What About Now

This song inspired me to write this….

I DO NOT OWN THE OUTSIDERS! S.E. Hinton does only!

Sodapop's POV

The sun was bright, the clouds crayon white and the grass brilliant green but that couldn't change my attitude. Everything was changing; my family, the gang and even my girlfriend. I was in desperate hope for a miracle or something to clear things up, make things simpler in life.

My girlfriend Carla, who had replaced Sandy many months ago, was changing. I was now 18 and I realized things were somehow…different. Ponyboy was 17 and almost graduating high school. Darry was still working hard and Two bit and Steve, well, they hadn't really changed much. They only thing that concerned me was that they were now shipping and enlisting kids my age to the Vietnam War.

I was scared.

We all were.

"Soda," my girlfriend was telling me one night when we were alone at the house. She held my hand tightly in hers, her hand feeling small in mine, and sighed heavily. "What will happen if you get enlisted? For the war?" she asked steadily but with that shakiness in her voice. I frowned and squeezed her hand.

"I'll have to fight for our country. I'll come out of it. Everything will be fine." I said kissing her forehead and pulling her into a tight hug. Would everything be okay? I just realized how long I had been saying that in the past several years and all the accidents, incidents and bad things that had occurred to our family.

Was it really okay?

I sighed and for the rest of the night we just held each other, feeling safe and sound.

"Soda you got some…mail." Ponyboy's voice trailed off making me and Carla look up. I didn't like the sound of Pony's now deep voice when he sounded like that. It meant bad news and I could only know of certain bad news. Carla's sparkling green eyes shaded with worryness and fogged up. I took the letter gently from Pony's hand and opened it up, reading,

Dear Mr. Curtis,

You are here to be enlisted in the army and to report to the Tulsa Train Station July 16th at 8 am Saturday morning.

Sincerely,

General Cosak

My breathing was harsh and tears swallowed my eyes and slid down my cheeks. I was crying and finally letting it all out. My friends, family and girlfriend would be all left behind. Only to fight in war.

Was it worth it?

Maybe so.

"Soda," Pony's voice croaked and I looked up at Pony and swallowed him in a hug, and he hugged me back his head burying into my shoulder. And at that moment it felt like the end of my world, right then and there.

July 16th came quicker than necessary. Carla was already crying as we got out to the train station and we were gathering for goodbyes. Steve had enlisted into the army as well. He told me he couldn't leave me so he was going to join me. It was time to leave my family, my girlfriend. But I had the feeling I would see them again, hopefully.

"Soda please be careful out there." Carla said to me after I said a heartbreaking good bye to Darry and Ponyboy, who was quietly crying next to Darry. I weakly smiled and pulled her in an embracing hug and kissed her head then leaned down and kissed her passionately.

"I promise I will be careful." I said with a weak smile. Carla smiled and kissed me one last time before the train whistled and I hopped aboard and waved good bye to my family, hoping it wasn't the last time I'd see them again…