The Tale of the Forbidden Longing
I knew that she was off-limits. Being with her would go against the rules of brotherhood, of everything I'd known that was good in this world. But when she smiled at me like she did, when she danced with me, or laughed with me, that no longer mattered. She haunted me in my sleep and often in the daytime too. I was cursed to love someone I could never actually love. But the worst part – I could tell she loved me too, if not as much as him, at least a little. I could tell when she looked at me longingly, like she wanted everything I did and then looked away guiltily.
Lily Evans was beautiful and strong and intelligent. She was my greatest fantasy never come true. And James Potter was my best friend, my brother if I had anything to say about it.
The two had seemed so right for each other. They still did to everyone but me. I had loved Lily from afar for so long that I was surprised when, only a year ago, James had first kissed her. I'd heard about that kiss for hours – apparently it was great – and it had killed me inside. But what could I do? When my best friend was so happy, how could I take that away from him? He deserved much more happiness than I; he was a much better person. And he was my best friend, so I wished him better than myself. But sometimes my selfish side came out, especially in my dreams. My often dirty dreams about this girl he adored.
I laid my head in my hands, sighing.
"Sirius, my man!" James came barreling into the room, flinging his books onto the table. I laughed because he probably wouldn't pick them back up until next class. We were known for our laziness. It was one of our less amiable qualities.
"What's up, Potter?" I asked as he pulled out two tickets from his pocket. I studied them, trying to figure out what they were.
"Ice Kills tickets." He smiled broadly.
"The band? I didn't think you were into them." I shuffled through some letters I had received from my mum. Nothing but disappointment written on those pages.
"I'm not," he kept smiling, like some stupid idiot. "Lily is though, something about how they're hot. But anyway she loves them, and I'm taking her tonight!"
"How the bloody hell are you going to pull that off? You know we're not aloud to go outside of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade." I sighed, wondering how I'd be roped into this.
"That's where you come in," I looked at him skeptically. I knew it. "I need your help to cover for us when we're gone."
"Okay, so question," I leaned forward.
"Shoot."
"Why are you willing to risk expulsion to go to a concert you're not even going to listen to?"
"Because mate," he sounded excited, although I didn't know why, "Lily's been talking about taking the next step and we've been going out for a year."
"Oh," I said nonchalantly, although I was really in agony over the thought, "Well you'd do anything to get laid I guess."
"By Lily, of course. Who wouldn't?" I nodded; it was true. She was one of the most beautiful girls in the school. Many had noticed her.
"Alright, fine, what do you need me to do?"
"Well, I was thinking Lupin could help too, but I don't know if he'll be up to it, after the last time…" a sly smile lit his face and mine at the memory of Moony standing in the moonlight in only his underwear, his girlfriend Kate thought it was pretty funny too. He, however, didn't so I would guess that he wouldn't want to help again in the near future.
"Anyway, we would need you to stand guard in the common room in case Dumbledore goes on another night check up. And we'd also need you to meet us back after the concert so we could get in."
I shook my head but said yes anyway. He thanked me and ran up to the girls' dormitory, knocking lightly. I ran up to our room and lay down on my bed, mentally exhausted.
"Come on man!" Someone shook me awake. I looked up to see Potter standing annoyingly above me. "It's time for us to leave."
"Alright fine," I groaned as he pulled me from my bed and down the stairs.
"Asleep, Black?" Lily asked from one of the chairs by the fire. She smiled sexily and I nodded, falling into the chair next to her, pretending not to notice her unbelievably short and tight dress.
"Let's go, Lil," James waved her towards the swinging portrait and winked at me on the way out. I groaned, trying not to think about her body and his together tonight. I swore that she was going to kill me someday.
Two hours later, I fell into my bed after hearing ten minutes of James and Lily's fighting. I felt bad that they were angry with each other, but I also felt relieved that it wasn't tonight. For some reason it couldn't be tonight.