Ok everyone, this is my first Fan Fiction in about five years, so be gentle. To go ahead and give you the setting, it starts out in District 4 and it's the time of the 2nd quarter quell (the one Haymitch wins). The characters (except for Haymitch obviously) are my own, also it contains some guy on guy action so if that bothers you, here's your chance to look for another story before you start.
Up, down, up, down, up, down…the boat slowly undulates as the waves splash against the side of the boat. Slowly and reluctantly I leave my happy place and my eyes flicker open to a vast grey sky, just as dreary as this day. The horrors of this day last year slowly creep into my mind, horrors that I've managed to keep out of my head for four months had been resurfacing lately with a vengeance. The horror of my cousin's demise at the edge of a sword last year, her final scream immortalized on television for the world to see. Despite her training, despite her score of ten, despite the fact that she had slain five competitors in that horrid game, she had succumb to some scraggly morphling addict from District 6, who by some strange act of God managed to survive to the final four, that had been lucky enough to catch her distracted while she was trying (and succeeding) to take out District 1's male competitor. It had been as if it were in slow motion (even when it was in real time, because the sadists also played it in slow motion right after), then I remember a sudden rush of numbness reaching my brain, paralyzing it, rendering me incapable of forming thought. In that moment, my best friend, the only family I would have left after my family found out my secret, was gone.
I sat up and gazed at the line holding this boat to the dock, I thought about cutting the rope and drifting away, away from my memories, away from Panem, away from this horrid game. But then the more realistic part of my brain kicked in and I knew that was ridiculous, there was nothing out there, the islands of old were long swallowed up by the advancing seas. And then the completely irrational part of my mind couldn't bear the thought of leaving him here. I stood up and climbed slowly on the dock and then began to slowly make my way to the square, I was in no hurry, despite the fact I would probably be late. As I was passing through the market district, I found him, my best friend (well replacement best friend I guess you could say) and the boy I had harbored a secret crush on for two years now, Emmitt. He was taller than me and more muscular, but it was due to genetics and had nothing to do with any kind of physical exertion. He was one of the rich (well…richer) citizens of District 4; he lived his life in relative ease compared to us poor fishin' folk. He was also useless in any kind of confrontation, which was inconvenient because he has a big mouth. Time and time again I'd have to rescue him from an ass kicking, then again I was always thrilled for a fight, I guess you could say it runs in the family, after all it was what prompted Hannah…thinking my cousin's name felt like being socked in the gut…to take the poor twelve year old girl's place that had been chosen last year. She had seemed like a hero, and I suppose she was, but I resented her for her decision. She had left me here to go become some glorious hero.
"Robert!" Emmitt called.
"You headed to the square?" he asked, in a much too happy-go-lucky way.
"Obviously" I responded coldly. I wasn't usually an asshole to him. In fact, his tendency to always be happy despite any kind of terrible circumstances has always been one of the main reasons I adored him.
"Ok" he said with a nod. He began walking beside my silently, not wanting to upset me I suppose. Emmitt is the only person other than Hannah…well I suppose the only person now…that knows I'm gay. He's always been perfectly accepting of it, but completely oblivious to how I felt about him.
As we entered the town square my brooding was interrupted by flashbacks of that horrible day. I was standing next to Emmitt in the male's section, and directly across from us was Hannah in the female's section. I remember how tense my large family was that day, we were all worried about my older cousin Sarah, and she was Hannah's older sister and was eighteen at the time. And to make matters worse she had taken out an obscene amount of teserrae in order to ensure that none of her siblings or cousins had to get any (which was ineffective, because I know that I had at least two that year). Her name had gone in twenty-eight times. Sarah has a fiery and confrontational personality, but it is starkly contrasted by her small and frail body. Standing at a mere five feet two inches and weighing ninety-four pounds she wouldn't stand a chance in the arena, despite how full of piss and vinegar she is. Then the grotesque looking man from the Capitol came up, no one in our district knows his real name, and he always introduces himself as the Dragon. He painted his face and filed his teeth in the strange way that Capitol citizens to in order to resemble the mythical creature. It was a failed illusion I always thought, he just looked like some kind of strange green demon with sharp teeth, the Demon would have been more fitting his appearance…and his job.
In my memory, he slowly drew from the girls names (after "politely" saying "Ladies first" in a way that made my skin crawl) he drew the name of Ayesha Miles, a twelve year old girl with dark skin. The crowd gasped in horror, Ayesha was so tiny she didn't appear to be more than nine. I saw her small form convulsing with fear as she took slow, shaky steps up towards the stage. She did not cry or whimper, she just continued her slow march to the top of the stage…to her executioner. Before she reached the top step an all too familiar voice boomed out from the girl's section.
"I volunteer myself instead" the voiced yelled. I turned in horror to watch my cousin advancing towards the stage. As she passed, the small child collapsed into her arms, thanking her repeatedly. Hannah stroked her hair, and held her in an embrace that seemed like minutes long, but was actually less than two seconds. The rest of the memory was a blur, I just remembered some poor boy being picked and then he and my cousin were whisked away to their deaths.
A light tap on my shoulder brought me back to reality, Emmitt pointed silently to where we supposed to go and I followed. Even his bright mood died when we returned to the same spot we stood last year. It was more than his mood that died, he was having memories too. He missed my cousin too, but in a way that hurt me even more. He had always had a crush on her, all through our childhood. When she died, he told me all about it. Needless to say this further complicated my emotional turmoil at the time, on top of grief, sorrow, rage, and resentment; I got to add jealousy to the mix. Emmitt, of course, was oblivious.
The Dragon came up on stage and explained the rules to this year's games. I felt stupid because I had forgotten about the Quarter Quell and that this year the Capitol would have an even more "fun" at our expense. I shivered at the stories I heard of the last Quell, the Districts had to vote on which of their friends and neighbors they'd be sending to their deaths. This year though, the great big glass orbs that contained thousands of little pieces of paper were sitting on the stage, so I knew that they had come up with a brand new way to torture us. The Dragon then announced that this year's Quell, the 50th anniversary, would require us to send twice as many sacrifices this year, in order to remind us that two district citizens died for every one Capitol citizen during the dark days.
My stomach tightened, as I just realized that my chances just suddenly doubled, not that they were good to begin with, my name went in six times for being seventeen and then four more times for the extra tesserae I needed for my family. Another one of my many cousins however took the brunt of it, that unfortunate cousin is Ty, he's eighteen this year and he took most of Sarah's burden since she is no longer in the drawing. My little brother John and I also took a few, but it looks like that won't help him. His name is in twenty-two times, but because of this rule, that's up to forty-four. Dread washed over me, I knew something horrible was going to happen. He was going to be picked and my large family was going to be mourning another. Though the odds definitely weren't in my family's favor, when I tally up the number of my cousins and siblings whose names are in those orbs the number comes to fourteen not including myself. I suddenly felt hostility towards my parents, aunts, and uncles; what were they thinking bringing this many children into the world in a place like this? I scanned the crowd and saw one of my little sisters, Elaine. It was strange to see her there. She had just turned twelve, so this was her first year. She had no tesserae so I didn't worry about her too much. Then I spotted John further ahead, closer to the stage, at fifteen with four tesserae he was at considerable risk. The thought made my stomach churn; I knew that if either of them were chosen I would offer to take their place, though I knew in Elaine's case that would be impossible because I'm male. Then I turned back to see my parents, my youngest sister Sheri was clinging to my mother blouse. Despite being only six she was very aware of the horror about to unfold. She was just a child, but it was easy to forget at times because she was so mature. It was always something I loved about her, but now I wished she was a normal little girl who didn't understand what was going on. The solemn look on her pale face killed that hope, she knew, but she knew more than that, I could tell that she had the same gut feeling that something horrible was about to happen that I did. Looking up I could see the same look etched on my mother's face, our strange intuition was something that the three of us shared. Moving to my father's face I saw nothing written in his expression; he was cold as ice as always.
"Ladies first" The Dragon said in that way that makes my skin crawl. I whirled around, my eyes glued to the grotesque form on stage. He slowly pulled a slip from the great, glass ball.
"Ayesha Miles!" he said loudly with a grin on his face.
The crowd gasped, and I felt as though I had been pulled back in time. I looked across to the female's section, but Hannah was not there. This horror was brand new, but ancient history at the same time. The same small figure from last year made her way slowly to the stage, despite being one year older she seemed smaller than she did the first time. This time she found herself on stage; no one took her place. I felt cheated; the stranger that my cousin died to protect was on the chopping block once again. At that moment, Hannah's sacrifice meant nothing.
"Josie Weatherford" The Dragon called out. Then I saw a tall, strong red headed girl take the stand with a smile…she was a career. Standing next to Ayesha she seemed even more deadly than usual, she was about six feet tall and was built like a man. She was hideous, but any girl that ever made fun of her facial hair ended up on her knees, begging for mercy. I knew that if it ever came between Ayesha and this girl, the small child wouldn't have a prayer. I was suddenly overcome by pity for the small, dark girl. I didn't even notice that a name had been drawn from the boy's ball.
"Robert Odair" The Dragon called out. I was stunned…me? How could it be me? I was suddenly overcome by fear, but my expression betrayed no emotion. I walked up and took my place, looking as fierce and deadly as I could. No one could tell that I was screaming for my mommy on the inside, but I dared not look at her. I continued looking straight ahead, staring at nothing. I didn't even watch The Dragon pull out the final slip.
"Emmitt Asher" … The world went silent and my heart stopped beating…I was too stunned for thought. I knew that my fierce expression must have melted off my face. After that we were whisked away to our deaths. And I felt as though I had been swallowed by a black hole.