Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Characters of Lord of the Rings.

Note: The story takes place after the war. This story does get dark at times, and will go up to rating R. I'll inform you on those chapters. I assure you though, there are humorous chapters.

Not to confuse anyone: "-saying '-thinking

Chapter 1 ~Memory Fear~

My lips are formed to

say I'm okay.

I've even given you

a reassuring smile.

But inside of me

I can feel myself rip.

You don't know I'm

telling you a lie.

Her luscious hatred kissed me.

Now, my mind has been tortured.

My body scorn.

I'm relishing in my mistakes,

in my horrid ugliness.

Sometimes the silence is so loud.

I'd like to slit my throat with misery.

I'd like to hang myself

with these malevolent memories.

Loneliness is my friend.

Crimson tears will never

form in my hidden eyes.

Only tears of blood you will see.

You will never meet the real me,

feel the pain in my heart.

Because I will always defiantly say

That I'm Okay.

The site was almost haunting, leaves that were once green had now been deprived of that rich color. Colors of yellow and orange danced in the air as the wind clutched the leaves and were torn from the trees. The essence of fall was in the air. The cold, cracked concrete was covered with yellow leaves, but were disturbed as laughing children walked over the foliage, making incessant crackling sounds. A blanket of brittle grass covered the land.

Children ran out the school doors, relieved from their boring and repetitious day. Parents' faces gleamed with joy as their children ran to them, and giggled as they were lifted up and hugged. Their mother's perfume overwhelmed the child as they hugged, making the child scrunch their nose. Merry laughter ripped through the vocal cords of children walking home. Bus drivers gave a welcoming smile as children started packing onto the buses. A roar of voices boomed through the buses as the children told their tales of events that happened to them that day.

Every different body shape, hair color, personality walked out of nearby highschool. Teenagers rushed out of the metal school doors, some rushed towards the city buses, pushing their way inside. Couples kissed and said their goodbyes. Band instruments, gym bags were being held as students went to their extracurricular activities. Couches stood on the school fields yelling out commands, and the student followed. Boys, and occasionally girls tackled their peers.

Teenagers quickly left their school, hurrying to go home or elsewhere. Some carried band instruments, others holding the hands of there so-called lover, or were just having a conversation. Some girls giggled and flipped their hair, some flipped their middle finger and snarled. A couple teens walked into the forest with smirks on their faces, going out for a smoke. It seemed that everyone was merrily getting on with their lives.

Cars screeched by, driven by reckless teenagers. One girl pulled herself from a sun-roof, she lifted her hands up and hollered a goodbye to her friends. A cherry belly button ring twinkled on her pierced belly button.

You could hear car doors opening and closing. The town may be small but there was never a moment of silence in this town, everyone frantically trying to get to their destinations. Not very many people noticed the sky was grey, and a storm grew ahead as the winds picked up. The wind dragged a "Person Missing" poster across the street, giving out an annoying scratching sound.

This was being seen and heard from a girl silently standing behind a tree. She looked on at the children, at the parents, at everyone. Though her face was gentle and kind, her eyes revealed something different. The pair of eyes, like cauldrons brewing with revenge, sorrow, disgust, every possible feeling of hate. This was the world she hated, a world that had betrayed her. Sure, she could take her life. Be off with it, but there was always something holding her back. It was that one memory that held her back, the one memory that taunted her often, one memory she went to great lengths to try to forget, but it was there, always haunting her, keeping her alive to torture her.

Everyone wanted to know what was happening to her, but no one dared to find out. Even the gossiping girls didn't want to pry into her life, they knew the chain of events that led up to her silence. But no one knew what happened to her after the incident, the incident that drove her to the point of madness, trying to forget. Everyday, she strived to forget it all, and she had been so successful, but it caused her to become silent, withdrawn, and lost. The sense of life was drained from her veins and replaced with concrete sadness.



The girl had her hands comfortably placed in her pockets. The wind whipped her ebony hair onto her face, leaving a small stinging feeling.

'Bloody hell, its getting cold...maybe I should go home.' The girl thought to herself, but immediately shook her head. She took her hands out of her pocket and placed them her head, and leaned back onto a tree. A small sharp of pain started to creep into her head, the girl quickly clasped her head with her hands. This pain hadn't been felt for awhile, but it was all too familiar.

*******Flashback**********

The room was excruciatingly hot, but no one had bothered to open the windows. The heat greedily stole every space in the house. An ashtray lay on a kitchen table, a cigarette had just been put out as the smoke swirled into the air. The house looked cleaned, too clean, the smell of cleaners was everywhere. No dishes in the sink, the pillows eerily fluffed and positioned in the same way. A home that many would call perfect. This house was so deceiveing, it wasn't perfect, not at all.

" Look at me you little priss when I fucking talk to you! I DO NOT go home for you, I only go home for you sister and my husband, you are a mistake to me! What the hell is wrong with you! What are mute, speak to me!" The woman screamed, a vein on her neck pulsated through her skin.

The girl just sat there, but she didn't cry, she would never let her so-called mother have satisfaction. The woman yelled at her some more, strays of hair glued to her face as pearls of sweat dripped down.

"Why can't you be more like you sister, huh!? Answer ME!" The woman's eyes were filled with anger, one hand pointing at her, the other raised ready to hit her. Spit flew out of her mouth, peppering the little girl's face.

The girl gave out a little whimper, but said nothing. What had she done to deserve this?

The chair was too high, so her feet dangled off the chair, her hand gripped the bottom of the seat, she grasped it tighter as the woman kept yelling at her.

"Stupid child! You're a worthless piece of shit! Get the hell away from here!" The women screamed and glared at the girl in front of her. The little girl jumped down from her seat and took leave of the room, leaving the woman in a pool of hate.

*****End of Flashback*******

'NO!' The girl yelled at herself. Her hands still clutched her head, the pain still lingered.

"No, no, no! I told myself to forget, get them out!" She whispered to herself. It had been months since she had her last memory, but now they were starting to come back. The girl slid her back down the tree, ensnaring slivers of bark into her sweater.

'Stop it! I have to forget!' Dark thoughts started whipping at her, taunting her, tormenting her. The memories had found her again, she didn't know how or why, but she had to get them out.

'Punish, punish, that's what I have to do to forget.' She frantically looked around, then took her wrist and pounded her head.

While beating herself, inside she screamed the words 'Forget' Suddenly that same paralyzing feeling came to her again, her head whipped back onto the tree, not caring of the pain. It felt as if she was being strangled.

*****Flashback********

Lego blocks were scattered around a blue carpet. Little boys crawled on the ground with a small car in their hands. Blonde hair was being pulled as little girls brushed their barbie dolls. Adults roamed around the room smiling at the children, occasionally running towards a child who though play dough was food.

Two girls were sitting alone together on a purple mat, playing hand games, their hands moved rhythmically with the words.

"Hey want to come to my house after school? We'll play tea-house!" The girl with blue eyes questioned the girl with brown eyes.

"Yeah! Sure!" The brown-eyed girl responded, the corners of her mouth were stained with dried chocolate as she smiled.

Hours of sweet relaxation passed, and soon their school day was drawing to an end. The two innocent children walked home, sometimes skipping. They giggled at some boys that passed them by on bikes. Their virgin hair tossed in the wind as they ran together.

Soon the girls crossed the street and stopped in front of a brown house, it had beautiful flowers growing in front of it. The house looked so inviting.

"This is my house! C'mon lets go in!" The blue-eyed girl ran up the stairs.

The two of them stood in the door-way taking off their shoes, suddenly they heard breaking glass.

"You should really go home, hurry."The blue-eyed girl looked at the other girl in despair.

"But I only--"

"Where the hell were you?! HUH? You're suppose to make supper before your father gets here!" The woman's voice roared, a kitchen chair fell onto the ground.

"Hurry, go home." Loud footsteps were getting closer.

The brown-eyed girl put on her shoes as fast as she could, and opened the screen door.

CRASH

"Next time you better get home fucking earlier." The woman said in a dangerous tone

The blue-eyed girl was now against the stairs.

'Was she thrown onto the stairs?' The brown-eyed girl looked through the glass window and saw the woman's hand raised at the blue-eyed girl.

The girl against the stairs trembled with fear, her back ached from her fall, familiar spit was spat onto her face again. She didn't care about the woman yelling at her or the hand about to meet her skin. It was the brown-eyed girl at the door that had her attention, the pity and confusion in her eyes. Finally she ran away from the warm, comfortable brown house. The blue-eyed girl felt relieved that her mother never saw the other girl...

******End of Flashback****

'Make it stop, I want to forget' Grass and dirt stuck to her hands as she dug them into the ground, and then pounded her head again. She tried to stop herself and covered her face with her hands, smudging the dirt onto her face.

'No more, please.' She desperately pulled her hair.

The dry grass was uprooted as she painfully brought her knees up. She clutched her knees and let her head fall onto her knees, chunks of dirt were mangled in her hair. As her head lay on her knees, saliva started drizzling from her mouth, she quickly rubbed it off with her sweater.

The pain started to go away slowly, but she still was very tense and scared. She breathed shakily, and brought her head up. The world was still the same, everyone getting on with their lives as she sat in waste. Again her head fell onto her knees as she tried to calm down. She let out a sigh and took a look at her shoe.

'My shoes are falling apart, bloody great...duck tape is the solution' The tired and smitten girl smiled, and tucked her hair behind her ears, then brought her foot closer to tie her shoes, suddenly a drop of water fell onto her shoe. She looked up at the grey sky and felt rain drops falling onto her face. Drops of muddied water fell from her face.

Closing her eyes, it seemed like all she heard were the raindrops falling on the once dry land around her. It felt great, like her chaotic thoughts were being washed away, then she felt her butt and ankles being soaked with water 'Crap did I just piss myself or something.' The water was now at her knees and chest, but she did not dare to open her eyes or scream out. She felt the coldness of the water, she did not want to wake from this reverie.

*************

Two figures were getting close to a river, rich with blue color. The wind was gentle, the weeping willow trees at the side of the river swayed. The wind tore a leaf off and it fluttered down onto the water, it made a beautiful ripple, but was quickly engulfed by the current. The wind whispered stories, the sun solemnly sat in the sky, knowing her sister would soon shine, leaves skittered across the ground, and clouds crawled through the vast sky.

Aragorn took one refreshing breath, the air was clean and fresh. His dark hair tossed in the wind, his horse proudly steeped forward. Legolas was at his side, his milky complexion was bathed in sunlight. The braid in his hair was loosened, though he seemed relaxed, he looked deep in thought.

"So where are you off to first?" questioned Aragorn.

The blue-eyed elf looked at Aragorn. " I'm really not that sure yet. I definitely know I will return to Mirkwood with Gimli. The elves of Mirkwood have dwelt underground for so long, I'm sure Gimli will be fairly comfortable."

Aragorn noticed his tone of voice, "Legolas, you sound saddened."

"My heart yearns for the sea, Aragorn. Yet, a part of me wants to stay here. If I stay, what lingers for me?" Legolas said with one breath. "Maybe I shall get married, maybe I shall have children, maybe nothing will happen. But there will always be a yearning for the sea."

Aragorn gave him a questioning glance.

"It seems all too ordinary, too simple."

Aragorn laughed, making Legolas look at him.

"So saving Middle-earth wasn't good enough for you? Ah well, you are an odd elf! I will simply say this, follow your heart."

Legolas sighed and looked ahead, his mouth was starting to get dry.

"Do you think we can stop here for a moment, I'm a bit thirsty" Said Legolas.

"Yes, of course." Said Aragorn.

The blue-eyed elf walked to the edge of the river and kneeled down, his leggings were smudged with dirt as he kneeled down. Cupping his hands together he put them in the water but suddenly he saw a figure in the water. Legolas shook his head, thinking he was just tired. When he looked down again, the figure was still there, and getting clearer. Finally he knew what it was.

"Aragorn! Come here quick, my eyes may be deceiving me but I see a girl in the water." Legolas couldn't believe what was happening.

Aragorn ran over to see for himself, "Your eyes do not deceive you my friend, I see it too."

Suddenly the girl's eyes opened and bubbles rose to the surface.

"She's alive we have to get her out" The blue-eyed elf reached into the water and grabbed the girl's arm and pulled her out, she knelt in front of the elf. The girl started coughing up water, unfortunately on Legolas. She desperately gasped for air, her hand clasped her wet shirt.

'Okay breathe, breathe.... Am I in hell... or heaven? Meh...not like I was in hell before I got to where ever I am now' She pulled her wet hair away from her eyes to take a better look at her surroundings.

"Milady, are you well?" The blue-eyed elf looked at the girl with concern. The girl noticed Legolas' hand on her shoulder and she quickly shoved it away.

'Okay... who the hell is he...why is he looking at me? OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS EARS! I am in hell! DEVIL DEVIL!'

"Milady, are you well?" This time it was Aragorn who asked, but it was too late; the girl had passed out.





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