AN: This is slightly AU as the final moments of 3x09 never happen, so Joss was never gunned down, also there is no Decima/Samaritan as that doesn't happen in mine. Thanks to Elaine for putting up with me and randomly sending you things like this lol. But I just had to write this out or the plot bunny would have ripped me apart. They can be vicious!

This chapter is in Carter's POV.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Her date ended early. Joss was trying to get back to some semblance of a life, one that she hadn't had since HR had taken her career from her. She had spent every waking moment trying to bring them down and now that she had, it was time to get back to living her life. She got justice for Cal, for herself, and for anyone that HR ever harmed in the past. It had been a good day when she got Quinn and Simmons both. Simmons had tried to slither away but he had been spotted by one of her C.I.s and FBI picked him up. Only a handful of low level players were left out there, most had just joined and there wasn't enough to put them away, but they got fired for rumors of having an affiliation to HR.

Joss had figured she'd die at the end of her takedown of HR, so when she got to go home she hugged and kissed her son so hard she nearly squeezed the life out of him. Her boy had been a good sport while his old mom cried, not even knowing what a mental roller coaster she had been on just hours prior. But that had been last November and it was already midway through June, closing in on summer, and yet she was still stuck in a rut. She had isolated herself so much from everyone during that time of taking down HR that she didn't know how to shut it off. The only real person she had chosen to help her, to lean on, was John, and that was when she realized she needed someone to have her back because she couldn't do it alone. And she trusted that man more than she ever trusted anyone. Not that she didn't trust Finch, Fusco, or Shaw because she did and they were tremendous helpful friends, but she and John were just connected in a way the others weren't.

Joss sighed, if she was honest with herself she would admit that she and John had been connected since the moment their eyes locked for the first time. She had never seen such intense and sad blue eyes as his had been, they were still intense but for the most part that utter bleakness was gone, replaced with something else. Hope. And she silently wondered if she helped erase that bleakness from him. "You changed my mind," flashed through her mind but she stubbornly pushed thoughts of John away.

But forcing thoughts of John away only brought her back to her current predicament, the lack of a personal life, and it was all John's fault too. She had figured getting some semblance of a life back meant actually having a personal life, or at least an attempt at having a personal life. Which brought her here, exiting a romantic restaurant where she had agreed to meet Miguel Hernandez, alone.

He was a good looking man, funny, and intelligent. Miguel was a bank manager she had met on accident when she left on her break to hit Starbucks for her and Fusco. The date had gone well until it became evident that there was nothing beyond the initial flicker of physical attraction that sparkled between them. And as intelligent as Miguel was, the conversation stilted midway through the date and neither one knew how to keep it going, so they fell to the dreaded topic: weather. And that was the kiss of death for any date, but they were adult about it, wishing each other well and that was that.

She felt the warm June air wash over her while the breeze billowed as she walked in the throng of other men and women who were in a hurry to get to where they wanted to go.

It was all John's fault that her dates were boring, because ever since that one cold and lonely Valentine's night that she had shared with him—her best friend, it had ruined her. That night her son had a date with his new girlfriend, all her girlfriends had dates, Fusco had one, hell even Shaw had one. Shaw!—though, she seriously doubted that the date ended in romance and more along the lines of pure sex. But even just having sex had sounded good after months of being celibate. She hadn't dated since Cal had died, hadn't wanted too, and then when she did want to she had been so focused on HR that dating had taken a backseat. She had been lonely, and annoyed that she was lonely, until John just showed up bringing her roses as if he knew she was feeling a tad depressed. He brought her chocolates, treating her to a wonderful Valentine's non-date, he even brought a rom-com that she knew he hated but watched it for her. They had stayed up late just talking, he was utterly fascinating. John had given her more insight into him on that one night than he had previously in all the years she had known him. She felt thirsty as the more he opened up the more she asked him things. But at some point after midnight, she had fallen asleep, and woke up the next morning finding herself in her bed, alone, with a note thanking her for a wonderful night.

And ever since then none of the guys she went out with after her one non-date with John were very interesting. It always started out alright, but it puckered out about an hour into the date. That non-date was more stimulating than the last four real ones put together. Maybe she was being too picky? Since her non-date with John she had found her tastes in the opposite sex skewed a bit. She judged their looks, wits, and intelligence to John. If they weren't as tall as him then he was too short for her, if they weren't as handsome as John then they weren't attractive. If they didn't stumble over their words as they tried to tell her she looked nice, then they weren't meaning it. If they flashed their pearly whites too much then they were being fake, she enjoyed John giving her his rare beautiful smile, making her feel like he reserved it just for her. If they weren't as humorous as John with his wry sense of humor then they were dull. Joss couldn't even count the number of men she sent packing because they just didn't rise to the bar that John had set without even realizing he had.

Or maybe it was the occupations of the men she did agree to go out with that did somehow manage to measure up, maybe they were just boring for her? The last four guys all worked 9-5 jobs, with 401K plans, and guys who wanted to talk about finance or politics. Not that she minded talking about politics, but it was just not her 'go to' topic and not once during her conversations with John did conversation ever become so stale that they had to fall onto politics as something to talk about. They both had traveled, he more so then her, and they shared many similar likes so the conversation never hit a lull. Or perhaps the reason for her dates crashing and burning had little to do with the men and more to do with her.

Joss approached her car as she tugged her cell phone out of her purse. She didn't even hesitate as she found John's name and clicked it. She put the phone to her ear and it rang once before he answered. "Hello detective," he greeted.

She smiled. "Hey…"

"Are you okay?"

Her smile widened. "Do I need to be in danger to talk to you, John?"

"Well no," he said and it sounded like he wanted to say more but refrained from doing so. "So what do I owe the pleasure of you calling then, Carter?" She hemmed and hawed because she wanted to say she was lonely and wanted to talk to him, but didn't want him to feel obligated to come over. "Carter?"

"I'm lonely," she admitted as she slid into her car, leaning her head against the headrest and slammed her car door shut.

John was quiet for a moment. "Bad date, huh?"

She furrowed her brows. "How did you know I went out on a date?" she demanded before she exhaled. "Never mind, I don't want to know," she admitted before letting out a sound of surprise as her passenger side door opened and she blinked as John climbed in. "Where the hell did you come from?"

He shrugged as he ended the call and put his phone away as did she. "I was around," he murmured.

She cocked a brow. "You were 'around' huh." she said but not in anger, she was actually grateful he had been following her.

He shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure this guy didn't do anything to you."

"You know I can take care of myself, John."

"I know but it never hurts to have someone watching your back," he said and she glanced at him and smiled. She couldn't shut his protectiveness off any more than she could hers and a part of her deep inside was thrilled she had someone out there that cared that much about her.

She looked away glancing out to the windshield eyeing all the people walking to and fro, and realized she could have been in the midst of them and would still feel as lonely as hell. "What's wrong with me, John?" she asked quietly.

"Carter, there is nothing wrong with you."

She kept her gaze out on busy New York because she was afraid to look into his eyes. "I mean ever since I brought down HR, got my job back, and my life back, it just feels like I'm stuck."

"You spent months trying to bring them down, Carter. You spent every waking moment trying to bring them down. It's going to take time to fall back into the swing of things for a normal everyday life."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It's not, it's never easy adjusting," he said, sounding as if he knew from experience and he probably did. It must have taken time for him to adjust to his new purpose for life.

"I feel like something is missing from my life, John."

"What do you think is missing?" he asked softly and this time she did look him in the eyes.

"Love," she said. "For years I went without it because I didn't need it. I had my boy who loved me unconditionally but he's grown now. He's got a cute girlfriend who he took to prom, he graduated, he's moving onto college and I'm incredibly proud and happy." But she also felt like she was at a crossroads, once her son went to college she would be alone. And while she was comfortable being alone, she didn't want to be alone forever—no one did.

John gave her one of those rare smiles. "I know you are and he's just as proud of you for everything you have accomplished. Not to mention I heard that the precinct is thinking of promoting you to Captain."

"You heard, more like you listened in on a private conversation," she huffed and he shrugged. Captain Moreno was moving up the food chain, getting promoted and she recommended her for the job. Joss had interviewed for it just two days ago but wouldn't know anything until next week at the earliest.

"It's a good opportunity, Carter, and you should be happy."

"I am happy and I was going to tell you if I got it or not,"she assured him.

"You'll get it."

"Oh no you don't, you and Finch are forbidden from doing anything that makes it so I get it, understood! I want to get the job for my own merit not because you threaten someone or someone hacks the database and gives me it!"

John looked at her with a smirk. "I'm hurt you'd even think I'd threaten someone to give you a promotion."

She snorted. "You did it for Fusco, getting him promoted and moved into Homicide Division at the 8th!"

He shrugged. "That was different."

"Why?"

"Because I needed him to keep an eye on you for me, plus he needed to get away from where he was as everyone knew he was dirty," John said. Joss shook her head, John sounded so reasonable as he explained it. But even so she couldn't be entirely upset because John had gotten her the best partner she ever had, even if he had started out dirty. Fusco became a good friend.

"You know you saved him, right?"

John looked at her, confused. "Saved who?"

"Fusco. He probably would be dead or in jail if it weren't for you."

John shook his head. "I highly doubt Lionel feels that way. I manipulated him into helping me, forced him to. If anyone saved him it was you, Carter. You got him to go on the straight and narrow." She would let him believe that since it seemed John wasn't willing to believe the alternative right now.

Conversation lapsed and they were blanketed with silence. And it wasn't uncomfortable in the least, they were content in being in each other's presence without needing to fill the void with useless words. She looked out the window and felt John tense a bit. She glanced at him as he reached up and touched his ear. "What is it, Finch?" he questioned. He listened for a few moments before looking at her. "Duty calls."

"New number?" she asked. She was still getting used to the idea of this super computer and how her friends got their information. But she was getting there. He nodded and she was sad that he was going to be leaving. "If you need any help, call," she told him.

"You are always my first call," he assured her and she looked away feeling sentimental over that. She was glad she was his first thought. "Carter?"

"What?" she asked not looking at him, afraid he'd see the fact that she didn't want him to go in her eyes.

"Look at me," he commanded and she was helpless to do anything except what he ordered. His blue eyes bored into her. "You'll find love, because you're a beautiful and an amazing woman. And when it happens it will happen when you least expect it," he promised before grabbing the car door handle, looking away as he climbed out. He leaned down and looked at her before giving her one of his rare smiles. "You have my word. Goodnight, Carter." he said quietly before straightening and sliding the door shut.

She watched helplessly as he walked away. "I think I already have." she whispered as she watched him until he disappeared into the night.

AN: I swear this story came out of the blue to me, everything about it popped into my head one moment and I had to literally stop writing something else to work on this. Next chapter is in John's pov.

Thanks for reading, this story is going to be a mini little thing as it's only a handful of chapters :)