She stares at the purple crystal in her hand. She wonders if she would feel anything if she tries to crush that gem in her hand. She balls her hand into a fist and starts squeezing. She closes her eyes and without warning, images flash in her mind.
"Yo Homu! Chill for a second will ya?"
"Would you like to come over for tea Akemi-san?"
"Hey Transfer student! Why don't you ever tell us anything?"
"You're my friend Homura-chan, please let us help you."
Seeing those pink eyes is too much and she forces her eyes open. "Why won't you let me just die!?" Homura screams out, tears forming in her eyes. "What is the point when you wouldn't listen and made me watch you die again and again!?"
Quickly, she puts her soul gem down onto the bedside table, picking up the gun she had sitting there for cleaning and turns it, the hilt facing the table. She lifts it up, intending to use it as a hammer-
"Ya know Hom, thanks for letting me stay here. It's been ages since I've lived anywhere."
"I always wanted to have a magical girl team. Thank you for accepting Akemi-san."
"You still seem weird to me, but you saved Madoka, so thanks Transfer Student."
"Homura-chan, stop trying to do everything by yourself. We're here to help."
It felt like the energy had been sucked out of her, she drops the gun onto the floor and falls onto her knees. "I can't do it. Why...WHY CAN'T I DO IT!?" She screams in frustration, those same tears now running freely down her eyes.
She mentally scolds herself for being weak. After a few moments, she looks up at the gem. "I said I would save you." She chokes out. "I promised I would go back again and again. And if it's for you…. I would do it forever. Forgive me Madoka." and with that, she wipes her face and transforms, putting her soul gem back in its place. She looks around her apartment one last time and places her hand on her shield. "See you soon Madoka... My one and only friend."
A/N: Ehhh... just a short one shot. Not the best written work so please, no flames. However, constructive criticism is always welcome.