Dorf POV

Apparently when my original mother gave birth to me, she had no idea that I would be a boy. So, she had all girl names picked out. When I was brought into this world, she found out that I was, indeed, a male. She wanted to name me after the great king of old, Ganondorf. So, instead of choosing the same name as him, she only used the last part. Dorf. Naturally, instead of using that name, others called me 'derp', 'dork', or even 'pork'. I wasn't a pig naturally, but naturally, I was born with the powerful magic that the kings of old had as well, so I could turn into a great beast that slightly resembled a boar.

Each time that someone would find out my name, all they would do is mock and laugh.

"Dorf?! Oh my Goddesses, that is the stupidest name EVER!"

"We were expecting your name to be much more, y'know, intimidating!"

"Your name is 'Dorf'. I feel bad for you."

Things like that set me off badly. Because of the mockery that my name brought, I wanted everyone to burn in fire. I wanted them to all die. I wanted my revenge. And, I will have it. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but, soon, I will have what is rightfully mine.

One day when I was scouting out a local village, I saw him. No, not one of those snobby townsfolk, it was him. One of those heroes of legend. I knew my purpose in life at the moment I saw him. I was going to be king. I was going to have what was rightfully mine. I was going to have Hyrule. I was going to have the Triforce. I was going to have my revenge over these petty, weak Hylians.

I needed a way to get my treasures, however. I had developed the perfect plan. I was to get the spirutal stones, Then, the Ocarina of Time. These are the keys to get the legendary Triforce from the Sacred Realm. Then, I could have not only Hyrule, but the whole world. But the problem was, how was I going to get them? I know where they are, so I can use my power, and get them for myself. Then persuade the king to make an alliance. Once they have my trust, stealing the ocarina should be easy. The only thing that is stopping me, you ask? It's that damn hero!

Taking him out should be easy, however. He's a child, what can he do to stop me, the great and powerful Dorf? Nothing. Nothing at all!

I did have reign over that kingdom, however, for it was only seven years. Then that boy stopped me! I honestly thought that he would have died by now. And, that traitor, Sheik. If I would have known that she was Zelda, I could have easily gotten the Triforce of Wisdom from her pretty little corpse. Then taking out the boy, and getting the Triforce of Courage would have been easy.

But, it was not so. I still remember that day when they were children in the courtyard.

"See the man with the evil eyes?" Zelda asked.

"Yeah," the boy responded.

"His name is Dorf."

"DORF! Are you SERIOUS!"

"Yes, I am. Be quiet Link, he might hear you!"

"Sorry."

"Anyway, I need you to…"

Unfortunately for them, I heard every word they had said.

Because of those children, I live on today in anger. Anger that everyone mocks me for my failures. Anger that my entire race died out. Anger that I wasn't able to succeed in ruling over the throne. Anger for that boy. Anger for myself in not succeeding in my mission. Anger for those two children. Anger for Zelda. Anger for that boy.

Anger in everything. Anger in life.

Now, I do live on. In mockery.

"The man surrounded in fire. His name is Dorf."

"Dorf?! Are you serious? That's such a stupid name!"

"The King of Darkness, Dorf is coming back."

"His name is DORF?! You can't be serious?"

"Our enemy, the great Gerudo prince. He is called Dorf."

The heroes laugh.

They all do. Each and every time. And, every time, guess what happens. I fail. Every damn time. Never once have I succeeded.

If they didn't mock me. Just once. Maybe, something would happen. Something good for them. Maybe…

-Dorf Dragmire

AN- Sorry this was a short one. This was actually going to be for 'Legend of Crack!, but it turned out more angst than funny, so now its it's own thing. Did I get the it thingy right in the last sentence? Oh well! Anyway, hope you like it and reviews are appreciated!

-My Little Dodongo