Title: Hollywood Beware
Rating: PG-13 for language, drug references, and whatever weirdo stuff that happens.
Characters: Kurt, Jeff, Helms, Doink, Rob, Rocky, Luke, Becca, Jo, and myself
Distribution: FF.net, My Board, and WWE Fan Fic Central. If you would like a copy please e-mail me first: casey@kurt-angle.net
Disclaimer: The wrestlers belong to Vinnie Mac and Titan Sports. Jo and Becca belong to me, as does Luke. Doink belongs to Luke and T-Boy has an equal share to those listed as well.
Author: Casey
A/N: Well here we go finally. This should be fun yet odd as always. I would also like to plug my fic board. If you want to read my slash fics then check it out. I never post them at FF. You can find the link under our profile page. Everyone is welcomed to post there as well. Ok enough rambling lets get this show on the road.
"Take one down pass it around, 35 cartons of milk on the wall!" Kurt blared as we drive down the road in our bus.
"Kurt, can you shut-up, please?" Becca asks annoyed by his horrible singing.
"I don't wanna." Kurt pouts. "34 cartons of…OUCH!"
"I said shut-up." Becca smiles after slapping Kurt in the back of the head.
Kurt pouts and everyone else just laughs. Jo is sitting right behind me with Jeff handcuffed to a seat in the isle.
"Why are we on a school bus anyway?" Jo asks looking around.
"I just thought it would be a good idea." I reply trying not to laugh at Jeff as he gets flung helplessly around in the isle.
"It's hot." Jo whines trying to get her window down.
"We are in California, of course it's hot."
"What movie is this anyway?" Rob asks seeming less interested than he should be.
"Walking Tall and shame on you for not knowing that." Becca scowls.
"Dude, I don't follow The Rock like the rest of you do."
"He's my husband. I really have no choice."
"What about me?" Kurt whines.
"What about you?"
"URGH." Kurt yells crossing his arms on his chest.
"Are we there yet?" Jeff asks as he bounces around in the floor.
"Actually yeah we are."
"Wow that's never happened before." Jeff replies looking amazed.
I pull the bus into a large parking lot that looks like a set for a western movie. There are horses and cows everywhere along with watering troughs and cowboys. Half the bus goes out the fire exit in the back and the rest of us make our way out the front. Becca automatically starts running around hollering for Rocky. I smile and walk over to her.
"Excited about seeing him?" I ask starting to look for him as well.
"ROCKY!" She yells taking off towards the dark figure walking towards us.
She jumps in his arm and tackle hugs him, knocking him off his feet. They both laugh and hug tightly. Becca stands next to him as if she were guarding him.
"DJ." I say simply walking up and hugging him.
"Hey guys. I'm glad you could came see me."
"Dude, don't you mean The Rock is glad?" Rob asks.
"No. When I'm in Hollywood I'm Dwayne."
"Oh." Rob says shrugging his shoulders and walking off.
"Robster, where are you going?"
"To hell you want to come?"
"I'm already there." I laugh.
I see Jo and Jeff take off running towards the horses in the back of the set. I turn back around to talk to Dwayne when I see him and Becca disappear around the corner.
"Well I never!" I say annoyed.
I turn around to see who is left with me and see I am all alone.
"The Hurricane is here."
"Like I said I'm all alone."
"Why are you always so…what the hell?" Helms asks as he gets pelted in the head with something.
He looks down to see horse crap lying at his feet. He makes a disgusted face and wipes at his head where it hit him. A few seconds' later Jeff starts laughing and we see another piece of horse crap go flying. Jo joins him and starts pelting it as well. Shane and I scatter, hiding behind a tree.
"What in the blue hell is wrong with the two of you?" I yell.
"It's not freakin snow balls." Kurt says joining us at our hiding spot.
"It's horse shit for crying out loud!"
"EWWW!" We hear them both scream.
"I thought it was old snow or something." Jo says looking disgusted.
"Snow that smells like shit?" Luke asks walking up with a snow cone.
"Where did you get that?" Jeff asks his eyes popping out of his head.
"I don't know. I just had it in my hand." Luke replies shrugging his shoulders.
"I want one! I want one! I want one!" Jeff yells.
"Me too! Me Too! Me too!" Kurt adds.
"Fine. Here."
Snow cones appear in Kurt and Jeff's hands. Jeff smiles at the rainbow colors and Kurt frowns.
"I don't like green. I want red." He whines.
"To bad, Kurt. You get green. You either eat that or I am kicking your ass."
Kurt mumbles something and walks off sitting under a tree. I see Becca and Dwayne appear and walk over to where we are. Dwayne gives us the people's eyebrow at the horse hit all over the place.
"Jeff and Jo thought they were old snowballs."
"Jabronies!" Dwayne says shaking his head.
"Has anyone seen Doink?" Luke asks. "He was here just a few seconds ago."
"Great we lost the insane clown." Becca says looking around nervously.
"He shouldn't be that hard to find, he's a clown." I say looking around.
Dwayne rubs his neck nervously. "Actually being that this is a western set we have a lot of clowns around."
"What in the blue hell for? Its not a rodeo story." I say shaking my head.
A few seconds later a yell is heard.
"There he is." Luke responds jogging off towards the noise.
"Hey DJ. Turn around for me, please." I say smiling evilly.
Dwayne gives me a confused look and turns around. My eyes go directly to his butt.
"Just as I thought."
"What?"
"Your ass looks FINE in Wranglers."
JO laughs. "She doesn't ever think about anything else does she?"
"Nope." Becca replies. "I have to add though it does look nice."
"Stop looking at The Great One's butt." Dwayne replies seeming annoyed.
"Hey why can she look and I can't?"
"Because she is my wife."
"I don't care. I want to look too."
Dwayne starts to say something when we here Kurt start screaming at the top of his lungs. We look over to see Luke and Doink holding him up and walking towards a horse trough. They throw him in and the water splashes out and Kurt starts crying.
"This isn't fair!" he whines. "I'm all wet now, dang it!"
"Ha! HA! You got thrown in dirty horse water." Luke laughs.
Kurt jumps out of the water and lunges at Luke. Doink steps in front of him and hits him in the head with his rubber mallet, knocking him out.
"Thanks!" Luke says proudly.
"No problem." Doink replies hitting Luke with the mallet and running off.
Luke rubs his head and takes off after Doink. We all shake our head.
"Want to see the set?" Dwayne asks.
"I've already seen it." Becca says proudly.
I feel jealousy start to rise. "Yeah well I have seen more of The Great One's "set" then you will ever see!"
Becca rolls her eyes. "Casey, stop getting all defensive. He is like my brother and not my type."
"What do you mean not your type? What's wrong with The Rock?" Dwayne asks.
"Nothing you're just not my type."
"Oh and The Has Been Kid and Jerijerk are?"
"Yes they are and don't talk about them like that!"
"You need your eyes checked because The Great One is ten times the man they will ever be, baby." He adds tugging at the waist of his pants.
"Would you two stop arguing for five minutes?" I ask annoyed.
"NO!" They both yell in unison.
"Damn sorry for trying to play the peace maker."
A few seconds later we see Jo tackle Jeff, knocking him to the ground. We all watch as she ropes him like a calf and throws her hands up in the air after his arms and legs are tied together. Jeff squirms on the ground and moans.
"Impressive." A short fat man says.
"Thanks and you are?"
"The director nice to meet you. You want a part in the movie?"
"Hell yeah!" Jo says walking off with the director.
"Looks like you got a new acting partner." I say to Dwayne who sighs.
Kurt wakes up and runs over to Jeff's aide. He unties him and they start singing the bunny song. Everyone groans and puts their fingers in their ears. Luke and Doink walk over and join them. They start yelling the words to the song doing all the motions as well.
"Kill me, please." Helms whines.
"OK." I say shooting him with a gun.
Shane falls over dead and everyone looks at me.
"What?"
"Where did you get that?" Becca asks pointing at my gun.
"Same place Stephanie got hers in out Zombie adventure."
"Oh and nice shameless plug. Thanks."
"NO problem. Well is everyone ready to go home now?"
"You don't have to." Dwayne says.
"Come home with us for a bit, Rocky. I want to do a muse interaction with you and Steve when we get home."
"OK." Dwayne says walking to the bus with us.
"Why are you guys in a bus?"
"I asked her the same thing." Jo responds seeming to appear out of nowhere.
Everyone gets on the bus and we tackle Jeff back to the ground, handcuffing him to the isle. I sit down behind the huge wheel and start the bus up pulling off.
"I feel like we are forgetting something." Becca says looking around.
"I'm sure its nothing."
"Dude's where are you going?" Rob whines as he watches the bus drive off. "Great now I'm stuck in the old west. Oh well time to get high."
~The End~
A/N: I hope you enjoyed our trip. I really hope Walking Tall will be done with Rocky in a cowboy hat in Wranglers! Oh god he would look fine! It's a remake of the 70's version where he is playing a town sheriff so one can only hope! PLEASE WEAR WRANGLERS, DWAYNE!