I know I shouldn't be starting another story, but this one will only be two chapters. I really liked Cal's storyline in Five Days. I kept thinking how difficult it must have been and how much he'd have needed Ethan's support. But I wasn't sure Ethan would support him. He's changed so much.

Cal was fighting tears all the way home.

He'd tried to stay detached, but the case with Neeve and her mother had got to him. All he wanted was to get home and talk it through with Ethan. He needed to talk to Ethan; he needed some reassurance. The feeling that he wasn't completely alone.

But he knew there wasn't any chance of that. Ethan didn't care about anything but girls and booze – he didn't even have any interest in his career. He was going to lose his chance of becoming a consultant if he wasn't careful. The whole exam system of FCEM and MCEM had been restructured into three exams and although it was still possible to take the old FCEM exam, it wouldn't be an option for very long.

Cal would be resitting his FCEM right now if surgery hadn't captured his attention. But Ethan… Cal couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen him doing any work.

But he couldn't blame Ethan. Cal had encouraged him in this 'be more Cal' venture. He was as much responsible for the result of it as Ethan.

And quite honestly, after the way he'd treated Ethan for most of their lives, Cal thought he deserved it.

He wondered how many times Ethan had come home feeling just like Cal but unable to go to his brother for support; how many times Ethan might have cried alone in his bedroom when Cal thought he was having yet another study session; how many times it had hurt Ethan so much, he didn't know how he would bear it.

Cal parked the car, but he didn't get out. Tears were building in his eyes and the last thing he wanted was for Ethan to see them. He was probably in the flat right now with a drink in his hand, giggling and bitching with Alicia. Jealousy sharpened Cal's pain and caused the tears to fall. Not that he had any interest in Alicia – not after the way she'd behaved. But Ethan was his brother and even though Cal might struggle to forgive him, he would never cease to love him.

Ethan's love for Cal was a different matter – and Cal wanted it back. He wanted Ethan back.

The tears poured from Cal's eyes. He just wanted Ethan. He needed Ethan. And he wanted to talk to his mum – his adoptive mum, Matilda – and make sure she knew how much he loved her and how she'd been in his mind at every moment when she was ill and it was only fear that had kept him away.

No: he wanted more than that. He wanted to go back and get it right; to support Ethan; to spend more time with Matilda and do everything he could to make her happy and comfortable.

He wanted to talk to Emilie and have more time with her, even though he knew she'd had the perfect last day and would not have wished for more and if she was here, Cal might have no choice but to tell her about Ethan.

And his little Matilda… he wanted to get her back and keep her forever because he loved her and she'd loved him and nothing else mattered.

They were all his family and Cal wanted to do the right thing for all of them; to love them as fiercely, perhaps even as misguidedly, as Neeve had loved her mum.

But he'd lost them all. Matilda and Emilie had succumbed to their illnesses; little Matilda he'd given away and even if he did see her again, she wouldn't know he'd once been the most important person in the world for her. She would have changed so much. She was nearly two: she'd be walking and talking and she'd have her favourite games and her favourite toys and her own interests and a new daddy…

He'd like to think he hadn't lost Ethan, but Ethan was so different now. His sweet, kind, earnest, hardworking brother didn't exist anymore. Cal lifted his head from his hands and banged it in frustration against the head rest as he thought of all the times he'd longed for Ethan to be more like him, little knowing how much anguish it would cause; how much he'd miss the little brother he'd once had.

I want my family back, thought Cal, as he cried harder. I want to love them so much, nothing else matters. I want to do anything to make them happy. I want to put them before everything else in the world. I want to love them and protect them and keep them as safe as I can…

But I let them all go. I left Matilda to Ethan; left Emilie alone for so long after the first time I met her; I sent my little Matilda away and I encouraged Ethan not to be Ethan anymore.

And now I'm all alone and none of them need me and I need them more than anything else in the world. But they're not here.

They'll never be here because I let them go.

Ethan laughed and smiled at Alicia as she flirted. She looked so beautiful and Cal only had eyes for Sam Strachan, so why should he hold back anymore? He wanted her and she was behaving as though he wanted him and they'd been so good together. The best he'd ever had… not that there had been very many, but Ethan liked to think he was discerning: a man of taste. Not like Cal who'd sleep with anybody.

Alicia definitely wasn't just anybody…

Fuelled with a sudden hit of adrenaline and attraction, Ethan caught Alicia by the shoulders. "I want you!" he gasped out and he couldn't help feeling shocked he'd actually said it, even though he was a different person now – a better person – and there was nothing wrong with saying that.

Alicia's eyes widened and she pouted invitingly. "Oh, Dr Hardy! What kind of girl do you think I am?"

"I… I'm sorry," said Ethan, blushing.

"Well, I think I'm the kind of girl who might be able to do something about your… desires." Alicia hand moved across his thigh and slipped between his legs.

Ethan moaned. "Oh, Alicia."

He knew he was doing the right thing. He was making the most of his life. Grabbing every opportunity to enjoy himself.

Now, Alicia was grabbing him and he was enjoying it. He was definitely enjoying it because who wouldn't?

He began to kiss her, only for both to spring apart as they heard the door open.

Ethan groaned inwardly. He was really hoping Cal had gone to the pub, but all Cal thought about now was Sam and studying.

Cal stepped into the room. His eyes were red and swollen and there were tear tracks on his cheeks. Ethan felt his heart contracting. What had happened?

Alicia burst out laughing. "Oh, look, Ethan! Cal's been crying! What happened, Cal? Did that mean Sam Strachan break your heart? Did he say he only dates real surgeons? Did he say you look like a complete muppet in your designer shirts?"

Ethan turned to Alicia in shock, unable to believe she'd said that. Yes, they'd both teased Cal about his sudden interest in surgery and Ethan had told himself he'd really enjoyed teasing Cal and there was nothing wrong with it considering all the times Cal had teased him over the years.

But to tease Cal when he'd been crying…

"Poor baby!" sneered Alicia. "Poor little baby Cal. Can't cope with playing with the big, bad surgeons?"

Cal's eyes flooded again. He was clearly trying to keep his tears back, but they escaped and ran down his cheeks. With a sob, he fled to his room as Alicia laughed mockingly behind him.

"What a wuss!" said Alicia. "I mean, seriously. He needs to get over himself and grow up."

"He might have lost a patient!" said Ethan.

"We all lose patients," said Alicia. "We don't all go home and cry about it."

"Well, I do," said Ethan, his temper rising. "Sometimes I don't even wait till I get home. But thank you for warning me. Next time it happens, I'll know not to go to you for support. And I'm so sorry – clearly I misread the situation on the occasions I've comforted you when you've cried following the death of a patient."

Alicia stared at him. "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" said Ethan. "What's wrong is that someone I thought was a friend has been cruel to my brother when he's already upset."

Alicia pouted. "I can't help it if Sam Strachan doesn't fancy your brother."

"Alicia, don't you understand?" said Ethan. "I don't mean Mr Strachan. I mean you! You've done nothing but sneer at Cal for weeks!"

"I don't think that was just me," said Alicia, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe not," said Ethan sadly. "But I really wish I hadn't joined in. If he wants to be a surgeon, I should be supporting him, not laughing at him."

Alicia snorted. "Like Cal's ever going to be a surgeon. Hasn't got the intelligence, the attitude, the aptitude…"

"If that was true, I hardly think he'd have been able to perform a surgical procedure to save your dad's life!" snapped Ethan.

Alicia's eyes widened in shock and Ethan wondered if he'd gone too far, but moments later, the sneer was back.

"Going back to being Boring Ethan, are we?" Alicia sighed. "Just forget about Cal. He's just a big waste of space. Now where were we?" She smiled and put her hand back on Ethan's thigh.

Ethan removed her hand and put it on her lap. "I'm sorry, Alicia. I really think you should leave."

Alicia widened her eyes, then she started laughing. "Oh, drop it, Ethan. Stop playing the protective little brother: it doesn't suit you. Cal's being a pathetic little attention-seeker and you know it."

Ethan stood up. "I'm serious, Alicia. I'd like you to leave right now. And I don't want you to come near me or my brother ever again."

"Oh, hilarious, Ethan. There's nothing wrong with him. Strachan was probably too busy to smile at him or something and it's broken Cal's poor little heart."

"Even if he did, a broken heart is nothing to laugh about," said Ethan. He looked towards Cal's bedroom. "But I don't think it's that at all." He walked over to the front door and opened it. "Please leave, Alicia. Now."