Snapshots Of Another Snape

Belongs To JKR

Winter.

Severus has always hated the cold.

It's ironic considering the fact Slytherin's dungeon are known as the coldest place in Hogwarts. Yet he hates it, perhaps because it's a potent reminder of his life. Cold, Empty, Worthless, Unending, you get the point. Yet hates the warmth even more. Severus has been comfortable in Spring or Summer either, perhaps because the warmth feels out of place on his body or because it illuminates his body to a world that doesn't or couldn't accept him.

The Winter is a place Severus can blend into, adjust to, he's used to it. Summer and Spring, they're part of a world he doesn't belong to, maybe that's why he hates it. Or the most likely reason of all, it reminds him of her.

He doesn't think about her anymore, not since the incident. Actually that's a lie he thinks about her every minute of his spare time.

Either thinking of ways to forget her, get her back, justify himself for what he did, hate himself for what he did, hate her for what she's done to him…..once again you get the point.

Christmas break is here once again and Severus is home once again.

Home.

The only thing Severus hates worse than himself.

Tobias is drunk, unsurprisingly, and is fighting with Eileen, again unsurprisingly. Severus, reverting to the same plan that has suited him for so many years dons his thick wool coat, a gift from Narcissa and Drake skin gloves, a gift from Regulus, and walks out the door.

He's eternally grateful for these two precious items, they were the only gifts he received this year for Christmas after the incident. They, among several layers of used, ratty clothing, protect Severus' thin frame against the cold as he slowly meanders through Spinner's End.

As always his thoughts begin to drift toward Lily.

Merlin, I'd kill for a chance to see her smile at me one more time…WHY?! WHY?! DID I SAY...NO. Stop it, she's just a girl, nothing more, nothing less. You are on to greater things in a few months time you will be granted an audience with the Dark Lord to prove your usefulness. From there on out its your time to take the power and glory you deserve. And by then you'll have long forgotten her.

It was lie and Severus knew it, but it provided some comfort to him in his weak hours when he was seconds away from begging Lily for her forgiveness again.

Lucius had recently corresponded with him that he's arranged a meeting between the Dark Lord and Severus. He said he's very interested in his abilities and looks forward to guiding him along the path to fulfill his true potential. Severus simply had to have patience.

Which was no problem for him. Severus had always been denied instant gratification. Why start now?

As the sun began to set along the horizon, Severus walked toward a small stone bridge that crossed a half frozen river. Suddenly he heard….singing? and laughing? The voices were feminine and happy.

They were shouting some inane Muggle verse about a blue Christmas. When finally he recognized a voice, it was Lily's. Severus knew he should turn around now and head back but as with most cases involving Lily. Reason left him and Severus rolled into a crouch behind a large wall adjacent to the bridge.

"…..I'm telling you I can Samantha" Said Lily

"Prove it." challenged the girl, who Severus assumed was one of Lily's Muggle friends.

"Fine."

Severus peeked his head out from behind the tree to see a vision of beauty walking or some might say stumbling along the narrow stone railing of the bridge. Lily looked excited and proud at the same time. She did a small twirl on her right foot.

She was showing off her incredible dancers balance, something Severus had seen many times over the course of their friendship. Lily was always proud of her devotion to the silly Muggle art of Ballet. Despite Severus' numerous objections to its usefulness.

"That's amazing Lily." Samantha slurred?

Are they drinking?

"Practice makes perfect darling."

Lily was many things but modest wasn't one of them. In fact she bordered sometimes on Slytherin level confidence, or some might say arrogance of her talents. Something Severus delighted to no end teasing her about.

Lily bowed again for the Muggle and did what looked to be a finishing twirl if Severus' memories of her served him right. When a scream echoed into the dusk followed by a kerplunk as Lily Evans fell into the river below.

"Lily!" Screamed the insipid girl.

Severus doesn't really remember much of what happened next. He vaguely remembers sprinting towards the bridge, taking off his overcoat and gloves.

But he does remember two things distinctly, the panic welling in him at the thought of Lily dying.

And thinking.

Merlin this is going to hurt.

Before diving into the icy river after her.

Yes I'm back. No I don't think I'm going to work on Bravery again but ANYBODY can ADOPT IT. And yes I know I've got a thing for Lily falling into water.