Woot, I'm back. I have decided to take a break from Nodame since the current chapters are seriously bumming me out. Updates will be slow since I'm in college and it takes up most of my time.

That's all I want to say at the moment. Read on, please!

Ashitaka felt he saw far too many moons rise above the majestic mountains and many suns born out of the far horizon by himself. He felt that the uneasiness in him had yet to pass, much less recuperate. He wandered far from his home and the arms of the one he longed for but he had made up his mind long ago. He would not go back to her until he was certain he was strong enough, mentally and emotionally. He had lived in many places and slept within many warm, hospitable homes and had gotten kicked out of rowdy bars with the stale smell of sake and vomit. Too long had he been looking for a place to rest his head and to his surprise he found himself most comfortable in the soft green grass underneath the tallest tree he could find.

That's where he lay now; his eyes gazing through the foliage of the leaves and the silkworms around him. He breathed in the fresh summer scent and allowed it to fill his lungs entirely. He closed his eyes and let his mind wonder off; to happier places perhaps, to places within his mind where he felt truly content. He thought, rather sheepishly, that the tree smelled of her or rather she smelled of the tree. The sun was slowly setting, the moon anxiously rising to meet its partner somewhere off where the world seemed to begin and end at the same time. He knew that was his cue to rise and find shelter. The wind was heavy and filled with humidity which only meant one thing.

Rain was coming to wash away the dirty and replace it with the new. A smile crept on his face. When he thought of rain, he thought of other things—things he really should not think of at the moment. But those memories—oh those memories of her sigh, of her moans, her nails scratching down his back…well, those memories kept him sane enough to keep going. He wasn't in search for himself out of selfishness. He did it for her. He would never forgive himself if he lost control around her again or worse, if he lost control at her.

Walking with Yakuru along side him, he made his way to the nearest village. Already, the smell was thick and corrupted. Grimacing slightly, he made his way through the crowded alleys in search for a good enough place to spend the night. He was out of money by now so he depended on the kindness of strangers to help him. Thankfully, so far the women of the villages where he resided had all taken to his looks and fed him as well as gave him a place to stay. He could manage with Yakuru but he didn't know how longer he could last; he still had not found the peace of mind he had been searching for so long and thus his quest could not stop. Not yet.

Thankfully, his eyes wandered to a small pub that unfortunately for him smelled cheap and disgusting. This would be the only place he could get a cheap if not free stay for at least the night. He headed in, immediately catching the eye of the women working there. He asked one of the younger females who was in charge and with a nod and a blush, she led him to a large, beefy looking woman. She was taller than him by a couple of inches and her size was rather intimidating but Ashitaka could tell, by the gentle look on her face as she stared down on him, that she was a gentle soul. She agreed to let him stay in an empty room (and house Yakuru with the smaller animals she had in the back) if he helped around the business for the next two days. He agreed happily and followed her upstairs.

"We don't get too many foreign travelers," she commented lightly, a hint of curiosity in her voice, "especially with a beautiful elk such as yours."

He didn't reply back but instead gently agreed. She took the hint and changed the topic.

"This used to be my son's room," she started again as she opened the door and showed him inside. Her voice was deep but motherly, almost comforting. "If you're hungry or need anything, just tell me," she chuckled, her eyes remaining on him from underneath his doorway as Ashitaka looked around, "You don't look anything like my son except for your eyes. Deep and honest."

Ashitaka bowed his head in thanks. She smiled once more and left the room. A simple futon was in one corner and a dresser on the other side. The room was small but the window let a lot of air in. Not a bad place to stay, Ashitaka thought. He had resided in worse. For tonight he would rest and help tomorrow for sure. He glanced at Yakuru some distance under his window happily snoring away and decided it was time for him to do the same. With a heavy sigh, he deposited his weary head on the futon and fell fast asleep.

The blood pulsated beneath his skin. His skin was red and glossy with sweat. He could hear himself breathing hard and he could feel the sweat drops down his back, down his face, and across his body. Anger flowed as naturally throughout him as his blood. His arm ached something vicious. It acted as a separate entity from his body, seeking what Ashitaka couldn't give. He felt the mark spread quickly, not just through his flesh but inside of him, making him feel cold, weak. His heart seemed to want to jump out of his chest; his brain had stopped cooperating with him. Panicked, he reached out heedlessly but nothing or no one came to help. As if it was some beast, the feeling held on to him for as long as possible, making him wiggle and squirm in unnatural ways. He grunted and tried to scream but there seemed to be something stuck in his throat, like a murderous hand wrapped around his neck. He started to whimper—it was too much for him—when his eyes began to burn. A light shone its way through the muggy fog around him. It was warm and ardent in its feel. Smelling the pines of old trees, Ashitaka made his way as best he could toward it—hoping, longing to reach it…

Just as suddenly as the dream began, it ended. His eyes naturally opened against the blaring sunlight that decided to hit him straight on his face. With the window open, the scent of grass and the scent of summer brought him back to reality. Using the back of his hand, he wiped the sticky sweat off his forehead and sighed deeply. He rose to his feet but they were too weak to maintain him to he fell back down. Shaken, he waited a few minutes before trying again.

The dream…it came too naturally nowadays. Almost every night, he would find himself in a blanket of sweat and his heart pounding in his chest. At first he thought it was just his mind's way to deal with the incontrollable anger flowing through his veins but he soon realized he felt inexplicably restless. He felt he needed something in his life to release the energy building in him. He needed a good reason to use these emotions but so far he had come away empty handed.

Deciding to start the day early, he excused himself to the kind woman waiting downstairs for him as he made his way to the small river a bit farther away from town. He didn't feel like using the stalls by the animal herd to wash himself. He needed some time alone to clear his head before starting the day. He soaked himself by the river (which wasn't as grand as the one back home, he realized) and let whatever impurities he had in his body and mind melt away. With the sun high in the sky, he made his way back, feeling a lot lighter than previously.

Though the town was small, the people bustled with energy to and from where they needed to be. The laughter of children sparked through the air, the arguing of elders by the market crackled through the sunlight, and the smell of every day life made Ashitaka feel more and more alive. By the end of the day, he had worked himself into a good sweat, doing the necessary jobs of a man. The kind woman was more like a hero to Ashitaka as the day went by. She was unmarried but had a son who was away at the moment. He was a soldier and spent most of his time fighting for the good cause though as the woman replied, "I don't even think he knows what the good cause is." Working at a pub, no matter how small, was a harsh feat. He wondered how she did it every day without fail when he was already worn out. He guessed, when life gave you no more choices, one had to do what he had to do.

That night, he helped with the bar, taking orders and putting horny, drunk men in the place. There were a few young girls working there that reminded him too much of his own sisters from his village. He hadn't thought about his village in some time; at least, not as seriously as he had done lately. He found that he really didn't want to. Too many complications, he decided.

The bar was relatively quiet by now. He spent his time cleaning the tables and moving some barrels from outside. But even from outside, he could hear the small commotion now stirring from inside the pub. He finished what he needed to do quickly and made his way inside, only to run into a small girl who worked alongside him.

"Ashitaka, there's a girl making trouble in there."

Ashitaka burrowed his brow and nodded as she pulled him inside.

"She keeps asking for some men to go help her fight some war," the young girl continued, her voice shaking with fright, "But the men got upset at her and started harassing her."

Ashitaka entered the pub and quickly spotted the girl. Quite shorter than him, she struggled against the men who had enough of her and were now trying to assault her. Ashitaka quickly stepped in, apologizing quickly and took her roughly by her arm, pulling her away.

"No!" the girl cried, "We need some help—don't you understand?!"

She sobbed as he brought her out, her brown, matter hair flying wildly around her. Her small, blue kimono was dirty and ripped, her leggings damp, and her face covered with soot. She looked truly pathetic as she collapsed unto the ground, sobbing relentlessly. Ashitaka kneeled and looked at her sympathetically.

"Why do you need men to fight?" he asked her gently but he didn't know what to do with her. He was merely buying some time until the landlady came out and told him where to take her.

"My town," she hiccupped, her tears dropping like rain unto the ground, "We're all going to die. Since he left, things have gone so bad…"

She was inconsolable by now, muttering over and over how much she missed him, looking down on her ground as if to find him there.

"Who?" he asked her, reaching for her hand. She stared at it, his larger, cleaner hand overwhelming hers. Teary eyed, she finally looked up to meet Ashitaka's blue eyes reflecting her own. She gasped, her hand flying to her chapped lips. His eyes too became wide as saucers and he almost lost his balance and fell on the floor. The girl yelled out his name and threw herself on top of him, sending him toppling backwards as she continued to say his name between the loud howls of her crying. For his clouded and confused mind, he could only whisper a name he had not thought of for almost three years.

"Kaya."

Japanese pronunciation is Yakuru. (English is Yakuul) Difference...I don't see a big one.

For those who haven't read the spicy "Merging" which took place between chapter 10 and 11 of Sympatric, I suggest you do (unless you're under the age of 18 which then I urge you to use your imagination since it is rated M) so you find out what sort of pervy stuff Ashitaka is thinking about. Fufufufu….