Zim's Conquest
By Kawaii_Kitty
The green Irken soldier looked up to the two standing on the platform, one of them sipping something from a straw on a plastic cup.
"… and then I said, 'that's no oil can, that's my plasma gun'! Then he shot himself in the face!" The Irken leader clad in red laughed to his twin clothed in an identical outfit, only of the color purple. The two laughed together loudly for a moment before they were curtly interrupted by one of their shorter subordinates.
"My tallest!" the alien called.
The two rulers looked to the short one sitting at a message transceiver. "Yes? What is it?" said the one called Purple in a rather annoyed tone.
The short Irken quivered at his superior's tone and turned back to the console in front of him. "We have an incoming transmission from an unknown galaxy."
Red and purple looked to one another and then back to the transceiver. "Patch it through." They said in unison, Red slurping his drink.
"Yes sirs." The small soldier said, pushing a few buttons and looking to the large screen in front of his leaders.
"Good evening, my tallests." An oddly familiar voice said from the screen.
Red and purple exchanged utterly baffled looks. "Could it be?" said Red questionably.
"I-It could be…" Purple responded.
The screen appeared perfectly clear, as an Irken Invader appeared on the screen, his large red eyes gleaming evilly. "It is I, Invader Zim."
Red choked on his drink and sprayed it on the soldier sitting in front of the platform, causing him to scream out in extreme pain and discomfort.
Purple pushed his gasping brother aside, muttering, "How annoying." He sighted and twitched is antennae. "Zim? It's been six years since your last transmission! Where have you been?"
The image of Zim smirked. "Oh, on the same planet you cast me away to like a broken android."
Red inhaled deeply and coughed. "Haven't you figured out that we don't care whether you live or die? We even told you-"
The image of Zim chuckled evilly and shook his index finger. "Yes, I realized you despised me years ago, it just took a while to figure out. I went through a mild stage of depression, but as a proud Irken Invader, I continued on with my portion of 'Operation Impending Doom II', and I am proud to report that it was a success."
The two leaders known as the "Almighty Tallest" looked astonished, lowering their antennae and staring at the screen, saying together, "You… Took over…a… Planet?"
Zim lifted his head and cackled proudly, or evilly, no one could really tell the difference. "You seem afraid, Mighty Irken Leaders! Or, if you aren't, then you very well should be!" The image broke out into a fit of cackling once more.
"Why?" chorused the room with blank stares on their faces.
Zim's expression became exasperated as he took a few steps back, revealing his entire stature, no longer a puny two feet and five inches tall. "As you can see, living on this planet has given me the opportunity to literally grow to my fitting rank. By devouring the horrible filth they dare to call 'food', I have grown a fitting three feet and six inches."
The room broke out into a loud gasp followed by a fit of hushed whispers. The tallest looked to each other once more.
"Um… Purple, how tall are we again?" Red asked quietly.
Purple glared at him as he was rather annoyed with his brother's stupidity and hit him on the back of the head. "You idiot." He whispered harshly. "Don't you realize he's five inches taller than we are!?"
Red gasped. "T-then Zim is our new leader!"
Purple's glare became more spiteful as he hit him once more. "Pipe down! Look, Zim doesn't know that he is to rule us. And what he doesn't know, won't hurt him, right?" Red nodded as they turned back to the monitor. "Erm, congratulations on your domination, Zim. Um… you deserve our respect-"
"And your planet." Zim interrupted casually with a grin.
"You… how did you…?" Purple spat uselessly.
"It's easy to see when Irkens don't grow very fast and stop at about… oh twenty-five years of age, which you were when I left, am I correct? Don't think you can hide my status from me."
A small silver robot with glowing red eyes, shoulder joints, and front panel stepped up beside Zim and saluted. "Master."
Zim sighed and looked to the robot. "What is it, GIR? Can't you see I'm busy!?"
"The guards have brought in some suspicious looking people, Sir." The robot reported.
Zim smirked and looked to the screen confidently, patting the robot on the head. "You see? GIR isn't as incompetent as you made him out to be. He can be very intelligent and is always obedient."
GIR's eyes, joints, and panel turned a light cyan as he tugged on Zim's pant leg, now speaking in a high-toned voice. "Can I have my marshmallow now?"
Zim sighed again and took a marshmallow out from his pocket and handed it to GIR who started jumping up and down, squealing with joy, and hugging his marshmallow. "Creating GIR was another mistake you fools made. GIR has assisted me in my domination of this spinning ball of water and dirt in many ways."
Purple scoffed. "Name one."
"Very well. I have sent him to several countries, and every one he's sent into insanity, making them vulnerable for me to conquer. Now if you'll excuse me, I have subjects to see to." The monitor on Zim's end turned off and left the screen on the Armada full of static.
Red looked sad for a moment and stroked his cup. "I'm going to miss having soda whenever I want."
Purple sobbed. "I'm going to miss being able to fly everywhere."
The two brothers grabbed onto each other and cried loudly as the soldier at the transceiver sighed softly as he turned off the monitor. "I'm going to miss being able to speak."
And this is the prologue. I hoped you enjoyed it. The next chapters will be out fairly soon. I hope to get some feedback from you guys. Yes, you. The reader. The one reading these words right now. Anyway, about the stuff. I just made an estimate on height and ages, so please don't yell at me. I don't know how old the tallest are; I just picked a good old age. I hoped you enjoy the story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim in any way, shape, or form. I am just a petty fan who worships the ground the creator (Johnen Vasquez) walks on. Yes! You! Obey the Johnen! Invader Zim is copyright Jhonen Vasquez, Steve Ressel, Rob Hummel, all those nice animators who work so hard to make Dib his cutest, those cool writers who make GIR say funny stuff, and of course Nickelodeon and Viacom. And remember, "That is NOT a supernatural cow!!"