She lives in a fairy tale
Somewhere too far for us to find
Forgotten the taste and smell
Of the world that she's left behind
Growing up, I have always been the adult. I have never had a fairytale to call my own, never having the chance to be a kid. I never got to escape into my own mind, I had to keep my mom grounded to make sure that she doesn't escape too far into her own fairytale. It's all about the exposure, the lens, I told her
The angles were all wrong now
She's ripping wings off of butterflies
She tries to expose me to everything in her world, but it doesn't work for me. I can't see life the way she does. Our perspectives are too different, where she sees life as this big amusement park and she goes on these wild rides. Me on the other hand, I'm the parent waiting at the end of the rides, making sure she was okay at the end of the ride, telling her whether she can ride it or not. I'm the depressed one, taking the beauty and tearing it apart to where you can only see the hidden ugly.
Keep your feet on the ground
When your head's in the clouds
I kept her grounded, safe, secure. Made sure the bills got paid on time, balanced the checkbooks, and kept everything running smoothly.
Well, go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
I buried myself in my books. I found my own fairytale when I could. I dug myself in it, not realizing that the world was changing around me. It's modern times now, not the times of knights in shining armor. There was no castle that I could lock myself in, no tower high enough to keep everything out. I had to bury myself underground, watching as dirt fell through the cracks. So one day he found her crying
Coiled up on the dirty ground
Her prince finally came to save her
And the rest you can figure out
I fell one day and my mom wasn't there. I was five and at the park. My knee was scraped and I couldn't stop rocking back in forth, in my small, small ball. I was dirty from sweat, tears, dirt. Blood. He came out of nowhere, I didn't see him around. Just walked out of the trees, the tall man, the kind man with the sharp eyes. I fell in love with him. My own prince charming. But it was a trick
And the clock struck twelve
Well, make sure to build your home
Brick by boring brick
Or the wolf's gonna blow it down
That was before I found out what he was, is. His eyes too sharp, noticing things that were there but couldn't be found. It scared me at first, but he got me used to it, until it was time for me to wake up out of my dream, but I was trapped underground , bricks in my hands, and then it came crumbling down all around me. Keep your feet on the ground
When your head's in the clouds
I thought he kept me grounded, when in reality he controlled me.
Well, go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
We'll bury the castle, bury the castle
I tried to get out my fairytale coming to its end. Slowly, digging out of my life, escaping to reality, barely coming out alive.
Well, you built up a world of magic
Because your real life is tragic
Yeah, you built up a world of magic
Not a sense of reality happened. No childlike innocence. Fully grown adult maturity at the age of 17. I didn't have a rebellious stage, even my mom doesn't have one. She's stuck at the age of 5, wondering about new things, the new adventures that she can go on. It's annoying really. Well, if it's not real
You can't hold it in your hand
You can't feel it with your heart
And I won't believe it
But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh, even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah
I usually live by the philosophy, if it's not there, it can't be real. I guess I was wrong about that. He left and he is still real in my mind, taking over as a force to be reckoned with. He's still in my heart, his footprints still linger along with the pain as if he was stomping on my bones. Then he shows his face, I cannot tell if it is a hallucination or real. The darkness inside my heart and outside in the sky don't conceal him. I wish I was with him. Go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
My fairytale, it calls to me even though it's not real.
"Bella, wake up, it's only a nightmare," Edward said, shaking me awake.