Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at /works/2195688.

Dr. Leonard McCoy was a proper, old-fashioned gentleman at heart. Despite the messy divorce, and the evil ex-wife, and the fact that his last fling had been with an Andorian who really liked to bite, he still believed in romance, dammit. Especially on Valentine's Day. So, after a few months of watching his best friend and the hobgoblin act like mere platonic buddies even though Bones knew for a fact that they were involved, the good doctor decided to stage a romantic intervention.

He first approached Jim. "Hey, kid, wait up!" he uncharacteristically chirped, jogging after the captain down the hallway on Deck Five.

Jim turned to him with a decidedly strange look on his face, "Hey, Bones," he replied suspiciously, looking his friend over, "You dipping into the moonshine before shift or something?"

Leonard cleared his throat and pushed his face back into its usual half-scowl, "Nah," he said, "Just, uh, had too much caffeine. So," he fell into step with the captain as they headed towards the lift at the end of the hall, "you doing anything special tonight?"

Jim nodded a greeting to a passing crewman and shrugged absently, "Not really. Why? You want to do something?"

Leonard scoffed, folding his arms across his chest as they stepped into the lift, "Not with me, idiot, with your, you know, significant other."

Jim waited for the doors to close before raising an eyebrow at Bones, "Spock? Like what, a date?" He shifted towards the keypad, hand hovering over the lighted buttons, "Where are you going? Sickbay?"

McCoy grunted, "Sure." He watched as Jim pressed two keys, "I mean, it's Valentine's Day and all. Don't you two ever do stuff like that?"

The strange look was back, "I thought you didn't want to know about it." Then, a half-smile, "Besides, it isn't like that, Bones. We've got more of a bromance thing, anyway."

"Bromance." The doctor's tone was decidedly unimpressed.

Jim smirked, "Yeah, you know, all the friend stuff plus all the hot sex minus all the candy and flowers and dating crap."

"And you're happy about that?"

The turbolift doors swished open to reveal the brightly lit, energetic bridge, and Jim threw him a wink, "Absolutely, I am. See ya later, Bones."

Leonard pressed his lips together in annoyance as the doors shut. He'd have to adjust his strategy.

A few hours later, Leonard made his way down to Geology Lab B, where the hobgoblin was operating the electron microscope. He cleared his throat, glancing around to make sure that they were alone.

Spock didn't look up from the screen, "Yes, Doctor, is there something I can do for you?"

Leonard didn't have to fake a scowl this time, "Yes, dammit, there is. You want to turn around and look at me or do I have to talk to the back of your head?"

Spock's shoulders rose and fell in a slightly exaggerated breath, and then he turned to regard the doctor, one eyebrow raised, "Yes, Doctor?"

McCoy smugly rocked back and forth on his heels, "Do you know what today is?"

"Affirmative, it is stardate... ."

"No!" McCoy interrupted loudly, "I mean, on Earth, do you know what holiday it is?"

Spock shifted slightly in his seat, "It is Valentine's Day."

McCoy grinned, "Bingo! And do you know what humans do on Valentine's Day?"

Spock tilted his head slightly, "I am aware. May I ask that you proceed to the point of your line of questioning?"

Leonard ground his teeth together. Why Jim had to get himself mixed up with a green-blooded computer was beyond the doctor's understanding. "Well," he drawled, "I thought you might like to take Jim on a date tonight. You know, in honor of the holiday and all."

Spock turned dismissively back to his screen, "The captain would not be so inclined."

"How do you know?" Bones could feel the eyebrow rising again, and he took a step forward, lowering his voice, "C'mon, Spock, take my advice, for what it's worth. Humans need to feel like they're appreciated. I'll set everything up. Just show up in Jim's quarters at nineteen-hundred tonight and wear something other than that damn uniform."

Spock was silent for a moment, and then half-turned back to the doctor, regarding him out of the corner of his eye, "I do not understand your enthusiasm. Your previous behavior has suggested that you disapprove of our association."

Leonard chuckled, "Well, even I can admit to mistakes now and again, right?"

Spock raised his chin, "That approach would take you considerably less time than admitting to each mistake as it is made."

Bones glared, "I hope that was a joke, Spock."

Now, the Vulcan turned to meet his eyes, "Never, Doctor." He hesitated, and then inclined his head, "You are the captain's friend. If you believe that he would...appreciate...such a display this evening, then I shall accept your assistance."

"Great." Bones grinned. He turned and left, feeling the Vulcan's dark eyes on his back.

Leonard caught up with Jim again right after shift ended, when the young captain was on his way to the gym.

"Hey, Bones!" Jim seemed surprised to see him. "You going to work out?"

"Yeah," replied the doctor, thinking fast, "Sure. Mind if I join you?"

Jim shrugged, "Not at all. It'll be good to have company. Hope you're in the mood to swim."

McCoy was not, but decided he could take one for the team. They walked into the locker room and changed into swimsuits before grabbing towels and goggles and heading out to the pool deck. The doctor noticed that Jim's appearance in his suit was causing quite the stir among several passing crewmembers and, seeing Jim's answering smirk, flicked his towel at the captain's back, hissing, "What is it with you and the damn flirting?"

"What?" Jim shook his head, swinging his arms casually in circles to warm up, "I like to flirt."

"No shit." Bones eyed his goggles distastefully, "You'd flirt with the fucking dilithium crystals, given half the chance."

"I have flirted with the dilithium crystals. How do you think we got out of that mess near Holbart's World? Scotty was super impressed."

"Well", McCoy sputtered, "Don't you think you should put a cap on it?" He lowered his voice and leaned towards Jim, "I mean, you're involved now and all."

Jim let out a loud laugh and slapped him on the shoulder, "Jesus Christ, Bones, you had me going there for a minute." He took in the doctor's sulk, and raised his eyebrows, "Seriously, Bones? Like I said, it isn't like that. It's, you know, bromance."

"Bromance." McCoy muttered, watching as Jim dove in and started swimming with long, clean strokes.

The doctor gingerly slipped into the pool and swam a few laps before pulling himself out and drying off, watching Jim power through another twenty minutes. He tossed the captain's towel to him as Jim emerged from the water, breathing hard.

Jim eyed him curiously as he toweled off, "Okay, Bones, I'll bite. What's with you and all the interest in my, uh, extra-curricular activity all of a sudden? Any time I tried to bring it up before, even in passing, you made a face and covered your ears."

McCoy frowned, "Well, I'm your friend, and I'm interested in the fact that this is the first long-term relationship you've had, and I can see it's good for you. So I don't want you to fuck it up, is all."

"Right." Jim looked skeptical, "You're sure you're not just trying to mess with Spock?"

Bones gave an exaggerated sigh, "I'm sure! C'mon, Jim, let me show you that I'm on-board with you and your, you know, extra-curricular bromance whatever."

Jim considered him closely, and then nodded, "Okay, Bones. I'm in. What's your plan?"

McCoy's eyes widened, not expecting Jim to concede so quickly. "Nothing too elaborate. Just show up in your quarters at nineteen-hundred wearing something nice."

Jim snorted sarcastically, "Wow. That's it? I was expecting some kind of wild goose chase where I end up trapped naked in a Jeffries tube filled with roses."

"You're allergic to roses."

"Right. Sure, doc, nineteen-hundred." Jim walked back to the locker room, shaking his head.

At eighteen forty-five, Leonard surveyed the table he had set up in Jim's quarters. Two covered trays of food, a white tablecloth and napkins, wineglasses and a bottle from McCoy's personal stash. The doctor had even lit a candle and turned on soft music. Satisfied, he sat down in Jim's desk chair and began checking his messages, waiting for the two officers to arrive.

To Leonard's surprise, Jim showed up first, wearing a very nice blue dress shirt and slacks. He took in the carefully set table, the dimmed lights, and the lilting music in the background and smacked his hand on his forehead.

"What?" Bones was indignant.

"Nothing." Jim shook his head and walked over to the table, picking up the bottle of wine. "Hmmm...nice. Well at least we'll get something out of the evening."

McCoy was about to retort when the door slid open again to allow Spock to enter. The doctor looked him up and down. "I told you not to wear your uniform!"

Spock and Jim exchanged a glance and the Vulcan raised an eyebrow, "My presence was required in the lab until four point two minutes ago, which did not allow for sufficient time to select alternate attire."

"For fuck's sake. Well, you're here and all." Bones startled at the sound of wine being poured into one of the glasses. "Jim! You're supposed to wait until you both sit down to do that!"

The captain took a large swig of the wine and swirled it around his mouth. He swallowed loudly and licked his lips, "Yeah, that's really good, Bones. Oh, and no worries," he gestured with the glass in Spock's direction, "He doesn't drink."

Spock looked from Jim's satisfied smirk to Bones' angry scowl, "I believe I will take the opportunity to check my messages."

"Nope!" Bones leapt between him and the computer, arms wide, and practically herded the Vulcan over to one of the chairs by the table. "Sit down, goddammit! Both of you!"

Jim chuckled as he pulled his own chair out, taking another large mouthful of wine. Spock sat primly in his seat, looking warily at the covered tray in front of him. Bones shot both of them glares before removing both tray covers with a flourish, "Voila!"

"Aw, Bones. I really could have used a burger."

"Doctor, this is quite a copious amount of cheese."

"Shut up!" Bones dropped the covers on the nearby desk with a loud clatter and loomed over them, hands on his hips, "Now, listen. I'm a doctor, not a damn cupid. I don't know why I'm doing this except that you're my friends." He pointed a finger at Spock, who had leaned forward and opened his mouth, "Yeah, even you! And there's nothing wrong with romance. Nothing at all! Whatever it is that you two have going, with your constant flirting, Jim, and your annoying indifference, Spock, and this bromance bullshit is just that...bullshit! So eat your fucking food and make fucking eyes at each other and just have a fucking date already!"

Both men were staring at the doctor as if he had lost his mind. "Bones," Jim purred, "Does this have anything to do with Thrella? Because she told me that she thought you liked the biting."

"That's fucking it." Leonard threw his hands in the air. "I give up. Have fun with the bromance, boys." He stalked to the door, slamming his hand on the panel to open it.

"Thanks for the wine, Bones!" Jim called, raising his mostly empty glass at the doctor's back. Leonard's response was too muffled for Jim to pick up, but both of Spock's eyebrows rose precipitously.

The door slid shut smoothly, and the two officers looked at each other. "Think we were too hard on him?" Jim asked, setting his glass down.

"Negative, Jim. Although I do believe a more appropriate expression of gratitude may be in order tomorrow; the doctor's intentions were sincere."

The captain smoothly stood and engaged the privacy lock on the door, holding his hand out, first two fingers extended, to his bondmate. Spock mirrored his action, and their eyes met. The Vulcan tilted his head slightly, "Jim, what is bromance?"

Jim smiled, letting his fingers caress Spock's, "It's where you have a totally awesome telepathic bond with your best friend, so that he can always sense how much he's cherished, and needed. And you also do things like play chess and have amazing sex and sometimes let him lick chocolate off your body."

Spock's other hand came up to brush across Jim's lips, "There is a word for that in Vulcan as well, Jim. But I have never consumed chocolate in that manner."

Jim gripped the front of Spock's tunic, pulling him towards the bed, "Until now. Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. Spock."

The next day, Leonard wandered into his office, still fuming over the night before, and was greeted by a large bouquet of flowers and a card. Curious, the doctor opened the card and saw Jim's angled scrawl: "Happy Valentine's Day, Bones. Don't worry, we got your message. Sometimes you just need to look closer." And from then on, if the doctor caught sight of Jim's and Spock's hands brushing as they walked together down the corridor, or noticed that they sometimes stared just a bit too intensely at each other, he inwardly smiled, realizing that romance can have many definitions, and expressions of love many forms.

THE END

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, and I make no money from this.