Sigyn mourns her husband's death...
Hey guys,
so here it is another one shot from one of my fanfictions "Evil Angel" But please don't worry if you haven't read "Evil Angel" just know that Sigyn is Loki's wife and this one shot happens when Loki falls from the Bifrost and remember in my version of story Sigyn has the power of foresight. As you may know Sigyn was supposed to marry someone named Theoric in comics, I used that reference in this one shot although in my version Sigyn was forced to marry him, instead Loki shows up disguised as Theoric, the only one who knows the truth is Sigyn herself.
Just little one shot of how Sigyn, The royal wife, feels when Loki falls off the bridge.
"Forgiven"
Couldn't save you from the start …
I walk on the broken bridge, on the edge. They say… if I fall, I fall forever. But I walk… I won't stop. I won't stop looking down, and I'm thinking… I am not afraid of falling because I've already fallen. But they keep staring… they stare… and they tear my heart apart… Am I dead? Am I alive?
Love you so it hurts my soul…
Shuddering. My mind is scattered and disarrayed. Deep inside, there's a hole filled with agonizing pain. The pain of a duty I failed to fulfill. And I'm asking myself, Did fate deceive me once again? I look down… and down, I see a deep black-hearted ocean. Is it a vision? a horrifying nightmare? something I see? something I can finally stop? but by gods… how the Norns laugh at me for thinking that I could stop it from happening. As I dwell on the past, the moments, the moments I'd hoped would last forever and ever and ever… they've blown away so fast.
Can you forgive me for trying again?
You slip, stealing my heart away, though I take your hand, afraid to lose you, but again and again it happens as you fall. but I'm a ghost, and no matter how much I try, I'm a ghost: I can't hold you, I can't draw you up, and I fail thousands of times, like a fool… though I try afresh to help one lonely soul, I feel I have betrayed.
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Time has passed you by
How unfair that I breathe in this suffocating silence as shadows of the past keep crawling around me, haunting my world…
There stands a man, dressed in dark shades of green-black majestic armor. A man disguised as a noble, as the betrothal they have chosen for me. but I smile, and they wonder, they wonder how I can smile at a man I felt disgust for just the other day. and they think I have given up, that I agreed to their conditions. but they don't know… we both whisper they don't know… they'll never know. And I walk to him. In the long narrowed hall, filled with nobles and royal families, I walk on a long red carpet ornamented with thousands of white cherry blossoms. My eyes keep focused on his green ones, and he smiles … and how beautifully his eyes shine, like a pair of emerald jewels.
My long white gown streams behind me, my hands fold in front of me, and I keep walking. the bells ring, and my heart is beating fast, and I hold my breath. I want to run… I want to hold his hands; I want to start a life of my own, next to him forever as I rip apart the fates the Norns had braided for us. I write a new page, I braid a new fate for us.
Eye to eye. We are just inches apart, and I am the only one who sees through his veil, his heart on his sleeve for the first time as our hands touch.
"Sigyn, daughter of Ahura, Will you take an oath to be true to Theoric Gunnarson in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and honor him all the days of your life, today, tomorrow, and forever? "
Loki… I mouth, eyes melting from his stirred eyes, "I will," I say aloud, standing on my tip toes so my forehead touches his cold firm jaw.
"Theoric Gunnarson, Will you take an oath to be true to Sigyn, daughter of Ahura, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and honor her all the days of your life, today, tomorrow, and forever? "
"You are mine," he whispers so only I can hear, "I will"
"May Yggdrasil bless your souls and cherish your life, I now pronounce you as man and wife," The old priest gestures at him. "You may now kiss your bride."
He takes me in his arms, his long fingers tracing down my half-naked back; I shiver at his delicate touch. Then he leans closer, eyes closed, and he gently pulls me into his embrace. And no matter how cold his body is, I feel like I'm on fire. and as we unleashed, fire and ice meet, and we melt into each other like no one is watching and we really don't care. We won't let go, not now… not ever. Do you remember… our vows? In life and in death… forever and ever until time remains.
How cruel… how harrowing… time passed on us and the images die into nothingness. I scream into the heart of a cruel abyss, this void… this void filled with sorrows will be the death of me.
Oh, for so long I've tried to shield you from world
Oh you couldn't face the freedom on your own
Unable to continue on without you, unable to breathe, and the blame is on me. Should've been there when you fell, should've warned you from the beginning, because I knew. I have seen this day coming yet I was unable to change it, unable to gather the pieces of what is already broken, shattered and lost in oblivion. No matter how much I tried to protect you from the truth, it seems I was destined to fail from the start. Face your monsters, face your demons and I'll always be with you, we fight them together, we eradicate them, burn them down to roots. We stay together … we fight… we…we…we…
And words now… they seem too empty to have meaning, to be real and to be felt, though there were once the unspoken truths.
Here I am left in silence
Grief. If it had claws, it could tear my throat; if it had paws, it could rip my heart out. the grief of losing you to something you aren't, and you would never want to be. The grief of living in peace while you torture and burn, lonely, desolate, withdrawn… in a barren space, out of reach, out of touch. Perhaps it is a curse that has fallen upon us, drawing us away from each other as I cry in silence, and you burn in darkness.
You gave up the fight
Wondering why…
You left me behind
How desolated I have become…
Though, you'll always be mine
I know deep inside
I believe in you. As faithful soul to you, I assure you that…
All that's done's forgiven
On the edge, my feet dangling off the broken colors of the rainbow bridge, I watch how the sky seems too peaceful, too blue. it hurts my eyes… my crimson hair dances around me as the cool breeze brushes it off my skin.
I watch the clouds drifting away
The sun is shining, washing away the sorrows, washing away the pain; people laugh, people are revived. Warmth touches their souls, pouring its light on them to melt the frosted thoughts away.
Still The sun can't warm my face
I know it was destined to go wrong.
I fought destiny. I fought what was foreseen. I saw a child, vulnerable, abandoned, and left to die in the land of frost and frozen rocks. And my heart burned as I saw a future in his eyes. Monster, they called him. Monsters, they were themselves. I took him in my arms, I shielded him from the cold, I gave him a life, I gave him a purpose to live, to continue. Father has warned me of this day… predictors should be icy-hearted. Never feel, never touch, never cry as you see visions, you see people born, live and die. You watch them as they burn, you write a gospel, you send it to other realms to be a byword. They warned me. changing a destiny, changing a fate leads the way to bottomless pits of wrongness. I was a rebellious girl… no… I didn't listen, I never listened.
And, You were looking for the great escape
To chase your demons away
Killing them off, destroying the land you were born in. No one knew, no one cared how you felt, but I knew, but I cared. But… It was too late, and we fell. One off the bridge, the other from grace, abandoned for deceiving their families. We both fell… we both shattered, and we lost each other… in the void. In the swirling, hungry mouth of space… we fell apart… far…far… apart.
Oh for so long I've tried to shield from the world
Oh you couldn't face the freedom on your own
Here I am left in darkness
You gave up the fight, you left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You always be mine
I know that deep inside
All that's done's forgiven
Everything turned out so wrong
The fine fate I braided, thinking it would never be torn apart, turned into ashes. What would I be without you?
Why did you leave me in silence?
I hope you enjoyed, so if you did, drop a review please
Italic lines are Lyrics from the song "Forgiven" by Within Temptation, though I may have changed some words between them which are not italic
Special thanks to my great dear friend, supportive and Beta-reader LoquaciousQuibbler