A/N: for Isabelle on your Birthday because domesticity and babies. Love you hella.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
i. When Boyle and Genevieve adopt their baby, it's an all-round excellent day.
Everyone is ridiculously pleased for them. Boyle is hysterical (literally hysterical, tears and all) with happiness, although that was to be expected.
Jake and Amy drive over to Boyle's house to meet their goddaughter, excited and nervous all at once.
"You're here!" Boyle greets enthusiastically as they arrive at the doorstep, ushering them inside. "Come in, come in."
Amy has never found herself to be particularly good when it comes to children. They cry a lot and she can never work out why, they're so small and vulnerable and needy. It kind of stresses her out.
So she can't help tensing up slightly when Boyle thrusts the little thing in her direction with a proud grin on his face.
"Amy why don't you try holding her," Boyle suggests.
"Oh, I don't know," Amy hedges, attempting to think of an excuse not to.
"Come on, Ames, she's not gonna bite," Jake encourages.
Amy takes an uneasy breath, accepting the little one reluctantly.
"Oh!" Amy gasps in surprise as the baby settles into her awaiting arms. "She's heavier than I expected."
"Eight pounds," Boyle nods enthusiastically, "This baby app I have says she's about as heavy as a small bag of sugar. It doesn't specify what kind of sugar, though. I reckon a packet of natural Turbinado."
"Sure," Jake nods as if he knows what Boyle is on about.
Amy shifts her weight, to grip the newborn tighter. She's so insanely tiny and breakable Amy can't help the small panic that she feels.
But, at the same time, she isn't freaking out as much she had been anticipating. In fact, the warm little baby feels kind of nice in her arms, like a hot water bottle, snuggling against her chest and gurgling incoherently.
"She's so sweet," Amy says in awe.
Charles leans over to make a proper introduction.
"This is Auntie Amy," he states happily.
"Hello," Amy smiles at the baby girl wriggling in her arms.
"I want a turn, I want a turn," Jake interrupts, bouncing up and down excitedly. "Kids love me," he adds to Amy.
"It's true," Boyle remarks as Amy passes the baby over to her boyfriend. "Jake's always been weirdly good with kids."
Amy watches as Jake sways from side to side, fussing over Boyle's daughter animatedly.
Huh. It's not a massive surprise that Jake is a natural with children, given his playful personality. Amy's just never given it a whole lot of thought before.
Looking at him now with a little human wriggling in his arms, Amy can't help the little flutter that she feels in her stomach. He looks so well-suited to being a parent as he boops the new-born on her tiny nose.
"You're gonna make such a great Dad, Jake," Boyle states as if reading Amy's mind.
Amy holds her breath for Jake's reaction, wondering what he thinks about parenthood. It's not something they've ever really discussed.
Jake just grins, never taking his eyes off the baby that he's carefully holding.
"I can't wait."
ii. It's late on a Tuesday evening when Amy finally decides to reveal what's been on her mind for the past couple of weeks.
She and Jake had got back from work late and ordered takeout. Jake is just slurping up the remainder of his chicken chow mein, slumped against the couch cushions, staring intently at the infomercial playing on TV.
Amy opens her mouth to speak but Jake beats her to it.
"We need to get one of those," he announces in awe, mesmerised by the salesman promoting a brand new, top of the range blender. "We could make smoothies!"
"Jake, you've never made a smoothie in your life."
"Uh-uh, not true," Jake turns to her, wagging his finger. "What about the time I blended together peanut butter, lucky charms and gummy bears?"
Amy just blinks at him, not quite sure how to respond.
"Boom, smoothie!" Jake finishes, grinning proudly.
Amy rolls her eyes at the momentary digression, suddenly feeling sick with nerves. She clears her throat.
"Jake –"
"You're right, we probably don't need the blender."
"Forget about the blender for a second," Amy pleads in frustration.
Jake takes a moment to assess Amy's unamused look and quickly drops his smile.
"Hey, what's up?" Jake asks, finally sensing her serious tone.
He places his empty takeout container on the coffee table in front of them and turns to face Amy properly, his expression soft.
Amy inhales a large gulp of air, attempting to settle her nerves.
"I just wanted to talk to you about… something."
Jake arches an eyebrow curiously.
"If this is about the stray cat I sometimes let sleep in the bathroom –"
"What?" Amy demands in shock. "Why would you –" she shakes her head, ignoring Jake's ridiculous antics for now. "Never mind. No it's not about that."
"Oh. Then what is it?"
"It's about Charles, actually."
"Boyle? What's he done now?"
"No, no, he hasn't –" Amy cuts herself off with a huff. She is not explaining herself as well as she would like to be. "Not Boyle but more his daughter."
Jake immediately perks up at the mention of the baby which Amy takes as a good sign.
"Yeah, she's super cute," Jake muses.
"I know," Amy chimes in, smiling happily. "She is. Seeing you with her and holding her myself was just… it was such a surreal experience. I've never been particularly maternal before but it just made me feel so…" she trails off, not knowing how to finish.
Jake's eyes grow wide in understanding as Amy speaks. Surprise clouds his face for a few moments before his eyes grow earnest. A glowing warmth settles over his features.
"You want a baby?" he asks slowly.
Amy shrugs lightly, attempting to look casual but she can feel her heart racing.
"I mean. I think we'd be good parents."
Jake shakes his head at Amy's word choice, reaching forward to take her hand in his. Their eyes meet, full of so much anxious excitement and intensity and love.
"Good?," Jake scoffs. "We're gonna be the best."
iii. "Ames!" Jake calls as he swings the front door of their apartment back forcefully. It hits the wall with a thundering bang. "I hope you're well rested and feeling limber! It's baby making time!"
Jake dumps his bag and jacket and saunters further into the apartment, sticking his head round the corner into the living room where he assumes Amy will be.
She is sitting on the couch, as predicted, however a familiar face that Jake hadn't been expecting is also present. Holt gets to his feet as Jake enters, his expression unreadable as always.
"Captain!" Jake exclaims in surprise. Amy is shooting him a furious look, obviously embarrassed by his ridiculous entrance.
"Jake," Holt nods, one of his eyebrows quirking ever so slightly at Jake's words.
"Wha-at are you doing here?" Jake questions, his tone still somewhat startled.
"I was just dropping off this ceramic dish on my way home," Holt explains briefly, gesturing to the receptacle in question which is sitting atop the kitchen counter.
"Ceramic what now?" Jake parrots, perplexed.
"Yes, Amy made Kevin and I an anniversary casserole in it," Holt elaborates.
Jake almost laughs because, knowing Amy, it was inevitably pretty unpleasant; she's never exactly been the best chef in the world. He just about manages not to.
"Oh I see," Jake nods. "How was the casserole?"
Holt's lip twitches.
"It was… delicious," he lies unconvincingly.
"Well," Amy interrupts, still looking mortified at the entire exchange, "thanks so much for bringing it round."
"Not at all," Holt dismisses. "I'll, uh… leave you two to it."
"Yeah, me and Amy have a long night ahead planned," Jake chimes in cheerily, much to Amy's irritation. "You probably don't wanna stick around."
Holt doesn't react to Jake's words, heading to the door. Amy glowers.
"Goodnight detectives."
"Night Cap'n!" Jake calls after him.
The door shuts and Jake and Amy are alone.
"You are such a moron sometimes!" Amy fumes, slapping Jake's arm with the back of her hand.
"I didn't know Holt would be here returning some stupid pot!" Jake cries defensively.
"It's not a stupid pot it's hand painted terracotta," Amy corrects in frustration.
"Okay, well I'm sorry!" Jake reaches forward to pull Amy in for a kiss. She may seem mad but Jake knows she'll be fine in a second or two. She just doesn't like being embarrassed in front of Holt. "I bet I can make it up to you," Jake waggles his eyebrows suggestively.
Amy laughs at that, unable to stop herself. She takes a breath, looping her arms around Jake's neck and kissing him again. His lips are chapped from the cold spell they've been having in Brooklyn, his breath minty.
"Were you serious about, y'know –"
"The fact that it's baby making night?" Jake finishes, grinning. "Oh yeah."
Amy beams, taking Jake by the arm and leading him to their bedroom. Jake's hands are wandering in no time, trailing down Amy's spine, cupping her ass and tugging at her clothes.
"Trying for a baby was, like, the best idea we've ever had," Jake marvels happily as Amy removes her work shirt.
"Shut up and come here," she demands.
Jake doesn't argue.
iv. Amy stands by the fact that she wants to be a mother and wants a child of her own.
But the actual being pregnant part is something that she definitely wouldn't mind skipping.
Amy waddles into work that morning, seven months gone, unable to see her own feet beneath her. Every step is a struggle, every movement aches. She can barely make it five minutes without needing to pee or throw up.
"Detective Santiago," Hold addresses her, his tone stern, when he sees her walk into the precinct that morning. "I thought I told you not to come to work today. You can officially take your leave. You don't have to be here."
"I know, I know," Amy nods continuing slowly towards her desk. "But really, I feel fine to work."
In all honesty, she probably should be at home in bed but it's just so boring. She has to watch Jake work cases every day while she sits and does nothing but slowly expand like an over-pumped balloon.
"Detective Santiago I don't want to have to order you to go home but I will," Holt threatens.
"Sir, please let me stay," Amy begs. "I'll just work from my desk, nothing strenuous."
"Santiago!" Terry suddenly appears, noticing Amy and sighing in exasperation. "You're not supposed to be here!"
"I know!" Amy moans. "I'm not a child you know, everyone needs to stop telling me what I can and can't do."
"Jake's on a stakeout with Rosa right now but when he gets back he's gonna go mad if he sees you here," Terry argues. "He told me specifically to make sure you stay home. Terry takes pregnancy very seriously!"
"I don't see what everyone's problem is," Gina decides to weigh in from where she sits at her own desk.
"Thank you, Gina," Amy exhales heavily.
"If Amy wants to put her unborn child in danger by hanging out in a police precinct full of criminals, so be it," Gina finishes with a shrug.
"Wh – that's not what I'm doing!" Amy protests.
"I have to agree with Gina on this one," Holt nods solemnly. "A police precinct is no place for a child."
"But –"
"No but's, detective. You need to be at home."
"Sir, if you just –"
Amy doesn't get to finish her sentence as Jake and Rosa march into the precinct at that exact moment. Jake does a double take when he sees his girlfriend.
"Amy what are you doing here?! I thought we agreed you would stay at home," Jake rushes over, concern seeping into his tone.
"But it was awful," Amy whines. "I was bored and lonely."
"Bored and lonely – title of your sex tape," Jake grins triumphantly at his humour.
"Dude how are you still making those jokes?" Rosa comments. "Doesn't make much sense now you two are an actual couple."
"Because they're still funny," Jake says as if it's obvious before shaking his head at the brief distraction. He turns back to Amy. "No, you can't be here, it's not safe."
"Jake –"
"You know it's the right thing to do," Jake cuts her off, turning serious. He smiles. "Hey, look at me bring the sensible one in the relationship!"
Amy rolls her eyes.
"You are not the sensible one," she disagrees in a mutter.
"Okay, look, how about this," Jake suggests thoughtfully, "I could work at home for a couple days a week and keep you company."
Amy blinks, surprised by the considerate proposal.
"Provided that's allowed," Jake adds, looking at Holt hopefully.
"That's fine by me," Holt affirms, "as long as you get your work done on time."
Amy nods slowly.
"Yeah, having some company sounds a lot better, actually," she smiles. "And that way I can help with some of your cases!"
Jake grins, proud of his solution. He leans down to speak directly to Amy's baby bump.
"Don't worry little buddy," he murmurs, "I've got your back. I won't let your mother expose you to a load of drug dealing, knife-wielding criminals."
"Hey!" Amy places her hands on her hips, frowning at Jake.
"I mean, she's gonna be a great mom, can't wait for you to meet her," Jake backtracks with a nervous laugh. He stands up straight, looking at Amy, "I was just talking to the baby," he clarifies. "Private stuff."
"Hmm," Amy grumbles. "If you're gonna take me home you better make it fast cos I'm gonna need to pee in about three minutes."
Jake claps his hands together with a nod, addressing the others in the room.
"And that's our cue to leave."
v. When the baby is born, Amy couldn't be more relieved.
The labour was horrific, sure. Her waters had broken while Jake was in the field working a case so she had ended up having to call Gina to help her. The car journey had been beyond stressful and, when she finally made it to hospital, she'd been panicking so hard she almost passed out.
But, despite all of that, it was worth it.
Jake had managed to get there in time for the birth, squeezing Amy's hand and dealing with her wild screams.
"Everything hurts!" she had panted desperately, digging her fingernails into the palm of Jake's hand.
"Uhhhh," Jake had panicked, "what will make you feel better? I could sing?"
Amy had simply screamed in response as she pushed, a shrill shriek escaping her mouth.
"You're doing so well, we can see the head!" one of the midwives had praised encouragingly.
"They can see the head!" Jake repeated. He attempted to turn the short bit of good news into a song, creating a tune and freestyling some lyrics. "The head is there, you're pushing out a tiny human, here comes the head, hope our baby smells like cumin –"
"No singing!" Amy had screeched.
"Okey-dokey, cool cool cool cool, that's a no on the singing, singing is not helpful," Jake replied, trying to cover up how flustered he was. "Maybe if I just start listing things you like to take your mind off of things?"
"Jake," Amy had forced out between shaky breaths.
"Lavender scented bubble baths," Jake began, trying to keep his tone light. "CSI: crime scene reruns, knitted quilts, those new binders you just ordered with adjustable –"
"Jake!" Amy cried breathlessly. "Please! Just – I need you to just be here. You don't need to say anything. I need you to just be here. Okay?"
Jake had paused for a second, the bravado slowly disappearing. He cleared his throat and tightened his grip on Amy's sweaty hand. He nodded.
"I'm here."
vi. "What's his name?" Gina asks quietly, looking down at the hot, red bundle in Amy's arms.
"Hans," Jake smiles softly. "Hans Gruber Peralta-Santiago."
Amy ignores her boyfriend's idiocy, stroking the small amount of hair on the tiny baby's head.
"We haven't decided on a name yet," she clarifies, looking up from the hospital bed at her surrounding friends.
"He's beautiful," Charles comments with tears in his eyes. His voice is thick with emotion. "The perfect little addition to an already perfect family."
"He sure is a handsome little one," Terry agrees, radiating joy.
"It's not crying," Rosa observes. "I respect that."
"He," Amy corrects but she doesn't really mind.
Rosa's not wrong about the no-crying thing, though. The little baby in Amy's arms is completely silent, his chest rising and falling with every tiny breath taken. His eyes are sealed shut as he sleeps peacefully.
"He's all worn out," Charles nods. "It's been a long day for you, hasn't it little man?"
"It's been a longer day for me," Amy disputes, her eyes slightly manic. She leans down to whisper to the newborn, "you ripped my vagina open with your head."
"Okay," Jake reaches forward and lifts the blanketed bundle out of Amy's arms and into his own. She lets him do it, kind of grateful to have a break. "I think mommy is a little delirious from lack of sleep and too many pain killers," he tells the little one.
"And the vagina ripping," Amy adds. "I'm gonna need stitches."
"Yep," Jake agrees with her, rocking from side to side. "And that."
"A little bit TMI, Ames," Gina frowns.
"I have so many great outfit ideas for you," Jake coos down at the baby he holds, ignoring Gina. "I'm gonna dress you up in a little cowboy booties and make you a miniature lassoo."
"Peralta-Santiago baby calendar!" Boyle exclaims in excitement.
"Yes Boyle!"
Amy rolls her eyes at the boys but there's love in her smile.
"Well I think you've performed excellently today," Holt appraises Amy, his tone marginally softer than usual. "We're all very proud of you detective Santiago."
"Hear hear!" Terry beams.
"To Amy!" Boyle agrees, fist pumping the air.
"Hey, I helped make him!" Jake objects. "We wouldn't all be here if it wasn't for my excellent conceiving skills."
Rosa reaches over and punches him in the arm, careful not to disturb the sleeping baby.
"What Amy just did is way harder than anything you'll ever do in your whole life," she speaks in a measured tone.
Jake wavers for a moment before giving in.
"Yeah, I know." He turns to look at his exhausted girlfriend and smiles. "To Amy," he repeats lowly.
"We should probably give you two some space," Holt abruptly announces, gesturing to the others. "Back to work, squad. We'll see detectives Peralta and Santiago back at the precinct soon."
The squad slowly trickle out of the room, smiles and hugs given as they do.
Once they are alone, Amy looks up and Jake and the bundle in his arms. The baby. Their baby.
"Isn't he just perfect?" Amy sighs contentedly.
"He's like a little Jake-Amy hybrid," Jake admires in wonder. "Like. We made this little dude. With our junk."
"We made him and he's perfect."
Jake looks up at her, a slightly disbelieving smile on his face.
"You're surprisingly calm," he notes. "I thought you'd be freaking out a bit. I mean, a baby is a big responsibility."
Amy smiles softly, meeting Jake's gaze and holding it.
"I'm not worried," she shrugs.
"No?" Jake raises his eyebrows. "You think we'll be good parents?"
"Not just good," Amy corrects simply, reminding him of his own words from nine months ago. "We're gonna be the best."