The Worst Makeover Ever
Authors note: This is my theory of why Cloud runs away from Tifa in kingdom hearts. No, I wasn't on crack when I wrote this. I'm just naturally insane.
Some time before fighting sephiroth
Cloud was walking along the outskirts of Radiant Garden when he saw Tifa. He immediately panicked and flew the other way as fast as he could. He was terrified of her. He could still remember that night three years ago like it was yesterday.
Three years earlier during Advent Children
Cloud was praised as a hero. He saved the world from sephiroth, and saved the world AGAIN from an evil dude. But for one day, he was the laughingstock of the entire planet. He even heard Aeris and Zack laughing in his mind.
On this fateful day, Cloud needed a haircut. This only happened one other time in his life, and it was humiliating. The barber laughed for forty minutes straight before he agreed to cut his hair. If anyone saw him like this again…he would shove the buster sword right through his chest. And who would help him with his hairdo conundrum but Tifa Lockheart. She told him that she has been cutting peoples hair for years. This wasn't true, of course, but Cloud was so desperate he wasn't thinking straight.
Suddenly, from the shadows, Yuffie used a manipulate materia to control Tifa to give Cloud the worst makeover ever. They made his hair into an afro, and put a pink bow on top. Then Yuffie made Tifa knock Cloud unconscious, and take him back to her room. She put Cloud in a pink dress, pink flip flops, and painted his fingernail and toenails pink. Then she snuck him back to his own room and left him there to sleep. Yuffie then knocked Tifa unconscious in her room and left.
The Next Day
Cloud got up, feeling a headache. "What the heck happened to me?" he thought as he got up. He didn't bother to look in a mirror, and went outside, where everyone in the city was watching, thanks to an anonymous tip from Yuffie. As soon as they saw him, everyone burst out laughing, and the camera people filmed it on national television.
When Cloud looked down at his feet, he realized he was wearing flip flops. He then realized the rest, and screamed in agony. He reached for the buster sword on his back, and ran over to Tifa. He hit her over the head with…a rubber chicken. Tifa had no memory of this makeover, and punched Cloud in the face. He flew back into his building, and hid there for the rest of the day. Every time Tifa tried to apologize, he just ran away. That's the whole reason he teleported away to fight sephiroth: to get away from her.
Current day after teleporting with Sephiroth
Cloud and Sephiroth were lying on the beach, sipping smoothies. "Sephiroth old buddy old pal, I can't thank you enough for this. You get me away from Tifa AND get me to a beach? You're the best friend a dude could ask for." he said.
"No problem. A toast to being rid of Tifa!" Sephiroth yelled. "HOOOOORAAAAAYYYY!" everyone on the beach screamed. And this is where Cloud is now.