Forgive Me

YADADA! I don't own anything, all characters belong to their respective owners. Not making money from this.

Didn't have a beta so anything mistake is all on me. Let me know if I should continue. Feed the monster.

My name is Jane Rizzoli and I am broken. It has been two month since I had shot my best friend's biological father, sixty days since she's turn her back on me, since she's spoken to me, smiled at me. I had thought that if I gave her some time, everything would eventually get better. If I gave her the time to cool down, I might be able to talk to her again and explain that I was just doing my job, that I didn't mean to hurt her, that I didn't mean to make her hate me because I'm 100% sure that she hates me now.

I'm sitting at my desk trying to focus on our latest case but my mind keep drifting to Maura Isles and what I could do to get my friend back. I can't seem to get the image of Maura's face, the anger that was directed at me, so much hate in her eyes when she told me to not touch him. I snap out of my dazed when i hear the distinct clacking of heels coming down the corridor toward the squad room. I look down at my hands then looked up in time to see Maura walking toward Frost's desk. She handed him a file and explained to him in detail about the autopsy on our latest murder victim.

Frost looked at me and turned to Maura. "Hey doc, I really appreciate the dumb me down explanation, but Jane's the lead detective on this case, you really should be talking to her."

I froze the minute I heard the words come out of Frost's mouth, I looked back down to my hands and waited to see what would happened.

I waited and waited, and as the seconds ticked by my heart raced pumping blood into my brain a little to fast, I was beginning to get light headed. I heard the heels turned and moved further away from me and I knew that if I didn't say something, anything, things would keep going like this forever.

I pushed my chair back and rushed after Maura. As I got closer to her I reach my hand out and try to grab at her arms.

"Maura, come on. Maur, please."

She came to an abrupt stop and I had to stop myself short or run directed into her. She stood still for a moment and twist her body around hard and fast to face me. What she did next I could never imagine. Maura Isles, calm and collect in almost all situation brought her hand up and slap me hard across the face. It was like time had slow down and I saw every movement of her hand as it lifted and moved to my face, but I did nothing to stop it, I don't think I even wanted to. I deserved it and everything else that she can throw at me. What came next was something that I could never forget, because in that moment, those few words that left her mouth left me more than broken, they left me shattered and dead.

"I don't want anything from you Detective Rizzoli, not your apology, not your friendship, not your help." Her eyes burning with rage and she thought out her next words." You know what? Never mind, there is something I want from you. TO LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME JANE RIZZOLI, NOT NOW, NOT EVER. YOU ARE A MURDERER, NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS!" And with those last words she entered the elevator which was conveniently opening to let another officer out and press the button for the level of the morgue.

I stood there and slowly brought my hand to my cheek, the sting was beginning to settle but I refuse to let the tears fall, I will not be weak in front of my colleagues. I walked back to my desk and dropped into my chair not really caring what the rest of the office thought of my exchange with the usually quite and compose doctor. I didn't hear a noise at all coming from around me, I looked up to see the whole squad room looking at me.

Surprisingly it was Cavanaugh that came to my rescue. He choose that exact moment to stick his head out of his office and holler for me.

"Rizzoli, in here now. The rest of you, get back to work or the next thing your doing in looking for a new job."

He came back into his office to find me already sitting in front of his desk.

"Rizzoli, take off."

I looked at him like the just grew a second head.

"I'm not firing you," he continue, "you need some time off, just take what you need. Gods know how much time you actually have off. But if you don't voluntarily take some time off, I'm gonna force thirty days on you whether you like it or now. Your one of my best deceptive but your of no use to me like this. Your head's not in the game, and that's how good cops get kill. I won't have you running the streets unfocus. So go home, go talk to somebody, hell take a real vacation away from everything for a little while. Come back when your head is on straight."

I looked at him with unshed tears threatening to fall and nodded mutely at him. I heard him saying something about not having to worry about the paperwork as I got up and walked out of the squad room and to the elevator ignoring Frost and Korsak's concern look. As I step out into the street the sky darken and opened up as the clouds started pouring heavy water droplets towards the earth. As I dragged myself to my car, I turned the key into lock and got in, I looked to the angry sky one last time and allow my tears to finally fall.