Mr. Green woke up from a dream to find Mrs. White lying next to him.
"I don't seem to recall inviting you into my bed last night woman," he said. "Not that I don't mind or anything."
"You flatter yourself. The Colonel came at me with a wrench, and this was the first place I could find to hide," she replied.
"If that makes you feel better about the whole situation...."
"Please, Green. We have to stop the Colonel!"
"Ok, let's go."
The two of them slipped out from under the covers. Naturally, Mr. Green was wearing his Cheers boxers. Mrs. White was still in her evening attire from the night before, which was an Elvira costume, of course. Green picked up a pair of pants, then threw them aside and opted for the kimono. White removed the Elvira hair, and put on one of them Nazi helmets.
"Maybe he won't recognize me in this," she said.
"I hope you are right," Green said.
"I hope he doesn't think I'm Hitler."
"Maybe he'll run away if he thinks you are...."
"We're wasting valuable time here Green. So quit with the kinky talk, and let's get to business."
"Ok, in the nightstand over there, you will find a sword. Hand it to me."
"A sword? What happened to the candlestick that Alex Rodriguez dropped off after the game earlier?"
"I upgraded to a sword, for only 50 dollars more."
"You do know that candlestick was signed by A-Rod, right?"
"Mrs. White. There's a crazy Colonel running amok with a wrench, so can we please stick to the matter at hand?"
"You feel like an idiot getting rid of an A-Rod signed candlestick don't you?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Hand me that sword."
As soon as Mrs. White handed him the sword, Green jammed it into his stomach.
"I need you Green! Don't commit seppuku on me! I need you!"
"My time has come. Take what you have learned and go destroy the Colonel."
Tears began to fall from White's eyes as the last tiny bits of life flowed out of Green's abdomen and onto the floor.
"Oh Mr. Green. I was lying about the Colonel! I just couldn't let you know about my feelings. I snuck into your room because I love you! I love you! Dear Lord, let my words of love turn into tiny surgeons and repair the wound on this noble man. Please God"
Oddly enough, the word "LOVE" actually formed in mid-air and turned into a small dwarfish doctor.
"Someone need a doctor?"
"Yeah, Mr. Green does."
"Ok, I'll fix him." The dwarf (his name was Isaac, by the way) repaired Mr. Green and within minutes he was back on his feet.
"Hey thanks Isaac," Mr. Green said when he was back alive.
"No problem. Need anything else? No? Ok, bye," Isaac left through the oak door in the front of the room. Oddly enough, he didn't open the door, he just kind of phased through it. But Mrs. White and Mr. Green were embraced in a big old kiss and didn't even notice the amazing "walking- through-walls" by the dwarf. They kissed some more throughout the night. But before too long, Miss Scarlet shot them both. With a revolver. In the study.
"I don't seem to recall inviting you into my bed last night woman," he said. "Not that I don't mind or anything."
"You flatter yourself. The Colonel came at me with a wrench, and this was the first place I could find to hide," she replied.
"If that makes you feel better about the whole situation...."
"Please, Green. We have to stop the Colonel!"
"Ok, let's go."
The two of them slipped out from under the covers. Naturally, Mr. Green was wearing his Cheers boxers. Mrs. White was still in her evening attire from the night before, which was an Elvira costume, of course. Green picked up a pair of pants, then threw them aside and opted for the kimono. White removed the Elvira hair, and put on one of them Nazi helmets.
"Maybe he won't recognize me in this," she said.
"I hope you are right," Green said.
"I hope he doesn't think I'm Hitler."
"Maybe he'll run away if he thinks you are...."
"We're wasting valuable time here Green. So quit with the kinky talk, and let's get to business."
"Ok, in the nightstand over there, you will find a sword. Hand it to me."
"A sword? What happened to the candlestick that Alex Rodriguez dropped off after the game earlier?"
"I upgraded to a sword, for only 50 dollars more."
"You do know that candlestick was signed by A-Rod, right?"
"Mrs. White. There's a crazy Colonel running amok with a wrench, so can we please stick to the matter at hand?"
"You feel like an idiot getting rid of an A-Rod signed candlestick don't you?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Hand me that sword."
As soon as Mrs. White handed him the sword, Green jammed it into his stomach.
"I need you Green! Don't commit seppuku on me! I need you!"
"My time has come. Take what you have learned and go destroy the Colonel."
Tears began to fall from White's eyes as the last tiny bits of life flowed out of Green's abdomen and onto the floor.
"Oh Mr. Green. I was lying about the Colonel! I just couldn't let you know about my feelings. I snuck into your room because I love you! I love you! Dear Lord, let my words of love turn into tiny surgeons and repair the wound on this noble man. Please God"
Oddly enough, the word "LOVE" actually formed in mid-air and turned into a small dwarfish doctor.
"Someone need a doctor?"
"Yeah, Mr. Green does."
"Ok, I'll fix him." The dwarf (his name was Isaac, by the way) repaired Mr. Green and within minutes he was back on his feet.
"Hey thanks Isaac," Mr. Green said when he was back alive.
"No problem. Need anything else? No? Ok, bye," Isaac left through the oak door in the front of the room. Oddly enough, he didn't open the door, he just kind of phased through it. But Mrs. White and Mr. Green were embraced in a big old kiss and didn't even notice the amazing "walking- through-walls" by the dwarf. They kissed some more throughout the night. But before too long, Miss Scarlet shot them both. With a revolver. In the study.