Author's Note: This is my first fic. Please don't flame!! I inserted a character I created.
***********************The Party****************************************
Onyx called up Aeris. He always had trouble figuring out what she said, so he put the translator on his phone to "Blonde Airhead" After he dialed, a recording came up. It said translated: "Hello, this is Aeris. If you want to know how I came back from the dead, press 1, if you want to talk, press 2." Damn, I thought, I aways wanted to know how she did that, but it'll have to wait. I pressed 2.
"Hello?" "Hi" I said, "I'm having a party, would you want to come?' "I don't know, I'm booked pretty tight..." "Sepiroth will be he-" "I'M THERE!!!!" Dooooooooooooooo. *Click* "Well, now it'll be easier to get Sephiroth here."
Then I called the rest of the gang. They all said they would come. I had to tell Cloud 'chicks' would be here, but he's coming.
Then I checked the supplies. I was prepared. I had 2,000,000 gallons of Booya, a drink I concocted earlier, ten closets with a condom in each, all wired to open when I pressed the 'little red button', and a present for everybody. A dating guide for Cloud, a new pink dress for Aeris, a book on raising a kid so they're nothing like you for Barret, for Red, the number of his long lost sister, Cid got a lifetime supply of cigarettes, a new car for Seph, Yuffie got 7 gil of materia, Vince got a lifetime membership to the NRA, and Tifa got a ring with a rock the size of a beached whale. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not proposing, but one can always hope, right?
*Klunk!* "Open the %^$@# door, we're freezing our @$$%$ off!!" "Oh! They're here! Cid must have gotten to the door first." I opened the door and let them in. The first thing Barret said was "Where da damn booze, foo?!?" I pointed to the giant keg in the corner. After they came in I yelled "Hey! I got gifts so I want to give them out before A.) You're drunk off your ass. or B.) You're in a closet screwing somebody." A couple faces went red. I handed out the presents, of which three said thank you, and three said, and I quote:"Holy f*****g Hell!" They were Seph, Tifa, and obviously Cid. Then I said let's party, and things started great. When I asked what he was doing, Vince took his tounge out Yuffie's throat and said "Nothing..." When I asked Yuffie, she didn't answer. I think she was out of breath. The same went for Seph and Aeris. I then knelt down and asked Cloud what he was going to try doing. He didn't answer. Then I asked who he was going to try doing. Then his eyes rolled up and he fell on the floor. He either died or he was avoiding the question. I walked over to the couch and sat down next to Tifa. I asked,"Did you like the ring?" "Oh yes. How much did it cost?" "Oh, about 10 trillion gil, but it doesn't matter. You want to get something to drink?" "Sure." We walked to the bar and had a few drinks. Pretty soon we were smashed. I told her to come with me. I don't remember what happened, but I woke up next to Tifa with a sweet taste in my mouth. That and we were naked. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed it.
***********************The Party****************************************
Onyx called up Aeris. He always had trouble figuring out what she said, so he put the translator on his phone to "Blonde Airhead" After he dialed, a recording came up. It said translated: "Hello, this is Aeris. If you want to know how I came back from the dead, press 1, if you want to talk, press 2." Damn, I thought, I aways wanted to know how she did that, but it'll have to wait. I pressed 2.
"Hello?" "Hi" I said, "I'm having a party, would you want to come?' "I don't know, I'm booked pretty tight..." "Sepiroth will be he-" "I'M THERE!!!!" Dooooooooooooooo. *Click* "Well, now it'll be easier to get Sephiroth here."
Then I called the rest of the gang. They all said they would come. I had to tell Cloud 'chicks' would be here, but he's coming.
Then I checked the supplies. I was prepared. I had 2,000,000 gallons of Booya, a drink I concocted earlier, ten closets with a condom in each, all wired to open when I pressed the 'little red button', and a present for everybody. A dating guide for Cloud, a new pink dress for Aeris, a book on raising a kid so they're nothing like you for Barret, for Red, the number of his long lost sister, Cid got a lifetime supply of cigarettes, a new car for Seph, Yuffie got 7 gil of materia, Vince got a lifetime membership to the NRA, and Tifa got a ring with a rock the size of a beached whale. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not proposing, but one can always hope, right?
*Klunk!* "Open the %^$@# door, we're freezing our @$$%$ off!!" "Oh! They're here! Cid must have gotten to the door first." I opened the door and let them in. The first thing Barret said was "Where da damn booze, foo?!?" I pointed to the giant keg in the corner. After they came in I yelled "Hey! I got gifts so I want to give them out before A.) You're drunk off your ass. or B.) You're in a closet screwing somebody." A couple faces went red. I handed out the presents, of which three said thank you, and three said, and I quote:"Holy f*****g Hell!" They were Seph, Tifa, and obviously Cid. Then I said let's party, and things started great. When I asked what he was doing, Vince took his tounge out Yuffie's throat and said "Nothing..." When I asked Yuffie, she didn't answer. I think she was out of breath. The same went for Seph and Aeris. I then knelt down and asked Cloud what he was going to try doing. He didn't answer. Then I asked who he was going to try doing. Then his eyes rolled up and he fell on the floor. He either died or he was avoiding the question. I walked over to the couch and sat down next to Tifa. I asked,"Did you like the ring?" "Oh yes. How much did it cost?" "Oh, about 10 trillion gil, but it doesn't matter. You want to get something to drink?" "Sure." We walked to the bar and had a few drinks. Pretty soon we were smashed. I told her to come with me. I don't remember what happened, but I woke up next to Tifa with a sweet taste in my mouth. That and we were naked. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed it.