this is my very first Criminal Minds Fanfic, so be gentle! this is set sometime after Exit Wounds. i hope you enjoy it!
i don't own Criminal Minds or its characters.
The team was due to arrive back at the BAU any moment from their latest gruesome case, and Penelope was trying her hardest to finish her work for the day before her beloved superheroes got back to the office. She loved them all, and was super uber glad they were all coming home safe and sound, but their ability to profile her so easily was something she could live without. Especially now.
Penelope had, after two years of dating, broken things off with Kevin. She felt horrible about hurting him, but she knew in the long run she was doing them both a favor. He'd really begun to talk about them being more serious as a couple: marriage, babies, forever. Whenever Penelope pictured her forever, though, it wasn't with Kevin Lynch; it was with her best friend. Or so she dreamed. She knew after being in Alaska a few weeks ago that her heart would always belong to Derek, regardless of him returning her feelings or not. It wasn't fair to keep her boyfriend if she didn't love him with her whole heart.
So, two weeks ago she'd set Kevin free.
JJ and Emily had immediately noticed something was off with her; it'd only taken them a few minutes of interrogating her before she'd spilled the whole thing at a bar one night. Even though she was the one who'd ended things, Penelope was still a mess.
"I just dumped probably the only man who will ever really be serious about being with me!" Penelope had cried to her girlfriends.
"PG, you know that's not true." Emily said adamantly.
"Yes it is, Emily! Kevin wanted everything that I want, and he wanted it with me! How stupid am I to just give that up?" Penelope sniffled.
"Penelope, you weren't in love with him. You know that, Emily and I know that, hell Kevin probably knows it. You can't just force yourself to be with someone. It's better that you ended things." JJ had said, ever the voice of reason.
They'd stayed with her for hours while she cried about being "forever alone" and "uberly a terrible, horrible person". Every day after that they both made sure to check on her multiple times throughout the day. While she loved them for caring so much, Penelope really just wanted to wallow in her new permanent relationship status: single.
"C'mon babies, just a little more and Mama is out of here before the lovely ladies of the BAU catch her in this horrid state." Penelope whispered to her computers. It was almost six o'clock, and the team wasn't expected to be back until six thirty, giving her plenty of time to escape.
Thankfully, last week the team had been called on a case; Emily and JJ couldn't check on her as often and Penelope was glad to be left alone. She knew, however, that if they found her tonight they'd demand she go out for drinks with them and end up drunk and emotional.
Penelope was tired of being drunk and emotional.
Suddenly, her phone rang and she sighed, knowing it was one of the girls. "Speak and be recognized!" Penelope exclaimed, trying to seem normal.
"Well I sure wouldn't mind being recognized by the Gorgeous Goddess of the BAU, she's been a bit shady on me lately and I miss her." Derek Morgan's husky voice chuckled on the other line.
Oh gosh, his voice. That husky voice was enough to make her tummy erupt into butterflies, and her mind turn to mush as she melted into a puddle.
She'd been such a horrible friend to him lately. Penelope knew Derek would immediately catch on to her shift in mood, just like the girls had. She didn't want him to see her in such a mess though. Emily and JJ were her girls, Derek was her Hot Stuff and he didn't need to see her at anything less than her best. Penelope had been avoiding him while she tried to get over being single again.
"Hey Baby Boy, what's up?" She asked.
"What, no come back?" He retorted.
"I'm sorry, Hot Stuff, I'm just tired is all." Penelope sighed.
"You still at work, Baby Girl?" Derek inquired.
Penelope hesitated; she didn't wanna lie to him -she never lied to him- but she didn't want him to see her tonight. It'd been a bad day; her hair wasn't up to par and she hadn't bothered with much makeup. She just hadn't felt the need to look beautiful today, seeing as she had no man and no one would be seeing her enough to care about her appearance.
"Um, yeah. But I'm just leaving." Penelope said hurriedly.
"Well why don't you pump those breaks and wait? We're almost there, and you and I haven't spent nearly enough time together or talking lately and I wanna fix that." Derek replied easily.
"I really don't feel like it tonight, Sugar. Rain-check?" She asked hopefully.
"Woman you're breakin' my heart here. You've been avoiding me for the better part of two weeks, and your usual flirty spunk has almost completely gone. What's goin' on, Baby?" The man asked, concerned.
"Derek, really, I'm fine. I just need some rest. It was a bad case and Mama worked hard on it." Penelope said convincingly.
He sighed. "Yeah, it was pretty bad... If you really don't want to, I guess I'll let you slide. Go home, Baby. Get some rest. Make Lynch take care of you, hear me?"
Penelope's throat clenched. "Um, yeah. Okay. You get some rest too, Chocolate Thunder. You deserve it after all that crime fighting. Don't let a bar honey wear you out too bad." She giggled. Teasing him came so naturally, Penelope couldn't help but feel a little better.
Derek chuckled lightly. "Oh please, I haven't been with a bar honey as you said in months."
That made Penelope stop. Was he serious? Surely he was just kidding; Derek Morgan was not the kind of man that just stopped hunting for women to fill his ever present need. "Say it ain't so, oh the women of DC must be utterly heartbroken." Penelope tried to joke.
Again her best friend and holder of her heart laughed. "Let them be. I don't want them anymore. Why would I want them when I've got you?" Derek said, his voice low and oh so sincere.
Penelope's heart went into overdrive and the butterflies roared in her tummy. "Aw, Baby, you say the sweetest things. But alas, I must go; I've got a bit more work to finish up before your friendly Oracle retires for the night."
Derek didn't say anything, and silence enveloped them. "Yeah baby, I'll see you Monday then I guess." He finally replied, his voice sounding different. Penelope couldn't place his tone, it was sad, almost disappointed? But why would her hot chocolate be disappointed? She didn't know.
"Later lovebug." Penelope said quickly, hanging up. She let out a long, slow breath before turning her focus back to finishing her work and getting the hell out of the office.
An abrupt knocking broke through the silence of her lair, startling Penelope. She glanced at the clock on her computer; it was only six fifteen. The team couldn't be back yet! She panicked. JJ told her at the very earliest they'd be back at six thirty!
"Hey Garcia, how you doing?" Emily's voice filled the lair as she opened the door.
Turning, Penelope watched JJ and Emily waltz into her office, matching smiles on their faces. Her eyes narrowed. "You told me the wrong time on purpose so I wouldn't have left yet, didn't you." She said, more of a statement than a question.
"Who me? Would I do something like that?" JJ asked incredulously.
"Yup." Penelope nodded.
The blonde haired woman smiled, guilty. "We wanted to check on you. How you doing? You don't look like your usual bubbly self." JJ replied.
"That, my beautiful Jayje, is because I did not feel the need to go all out as normal. But fear not, I have come to terms with my relationship status. After I go home and take a nice bubble bath with my dear friend red wine I shall be better." Penelope smiled.
"Or, you could go get drinks with us! Let loose. Flirt with some men." Emily grinned.
"No." Penelope groaned. "Then I'll get drunk and when I get drunk I get emotional and I'm so sick of being emotional."
"I think going out could help more than staying at home. You're finally free to find that love you've always wanted! You won't find it sitting in here!" JJ exclaimed.
Suddenly there was another knock on the door. "Hey Doll Face. I guess I'm in luck, didn't expect you to still be here." Derek's smooth voice filled the room.
Emily turned to look at JJ. "Or maybe she will." She smiled.
"Will what?" The man inquired.
"Oh nothing, Baby Boy. Girl talk." Penelope smiled.
"Well since you're still here and you look like you're not so tired after all, how about you and I go do something tonight?" Derek asked, a smile on his face.
Lucky for Penelope, her brain worked fast. "Oh I'm sorry Sug, but Emily and JJ here just begged me to have a girl's night."
Derek's face fell for a moment, before he nodded. "Oh... yeah, alright. That's cool, Baby. You ladies have fun, and take care of my Baby Girl for me, yeah?" He smiled. Emily and JJ nodded, and Derek turned and walked out.
Emily arched an eyebrow at the woman sitting in the chair. "Since when do you turn down Derek's offers to do anything? And now that I think about it, you've been avoiding him hardcore lately."
"I hate profilers." Penelope pouted.
"What's going on, Garcia? I know you're upset that you just got out of a long term relationship, but why avoid your best friend?" JJ asked gently.
"Because it's his fault!" The red head exclaimed.
"Huh?" JJ asked.
Penelope sighed. "After he comforted me in Alaska and was just so amazing to me, I knew I'd never get over him. I love him with my whole heart, and how could I be with someone else when I love another man? But he's never gonna feel that way about me! I'm trying to keep a little distance between us so I can try to lock down my feelings for him. I need him in my life, whether that means as lovers or just best friends. If he figures out how I feel he won't want to be close to me anymore, and I can't risk that." She explained.
JJ and Emily just shook their heads. "Pen, you don't know that. Morgan is crazy about you!" JJ exclaimed.
"He really is, Garcia. It's in his eyes!" Emily told her.
"Derek is my best friend, yes he loves me but it's as a friend. He wouldn't cross a crowded room to hit on me, and it's about time I accept that." Penelope sighed.
"What? No!" Emily objected.
"Oh my lovelies, thank you for being so supportive. But I don't want to argue this. Right now all I want is to relax. Let's go get some drinks." She smiled.
"Are you sure?" JJ asked.
Penelope nodded, shutting down her babies. "I'm positive my dear. Let's go!" She announced.
"Uh, I actually need to do one quick thing. You two go ahead and head over, I'll be right behind you!" Emily smiled.
"Okay, don't be too long!" Penelope replied, gathering her things and missing the look sent between the other two ladies.
Emily had immediately set out to find Morgan. She couldn't handle Garcia being this upset anymore, and she definitely couldn't deal with two of her closest friends denying themselves something that would bring them such happiness. Emily was so tired of the two of them being so blind to how the other one feels.
She found Morgan at his desk, his head in one hand and a pen in the other; it was obvious he was trying to finish a report, but it just wasn't getting anywhere.
"Morgan." Emily said, snapping him out of whatever doze he was in.
His head shot up and he looked at her, surprised. "Hey, thought you were going with the ladies on Girl's Night?" Derek sighed.
"I needed to talk to you first." She told him.
"Okay, what about?" He inquired.
"Morgan how do you feel about Penelope?" Emily asked bluntly.
Derek leaned back in his chair and shook his head. "Not tonight Prentiss. Let this go."
"No. Tell me." She snapped.
"I really don't wanna talk. I'm trying to finish this report, if you don't mind." Derek shot her a look.
"I do mind, actually. Morgan you've got to stop this-this dance you and Penelope have been doing for years! She's hurting and you need to fix it!" Emily demanded.
Derek's eyes narrowed and he threw his pen on his desk, slowly rising out of his seat. "I need to fix it. What exactly do you mean by that, Prentiss?" He asked lowly.
"I mean you need to man up and tell her how you feel!" She replied.
His eyes flashed. "Guess what, Prentiss! I did! Two years ago, after that son of a bitch shot her. I looked her in the eye and I told her that I love her. Then what does Penelope do? She practically runs into Lynch's arms and has stayed there ever since. This is not on me." Derek shook his head.
Emily was shocked; Penelope had never mentioned Derek admitting his love for her.
"Do you know how hard that was for me? I watched as the woman I love ran to another man. What was I supposed to do? I'd already told her how I feel, and apparently she didn't feel the same." His voice was broken and filled with sorrow.
"But Derek you two-" Emily tried.
"Emily, please. I've tried. She chose what she wanted and it wasn't me. Please let this go, it's only gonna hurt more if I keep trying to hold on to something that I don't have." He begged.
Emily had never seen him like this; the Derek Morgan she knew was charming and confident, but his man was vulnerable and defeated. She didn't think he knew the meaning of the word defeat, but there it was clear on his face. Emily watched as Derek gathered his things and started to make his exist.
"You know, Penelope broke up with Lynch because she's in love with you." Emily called after him.
Derek froze, and Emily smiled. Now she had his attention. "You heard me. The problem is she still thinks you wouldn't hit on her in a room full of people. She doesn't think she's good enough for you. She thinks you're not interested in her, which is bullshit and we all see it!" Emily exclaimed.
The man turned, looking at her with wide, hopeful eyes. "Don't you play with me, Emily Prentiss. You're tellin' me that after all this time, Penelope is in love with me?" He said slowly.
"What I'm saying, Derek Morgan, is that the love of your life is at a bar right now feeling lonely and only you can rectify that. I'm saying get your ass in gear and go get your girl so we can all stop watching you two be miserable without each other!" Emily smiled.
Derek grinned back at her, and Emily knew things were about to change for the better.
Derek couldn't remember the last time he'd been filled with this amount of nerves and excitement. He'd all but given up on the dream that he and Penelope would be together; she'd been with the unworthy Lynch for two years, he'd assumed they were getting really serious. For the sake of her happiness, Derek had respected her relationship as much as he could, and backed off.
But now, oh now the whole game had changed.
He couldn't believe it but now Penelope was single and wanted to be with him. When Emily told him that, Derek was certain a feather could've knocked him over; his heart wanted so badly to believe her, but his mind told him to be cautious. But, Emily had explained everything, and now it was time for him to take charge.
Derek walked into the bar and surveyed the area; it was packed and loud as usual. People everywhere were drinking and laughing, some where playing pool or darts while others danced the night away. Despite the number of people, it didn't take the man but a minute to find Penelope.
Emily had beat him there, and was already seated with the other ladies. The three were laughing around a table, and Penelope looked a bit happier and lighter than she'd been earlier in her lair. Though she wasn't as done up as usual, Derek still marveled at how beautiful Penelope was.
Not good enough for me? Bullshit. He thought, shaking his head and taking a deep breath before he made his way over to her.
"Somebody call Heaven, their most glorious angel is missing and she's sitting in a bar." He said, announcing his presence.
Her head snapped up, looking at him in shock. "D-Derek? What are you doing here, Hot Stuff?" She inquired.
Derek smiled at her, leaning in close. "God, you are so beautiful. Way too beautiful to be stuck in this place, and way too beautiful for any mere man. Hopefully, for my sake, you'll overlook that last part."
He could hear JJ and Emily gasping excitedly but he didn't bother to look up; the only one that mattered to him in that moment was Penelope. Her eyes were wide and a pretty pink blush had spread across her cheeks.
"What are you doing?" Penelope asked again, quieter this time.
"My Gorgeous Goddess, this is me crossing a crowded room to hit on you. Don't turn me down now, my heart can't take it." Derek told her.
"You... you're... huh?" She asked, looking adorably confused.
Derek chuckled and took the drink she was clutching out of her hands and set it on the table before he took her hands in his. Slowly, he brought on hand to his lips and placed a gentle, loving his to the top. His thumb rubbed across it, caressing the kiss into her skin, and repeated the kiss on her other hand.
Her blush intensified and Derek turned her hand over, rubbing his finger over her wrist; he could feel her pulse, could feel how fast her heart was beating.
It matched his almost perfectly.
The song changed and a slow, romantic one took place of the fast beat. "Dance with me, Baby." He said softly.
Penelope turned to look at the girls, who were grinning madly. They both nodded and waved their hands at her to go, almost shooing her away. She turned back to him and slowly stood from her chair. "I've told you before I'm not a good dancer." She warned him.
Derek chuckled lightly as he led her out onto the dance floor before turning her in his arms. Still holding onto the hand he'd led her with, he wrapped on arm around her waist, and pressed the other to his chest. Her hand was directly over his heart, and his hand lie on top of hers.
"And I've told you before, I don't believe you. This gorgeous body of yours was made to move, you're just holding out on me." He teased.
She laughed. "Oh please."
"Just relax, Princess. I've got you." Derek whispered, closing his eyes, leaning his forehead against hers, and swaying them softly to the music.
His heart nearly flew out of his chest when he felt her melt into his embrace. It felt so good to finally have her in his arms, dancing with her. Derek never wanted to let go of her. Everything else faded away as the two swayed.
"Those things you said... at the table..." Penelope whispered, but lost stopped.
Derek opened his eyes and searched hers. She was nervous, a little scared, but he could see the love shining in her eyes. "Penelope everything I said I meant. Everything I've ever said. I love you, silly girl. I've always been in love with you, right from the start." He told her.
Penelope's eyes grew impossibly large as she searched his, looking for validation. Derek kept his eyes locked on hers, trying to let all the love he felt for her show; he was laying all his cards on the table.
"I've loved you since the first day I met you. When you got shot, baby, I thought I was the one dying. I can't imagine my life without you. Who would I be without you? I wouldn't be worth anything." He shook his head.
"You're wrong." she objected fiercely. "You're a good man, a hero. You are so much more than you let yourself see."
Derek smiled a pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. "I'm not a hero, but thank you Baby Girl. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone. You've got my whole heart Penelope. It killed me to see you with Lynch, but I thought you were happy. Imagine my surprise when I hear you're no longer seeing him." He grinned.
Penelope turned and looked over at JJ and Emily, both grinning and trying to look like they hadn't been staring. "Traitors." she mumbled.
Derek chuckled and turned her face back to look at him. "Don't be too mad; they're the reason we're standing here."
"Why now Derek?" Penelope whispered nervously.
"Because you dumped Lynch. I thought you wanted him, and I wanted you to be happy. Before that? I didn't think I could be what you needed. I know I'm still less than you deserve, but I promise you, baby, no one else can love you as much as I do. Say you'll be mine, forever and always." Derek begged.
Penelope smiled. "Derek Morgan, don't you know I've always been yours?"
Derek grinned, before cupping her face in his hands and kissing her. His entire being sparked to life as her lips met his. Kissing Penelope was unlike anything Derek had ever felt before, and he knew that he'd never get enough of her. Her arms wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer to her. Closer, he thought. He wanted to be so close to her.
Finally, air became a necessity and Penelope drew back. Derek leaned in for another small peck, before moving back just enough to let her breath. He leaned his forehead against hers once more, occasionally brushing his lips against hers.
"I love you, Derek. I've been in love with you forever." She whispered to him.
Hearing her say those words made Derek feel like he was on Cloud Nine. He couldn't believe she was actually saying what he'd always dreamt she would. "I love you so much, Penelope." Derek whispered, kissing her once more.
"I can't believe this is real." Penelope laughed lightly.
"Well believe it, Gorgeous. And while you're at it, go ahead and start believing I would cross a crowded room for you. Baby Girl don't you know I'd cross oceans for you?" Derek told her softly.
A beautiful smile grew on her face. "As I would do for you, my love." Penelope replied.
Derek smiled, drawing her closer into his embrace where she'd always belonged.
if you would be so kind as to leave me a review telling me what you think, i'd much appreciate it!
xox