"..."
"..."
"..."
"...Well, are you going to ask him or what?"
"No, un! You do it."
"It was your idea."
"Shut up, Danna!"
Itachi sighed. "I've got an idea. Wait 'til Zetsu leaves."
"Okay, un."
"...you're asking him."
"Nuh uh, un! Make Danna ask him!"
Sasori face palmed and wondered how he got dragged into this.
"Be quiet before he hears!"
"It was Danna talking that time!"
"Shu-"
"Senpai, what are you doing behind the couch with Itachi-san? Tobi thinks you are bothering Sasori-san. Sasori-san is trying to relax!"
They paled, and Deidara jumped up.
"Un, nevermind that, Tobi. I've got a question for you."
"Okay, Senpai!"
Itachi got up and whispered in Deidara's ear.
Deidara sighed.
"Okay, Tobi. What kind of... things, un... do you and Zetsu do... together...?"
Tobi smiled really bright.
"Oh, we do really fun things! Zetsu takes Tobi for walks in the garden, and sometimes Tobi picks flowers for Zetsu, and..."
Itachi sighed. Again.
"...Un, yeah, Tobi, that's really nice and all, but do you, you know, like each other?"
"Tobi likes Zetsu, a lot! Zetsu and Tobi are best friends!"
Itachi tugged on Deidara's sleeve. "Hurry, before Zetsu gets back."
Deidara elbowed him.
"Yeah, Tobi, of course you are, un, but I mean, do you like, like each other?"
"Tobi like like likes Zetsu!"
"...Oh my god, what I mean is, do you both like each other?"
"Zetsu like like likes Tobi, too!"
Deidara crossed his arms. He was guessing this meant that if he wanted to find out if Zetsu and Tobi were together, he was going to have to ask Zetsu.
"...unless Tobi is bad, then Zetsu punishes Tobi!"
Deidara's head flicked around, unaware that Tobi had kept talking. "What do you mean, punishes?"
"Zetsu makes Tobi's bottom hurt."
All three paled once more.
"Zetsu makes Tobi wear a blindfold!"
Their eyes widened.
"and Zetsu bites Tobi, too."
"Tobi!"
"Oh no! Zetsu sounds mad at Tobi!"
Tobi curled around Deidara's legs, shivering.
Deidara peeled Tobi off of him so he could hide behind Itachi.
Zetsu stomped in the room. "Tobi! How much soap did you put in that washing machine?"
"Tobi sorry!"
Zetsu started tapping his foot impatiently.
"Tobi coming!"
Tobi ran over to Zetsu.
"Bye, Senpai!" he yelled. "Tobi in trouble!"
Zetsu grabbed Tobi's wrist and pulled him away.
Itachi licked his lips.
"Bye, Deidara, gotta go find Kisame, see you."
He ran out of the room.
Deidara sat down on the couch and scooted over to Sasori.
Sasori rolled his eyes.
"...get the blindfold, Dei."