TITLE: Spring, spring, what a wonderful thing
AUTHOR: Mizzy
DISCLAIMER: The sandbox that is Harry Potter does not belong to me, and I will return everything, including buckets and spades to JKRowling, Warner Bros, Scholastic Books, et. al. when I'm done. It's just a fan fiction, no money exchanged hands.
SUMMARY: Slash. Harry has a little bit of Spring Fever.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Someone was trying to persuade me that people wouldn't mind some of the finished stupid fics I have on my hard-drive but am too embarassed to post. (I forget who.) So I'm trying to post one of them. If you don't like it, it's not my fault, I wasn't going to upload it. ;) Oh, and somehow bizarrely (it doesn't relate to the fic at all) inspired from the terrifically bad joke:
Q What's rude and costs £25 a barrel?
A Crude Oil
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The sun was shining, the birds were singing, exams were months away… Harry was having the time of his life. Swinging his bag by his side, he hummed a little tune to himself and tried very hard not to skip down the hallway. He'd got some very strange looks from Seamus and Dean last time he'd attempted that particular activity.
"I just love Hogwarts in the Spring," Harry sighed; turning to grin inanely at Hermione and Ron. Ron looked entirely chagrined, having been awoken abruptly by Harry opening the curtains at four in the morning and he merely scowled. Harry blissfully ignored him and looked at Hermione. The bushy haired witch stared at him mindlessly for a few seconds before she shrugged gracefully. "It's almost as pretty as Hogwarts in the autumn…" he finished; sighing wistfully and staring out one of the windows; green eyes lost in a dream world.
"What the hell is up with him?" Ron hissed grouchily to Hermione. Hermione shrugged; perplexed.
"I've no idea," Hermione said, blinking, as Harry began to whistle. "There's no way he should be so cheerful, especially since we've got double Potions with the Slytherins next."
"The Slytherins are really nice people, don't you think they're really nice people?" Harry said dreamily; snapping Hermione and Ron back to reality – if it could be called as such.
"What?" Ron started
to freak out. "Right, as soon as this
lesson is over, I'm taking you to Madam Pomfrey's…"
"Already been to see her," Harry said absent-mindedly. "He took me. She says all I've got is a little dose of spring fever."
Hermione blinked and started to look very thoughtful.
"Who took you?" Ron asked suddenly; his brow creased in confusion.
"He did," Harry said flippantly again; rounding the corner and walking into the dark Potions classroom. Exchanging identical worried looks, Hermione and Ron quickly followed him; independently deciding they were going to keep a very close eye on him.
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"Mr. Potter."
The calm, cutting words of the Professor filled the stifling heat of the classroom like a toxic gas and everyone turned curiously to watch the Potions professor stand menacingly over Harry and his merrily bubbling cauldron. The thick liquid inside was a cheery yellow and orange and Harry was still smiling away to himself.
Blinking, Harry looked up at the Professor. "Yes sir?"
The professor disdainfully dropped the ladle into the cauldron and lifted it up again; slopping the merry coloured liquid back into the potion. "It's supposed to be purple."
"Ah," Harry said delicately; frowning. "I think mine might be a little wrong, sir."
"I think mine might be a little wrong –" Snape started to mimic, garnering a few sniggers from the Slytherins before he paused, and frowned. "In fact… Smiling even though no-one else is, elevated temperature, excessive cheerfulness even for a Gryffindor, looking forward to potions…"
"Madam Pomfrey said I have Spring Fever," Harry supplied helpfully. Snape's eyes narrowed.
"It's worse than that, Potter." Snape snickered to himself. "You're in love."
The entire room gasped and Harry stared, horrified, at the Professor.
"What?" Harry gasped; the smile leaving is face at an amazing speed. Hermione and Ron looked similarly bewildered.
"I know, sickening isn't it," Snape sighed; starting to turn away. "Oh, and you can redo your potion in detention."
"Thank you, sir," Harry said; looking a little troubled as he started to clean up the yellow gloop. Snape, looking a little disturbed, turned back to the class.
"I have to… go get something from my office. I shall be back in five minutes…" the Potion master paused in the door, and Ron could almost hear him muttering something about crazy Potters and spring time.
Harry scowled as he realised that Professor Snape had dribbled some of the yellow gloop onto the floor while demonstrating it to the class. Then he swore out loud as he realised it was eating through the floor.
"It's corrosive," he said uncertainly; standing back and bumping into another table. An irritated sigh directed at him caused Harry to turn around and wince as he realised whose table he'd bumped into. The piercing grey eyes burning into his own and dishevelled blond hair made Harry grin.
"Careful, Potter," Draco said; narrowing his eyes at Harry.
"Sorry," Harry said; blinking in confusion at the Slytherin. "Hey! Why didn't you tell me I was in love, any way, huh?"
A blink. Draco's mouth dropped open. Harry felt an arm pull at his sleeve.
"Harry, you're crazy, leave him alone before Snape can take points from us," Ron hissed; eyes flashing dangerously.
"I thought you knew," Draco said, a little dazedly. "Jeez, I knew you were dumb, but I didn't think you were that dumb…"
Harry blinked at Draco. "Hmm. OK."
"Perhaps I should take you back to Madam Pomfrey," Draco said; biting his lip.
"You mean he took you?" Ron stared at Harry; his eyes wide and mouth open. Harry blinked at Ron; his expression one of mild confusion.
"I told you he took me," Harry said; his tone laced with complete bewilderment.
"No, you said he took you, you didn't say HE took you," Ron yelled; his face starting to turn red.
"But I did say he took me," Harry said; shaking his head and rolling his eyes to the ceiling.
"But –-" Ron stared at Harry before turning away and shrugging to Hermione as if to say 'I tried!'
"Any way, so you have Spring Fever?" Draco asked; ignoring the dagger shooting glares that Ron and some of the other Gryffindors were shooting in his direction.
"Hmm-mm," Harry agreed; blinking as he looked inside Draco's cauldron. "So that's what it's supposed to look like? Weird. I was sure it should be yellow." He paused. "I wonder what would happen if we mixed the two?"
Draco winced. "Don't even try it, Potter. Please. Last time… I just couldn't get the green out of my hair…"
"Oh please, it looked cute," Harry said; grinning again.
Draco blinked. "Cute?" He shook his head in disgust. "This is almost as bad as when you were drunk…"
"If I remember rightly, you were the one to get me drunk," Harry said; pouting. Draco smiled at Harry quickly, then frowned.
"What?" Harry blinked at Draco.
"What on earth is going on up there?"
Harry blinked and his eyes widened. Turning around in horror, he saw that his yellow slime had eaten right through the stone floor and now there was a gaping hole right down through to Professor McGonagall and her third year class.
"It's all right, Professor, I've just got spring fever and found out I'm in love with Draco, everything's fine!" Harry bellowed down through the hole before picking up his wand and giving it a half-hearted wave. There was an explosion and all the books shot out of one of the big bookcases lining the wall. Looking horrified, Draco quickly skirted around the edge of the table and leaned down the hole.
"Sorry, Professor," he called quickly before whipping out his wand and quickly
repairing the hole.
"Nifty," Harry said; wobbling a little.
Draco grabbed hold of the black-haired seventh year and pulled him
upright.
"Better get you to the infirmary," Draco said; looking concerned.
"Hmm-mm," Harry agreed; fainting into Draco's arms. The blond looked a little annoyed but picked up the seeker anyway; Harry's head lolling against his shoulder. Draco was about to move when he looked at Harry again.
"You're still awake aren't you?" Draco asked accusingly; the note of laughter in his voice betraying his obvious humour at what was going on.
"No," Harry mumbled; keeping his eyes shut.
"Idiot," Draco sighed; pressing a brief kiss into Harry's shock of dark hair. He looked up, grinning foolishly, to be met by a wide-eyed Potions class. Deep cerulean and indigo bubbling liquids were bubbling over the edge of the cauldrons; forgotten. Pansy Parkinson looked like a statue, Blaise Zabini had fainted and Ron and Hermione looked like they'd just discovered they had detention with Snape for a month. "What?" Draco said flippantly as he caught their horrified stares. He blinked back accusingly. "So sue me for wanting to date the cutest guy in school," he said brusquely as he stomped out of the Potions class.
Hermione blinked rapidly and then gave a small shriek. The forgotten cauldrons had completely boiled over and the liquid had made the floor (and most of their feet) completely translucent. Professor McGonagall looked like she was having an apoplectic fit and the third year class were in hysterics that that could happen to a seventh year class.
Just as Ron and Hermione thought it couldn't get any worse, Professor Snape returned; paling perceptibly at the sight of his room before declaring detention for the entire class who were present.
Ron exchanged a glance with Hermione, looking entirely displeased, angry and perplexed at the same time.
"You know what?" Ron snorted derisively.
"What?" Hermione asked quietly; somewhat chagrined at the turn of events.
Ron cast a hopeless look outside, where it had just begun to hail. Out of nowhere. In the middle of a sunny, spring day. "I really, really hate Spring," he moaned.
"Tell me about it," Hermione sighed as Professor Snape looked like he was going to explode. "Bu-HEY!"
Whatever Hermione was going to say next was obscured by her sudden gasp of pain.
"That hurt, didn't it," Ron said morosely.
Hermione nodded; looking astounded and hurt. "Yes!
What did you do it for?"
"I was seeing if it was a dream or not," Ron said; wondering why Hermione was glaring at him like that and looking like he'd mortally wounded her.
"You're supposed to pinch yourself you moronic Weasley!" Looking completely affronted, Hermione ignored Snape and stalked out of the classroom; face red.
Snape raised an eyebrow at Ron.
"She has spring fever too," he quickly explained.
At the Professor's continued grave stare, Ron decided to shut up and stay shut up until Spring was over. He knew it definitely couldn't come soon enough. He hated Spring, completely, absolutely, even worse than Snape. Even worse than double potions. Even worse than Malfoy. Even worse than spiders. Even, Ron reflected, worse than Mondays and that was definitely saying something. He wasn't even surprised when it started raining cats and dogs and intermittingly hailing taxis. In spring, nothing surprised him. Nothing at all.
Ron sighed as he started to clean up the mess on his and Hermione's table, vowing to get infected by Spring Fever as soon as possible. He hoped it was soon. Next time he had to step outside and right into a poodle he wanted to be ready.
He was quietly surprised by Seamus dropping down next to
him, scrubbing at the translucent floor with a cloth. "Do you think there's possibly an alternate reality out there
where Spring isn't such a nightmare?"
Ron thought about it for a second and for a moment could almost picture a reality where Snape wouldn't have left for five minutes, where the floor wouldn't be translucent, where Hermione wouldn't storm out of a Potions lesson, where no-one could catch Spring Fever and where when you walked outside there wasn't the chance you couldn't get hit by a hissing Siamese or a bright yellow New York taxi cab. Then he shrugged.
"We would be so lucky," he sniffed.
"Yeah, you're probably right," Seamus sighed; wincing as a long-haired blue Persian cat hit the window with a snarl. "Still, you gotta wonder."
"Yeah," Ron said wistfully. "You gotta wonder."
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The end…
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A/N: Yeah, I stuck it so this universe is an alternate universe to the one Harry and co. usually inhabit… So sue me, I like this one! Actually don't sue me! Harry Potter doesn't belong to me!!!!!!!!!!!!
