Her large blue eyes opened weakly as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. She tried to keep awake, to shake out the blow to her head from just a few moments ago. What had happened to her? She couldn't remember.

From downstairs, she heard the clash of swords. A sickening thud as a small body hit the floor hard. The sound of laughter, sinister and triumphant.

Her eyes widened.

"No," she moaned, "No."

Her glassy fingernails scrabbling against the marble floor, she dragged her bruised body to the landing and pulled herself up so she could gaze over the balcony. From her perch up high, she could see the two figures battling, their eyes locked on each other, one's desperate struggle to live, and the other's half-crazed pursuit to kill.

Deep inside her, a sort of passion ignited.

Her body was broken, her spirit even more so. But for the first time in nearly thirty-six years, she had something worth fighting for. Something even more than her life.

* * *

"Miss Black, please pay attention!"

Professor McGonagall's wand rapped harshly on the table. Narcissa Black jumped and sat up straighter, face blushing furiously amid her classmates' giggles. She stared straight ahead, barely managing to whisper, "Yes, ma'am."

Behind her, she could hear James Potter whisper, "Not too bright now, is she?" His friends chortled with glee, and Narcissa's face burned even brighter when she heard her cousin Sirius' chuckle. She hated class, she hated school.

Just then, her friend's reassuring hand reached over and touched hers lightly.

"Ignore them," Lily Potter whispered gently, "Just ignore all of them."

Grateful for her friend's words, Narcissa felt some of the blush in her cheeks lightening slowly. She picked up her quill again and tried to take some more notes on Vanishing Charms. She'd always done poorly on them, even though they were remarkably easy, especially for sixth years. Lily had helped her get through her O.W.L.s, but she wouldn't really be there for her N.E.W.Ts, so Narcissa knew she would have to practice twice as hard.

It wasn't like her to daydream in class. Not like her at all. But somehow, ever since last week, she hadn't managed to pay attention whatsoever. There was only room for one thought in her head at a time.and that thought was filled with Remus Lupin.

Though they had been seeing each other for nearly three months now, Narcissa hadn't thought of Remus as anything more than a close friend and someone to study with. Until last week, when Remus' life had been threatened.

He had cared for her enough to trust her with his deepest secret: the fact that he was a werewolf. Narcissa had been shocked at first, but it hadn't particularly bothered her, especially since she was already engaged to Lucius Malfoy. He had just been someone to be friends with, maybe date casually on the sly. She didn't dare fall in love with him - that would be silly and only lead both him and her into danger. Lucius was only twenty, but he was already a powerful persona in the Ministry of Magic, and nobody dared cross him, not even his betrothed.

But last week, two things had happened that had changed Narcissa's outlook on life completely.

The first had come as a complete surprise. It had come by owl post on a Tuesday morning, the day before Remus was sent to the hospital wing. Narcissa had only just woken up when her female barn owl, Sapphire, had flown into the window and deposited a piece of parchment into her hands. It was written and addressed by a Mrs. Andromeda Tonks.

No, Narcissa had thought as she looked at the name in amazement. No.she couldn't have.

But the letter read as such:

Dearest Narcissa, I'm writing to tell you that I shall probably never see you again. Mother and Father have disinherited me and will never let me back into the presence again. I would apologize but I must tell you, I do not feel sorry in the least for what I have done. I wanted to tell you beforehand, but I could not risk Mother and Father being angry at you as well, not without your agreement.

Narcissa, I have broken my engagement with Evan Rosier. I know this must come as a surprise, what with the wedding being scheduled for only this summer, but I must tell you that I could not live a lie any longer. I find Evan a hateful man, with no love for any woman, and I could never live with him. But this is not my only reason for breaking the engagement. I have fallen in love with a Muggle named Theodore Tonks, whom I met during my Healer's training at St. Mungo's. He asked me to marry him, and I accepted. We were married two days ago in a private ceremony.

I expect that you are probably very angry with me for going off and deserting you, Narcissa, and I am truly sorry for hurting you, if I have. I know that you think that life with Mother, Father, and Trixie is extremely difficult, and that you have always leaned on me for guidance, but you must think for yourself now. Your marriage to Lucius Malfoy takes place one year from June 13th. I beg of you, if you have fallen in love with another, not to be coerced into a life you do not want any part of. I have met your future husband, and I fear for your happiness, Narcissa, darling. I do not know if there is anyone at school whom you fancy, but I beg of you to look. I love you more than anyone in that unit I once called my family, and I hope that you find nothing but love and happiness, all that Ted and I have and more.

I must ask you not to write to me until this storm has blown over between our parents and I. I do not want you falling into trouble without your full consent, and I fear that you will, if you continue communication with me. Know that I still love you and I will miss you every moment that we are apart. Remember what I said, my darling sister. I pray that someday we will indeed meet again.

Yours always, with the greatest love,

Andromeda Black Tonks

The second event was another surprise, but one that Narcissa had felt had definitely been coming. She had been reading Andromeda's letter for what she felt was the nine hundredth time when someone had come up behind her and shaken her shoulder sharply. She had dropped the letter into her lap as if it were a hot poker and turned about.

It was Sirius, and he was looking sullen.

"He wants you," he said coldly, "God knows why, but it's you he wants."

"Who?" Narcissa asked, knowing full well who Sirius meant."

"Remus," he replied just as coldly, "He's in the hospital wing. He wants you to go to him. Madam Pomfrey's not thrilled, but there's really nothing as to be done about it; Dumbledore insists you see him if you can."

Narcissa jumped to her feet and stuffed the letter into the pocket of her uniform skirt. She ran out of the room and took the stairs two at a time, all the way up to the hospital wing. She knew that, in Lupin's position, he was in nearly constant danger. But what if something horrible had happened to him, something that couldn't be fixed? Her heart was pounding in her throat as she wrenched open the door to the hospital wing.

Madam Pomfrey was bent over the last bed in one of the rows. And in the bed, looking sweaty and pale, grasping the sheets in his white hands, was Remus. His eyes widened when he saw her.

"Narcissa!" he whispered.

She darted over to the bed, slipping ever so slightly on the waxed floor. Madam Pomfrey looked at her disapprovingly.

"Please," Remus begged softly, "Please let me see her."

"For a few minutes only," Madam Pomfrey warned, backing away ever so slightly, with one index finger raised, "I don't want you getting all excited, you're sick enough as it is." She turned to Narcissa and stared at her, "Don't get him upset, he'll only get worse. He's not well enough for visitors as it is."

"I promise I'll behave," Narcissa swore, although she would have lied about anything to get to stay for just a minute. But why was that? Something was uneasy in her chest.

Madam Pomfrey left them alone, and Remus reached out one pale hand. Narcissa took it and sat in the stiff-backed chair next to him.

"I was afraid they wouldn't let you come," he whispered, "I missed you so." He reached out and grazed her shimmering blonde hair with just his fingertips. "You look so beautiful to me right now," he told her, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

Narcissa blushed slightly, squeezing his hand in hers, "What did Madam Pomfrey say? What happened to you?"

Remus' eyes dropped for a minute, as if he was unsure of what to say. Then he looked up at her again.

"Snape found out," he said.

Narcissa felt her heart skip a beat. "He what?" she whispered.

Remus shrugged helplessly, "Sirius thought it would be funny to send him to the Whomping Willow and get beaten horribly, trying to figure out where I was going every month. He told him how to push the knot that freezes the tree. But what he hadn't banked on was that Snape got through the tree's defenses." He shrugged again, his eyes boring into hers, in terrible pain, "James caught him and dragged him back before I could hurt him.but he saw me." He covered his face with his hands, "I'll never forget.those horrified eyes. He recognized me. And now he knows me for what I am."

Narcissa stared at him, terrified, "But.he can't tell, Remus, he just can't! Dumbledore will stop him!"

"That's what he's promised to do," Remus said softly, looking away from her again, "He said that he has forbidden Snape to ever speak of this event to anyone ever again. But I don't know if Snape will keep his word.he's always hated James, and Sirius.and me." His face was haggard now, as well as sick and pale.

Something squeezed Narcissa's heart. She felt as if she might burst inside. What was that painful emotion? Was it pity? Sadness? Or something else...No. It wasn't that. It couldn't be.

"But I wanted to see you, Narcissa," Remus was saying now. He touched her beautiful face again, his eyes wide with sadness and.what was that alien emotion, "I wanted you to hear from me.that this has to be the end."

Now she was shaking inside.

"What?" she asked softly, "What do you mean, Remus?"

"I can't put you in danger," he replied, shaking his head, "I care about you too much to do that. I could never subject you to pain or to harm.Please know that, Narcissa."

"You're leaving me," she whispered dully.

"No!" Remus took her by both hands and forced her to look into his eyes, "It isn't like that, Narcissa. Please understand." His eyes sought hers desperately, "I couldn't bear it if you were hurt or in pain, and it was due to me. Don't you see? I could never live if anyone I loved was hurt because of my secret."

She stared at him. No.it couldn't be.

"Narcissa?" he begged her, "Do you understand?"

She slowly stood up, and took her hands from his. She stared into his eyes, with confusion and terror a mask on her beautiful face.

"No," Remus whispered, tears welling in his eyes, "Don't walk away from me, Narcissa. Please.please understand."

She shook her head slowly and turned. Blindly, she pushed open the door to the hospital wing and tore down the hallway. Tears were streaming down her face as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. She slammed into the stone of one corridor wall as she tried to grasp the situation.

She could never see Remus again, that much was certain. He was going to walk out of her life, leave her alone as if he had never met her. He would pretend she had never existed, leave her to marry Lucius Malfoy, leave her to whatever life lay ahead of her.

But he was doing this.because he loved her.

Narcissa slumped to the bottom of the wall and buried her face in her hands, tears falling like rainwater. Nothing in her life had ever hurt this much. And nothing had ever made her feel so happy, so amazing, so free.

In her entire life, she had never felt loved by any human being. She had lived with her parents, and had always been obedient, had done what they had said. But she had never felt loved, not the way she knew that Lily was loved by her parents. It was a common complaint in the Black family - her cousin Sirius had once told her that "My parents hate me, but it's all right, because I hate them, too."

She didn't love Lucius Malfoy. Certainly not. They had been engaged since she was nine and he was thirteen. From that moment on, she had always known that she was going to marry Lucius Malfoy, and she had never thought otherwise. She just assumed that she would be his wife, be everything she was expected to be.

But now nothing made sense anymore.

She pulled Andromeda's letter out of her pocket. Her eyes fluttered down the page until she found the words that she was searching for.

I beg of you, if you have fallen in love with another, not to be coerced into a life you do not want any part of.

Narcissa's tears fell on the letter, marring the words. She quickly brushed the tears off. For the first time in her orderly, obedient sixteen years, she didn't know what she was going to do. The only thing she was sure of was that everything was going to be different now. Nothing would ever be the same.

She was in love with Remus Lupin.

Determinedly, Narcissa stood up and took a shaky, sobbing breath. She folded the letter and slipped it back into her pocket. Then she closed her eyes and began walking down the hall.unsure of where she was going.knowing she'd never go back.