Yeah this is utter rubbish and I'm sorry about that. But I wanted to post it because I couldn't get the idea out of my head. It's not all original but I hope you like it. Anyway if it's really terrible I'll delete it but please give constructive critism instead of 'this is so crap I want to die' cause that doesn't help. Anyways... This is my first fic so be gentle with me.
OTH doesn't belong to me, I'm afraid.
Oh, and the song lyrics are The Beatles' All Things Must Pass
Darkness only stays at nighttime,
in the morning it will fade away.
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time.
It's not always going to be this grey.
Brooke Davis didn't usually get scared.
The time she was 8 and she'd been left alone in the house after her mum had to 'pop out' (she wasn't there when she woke up the next morning) and the rain turned into a storm and the power turned off? She spent the whole time in her bedroom listening to the wind and the thunder but she wasn't scared. Just curious.
The time when she was 10 and was sitting outside the principal's office (after Kieran Jones told her she was a poo head and she punched him) waiting for her to be called into his room and be sentenced to two weeks detention? She spent the whole time thinking of mean nicknames to call stupid Kieran James and didn't even care that she'd have a big lecture from her mother because 'that wasn't how girls behaved'.
The time when she was 12 and had been dared to run around the garden naked or she'd be officially called a scaredy cat and told that she couldn't go to Sophie's sleepovers ever again (she was really pretty and 2 whole years older than Brooke)? She was fine stripping down because, hey, they're all the same, pretty much.
The time when she was 14 and standing on top of a bridge with Peyton overlooking the water, when they were on holiday with her dad and decided that they should jump before the end of the holiday? She didn't even batter an eyelid and told Peyton to stop being such a wuss and close her eyes because she wouldn't let anything happen to her.
Brooke Davies was many things but she wasn't scared. Well, not usually.
The one thing she was scared of was love.
And she knows that sounds stupid because, come on, lots of people spend their lives searching for it. But she was scared because she knew that if she fell in love she'd become weak. She'd depend on someone else and trust them not to break her. Brooke hated to be weak. She was strong. She'd been through a lot but she'd always managed to make it through. But she didn't know if she'd make it out the other side if she fell in love. She didn't know what could happen. And that was why she was scared of love. She'd told this all to Peyton when they were 13 and laying out in sleeping bags in Peyton's back yard looking at the sky. That was the night she'd vowed never to fall in love.
She promised herself not to fall in love because one day they'd leave her or their love would turn sour and instead of love poems it'd turn to bitter yelling. But with things like love you can't just decide that you're never going to fall, because you can at any moment. She fell in love with Lucas and despite the fact that he was the last person on Earth she could ever think to love, she did. Because love is often found in the most unlikely places. You can't exactly plan who you'll fall in love with.
But she'd predicted right. Just like she'd said to Peyton that night when they were 13. He'd left her. She'd been expecting it, really, because she knew from the beginning she wasn't good enough for him. He was kind and loving. She was a bitch. But despite the fact she'd expected him to realise he was better than her, she was also shocked that he'd left her (and cheated on her) because he was just so damn nice.
But hey, things can always take an abrupt turn.
She sat on the beach, cross legged, as she watched the sun sink into the sea. The sky was a peachy colour that reminded her of the cocktail Rachel had made her once that resulted in her vomiting the rest of the night while Rachel was convinced she'd only added a tiny amount of alcohol and that Brooke just wasn't 'able to handle the drinks like her'. She sighed deeply. She was leaving for LA tomorrow with Peyton and as much as she wanted a change of scenery (and preferably a change of people. She loved Naley and the gang, but she couldn't handle Lucas making 'lovey dovey eyes', as Rachel called it, at Peyton.)
The sky was turning darker, the peach fading into a grey and then into black. She had no idea how long she'd been sitting there. It could of only been half an hour, it could of been half a day. Her little denim frayed shorts were rising dangerously high so you could almost see her light pink lace panties underneath, as they'd progressively slid up her legs as she'd sat down. Her old fayed grey tank top was now a little too small for her so it lay tight against her skin. She was sitting on her navy hooded jumper so as to not get her bottom all sandy. It hadn't worked, the wind has appeared and blew sand straight at her. She didn't care though. It was nice to get out into the fresh air.
She sat back so her hands were on the sand and her legs were stretched out in front. She looked up at the dark sky, where little stars were surfacing. She smiled a little and then glanced out at the sea, where the large moon was dancing on the surface. She heard an inhale of breath from behind her, shocking her out of her own little world. She turned to the voice and noticed the one person she didn't want to see right now. Lucas.
He came down and sat beside her, about 35 centimetres away from her and she was thankful for the distance. He mirrored her position, arms behind with legs in front. She recoiled, bringing her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She looked at the sea just so she would have to see him because she knew her breath would hitch and her heart would pound, that'd just make her remember how she wasn't over him and he was over her.
"Brooke," He whispered quietly after a few moments of silence. His voice was so soft that she nearly didn't hear him, but the wind carried it to her.
She stole a glance at him and raised her eyebrows, "Yeah?" She asked as she then looked up at the sky.
He paused because he didn't quite know what to say, it'd been a while since the two of them had properly been alone and he was slightly uncomfortable, "Why did you really break up with me?"
"Pardon," She turns to look at him in shock because she doesn't know whether she properly heard him right.
"Why did you break up with me?" He repeats and she sighs because she knew this would come up eventually.
"I was scared. I knew you loved Peyton and I couldn't watch you go running off to see her behind my back," She answered honestly, because it was one of the reasons. Probably the main reason.
"I wouldn't do that to you," He was kind of hurt she'd think that but then again, he did deserve that. She swallowed hard, trying to push aside the fact he didn't deny to being in love with Peyton.
"I know. But I was still scared. I've always been scared of love. Ever since I was little. And the fact is, I didn't really want to fall in love at all. But I did and it felt better than I expected. Then you cheated on me and I was broken. It was like I'd always thought... I always knew that love ended up hurting people. But I loved you so much that I gave you another chance and I was just scared you'd do it again. I mean, I didn't trust you. Not fully. But even so, I didn't expect you to cheat on me. I was just scared you would because I was never good enough for you and she always was," She told him and he looked at her sadly because she'd always been enough and he hated himself for making her feel like she wasn't.
"I loved you more than anything. I wouldn't do that to you. It wasn't you who wasn't good enough for me, it was me who wasn't good enough for you. I was wrong. I wasn't the guy for you. I wasn't the guy for you because you deserved so much more," He said and she smiled at the fact he was trying to make her feel better.
"Thank you," She replies because she doesn't really know what to say.
"Anytime," He nods although he doesn't know what he's saying it to, he's quiet for a moment before saying, "But you didn't need to be scared."
"I just wanted to protect myself. It's what I've always done. I'm not scared of a lot of things because I can protect myself from most things. But no one can protect themselves against love and that makes me feel weak and scared," She says and after that it goes silent for a few minutes as they both think about things. Lucas was the first to break the silence.
"Brooke?" He calls out softly and her head turns to look at him and she nods to him to go on before looking back at the sea as he speaks, "Do you regret anything?"
"What?" Her head snapped to him once more because she wasn't exactly sure on what he'd say to her but she wasn't expecting that.
"With us, do you regret anything?" He'd found himself thinking about the two of them a lot recently. He didn't know why, maybe because she would be leaving soon. But he knew that the only thing he regretted with them was not fighting for her harder. Because maybe they weren't meant to be, but he knew for certain that they could of had a little more time together. Their relationship had been cut too short.
"I don't know, Lucas. I mean, I guess I regret jumping into a relationship when I knew I couldn't trust you. I mean, I loved you, I really did. But I still didn't trust you and Peyton. When we first started dating and you went with Peyton to find Ellie with her... I was so scared something would happen. I know it sound bad, because we didn't have that much time together anyway and I regret jumping in so fast. But I think that if we took it slower then maybe I could of learned to trust you, and maybe we could of lasted longer," She shrugged a shoulder because she had so much she wanted to say on the matter but she knew that even if they had all night she still wouldn't be able to say everything.
"I'm sorry. About everything with Peyton," He told her and she nodded because he was a good person and even if he wasn't ever madly in love with her, he'd never do anything to hurt her on purpose.
"I know you are," She answered and shot him a little smile. She folded her arms across her chest as she shuffled off her jacket and into the sand to pull it over her head to protect her from the cold. She then crossed her legs again and placed her hands on her knees.
"I really did love you, y'know?" He says quietly after a few seconds of silence, except for the waves crashing against the rocks.
"Does it matter anymore?" She replies and it's more because it hurts hearing him say it in past tense and she just wants to move past the topic.
"Of course it does. It all matters. You meant everything to me. It's just fate wasn't on our side. Everyone says that I was always meant to end up with Peyton, but that isn't true. It could of been us. I never loved her anymore than you. Everyone talks about mine and Peyton's amazing love story, but ours was equally as amazing. Don't ever doubt that. I really did love you. It was just the fact that our relationship was at the wrong place, wrong time. We just weren't meant to be at that time. Maybe if we'd waited it would have worked. But I did love you. So much," Lucas looks at her for the first time that night. Her hair's pulled back into a messy bun and strands of hair are blowing into her face from the wind.
"Love was never our problem. It was simply that I never fully trusted you and you could never fully let go of Peyton," A small smile is playing at the corner of her mouth, because she's okay to talk about him and Peyton now and she feels good about that. She'll never fully be over him, but at least it doesn't hurt so much.
"What do you mean?" His eyebrows raise in a questioning way and she shrugs her little shoulders.
"You couldn't let go of her. You always loved her, deep down you did, all throughout our relationship. The fact you'd do anything to save her showed that. You'd do anything for her and that included not letting go because she didn't want you to and neither did you. Deep down you knew that there wasn't any point in letting her go because you'd end up together in the end. You couldn't forget her, even if I wanted you to," She takes a big deep breath in and then exhales.
"I regretted something too," He tells her because he doesn't really know what to say to her statement, "I regret not fighting for you hard enough."
"There's no point in fighting a losing battle, Luke," She responds as she starts to get up, dusting sand from her shorts. She slips on her flip flops and looks down at him, smiling, "Don't have regrets, Luke. I try not to. We're where we want to be and we're happy. Stop living in the past and thinking about what could be. We may have not worked out, and maybe we made a few mistakes because maybe we could have lasted longer. But that's okay, because we're happy and that's all that matters."
"Are you happy?" He looks at her and she smiles wider.
"I'm happy," And she is, even if she's leaving out the detail that she was happier with him.
"Then so am I," He smiles back at her and gets up, too. He pulls her into a hug, that barely lasts a few seconds and they both feel slightly sad that it ended up like this, even if Brooke's saying 'no regrets' and 'just be happy', "I'll see you soon, Davis."
"You too, Scott," She laughs and makes her way up the beach, stopping at the top, "Remember what I said."
"I will," He nods at her and she starts to turn back around to walk back down the road to her car, "Call me from LA every single day. Don't forget," He yells after her and she hears her yell back an 'I can't count on anything. I might be flirting with the hot life guards'. But they both know she will.
And in that moment they both got what they needed. Closure. Because they knew that it didn't matter whether they were together or not, because they had each other in one another's life and that was all that mattered. They'd save each other no matter what and for now that was okay. Maybe things would develop into something more in the future, maybe not. But this was what they needed now and that was okay.