DISCLAIMER: D. Gray-man belongs to Katsura Hoshino, TV Tokyo, Funimation and TMS, (As far as I know that's all of them) and seeing as my name is moontoga29, I do not own D. Gray-man, making this story solely for entertainment purposes.
A/N: First of all I'd like to brag about the fact that I actually met a dead-line I set for myself, so yay. Secondly, I'd like to comment on the premise for this story. It's called 'Let Flow in the Water', which is an approximate translation of the Japanese proverb, 水に流す, or mizu ni nagasu. This phrase is like their version of the English phrase, water under the bridge . I thought this phrase applied to a lot of things in DGM, predominantly Lenalee, Kanda, Lavi and Allen's pasts, the war, Allen and Kanda's relationship and, in this story, Lavi's comment. So there's your Japanese lessons for the day. Thirdly, if you're wondering what this story has to do with Valentine's Day, the holiday presumably started with one of the Saint Valentine's in history sending a love letter to his beloved on the night before his execution. Martyr's and people who love EVERYONE seem a bit familiar to me when I think of DGM (particularly the GRAY-EYED main character) and I thought the holiday needed a non-cliche story for the Yullen boys. Lastly, this story is set before Crowned Clown etc. but after introducing Miranda and Krory.
WARNINGS: Umm...SHOUNEN-AI if you appreciate subtlety. I warn you of DEPRESSING PREMISE. If you can't handle the Allen's past plot point, then this probably isn't going to be too good for you. Also BEWARE THE SASS OF ALLEN, I love Allen to bits, so I need to include his awesome BAMFness in every once in a while.
Which brings up another issue. I miss Cross. He's been MIA for too long, I'm going to have to write something with him. Him and Lavi too, I was kinda cruel to Lavi in this fic.
Moving on, this is my message to all the Valentine's Day cliches; stick THIS fic in your juice box and SUCK IT.
...Did I include language in my warnings? Too late.
Finally, Chapter 192. What...the fuck?
Without further ado...mizu ni nagasu.
Let Flow in the Water
水に流す; Mizu ni nagasu; let flow in the water - Japanese Proverb
A solitary phrase heard by countless people, countless times. A recurring day immortalized by one martyr, one night; the night of his execution. These damn phrases echo. These damn martyrs whisper, whisper of a phrase that makes no sense until it is heard no more.
I can never seem to elude these martyrs.
"Kanda!"
…Then again, I can't seem to elude anything.
My pace quickens though it doesn't have to. I need not run from a day, a feeling, or a young girl. After all, there's nothing to run from. The day instills no fear in me, the feeling has no power over me, and the girl presents no threat, only light and love.
The girl is an ally. Her name is Lenalee Lee.
My brief pause and slight turn is her only sign to proceed.
"Good morning," she smiles brighter than anyone, as if to contend the sun. "I trust that your training and meditation went well."
My silence is her cue to get to the point.
She follows.
"I called you to ask if you would mind sitting with us for breakfast."
I would have smiled at her change of topic if the gesture didn't seem so foreign, and faded, now. So I merely incline my head to show my attention.
It's no secret why Lenalee has made such a request; today is February the 14th, a day set aside specifically to accompany and appreciate your loved ones. This day loosely translates into the day where all her world is content and together, where she can cry and sigh and vie for the love of her friends. More importantly, it's the day where she can let the horrors of this war be swept away by the current.
"Che."
I continue into the canteen and leave her without either a word or answer to her request.
From my place at the front of the hall, I can see Lenalee tread dejectedly back to her seat across from Lavi. The red-head dances fervently for her and soon enough Lenalee is smiling again, though the distance between us deceives me into seeing sadness echo in her eyes.
I receive my soba and turn around, intent on continuing with my day as usual, without interference or disturbance of any kind.
Lenalee's smile when I sit beside her could blind Lavi's one remaining eye.
One morning missed to martyrs, girls and rabbits couldn't hurt.
We talked well into the afternoon. We talked of our exploits on missions since joining The Order, of Bookman's studies and of various events and goings-on around The Order. We talked about rigorous training, ancient history, appealing books and appalling stories. The war and love were topics subtly averted.
At some point early in the day, the moyashi ambled wearily into the canteen and joined our sorry excuse for a typical social gathering. With him there the conversation turned to more cheerful topics. Lavi regaled us with tales of his pranks and the results of his comedic idiocy, usually entailing an up close and personal reunion with Mugen. The moyashi awed and dumbfounded all with the inhuman capacity of his stomach. Lenalee delighted, and somewhat scared, Lavi and Allen with stories of her brother's experiments and solutions for suitors. I caught the moyashi tear up at the thought of Komui leading Bak to a sealed off cave with a poorly manufactured Lenalee doll hanging above a chasm of ravenous snakes and pheromone-ridden robots.
Throughout the day, our unlikely group was visited by several other allies. Komui was the first, procrastinating from work and screeching about the debauchery of the octopi that were trying to steal his sister away until the Section Cheif dragged the sorry madman back to his post. The second was Miranda, who stumbled into the canteen at around midday though she fled hastily after being assaulted by Lavi's blatant flirtation, blushing violently all the way to the door. Krory had interuppted her escape, shocked and embarrassed by their collision. His attempt to help Miranda to her feet was foiled by the dark-haired woman's sudden, and quite impressive, flight. After his encounter with Miranda, Krory joined us for a while as he ate his soba. I didn't think it would have been all too healthy for either of them if I were to learn why the sprout and rabbit were so enthralled by Krory's choice of meal. Johnny eventually came down and asked Krory to perform a task for the science department and they departed dutifully. Jeryy even joined us periodically to gossip and joke when business in the canteen was scant…or the moyashi got particularly hungry.
The day continued pleasantly, despite my pointed disinterest in the idle conversation. When I did happen to join the conversation it was too clash with the moyashi, to his sheer misfortune. Injury would have been averted, had it not been for Lavi's insolent comment concerning a certain forbidden expression on a certain someone's face. It's quite fortunate that the junior Bookman is equipped with lucky feet.
Once the afternoon light began to shine through the glass and into the halls of the Black Order, the moyashi's glaringly gold demon of a golem set his devil eyes on me. The second I felt those teeth sink into my hair I hurled the infernal orb of metal into the nearest structure and turned Mugen's sights on the owner responsible for such injustice. The sprout stood infuriated and contested my just indignation. I was fully prepared to reject this perfectly ruined day and storm from the canteen when Lenalee reprimanded us for being so touchy and childish on a day meant for acceptance and companionship.
She stared at us, unfaltering, with those dark, watery eyes and we knew we couldn't move. Immobilized by the strength of her will, we sat in comfortable silence until the sun began it's descent beneath the trees.
Lavi shatters that silence.
He talks of how nice it is to get out of the library even for a day, to stop studying and simply rest for a while. Lenalee nods vigorously while Allen and I gaze distantly at the red sky. Our unanimous agreement passes by unspoken.
Enticing Lenalee with the history and customs of Saint Valentine's Day, Lavi draws out a shy smile. Lavi delightfully turns to the withdrawn yet smiling Allen with a light-hearted grin.
A look at Allen and he doesn't understand at all. Doesn't understand why the setting sun seems darker or the easy grin, slightly heavier. Where is that Bookman's eye in the face of February?
One stray jest belies it all.
"Aww, don't worry Allen; Kanda's just grumpy because he knows no one loves him."
Lavi's grin spreads and Lenalee's lips frown at him half-heartedly, but my keen eyes see Allen's dim. He stands and excuses himself before uttering a polite thank you and a soft goodbye. He promptly exits the sundrenched canteen, as if burnt by its cheerful glow.
I can understand. Those dark eyes seem so very close.
They don't understand. Lenalee looks towards the door cheerlessly and Lavi looks towards me with a question brimming in his Bookman's eye.
"What's up with Allen?"
It doesn't matter who asks, I merely reply as I objectively close my eyes and lean a cheek on my hand, turning from the windows. Suddenly I don't feel very much like seeing the sun.
"A mother couldn't even love a cursed, detestable child."
My eyes don't need to be open to see the waves of emotion slap their faces. Silence ensues, dreadful, unrelenting silence.
A small, lightless voice rises from the dark.
"You don't think, Allen…"
Lavi's heavy sigh speaks more volumes than he'd ever read as a Bookman.
"…That idiot."
I hear Lenalee rise delicately from the table and vaguely register Lavi saying he'll search the lower floors before both their footfalls fade away. I remain in the canteen, waiting on something I can't quite place, then exit to compensate for the training I'd neglected today. I take the route leading to the roof.
"Lenalee…?"
In my ascent, I see Allen looking out at the setting sun over the railing. He's not alone. Standing beside him is a hushed Lenalee. From my place in the shadow of the corridor, neither of them can spot me. I have no reason to be here, and definitely no reason to stay. So what keeps me rooted here?
"Allen, about…"
Lenalee's soft voice cracks in the cold twilight air. It cracks, breaks, and falls away. In it's stead, she slowly approaches Allen and wraps him in her arms. After an audible pause, Allen returns her embrace with his right arm. She pushes her head into his shoulder and holds him closer to her still. When the moment passes and another fraction of the sun disappears, she pulls away sweetly and lightly kisses Allen's scarred forehead. She smiles and they quietly pull apart. They turn towards the sunset and don't speak a word, lest it ripple and distort the scene.
They make the perfect picture against the falling sun - her flowing hair and dark silhouette with his bright eyes and peaceful smile, basking in the beauty of another dying day.
The picture irritates me more than it probably should.
Without taking her eyes off the darkening sky, Lenalee's voice returns to assure Allen.
"I feel…that you're like Komui…without the psychosis."
I love you like a brother.
In the fleeting light, no one can see my expression.
Allen's, however, will always overwhelm any star.
"I have a feeling that you're a very kind and thoughtful sister, Lenalee."
They linger and watch the sky until the very last shard of light withdraws and gives way to the night. Lenalee turns to Allen in the evening glow and nods a soft goodbye.
"I've got to go find Lavi. We'll see you at dinner; I hear that Jeryy 's made some special raspberry truffles and extra sugar dumplings!"
I would have scoffed if I weren't concealed in the shadows. Leave it to the moyashi to have food as his happy thought.
Allen smiles reassuringly and voices a nice, "Bye, Lenalee."
Lenalee turns from Allen and passes me elegantly, though I seem to see a turned smile on her face. The evening light does peculiar things to one's sight.
I still have no reason to be here. I've stayed long enough. The moyashi is fine and this day is almost over.
I go to leave in silence.
"Kanda."
Damn perceptive moyashi.
Again, there's no reason for me to reveal myself, but I find myself stepping out of the shadows and moving to him. There are no phrases for me to say here, only a martyr awaiting one. I can suddenly understand why the evening air, like smoke, caught Lenalee's words in her throat.
I stop, stand like stone before him, and stare.
I don't want to whisper those nonsensical phrases. I only ever speak to capture something meaningful.
I remember now, being told something countless times. Some time, very long ago. Something about water…and bridges.
Forigve and...
The current will let it flow in the water.
A grin.
I simply take Allen's left hand, his red, disfigured hand, in mine, and shake it.
"...Kanda?"
His inquiry doesn't faze me and I retract my hand and glare at him once again.
My eyes stay keen and my words are sharp.
"I hate your Valentine's Day loving type."
That stupid grin.
"You would."
I send a final glare at him before huffing and turning to leave. I have no reason to stay. The roof's air had suddenly gotten uncomfortable anyways. It must be the altitude.
"Oh, Kanda?"
I'll regret ever having tossed a glance over my shoulder.
"Red's a very nice colour on you."
That damn martyr's grin.
A/N EDIT: Yay for editting. Okay so I basically just fixed grammatical errors and added in some clarifying adjectives or sentences, but I do like my changes and I hope you do too!
A/N: And that's it. That's my idea of what Valentine's Day goes like. That's how much of a failure I am at romance. Though Allen epically owned Kanda's denial. "It must be the altitude." He really is a BaKanda.
If you're wondering about the change in style throughout the story, there's a reason for it. In the beginning, Kanda is in a more meditative state because he just returned from training, and it shows in his increased detachment from what going on. In the flashback of the morning and afternoon, he's more involved with everyone though he feigns disinterest and this shows through the detail and slight humour. In the middle, the glum writing is a reflection of the event. All the repitition of diction throughout the middle and the end is on purpose, i didn't just run out of words. Finally at the end, the imagery and humour written into the evening scene corresponds to the emotions swirling around Kanda. I'm saying all this just so you know no one hijacked my computer and changed my style on me.
Also, if you've forgotten the significance of the handshake, go back and watch episode 2. I DARE you not to "AWW".
If you have any comments, criticisms or thoughts please share them, I love to hear back from you. Reviews are a single girls valentine!
Peace out guys, I've got to escape the bitter girls nightmare of Valentine's Day by fleeing to space...the final frontier.
...Ahh so close. XD
That damn martyrs grin.
It too flows in the water.
An unhello to all ~ moontoga29