything back though, he just walked away.

"Wait Usui I didn't me-"

But he had already left.

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family.
I haven't seen them in a while.

I feel horrible that I hadn't realized it till now. He loved me, and he just wanted to be with me and protect me, but I pushed him away. And hurt him.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.

I still see him around Seika, but we don't really talk anymore. Not that way we used to.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

He was there every time time to catch me when I was about to fall, and in return I broke his heart. Of course he doesn't show it though, or he thinks he doesn't show it. He doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't participate in activities anymore. He doesn't come to Maid Latte anymore either. Why would he though? Why would he want to see my face? I bet its still embedded into his head after that day.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

I'm so sorry Usui. I was just scared. I thought that the feelings I had would go away if I made you go way, but that's not working. Now my feelings are stronger than ever, loud and clear.

These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized that I loved you in the fall.

Maybe I deserve all of this. All of this regret and anger inside of me.

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

I should've told him how I felt. What was I scared of? I can't even tell myself that.

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night -
The first time you ever saw me cry.

I need him. I miss him. I want him, but I don't deserve him.

And when I found him on the roof that day looking at the picture of me and him after he beat me in that game, I decided to tell him how I felt.

He noticed me, but he refused to acknowledge me. I told him I needed to talk to him, and he could pretend to ignore me all he wanted. He was listening and that's all that mattered.

I told him...

"Maybe this is wishful thinking,

Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right."

He interrupted me right after that.

"I don't recall ever telling you I loved you."

His face was sad, and I knew that he didn't want to say that.

"You didn't have to. I didn't know that you did then, but I know now, and I know that it's too late but just hear me out. Please?"

He nodded.

So I said...

"I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December..."

I felt tears at my cheeks. Damn it, this was too much for me, but I couldn't stop myself.

"It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind...

I go back to December all the time."

His green eyes were pouring into mine. He showed no emotion. He walked right past me. He didn't even say anything! I was mad now!

I grabbed his arm.

And once again my eyes were met with his.

I didn't mean to grab him so forcefully.

He looked down at my grip on his arm. He smirked.

"I'm guessing you know what you want now." He said.

"You."

I kissed him fiercely.

I missed this feeling.

I missed his lips.

His Smell.

Him.

But I'm afraid my guilt,regret, and insecurities still take over me.

And even now,

I still go back to December.

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