Well… This is Awkward
By: The Duchess of Arendelle
AN: NO SPOILERS. I haven't even gotten that far into the game yet to even give spoilers… Except the Dr. T'Perro thing, but that's tiny. The new Pathfinder is so adorable. I'm loving Andromeda.
"SAM, can you tell me where my brother is?" Sarah Ryder asked the AI as she wandered through the lower decks of the Tempest. Scott could usually be found lurking in engineering with the also mysteriously missing head engineer, but she'd checked there 3 times already along with everywhere else on the ship, and her brother was nowhere to be found.
"Yes Pathfinder, one moment please. It seems that Scott is no longer on the Tempest." The AI informed her in his ever steady voice.
"What? He's not on the ship? Then where the heck is he? He knew we were going to go over… that… you know… that thing we talked about earlier…" She trailed off shyly, not wanting her crew to overhear her conversation.
"You are referring to the plan to go about wooing the asari doctor, Lexi T'Perro, after your initial humiliating first attempt in Sick Bay." SAM intoned. Ryder rolled her eyes.
"Yeah SAM. THAT thing. Where is my brother if he's not on the ship? We're only restocking on the Nexus for an hour then we're heading back out."
"One moment Pathfinder, scanning for Scott Ryder's signature. Located. Scott Ryder is located in the Nexus's recreational drinking area."
"The bar? He's at the bar? What is he doing there?" she asked to herself, not expecting an answer.
"Scanning. Elevated heart rate, lung capacity, and increasing spike in hormones. His vitals suggest that he is performing a strenuous activity. Cleaning up data. Scott is in the midst of coitus." SAM calmly informed her. Ryder began to gag on air as the information hit her ears.
"With engineer Gil Brodie." he continued.
"Ew...oh God no! I didn't need to, nor did I want to, know that SAM!" she continued with her overly dramatic show of disgust.
"In one of the bathrooms of the 'bar'." SAM finished.
"SAM! Christ!"
"Would you like me to call him back to the ship, Pathfinder?" SAM asked, not affected in the slightest by the information or Ryder's reaction to it.
"No, no no no no. Let him… uh… finish? Ew, ew, oh God, ew." she continued saying to herself.
"Ryder? Are you alright?" she heard a posh British accent ask her from behind.
'Come on Big Guy, why are you doing me like this today?' she thought to herself as she slowly turned around and gave the asari doctor an awkward smile.
"Who me? Pssh, yeah. Never better. Why do… uh… why do you ask?" she asked nervously. The doctor shot her a skeptical look.
"You don't look okay. You look a little green and I heard you gagging. Are you sick? As the physician to the Pathfinder, I insist you tell me of all illness tha-" Ryder cut off the doctor before she could give her another lecture on 'Taking care of herself' and 'Being safe.' or whatever.
"I'm fine Doc, really. Fit as a fiddle, healthy as a horse, and all that jazz." she smiled again. The asari doctor shot Ryder another skeptical look before typing something into her Omni-Tool.
"Fine Ryder, if you insist. I'll be on my way then." she informed the Pathfinder. Ryder nodded her head, not knowing what to say. Never knowing what to say to the beautiful physician. Dr. T'Perro gave Ryder a single nod before turning on her heels and heading back towards Sick Bay. Just as the human Pathfinder was beginning to let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, Dr. T'Perro turned around to say something.
"Oh, and Ryder? You may want to turn SAM Node off. It's broadcasting to all open channels. We just heard your entire conversation." She informed the now mortified Pathfinder.
"Everything?" she asked, swallowing hard.
"Everything." the doctor confirmed.
"Good luck 'wooing' me by the way." she told Ryder with a smirk as she began to walk away again.
"Well… this is awkward. *Ba-dum-ch*" SAM intoned again as Ryder stared after the doctor.
"Alec was teaching me about humor and 'lighting the mood'. Did it work, Pathfinder?" SAM asked. Ryder shook her head but smiled wryly.
"Keep working on it SAM."
AN: I don't know how SAM and SAM Node work for sure yet, but oh well! I'm thinking of making this a series of interrelated one-shots about awkward situations in the Ryder siblings life, especially their love lives. Mostly following Sarah Ryder. I kind of want a fic about Ryder trying to woo Dr. T'Perro and being a total nerd about it. Especially since T'Perro said she wouldn't date Ryder just because she was her patient. That's just begging for a story!