Though it's a bit too early, happy birthday Birthday! You resident stepford smiler, you~~~
As a subplot and homage to the popular trope, ever since childhood, Birthday had a horrible disease with absolutely no physical symptoms, except that it sometimes caused him to feel faint and cough – an incurable cough of death. Just like in the soap operas, Birthday fit the ill boy archetype like a glove.
"I'm going to live a long life."
He refused to go out with nothing less than a bang. The doctors had told him that he had less than a year to live, that the he shouldn't expect much because the operation had a very low chance of succeeding, but he had proven them all wrong. He was still alive and kicking, despite the grim predictions – so, he might as well go for the hat trick.
"You don't seem to lead the lifestyle of someone who will live long."
The person who said that was Ratio. A childhood friend, a classmate, a work partner, and a false prophet whom he had vowed to disprove. If life was a card game, Birthday was aiming for the Joker position – a wild card with unpredictable movements. Screw everyone and their misguided expectations.
"Someday, one of the girls will go nuts and stab you with a knife."
…oh, so he was talking about that.
(He will manage somehow)
Today was Birthday's birthday. Yes, he was actually waiting for a year to make that pun. Don't judge. People said that after reaching a certain age, birthdays would start to lose its novelty. But the sayings, like most things, didn't apply to Birthday. After all, birthdays were really motivational, if he could manage to keep himself alive for another year, he would get money and cakes. Also, it was kind of like punching Death in the face while saying "not today!" on a yearly basis. Very badass, he almost felt like a Marvel hero with 2 movies, 1 TV series, and a bunch of comic books and spin offs dedicated to the franchise. Though arguably a hero in his own right, Birthday was but a nameless one, so he would just settle for cakes and presents for the time being.
They – him and Ratio – were on their way to the café, in an attempt to make it to the not-so-subtly-hinted-upon surprise birthday party. He still wondered about it, sometimes. Murasaki, Nice, Art, Honey, and Three were all pretty smart fellows on their own, but combined together, the sheer level of stupidity was almost comical.
He guessed that this was what people were talking about when they talked about a 'transparent lie.' A lie so transparent, it almost served no purpose whatsoever. But people still tried, anyway. Maybe they were not playing to win, but for a gold star that said 'you tried.'
"I'm not sleeping with that woman!"
Yeah right. Here, have a gold star.
Birthday on the other hand, was always smiling – because, anything but a smile would make him have to explain. Plus, humor was a good way to hide all of his worries. If all of that made him a liar, then he was a pretty damn good one. Maybe it would do him good to supplement his income with opening up courses. The people at Café Nowhere could be his first batch of pupils.
Not that he worry much, lately. Somewhere along line, the fake smile that he often wore had become something 'real.' He had smiled too much and too often, he forgot the difference between them altogether. The genuine smiles, the fake ones…which is which?
Was he even this cheerful as a child?
Probably, maybe, he isn't quite sure.
Back to the topic of the other birthday, they should probably hurry, lest Hajime ate all of the food served. Last year's record was 33.5 minutes before she snapped, and broke all of her restraints. But she was getting stronger, smarter, and faster so he should really be careful.
He supposed it was for the most part, could be attributed to an old grudge, still lingering on her subconscious. Hajime displayed impeccable mannerism on Nice's birthday every year, but God help her every time Birthday's came around. Not that he could really blame her. After all, if he was zapped by 200-something volts to the front porch of the Pearly Gates, he would most certainly be beyond royally pissed. But nothing could be done about that. He had said his sorry, so it was up to time (and the occasional food briberies) to heal all wounds (both literally and figuratively) and made things cool again between them.
Speaking of food, what would this year's birthday cake be? Everyone (except Three and Honey) were too much of a cheapskate to buy a proper one from the patisserie. "Too impersonal. After all, X (the name changes every time) makes some pretty mean cakes," they would say. "Just admit that you're all too damn broke to buy them," he would retort, and the bantering would ensue. He had sampled Nice's (pretty passable), Koneko and Hajime's (…very unique), Ratio's (was that supposed to be a cake?), Art (suspiciously looked store bought), and Three and Honey's (never mind Honey, Three is a Michelin caliber cook)…so this year would probably be Murasaki's? Him wearing an apron and baking cake, the mental image was too damn hilarious to handle.
Still, a birthday cake, presents, crackers, and people to celebrate his birthday with…he was so happy, he felt like puking.
"Please let me be here for a little while longer."
The time of birth, was namely, the entrance. After that, the time when everyone died, was the exit. Life itself was a real long detour. While living, people detoured about everything, taking everything the long way round.
"There is a world after this."
"No, there is not."
So, what was it exactly?
"We will be reborn."
"No, we will not."
Then, he guessed that everything was okay.
Stuff like being reborn, and by chance, meeting each other again, will be really bothersome. So, let's not make it that way. Let's just be with one mortal life, and live without fighting (too much), without thinking about who will die first.
You, me, and a bunch of other people will live and die, so what.
Who wants to live forever, anyway?
Even if Birthday was told that his life would end tomorrow, the day after, or the day after that, it was all fine. Because on this earth, he was able to become someone important to someone else. The mornings where he existed, and the mornings where he didn't, he hoped that there would be some differences in them, even just for a little bit. The time before he was born, and the time after he had disappeared, he hoped that there was a difference in the world.
(Three, Ratio, Murasaki, Koneko, Master, Art, and Hajime – everyone had better cried their eyes out)
But if he could make one tiny request, exactly one minute after Ratio died, God, please let him stop breathing. That was one of his life's wishes. He still had a promise to keep, after all. Death, rebirth, life's wishes…it was a pretty depressing train of thought. But today was his birthday, and Birthday the birthday boy had the prerogative right to be as willful as humanly possible. He, along with everyone born on this day were today's Kings and Queens, so to speak.
Thinking too much about too many things made his head hurt, so at the nth intersection, he lowered his back rest, and closed his eyes.
As his vision dimmed, the sounds of the traffic and hum of the engine fell into a distant lull. But the words that Ratio said had remained clear.
"Happy birthday, thanks for being born."