Title: Dreams and Nightmares
Summary: Loki dreams about the future but is plagued by nightmares of the past.
Characters: Loki, Sigyn, Thor, Sif, Frigga, Fenris, Ikol
Loki glared down at the open book before him but the book remained unimpressed.
"Loki," Sigyn said from somewhere behind him.
"Shhh," Loki replied. "I'm trying to figure this out."
He heard a bit of rustling as Sigyn moved about the room and a moment later felt her hand on his back. She gave him a quick kiss on his cheek.
"Trying to figure what out?" She asked, looking over his shoulder.
"This spell," Loki said, motioning to the book.
"You're still on that?" Sigyn said. "Have you been studying that since I left?"
"It hasn't been that long."
"I left after lunch and now it's almost time for bed."
Loki looked up sharply at that. Sure enough, candles and lamps were lit and the windows were dark. Now that she mentioned it, he vaguely remembered lighting some candles earlier.
"Did you even eat dinner?"
"I-" Loki thought back and realized he probably hadn't. "Maybe?"
Sigyn let out an exasperated sigh. "Loki, it's great that you're dedicated to your studies, but you have to take care of yourself as well."
She spun around on her heels and walked out of the room. Loki began clearing off the desk. Several minutes later she returned with a bowl.
"It's too late for a full meal so you get porridge," Sigyn said, placing the bowl before him. "Eat."
Loki smiled at her as he picked up the bowl. "What would I do without you, my dearest?"
"Starve to death, probably," Sigyn replied.
While he ate, Sigyn looked over the spell he had been studying all day. "Usually when you can't get a spell, you just go back to it when you've learned a bit more. What's got you worked up about this one?"
"It's hard to explain," Loki replied. "I feel like I should be able to do this one. I understand the theory and I should have the skill. But it's like there some sort of mental block. It's quite frustrating."
"I have a theory," Sigyn said cheerfully.
Loki chuckled. "And that is?"
"You're suffering from exhaustion and lack of nourishment," she replied giving him a light smack on his forehead. "You can try again tomorrow. Now finish your porridge and wash up. It's time for bed."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
He couldn't move.
Somebody was holding him down. He pushed up, but whoever it was was much too strong. He tried to kick and punch, but felt hands grab his legs and arms and force them down. A pair of rough hand held his head still so that he was completely immobile. Then he felt stabbing at his lips, over and over. He felt and tasted blood. He tried to scream but his mouth wouldn't open.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Loki woke up with a start. He sat up quickly, his heart racing and his breathing heavy.
"Loki?"
Sigyn's voice made him jump. It took him a few moments to remember that he had stayed the night with her. He felt her hand on his shoulder and turned to her, though he couldn't really see her in the dark
"Are you well?" she asked, concern heavy on her voice.
"I am," Loki replied. He could feel himself calming down. "It was just a nightmare."
"About what?"
Loki didn't really want to discuss it, but when he thought back to the nightmare, he found that he couldn't remember the details. Just vague feelings of pain and fear.
"I can't remember," he said. Loki was no stranger to nightmares. He had had them ever since he had returned. But it had been a while since he had been startled awake by one. He shook his head and laid back down, pulling Sigyn with him. "It doesn't matter. It's over. Let's get back to sleep."
Sigyn settled against him and it wasn't long before she was asleep again. Loki was still too wired to sleep so he tried to remember his dream and why it had such a strong effect on him. But try as he might, he couldn't grasp more than a few vague glimpse and feelings. It was frustrating, but perhaps for the best. It was only a dream, after all.
Pushing those thoughts away, he tried to calm his mind by thinking of more pleasant things. Like the fact that he was currently sharing a bed with the most beautiful, wonderful woman in all of the nine realms. If somebody had told him just a year ago that this would have even been a possibility, he would have laughed in their face and called them mad. In fact, he thought Sigyn mad when she first approached him, especially after he found out how bad their first marriage was. But he had been prepared to do the honorable thing – he figured he owed her that much, at least.
He hadn't expected to fall in love. But fall he did, head over heels, as the Midgardians say, and, wonder of wonders, Sigyn returned his feelings. Now they were betrothed and to Loki the future never looked brighter.
With that pleasant thought, Loki fell right to sleep.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
The next morning, Loki went back to his chambers through the mirror before Asta came in with Sigyn's breakfast. The first time Asta found him in Sigyn's bed, the maid had been inconsolable for days. Once they were married, Asta would just have to deal with it, but until then, Loki thought it would be best to avoid any further drama.
Fenris was curled up on his bed. The wolf lifted his head when he entered. "Heh," he said.
"Not a word, Fenris," Loki replied.
"Third time this week," Fenris said.
"Now, see, that's already four words too many."
"The lady has stamina."
"Don't be vulgar, Fenris!" Loki admonished. "Besides, we've just been sleeping, not that it's any of your business."
"Whatever you say, Dad."
Loki sighed. "Where's Ikol?" He figured the bird would have had a snarky thing or two to say.
"Don't know. Hasn't been around much lately," Fenris replied, jumping off the bed. "Maybe he's been nesting with a nice lady bird of his own." He sat down in front of Loki. "Breakfast."
Loki chuckled and summoned a bowl of meat for Fenris then went about his morning routine. As he washed, he wondered about Ikol. It wasn't the first time that the bird disappeared for a while, but he couldn't help but notice that this time coincided with his announcement of his betrothal to Sigyn. He never really thought of how Ikol might feel about their relationship. Did it upset him or did he even care?
As he finished there was a knock on his door. It was a guard.
"Lord Odin has requested your presence at morning meal," he said.
This was unusual. While Odin still considered Loki his son, they hadn't exactly been on familial terms. When Odin wished to see him, he would summon him to the throne room or his private conference chambers. Either way it was all rather formal. The only meals they ever shared were feast that everybody was invited to.
He had often spent his trips to see Odin trying to figure out what he had done (that Odin had found out about) to warrant Odin's anger. Now he was trying to figure out what he had done to garner his favor. Things started to make a little bit more sense when he arrived to find Frigga waiting for him at the door.
"I shall escort him from here," Frigga told the guard. He bowed and then turned sharply on his heels and walked away.
"Good morning, dear," Frigga said, looking quite motherly.
"Good morning, Mother" Loki greeted. He rarely called her that and it felt a bit odd, but nice. "You were the one who summoned me?"
"It was my idea," Frigga replied. "But your father was not adverse to it. Now, come. He and your brothers are waiting."
"Brothers?"
Frigga lead him into the room. Odin was seated at the head of the table and Loki was unsurprised to see Thor seated to his left. He was surprised to see Balder also at the table. He rarely talked to his other brother and when he did it was usually in a formal setting. He greeted Balder with a nod, which he returned. Frigga went over to her seat at Odin's right and Loki shuffled over to the empty chair beside Thor.
"Good morning, Brother," Thor said cheerfully.
"Good morning, Thor," Loki replied and then in a low voice. "What's going on here?"
Thor just chuckled. "Eat your breakfast," he said.
Loki looked over at Frigga who just gave him an amused smile. Loki resisted the urge to sigh and served himself some food and juice. He figured Odin merely wanted to share a morning meal with his sons and Frigga suggested that he be included. Nothing more to it.
"Well, then" Odin said suddenly. "Now that we're all here, we can discuss the matter of Loki's betrothal feast."
Loki almost choked on his juice. "I'm sorry, my what?"
Thor began chuckling again even Balder was smiling.
"My dear," Frigga said. "A prince of Asgard has become betrothed to a noble lady. It is cause for celebration."
"Oh," was all Loki could think to say. He supposed Frigga was right but he wasn't expecting this at all. He wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't a feast. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"Now, why would you say that?"
Loki frowned. "Do I really have to say?"
"You are not well liked," Odin said bluntly and Loki couldn't help but cringe a bit. "But you are still our son and we wish to celebrate this occasion. Anybody who takes issue with this may discuss it with me."
"I would like to speak to Lady Sigyn," Frigga said. "Would you give her the message to come see me?"
"Yes, ma'am," Loki replied.
"It's settled, then," Odin stated.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Why the long face?" Thor asked later as he and Loki walked together after breakfast.
"Long face?" Loki repeated. "I figured I'd have a confused face. Because that's how I feel right now: confused."
Thor took a second look. "Ah, yes, very confused. But what exactly did you expect?"
"Not this," Loki replied, vaguely gesturing with his hands.
"'This' being?"
Loki tilted his head slightly, thinking and was silent for a bit before answering. "It's hard to explain. Since I've come back, you've pretty much been my only friend and Mother's always been kind to me. But, now, suddenly I have Sigyn, Sif likes me, Father talks to me even when I'm not in trouble and even Balder is acknowledging my existence."
"Isn't this what you wanted? For people to like you. Or at lest to not hate you."
"Well, yes," Loki hesitated. "It just all seems too easy."
Thor let out a laugh. "Too easy?" He stopped Loki and looked around quickly to make sure nobody was in earshot. Even so, he still leaned in close and lowered his voice. "Mother has told me what you've done for The All-Mother and for Asgard these past ten years and what you continued to do. If anything I'd say that it was about time Fate smiled on you for the service that has gone unrecognized."
Loki still looked uncertain so Thor continued. "I never told you how proud I am of you. Despite having so much and so many against you, you've created a new life for yourself. A good life." He took his little brother into a tight embrace. Loki tensed up a bit but Thor didn't release him. "You've earned this and I'm so happy for you."
Thor felt Loki relax and return the hug. "Thank you, Brother."
Thor gave him a pat on the back and released him. "And if it makes you feel better, most of Asgard still hates you."
Loki laughed. "Oddly enough, it does. It means things aren't changing too quickly."
"Change can be hard," Thor said.
Loki nodded. "But change can be good."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
He was fighting for his life.
He couldn't see his enemies, but he knew there were many. Then he felt a familiar sensation in the air. It was charged with power. His power. Though he still couldn't see, he now knew is opponent.
Mjolnir came into sharp focus as it fell upon him.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Loki woke with a gasp and found himself staring into the Fenris' furry face.
"I thought I told you not to wake me if you tried to kill me in my sleep," he told the wolf.
"I wasn't trying to kill you, I was trying to wake you up," Fenris protested as he pulled away. "You were making weird noises."
"In that case, thank you," Loki said as he sat up.
Fenris sat down on the bed looking at Loki expectantly.
"What?" Loki asked.
"Well, aren't you going to tell me what you were dreaming?" Fenris replied. "Wait..." he shook his head. "If you were dreaming about her, I don't want to know the details. Maybe you should just start spending every night with her."
Loki smirked. "You just want the bed to yourself."
"Heh."
Loki rubbed his face and thought back on the dream. He had been in a fight against multiple foes, he knew. But it was all unfocused. He didn't know who he was fighting or why. There was only one thing he remembered clearly.
"Mjolnir," he muttered.
"Eh, I guess that would do it," Fenris said. "Hate to see that thing coming at you."
Loki rolled out of bed with a sigh. He felt tired and achy. The achy part he could explain. Sif had worked him hard that previous day after he made the mistake of telling her he didn't have any plans since Frigga had been monopolizing Sigyn's time preparing for the feast. Though he had pretty much fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, he still felt like he hadn't slept at all. He figured he still hadn't recovered from training, even with a good night's sleep.
Sif was expecting him again this morning. He would just have to plead mercy from the lady.
It turned out that he didn't have to plead at all. Sif frowned at him when he arrived at the practice yards.
"You look terrible," she said. "Did you sleep at all?"
Well, it seemed he looked as badly as he felt. "Yes," Loki replied. "Though I certainly don't feel like it."
"Did you want to sit this one out?"
Loki almost said 'yes'. But he felt bad about bailing on Sif after she took time out of her busy schedule to train him. "Just go easy on me, please, dear Lady Sif," he replied with a smile and a bow.
Sif nodded. "If you insist. Practice swords, though. I don't want to risk live blades in your condition. Tell me if you want to stop."
They took their positions and began sparring. Even though Sif was almost lazily swinging her practice sword, Loki found himself hard pressed to keep up. He had just decided to call it off and let Sif find something better to do with her time when his vision blurred.
When it cleared, he saw Sif standing before him in full battle regalia. She was beautiful and terrible and covered with the blood of her enemies. She stared at him with unmasked hatred in her eyes.
"Traitor. Lie-smith. Abomination," she hissed. "I shall cleave your trickster head from your body!"
She charged at him, her blood-stained sword raised.
Loki's vision blurred again and he felt something hit his head hard and then heard a startled cry as he fell to the ground.
"Loki!"
Sif knelt down beside him. No longer was she in battle gear and instead of hatred there was open concern in her eyes. "What happened? You should have blocked." She pulled his helm off and began gently probing his sore temple. "I'm sorry," she said. "I tried to stop when I realized you weren't paying attention, but I was too far into the swing.
"My fault," Loki's muttered. "I shouldn't have gotten distracted."
"Well, you'll have a bad headache but you'll live." Sif rose to her feet and held out her hand. "Come on. I'm taking you home."
Loki allowed Sif to pull him to his feet. She placed a hand on his shoulder when he wobbled a bit. They didn't speak as she escorted him back to his chambers. Fenris raised his head when they entered but was silent, thankfully.
Sif helped him out of his armor and throughout it all he couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. He just couldn't get the vision of her charging at him, her eyes filled with hatred.
"Are you sure you're well?" Sif asked as she walked to the door. "Should I send a healer?"
"I'll be fine," Loki said. "I think I'm just tired. Thank you for helping me."
Sif didn't look convinced but nodded. "Get some rest," she said and then left.
"You look like something I threw up," Fenris commented.
"I feel like something you digested," Loki replied. His eyes fell on the empty perch by the open window. "Has Ikol returned at all?"
"I haven't seen him for a few days now."
Loki frowned. He wondered if he had said or done something to offend the bird or if he was just off doing whatever it was he did when he disappeared. Well, there was nothing he could do about it.
Loki prepared a hot bath for himself and soaked in it until the water became too cool. He wrapped himself in a soft robe then crawled into his bed and went right to sleep.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
He was kneeling on the ground, looking up at Thor. His brother stood over him, aglow with power and magic and righteous fury.
"You must be punished," Thor said, his voice booming. "You have taken the lives of many brave men. So your punishment shall be to become less than a man."
Thor reached for him with his powerful hand.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Loki! Loki!"
Loki woke up with a start to find Thor looming over him. A sense of dread and fear shot through him and he quickly back away.
"Peace, Brother," Thor said. "It's just me."
Loki felt himself begin to relax when he realized it was just Thor. Thor, his beloved brother – not the vengeful man from his dream. With a weary sigh, he sank back into the bed. Thor leaned in close, placing a large hand on his forehead. The hand that had seemed so horrifying in his dream was a comfort to him now.
"Sif told me that you were not well," Thor said. "I see she was not exaggerating. What ails you, Brother?"
"I don't know," Loki said. He felt the nightmares were a symptom rather than the cause.
"You were having a nightmare?" Thor asked.
"Yes," Loki replied. "But I forgot it." That was a lie, he remembered this one quite well.
"He had one last night, too," Fenris said, jumping up on the bed.
"Fenris," Loki said in a warning tone.
"I had to wake him up," Fenris continued, ignoring him.
Loki closed his eyes and burrowed under the covers, hoping that Thor would just leave without asking a bunch of questions. Though, Loki didn't think it would work.
"Loki? Have you been plagued by nightmares lately?" Thor said.
"I've had nightmares since you bought me back," Loki replied.
"But they've never affected you so," Thor said.
"I don't know if it's because I'm so tired. Lately, they've been quite vivid."
"Perhaps you should talk to Mother," Thor suggested. "Shall I ask her to come see you?"
"No," Loki told him. "I think I'll be fine. I think..." he hesitated, trying to think of something that would ease his brother's mind. "I think it's nerves."
Thor frowned. "Are you having second thoughts about marrying Lady Sigyn."
"No!" Loki protested, sitting up quickly. That proved to be a bad idea as a wave of vertigo hit him. He laid back down. "Never," he continued. "But..."
"Marriage is a big step," Thor finished for him, a slight smile on his face.
"I'm still coming to terms with the fact that she even wants to be around me, much less marry me."
"Why shouldn't she?" Thor said. "You're a good man."
Loki smiled at him. "Thank you, Brother, for giving me this chance."
Thor returned his smile and squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you for not wasting it. Now get some rest."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
He was bound to a hard surface. He felt the iron chains about his wrist and ankles and the cold stone beneath him. Somebody was beside him, above him, wrapped in a hooded cloak. The person held something above him. He pulled on the chains, testing their strength and the person looked down at him and he saw clearly the face.
"Sigyn?"
"I'm sorry, Husband," she said, great sorrow on her face.
She pulled her hands away and he saw clearly the large snake above him. He felt something drip onto his face and he screamed.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"He probably won't be happy with me," Thor said to Sigyn and Lady Frigga. "But I'm worried about him."
Frigga dismissed Sigyn immediately, saying to send for her if needed, and she went straight to Loki's chambers.
Sigyn found Loki asleep and feverish. It wasn't a high fever, but she still laid a cool, damp cloth on his forehead. She decided to let him sleep for the time being and to wake him if he hadn't woken himself by dinner.
"So, what is he keeping from us?" she asked Fenris.
Fenris managed a shrug. "I'm not exactly a confidant."
Sigyn sighed and looked around. Her eyes fell on the empty perch. "Where's the bird?"
"Don't know," Fenris replied. "Hasn't been around."
"Good," Sigyn said. She could not stand being around Ikol since finding out who he truly was. Loki had been extremely apologetic about not telling her. She would be lying if she said she hadn't been upset, but she understood why he had not told anybody. She forgave Loki. She would never forgive that man. She closed the window and felt rather petty doing so, but she couldn't help it. The idea of being around Ikol made her skin crawl.
She fed Fenris and pulled a few books from Loki's bookcase then settled in a plush chair to wait for him to wake up.
At some point, she dozed off and was startled awake by an anguished cry. She leapt to her feet. Loki was writhing around and screaming as if in agony, his hands covering his face. Fenris was already on the bed, pushing at Loki with his large paw, trying to wake him.
"Loki! Loki!" Sigyn called to him as she gripped his shoulders and gently shook him. "Wake up, Loki." She grabbed his hands and pulled them away from his face and Loki woke with a gasp. He was trembling and breathing heavily. He looked at her for a few moments as if he didn't recognized her. Then his eyes focused.
"Sigyn," he gasped out.
"Yes," she replied, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I'm here. You're fine. It was just a dream." She held him until she felt the trembling stop and his breath even out. She pulled back so she could see his face.
"What did you see?" she asked.
"A snake," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was bound an couldn't move. The venom dripped on me."
Sigyn felt a shudder run through her body. It wasn't just a nightmare, it was a memory. One that she shared.
"You were there," Loki continued. "You were there beside me, trying to help me."
"Yes, I was," Sigyn said.
"After everything I put you though, you still stood beside me and you're still with me now."
Sigyn gently stroked Loki's cheek. "I stood by him, because I was his wife," she said. "I'm with you now, because I love you."
She kissed him on his fevered forehead and then again on the lips. She pulled away when she heard an annoyed sounding 'wuff'. Fenris was looking at them over the side of the bed.
"If you two are going to continue, can you let me out?"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Loki woke up feeling better than he had in days. No fever, no achyness, no tiredness and no nightmares. His mind was clear and he actually felt hungry. He was beginning to think that the lie he told his brother wasn't a lie after all. Maybe it really was nerves and the talk with Sigyn had soothed them.
Sigyn had stayed with him that previous evening and was still curled up on his bed, fast asleep. He carefully slipped out of bed so as not to disturb her and ducked behind his screen to wash up and dress.
"You look much better today," Sigyn said when he emerged. She was sitting up in his bed, scratching Fenris' head.
"I feel much better," Loki said, walking over to give her a 'good morning' kiss. "Hungry, too."
Sigyn climbed out of bed. "Give me time to get ready and then come over for breakfast." With that, she slipped through mirror.
The next few days went by in a blur. Loki saw almost nothing of Sigyn as she and Lady Frigga were busy with the feast. Loki spent his days practicing with Sif or studying on his own.
Finally the day of the feast arrived. Sigyn invited him over for breakfast but when he arrived, she gave him a quick kiss as she left to go over some last-minute details with his mother. Instead of attempting to eat under Asta's glare, Loki went back to his chambers and had breakfast brought up. Sif had given him the day off, so he wouldn't arrive at his feast all bruised up, so Loki decided to spend the day studying.
He dropped several books on his desk and one fell open to that spell. Loki hadn't looked at it since that night at Sigyn's. Loki glared at it for a while and then sat down at his desk.
"Challenge accepted," he declared.
He was pulled out of his studies by a heavy knock on the door. "Come in, Thor," he said, unlocking the door with a flick of his wrist and not bothering to look up. He heard the door open and Thor enter.
"What? You're not ready?" Thor said.
"For what?" Loki asked, still not looking up.
"For the feast."
Loki spun around in his chair to look at Thor. He was dressed in his formal armor. "The feast? What time is it?"
"Time to go to your feast."
"He's had his head stuck in that book since breakfast," Fenris said. "He also didn't eat lunch."
"Keep that up Fenris and I won't take you to the feast," Loki said as he began rushing to get ready.
"What's this about you not eating lunch?" Thor said.
"I'll eat plenty at the feast," Loki called back.
"Then what's this about taking Fenris to the feast?"
"Oh, please, brother," Loki said. "He doesn't get out nearly enough and he's getting a bit paunchy."
"You think taking him to a feast will help that?"
"Well, no, but it'll get him out of the room for more than a brief walk. It can't be fun being cooped up in here all day."
"Not fun at all," Fenris said.
Loki heard Thor sigh. "Very well. But the first sign of trouble..."
"I'll send him back," Loki finished up, walking out to present himself. He wore his best formal clothing, including a long, green cloak. "How do I look?"
Thor frowned. "Like a man about to go to his execution," he said. "Cheer up, Loki. It's your betrothal feast."
Loki sighed. "Yes and I will be before a city of people who hate me. Sounds delightful."
Thor smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Just keep your eyes on Lady Sigyn and you'll be fine."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Keeping his eyes on Sigyn was not going to be a problem. If anything he was going to have trouble tearing his eyes away. Loki didn't think it was possible for Sigyn to get any more beautiful, but she somehow managed. She was dressed in a gown of white and gold and her hair was up in an elegant style.
"Oh, don't you clean up nicely," she said, giving him a quick kiss. She then reached down an gave Fenris a quick scratch on his head.
"You look amazing," Loki somehow managed to say.
Sigyn hooked her arm in Loki's and, together with Fenris, they walked to the table. Loki could feel the eyes of the people they passed on them but nobody approached them. Having a large, black wolf at his side probably helped.
After a speech from Odin that Loki didn't hear most of, the feast began. It was a bit reserved at first. After all, most people didn't care to celebrate anything about him. But as the food was good and the mead was plentiful and soon people weren't caring what they were supposed to be celebrating.
Fenris was enjoying himself. Loki had tossed several morsels at him throughout the feast which the wolf caught in mid-air. Several warriors took notice and their mead-addled brains thought it was the most impressive trick ever so they began tossing food at Fenris, too.
Sigyn disappeared from time to time to talk to people. At one point she dragged him over to meet her friends. They treated him kindly and congratulated them. Loki could tell they weren't being entirely sincere, but were playing nice for Sigyn's benefit.
"They'll come around eventually," Sigyn said as the walked back to their places. "They just need to get to know you."
"I don't know if they want to get to know me," Loki replied.
"Don't be so dour," Sigyn said. "Oh, there's Theoric."
Loki couldn't help but make a face. "Who invited him?"
"Everybody was invited," Sigyn pointed out.
"Great, he's coming this way."
"Behave."
Theoric approached them rather hesitantly. "Good evening, Lady Sigyn, Prince Loki," he said stiffly.
"Good evening, Theoric," Sigyn said, more cheerfully.
"I wish to congratulate you," he continued. "I..." he took a deep breath. "I mean that sincerely. I wish for your happiness, Lady Sigyn."
And I can go to Hel, for all he cares, Loki thought, though he was more amused than anything. He figured that would probably be the best he could expect from Theoric. He really couldn't bring himself to be angry or even annoyed with the man. Loki had killed him, after all. Falsely accusing and ignoring him seemed quite minor compared to that.
"I'll just let you two talk," Loki said.
Leaving the two Loki headed back to his seat, only to find his path blocked by Balder.
"Loki," Balder said.
"Balder," Loki replied. "Are you enjoying the feast?"
"Of course," Balder replied. "But I realized I never congratulated you." He gripped Loki's hand and gave it a brisk shake.
Loki was about to thank Balder when his vision blurred. Then he saw Balder deathly pale with blood coming from his mouth. Deeply embedded in his chest was an arrow. Loki jerked back and shook his head, shutting his eyes tightly and pressing his hand to his temple.
"Loki? Are you well?"
Loki opened his eyes and Balder was back to how he was before, alive and well. It was just like the incident with Sif.
"I..." Loki began. "Sorry, I think I just need to get some fresh air." He smiled at Balder. "But, thank you."
Loki made his way out to one of the balconies. There were a few people out there, but when they saw him they quickly headed back inside. For once, Loki didn't mind as he wanted to be alone.
He looked out over the city. It was an amazing sight. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, only to choke on heavy smoke. He opened his eyes to find Asgard in ruins. The city was burning and he could hear the cries of her citizens.
"No!" Loki gasped out, stepping back from the railing. "No, no," he repeated closing his eyes. When he looked again, Asgard was once again whole. On the railing perched a magpie.
"Ikol?"
The magpie didn't reply. He just looked at him.
"What's happening to me?"
"You know where to find that answer," Ikol replied. He then flitted away.
You must look for the answer in the final question.
Those words from so many years ago came back to him. He teleported to the library and searched for the stacks. He found the book quickly enough. The Siege of Asgard. He turned to the end.
"Why did Loki do it?" he read, focusing on the question mark. But nothing happened. He wasn't transported as he had been that time.
"This path has been closed," Loki muttered aloud. "Then how..." That spell. The spell that always seemed to draw him in whenever he studied it.
Without replacing the book, Loki teleported to his chambers. The spell book was still on his desk and still opened to that spell. He looked at it, focusing, and soon found himself falling into blackness.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Fenris was more than a bit perturbed. Loki had left with Sigyn "for a few minutes" but had yet to return. He wasn't terribly concerned for his father, but he wasn't keen on finding out what would happen if Thor found him unsupervised. So he slunk off to a darkened corner and began eying the crowd looking for Loki or Sigyn.
He spotted Loki talking to Balder and began making his way over to them. But before he reached him, Loki headed out to a balcony. Fenris carefully made his way out but when he arrived, Loki was gone. He hadn't come back in, Fenris was sure of that. So either he had jumped or teleported.
"Very nice," Fenris growled as he spun around. He froze when he saw Frigga standing at the entrance. Had she heard him speak?
"Hello," Frigga said to him. "Where is your father, Fenris?"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Loki hit the ground hard. He rose to his knees and found himself before a pillar with a horned helm atop it. Ikol was perched on one of the horns.
"What is the meaning of this, Ikol?" Loki demanded, rising to his feet.
"I am not Ikol," the bird said.
Green fire flared up around him and visage of his former self appeared before him.
"I am Loki."
"And why have you brought me here?"
"I believe you know why."
Loki shuddered. He suspected, but he had hoped he was wrong. "You mean to take my place."
The elder Loki said nothing.
"This was your plan all along wasn't it? But why now?"
"You've managed to work your way into a very advantageous position. Even Odin is beginning to trust you."
"No, I won't let you do this. I've worked too hard to get to where I am just to have you throw it away again."
"Oh, I will not just throw it away. I assure you I will put it to good use."
"To manipulate and scheme against Asgard? Why? Why do you hate Asgard so much?"
"Because they hated me."
"Thor loved you. Frigga loved you. Maybe even Odin, in his own way. Sigyn would have loved you had you not been so horrid to her. But you took that love and twisted it. What I can't understand, what I could never understand, is why? Why did you throw that all away?"
Elder Loki said nothing. For a long while they stood in silence.
"You cannot stop me," he said finally. "You've been weakened by my attacks."
"You're the cause of my nightmares?"
"Not nightmares. Memories. Gradually I planted them in your mind and slowly they ate away at your strength. You cannot resist."
The elder Loki suddenly flew at him. Loki tried to raise a shield but even as he cast the spell, he knew he didn't have enough power to stop him. Yet, suddenly the elder stop and pulled back.
"Hello, Mother," elder Loki said.
Loki looked back over his shoulder. Frigga was standing behind him, her elegant hand outstretched toward him.
"Odin and I loved you as a son," she said to the elder Loki. "Thor loved you as a brother. Yet you caused us naught but heartache. I will not let you destroy my family again and I will not let you have this one. Begone!"
The green fire about them flared up. Then it was gone, as was Loki, the magpie and even the horned helm.
"Are you well, Son?" Frigg asked, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"I think so," Loki replied. He took a deep breath. "This isn't over, is it?"
Frigga shook her head. "I'm afraid not," she replied. "He will no doubt try again. You must be careful and become stronger so you will be able to defend against future attacks."
Loki nodded. "How did you know where I was?"
"Fenris smelled Ikol on the balcony. I knew, then, where I should look."
"You knew about Ikol?" It truly didn't surprise him that she did.
"Yes."
"And Fenris?"
Frigga nodded. "But we can discuss all of this later. Come, we are missing your feast."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"So, he is gone now?" Sigyn asked Loki later as they laid in her bed.
The feast was still going, but they had retried an hour or so ago. Loki had dragged Fenris to his chambers and left him sprawled out and snoring on his bed. He had then joined Sigyn and told her of what had transpired earlier.
"Ikol's gone," Loki replied. "He's still out there."
Sigyn sighed and gave Loki a tight hug. "I wonder if you'll ever be free of him."
"I doubt it," Loki replied "Even if my mother had succeeded in completely banishing him, I'd still have to live with his legacy."
"It's not fair," Sigyn muttered.
"It's not so bad," Loki said. "I have you and Thor and Mother. Sif and even Fenris. Not to mention Miss Jane and Spider-Man on Midgard. If you think about it, I'm quite fortunate."
Sigyn smiled at him. "That's a very positive attitude to have."
"In a way, I'm glad this happened. Experiencing those events made me more determined than ever not to follow down my predecessor's path."
"And I'll be beside you every step of the way. So will your brother and you mother and everybody else you've picked up."
They settled down to sleep and as he drifted off, Loki thought about his life. There was still much to be accomplished. He was still hated and he would have to deal with his former self sooner or later. But it all seemed far less daunting than it had in the past.
To Loki, the future never looked brighter.
Note:
The visions and flashbacks come from various sources (and some I just made up).
1. Loki's wager with the Dwarves
2. Generic Loki vs. The Avengers scenario.
3. The vision of Sif was made up.
4. "You must be punished" - from Thor (1998 series) #84.
5. Loki's punishment of being bound beneath the venomous snake – from Norse Mythology.
6. Balder shot by the mistletoe arrow.
7. Asgard after Siege
You must look for the answer in the final question. - from JiM #622, which lead kid Loki to encounter his former self.