*sigh* I'm so glad I'm writing KH again...
Hi guys(: I know you haven't heard from me in awhile. Haha well this idea of a reform KH came to me while I was cleaning the shower a couple of weeks ago. I've thought about this for awhile now, but I never got to writing it. Uhmm, towards the ending I got lazily and didn't edit it sooo there might be some errors :) No one's perfect. So I hope you guys like this :P It took me a week to write this, so hopefully I get Ch. 2 finished this weekend? *fingers crossed*
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, or places mention here. They all belong to Square Enix. Because they're bosses like that (:
I also like Reviews ^o^ So feel free to leave some thoughts!
Enjoy yo!
I had only one expression on my face, and that was anger. I was pissed as hell, and I wasn't thinking straight. It was as if I was high on my own anger, and my instincts just took control of me. From the crowd I heard Sora yelling at me, probably trying to make his way through to stop me. Hundreds of eyes followed me and Hayner, as I was dragging him to the patio. My mind was trying to think, but I didn't let it. Hayner was kicking and screaming, begging me to let him go, that he was sorry, and that he made him do it. It didn't help his case at all, because once I was done with him, he was next. My fist clenched his shirt, trying to hold back until I reached the patio. I just didn't understand how many people could take me for someone who doesn't have any feelings. I'm a person just like everyone else.
I was shocked at the fact that no one stopped me. Instead they were filming everything happening. I guess that's society today now today.
It pleased me to hear Hayner yelling at me, saying his "sorry" 's , and "I love you" 's. It was all cute, but now I just didn't give a flying fuck.
No, I couldn't care less. All I knew was that I was about to drop Hayner to the concrete floor that stood 10 feet from the cafeteria patio.
It started as any other day. I woke up my brother Sora, got dressed and headed down stairs. My mother was waiting down the stairs to hand me my backpack and things. I smiled at her, grabbed said things, and walked over to my father, who was also smiling down at his son. I turned to the living room and saw my baby brother of 8 months Ventus cooling at me, and shaking his rattle. Sora soon came down, smiling big as ever, and went over to pick up Ventus from the cradle and spun him around. My mother laughed a very robotic laugh, and went to pick up baby Ventus to put him back in his cradle. My father smiled at me, pouring his daily coffee as he leaned on the counter reading his newspaper. My mother walked over to us, her heels clicking on the wooden floor, in her polka dotted apron, with both our breakfasts in her hands. She politely told us to "Eat up!" in her most American style voice like any other mother would say.
Yeah, we're a pretty picture perfect family right? All happy and smiles, nothing bothering us.
Wrong.
My brother and Sora and I have secret identities. Him being the openly gay who wears only the latest fashion in any of the millions of fashion magazines he reads. He was head over heels for a guy named Riku, which happened to be one of my best friends until he got kicked out of school for smoking weed in the boys' restroom. I on the other hand am a total closed gay, who dresses in black and listens to the only darkest music there is. I currently am dating the most popluar sophomore, Hayner, who is one of Sora's friends. Weird how that worked out huh?
Despite our gayness, Sora and I are very close. I guess you can say that I have three identities because I act like another person around my brother, but let's keep that secret alright?
Sora and I waved to our father as he drove off to work. We kept waving until we saw the car turn the corner. I gave a sigh, and walked back into the house, taking off my stupid blue cotton vest and bow tie and tucked out my Rise Against concert t-shirt. Sora began to go through his back pack and take out a stylish cap he bought, and rolled up his pants to reveal checkered socks and pulled on his Oxfords.
"You boys are going to get caught one of these days." My mother spoke, taking off her apron and hanging on a hook.
Both Sora and I looked up at our mom and gave her a stare. She was in this as bad as we were.
Our mom knew that both of us were gay and that we had another identity at school. Besides, she's the only one that goes to our parent–teacher conferences at school. She knew ever since she caught Sora and I looking at guy celebrities photos on the internet. She cried a bit, but then felt that she was responsible that we had to hide who we really. So then she decided that once we're ready, we both can tell our father about our true colors, but until then, we were allowed to be whoever we wanted to be at the house– as long as my mother was home.
"Mom, don't even worry about it. We'll tell him soon." I spoke as I went to pull out an eyeliner pencil walking over to the living room mirror.
"Well I don't think I'll be telling him anytime soon." Sora stated as he kept his cotton vest on and began adding his accessories.
My mother walked over to me and snatched the pencil from my hands. "I approve of anything else, but make-up." I glared at her, but then she just kissed my forehead, which made me smile, and walked back to the kitchen.
I respected my mom so much. I was glad that she could read us so easily, and that we could be ourselves at home. But I knew that it broke her heart to make her lie to my father every day until we find a way to tell him about ourselves. It bothered me too, but not enough to go and tell my dad about me.
"Come 'on boys, you are going to be late for school."
Our mom drove us to school and told us that she would pick us up once school got out as always. And with our departure, we waved to her as she drove off. I turned to walk into the school, and Sora stayed behind to talk to his friends that hung out in the front of the school. Yeah we're brothers and all, but we have a reputation to uphold. Sora's the fashion police with his fashion crazed friends, and I'm the school bad boy because once Riku left, the position went to me. It's a title that I should be honored to have because people respect me when I walk down the hallway. I give them just a glance, and they instantly turn their gaze elsewhere.
Damn it felt good to have this power. And I'm not even a senior.
I didn't have time to go to my locker because the bell rang. I had first period P.E with all the underclassmen, Hayner being one of them. To how I am attracted to him, I don't know. I guess I just have a things for cute little boys who decide to show off some shoulder one day.
And boy was Hayner showing shoulder.
I walked straight back to the end of the locker room. No one dared to go the back of the locker rooms, because: one, it is disgusting as hell and no one cleans it, and two, I only have a locker back there and I like my privacy. But luckily for Hayner, he was stuck with me as a locker buddy. The day he took his shirt off, he was asking to be ravished that day. Damn was he asking for it. I knew that he purposely took his shirt off in the slowest motion ever. Luck for him I never pack towels for after when I shower. We hit it off very quickly after that. Every time I would still a kiss, and he would just giggle, which drove me crazy.
But for some reason he wasn't there for our daily morning make-out session. This worried me a bit, because he usually is here before I am. Nevertheless, I quickly got dressed and headed towards the gym.
I walked very impatiently to the gym, because I like my morning kisses. I hate when my schedule is interrupted. There, sitting on the stands, was Hayner, cute as ever with a pout on his face. He spotted me, and his face went pale white. This was strange because usually he'll try to hide his humongous grin. As I walked towards him, he didn't dare look me in the eye. I was now starting to be worried.
"Hey cutie." I usually greeted him.
His head was down, not facing me.
"Why didn't you dress today?" I asked, holding back my worried emotions.
Hayner looked up to the side, as if something else caught his eye. "Not feeling good."
I arched a brow. "Oh yeah? Whatcha got?"
Hayner sighed rather annoyingly and got up to go walk to the other end of the stands. Oh what the hell? This was not my cute little Hayner I see every morning. This was someone who looked like he was tired of me. And that cannot be possible because he was the one who said that he loved me just one week ago. How can you say that you love someone, and act like this the week after? Of course, after he said this, I drove both of us to the edge, hoping to avoid my answer back to him.
I ran over to stand in front of him. This time, I tried a tone that I only use with Sora and my mother, no one else had never heard before, not even him. "Hayner please, what's wrong?"
Hayner looked straight up at me, his big hazel eyes staring right into my blue ones. It took him almost a minute to bring his head back down, and walk past me, bumping his shoulder into mine.
Whoa. Whoa. There was no need for that. I'm the only who can do such a thing.
My school identity kicked in, and I grabbed Hayner by his shoulder and shoved him back towards me, so that I was seeing his face. I was taller than him by like 5 inches, so I looked down at him. "What the hell is eating you up, huh?"
Hayner closed his eyes, and looked away. He hated when I was like this to him, but I had to be. I wanted to know what was eating my munchkin. It hurt me to see him tremble, because usually he just lingers in my arms. But right now, it looked like I was bulling him like I do to any other freshman.
"Hey!" a voice called from the distance. "You're making a scene Roxy."
The voice was familiar, because I hung out with the voice. I despised that voice because he was flirting with Hayner before me. But Hayner just happen to choose me. He made it a point that he was going to take my title away from me. The voice came nearer and was standing to my right.
"Whatcha you got there Roxas?" Seifer asked, looking only at Hayner, which pissed me off.
"Nothing," I smiled at Hayner. "Just talking to this little cutie about something."
Seifer never took his gaze off of Hayner. "Well I think you should be finished right about now, no?"
"Actually," I began, but I was interrupted by Hayner speaking.
"We just finished."
I gave Hayner a death look. Why was he even speaking? He is already in enough trouble as it is. And what makes him think that I would let him talk to Seifer? Something looked very suspicious the way Seifer looked at Hayner, as if someone tickled his fancy this morning, something that I never got this morning. God, I'm such a cranky bitch without my sweet morning boy kisses.
"Come Hayner, I need to have a chat with you." Seifer began to take Hayner's shoulder, but the minute he touched the guy my instinct kicked in and I pulled Hayner closer to me.
"Hayner we have to go check in with the coach."
Seifer and I never broke eye contact.
Hayner then shrugged me off his shoulder and walked over towards Seifer. "I already checked in."
And then like that, they walked off.
I looked for them the rest of the period, but I did not see either one of them, and that began to piss me off. I tried not to let bother me the rest of the day, but damn I did not trust Seifer. He's been after me since Riku left, and I can't believe I didn't see this coming. I shouldn't be worked up about this, but I am. I just care too much for Hayner. I mean, I haven't even gotten in his pants yet, and I still care about the guy. I may look like a bad boy on the outside, but in the inside I'm a helpless fucking romantic. And damn was I helplessly caring for Hayner too much.
The rest of the day went by so fast. During lunch time, I looked around the cafeteria or Hayner, or Seifer. Neither of them decided to show their face in public today. I picked at my orange, and threw the pieces down on my tray.
"What's eating you kid?" Larxene, a chick who hangs out with the group and suddenly became my closest friend, asked with her mouth full of food.
I kept throwing my petals on the tray. "Hayner went with Seifer today during first, and I haven't seen them since."
Larxene scoffed, and threw her burger down on her plate. "Really? You're this depressed thing over some freshman?"
"Sophomore." I corrected.
Larxene adjusted herself, and leaned in to talk softly to me.
"He's nobody. You'll find somebody else. Obviously he already has."
I looked up from my orange and glared at her. "Don't say shit like that."
Larxene backed away and shrugged. "Just saying the truth Roxas. Deal with it."
"I wouldn't have to deal with it because it's not true."
"Roxas!" I heard Sora from across the cafeteria.
I stiffened up, and tried to act normal and continue peeling my orange.
"Roxas!" I heard his voice calling closer.
Larxene held her burger up, chewing. "That one fashionista-faggot is calling you."
"Shut up Larx, that's my brother."
Just then Sora landed right next to me, panting. "Roxas! I need to tell you something!"
I got closer to his face, giving him a death stare. "Didn't we go over the rules of how we should meet during school?"
"Yeah, yeah, in the back of the school where the dumpsters are. But this can't wait!"
I scoffed, and began attacking my orange once again. Damn this is so hard to eat, don't know why it is a food product.
"Why didn't you just text me? So we would avoid this meeting."
"It's about Hayner."
I squezed my orange in my hand, the juices dripping from my fingers. I quickly turned to Sora, and was expecting more. He took the note, and went on with his gossip.
"Well, Kairi texted me that Namine told her, that Yuki heard from Sophie that Leon told Cloud that he caught Hayner and Seifer macking in the downstairs boys restroom."
I didn't understand anything he said besides Hayner macking on Seifer.
Seifer.
So there was something wrong with him. He was over me. He went and got bewitched by Seifer. I couldn't believe that Hayner, would go after someone like Seifer, who probably just wants to get in his pants, then leave him for dead. I on the other hand will still be there for him. For some reason, I felt the need to look up to the entrance of the cafeteria, and just my luck there he was, with Seifer, acting as if nothing happened. Probably just finished a really hot session in the restroom. Those dirty whores.
Sora caught my gaze, and gasped. "Roxas, don't."
"Too late."
I waited until Seifer went back into the hall. I then shot up from my seat, catching Hayner right when he was about to get in line to buy food. I pulled him by the arm, having him shriek. Once he met my gaze, he became frozen, and fear was in his eyes. I bet right now it looked like I was bullying him. But I wouldn't do such a thing to my precious Hayner. Oh no, I would do something even worse.
"What's this I hear you and Seifer getting it on in the restroom down stairs? Wanna tell me that it isn't true?"
My voice was low, but even a low tone, Hayner still looked scared shitless. He winced as I tighten my grip on his arm.
"Roxas let go you're hurting me." Hayner whined.
"How about you answer my question and we'll see where it goes from there?"
Hayner looked at me, guilt in his eyes, and sadness in his face.
"Answer me!" I yelled in his face.
Just by this the whole cafeteria stood silent. I never took my eyes off of Hayner, and he did the same to me. I was glaring at him with legit ideas of murder on my face. Rumors go around the school that I beat up a kid every day, and it's true. Today I did not fulfill that acquirement today, and I feel bad not keeping that rumor upheld.
"Answer me Hayner." I said through my teeth, just about an inch away from his face.
Hayner's expression all of a sudden changed, and he just sighed, looking serious. He then did something that shocked the hell out of me; He pushed me. Like a full 5 feet away shove from him. I was so stunned at this I lost my balance and fell to the floor.
"I'm tired of being just your stupid boy toy! You make me sick!"
Just hearing the words broke my heart. But then I noticed we had caused a scene, and I knew that I was not going to be the victim in this. Not at all. There is no way you are going to make a fool out me, because in the end you are the one that is going to look ridiculous after.
"Oh yeah? That's not what you said to me last week."
Everyone in the lunch room gasped. Everyone knew I was gay, but no one knew that I was dating an underclassman. So of course this came as a shock to everyone that I would date such a human being, and that I do not have heart of charcoal, that indeed do have a soul and it was not sold to the devil.
"I honestly don't know what I was thinking." Hayner stated his nose in the air.
"Yeah you probably weren't thinking because you were so high on saying 'I Love You' so many times."
The crowd laughed a bit, and since I got the whole school to embarrass him, I figured that I would make him feel worse about cheating on me.
"What cheesy shit did you say? 'Oh Roxas, I'll never love another! Please Roxas, say you love me back! Oh Roxas you make my heart melt!'"
The whole cafeteria laughed, and a few took out there phones. I knew I wanted to get a good show out of this. Maybe having my heart broken wasn't so bad. I continued on, hoping that I'll make him crack after this.
"To why I ever considered going with someone like you amazes me every single day of my pathetic life."
Hayner angled his jaw sideways, and began to walk towards me. I could tell he was pissed off, but he looked so damn cute. We were now face to face, and it took everything I had in myself not to kiss him. I whispered softly, so that the crowd wouldn't hear.
"Say that you won't ever see him again, and I'll stop this whole thing."
Hayner smirked and kept looking at me. Someone from the crowd yelled "KISS ALREADY!" which was probably a teenage girl. I smiled at him, and tilted my head towards the side.
"Everyone is waiting." I cooed at him.
Hayner just kept smiling. He then leaned in forward, which made me think that he was going to actually kiss me. But this is Hayner we're talking about. The one who cheated on me with Seifer? I don't knwo what kind of shit he is going to pull. He put his mouth close to my ear, and whispered words that stunned me.
"I spent my entire weekend with Seifer."
Just Seifer's name in that sentence made my blood boil. The smile was stripped from my face. He backed away, and continued on with his smile as we walked a few steps back from me. I looked at him, stunned. I can't believe he would do such a thing. I mean, I would do something like that, but when I'm in a relationship, I am dedicated to that person. I don't go off whoring around with other guys just because I got tired of the person I was having relationship with. That pissed me off.
Hayner began to walk away, but I quickly pulled him back. "Hey we're not finished."
"Yes we are finished Roxas!" Hayner yelled in my face. "Yes we are! We were finished the moment I called him over to my house. We were over the minute you said you didn't love me back. I'm done with you."
"Yeah? Well I'm not done with you."
I slung my fist back and punch Hayner full on in the face, knocking him over. Hayner began to readjust his jaw. "Now I'm done with you. You piece of shit."
"The hell was that for?" Hayner yelled from the floor.
"For being such a prick. God damn it was hard to please you."
The audience we created in the lunch room grew bigger than before. People began cheering on for me to hit him again. Hayner got back up, and he grabbed my shoulders, forcing me onto the nearest wall.
Hayner began pushing me into the wall more than once. "It's your entire fault! You never paid attention to ANYTHING I had to say!"
"That's because you're annoying as FUCK!"
Hayner took my shoulders, threw me onto the floor, and began punching my face.
I was getting my ass kicked, by my own boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend now.
I bet it looked hot.
I shoved my knee up into his ass, which got an odd reaction considering how Hayner nearly screamed so hard his whole faced turned red. He quickly got up, and sat on his side, trying not to yell as he did just seconds ago. My face went blank, and it took me just a second to process what he meant by "The whole weekend."
He had sex with him.
He had sex with him.
He was fucking inserted by Seifer.
Thus, why I am about to throw Hayner off the patio.
"Roxas please, I love you." Hayner was now legit crying.
"I bet you said that when he was fucking you."
"Roxas! Don't do this!" Sora yelled as he walked onto the patio.
"Put him down you asshole!" Seifer yelled as he I heard him make his way over.
Hayner closed his eyes, and began pleading once more. "Roxas, if you ever loved me, you wouldn't do this."
I looked at Hayner, stunned at his choice of words. Was he trying to prove a point that I loved him? Or was he trying to mind fuck me to not throw him off the patio? I tried everything in me to not push him down, but I was controlled by something bigger than myself. Hayner was now leaning on the railing, me just holding him. My hand gripped his shirt tighter. I tried thinking some sense, but all this anger and build up from just minutes ago was taking over me. My hand then pushed Hayner violently into his chest, causing him to move, but never falling. Suddenly a huge impact hit me from the side, and I was pushed away from Hayner. Seifer had pushed me off him so hard my back hit the glass window, making a big crack. There were loud screams, and then I passed out.
So many things can happen in just a few weeks. Hell, so much shit goes down in just one hour: expulsion from school, hospital bills, a restraining order, a million hits on YouTube, and later on the cold shoulder from your father for over a week.
No once talked for days. We didn't even talk about what happened. Sora was so depressed that he wore the same outfit twice. Mom was worried so much, she began making cookies so much that the house started to smell like one big damn cupcake. And as for Dad, he said nothing to me. I knew he was disappointed me, he didn't need to say it because I already knew. That's the worst kind of punishment.
Sora and I would meet late at night to talk about the events that happened. He would say that I looked like an animal, and that he was scared to come near me for a couple of days. I told him that I wasn't feeling right when I found out about Hayner and Seifer. Sora kept me updated on Hayner, because even though I tried to kill him, I still cared about the kid. He told me that Hayner was one lucky motherfucker. When he fell off the patio, he landed in the big ass hedges that separated from the teacher's lounge patio to the courtyard. Of course he got some broken bones, but he's fine. That brought relief to me, but I still couldn't believe that he did such a thing to me, or why would he do such a thing.
"You were another person when you were about to drop Hayner Roxas, and it scared the shit out me…." Sora stated as he sipped his hot coco.
I stared blankly down at the magazine that I was reading - which was Alternative Press, not the fashion shit Sora reads - "I don't what it was. It was like something had come over me, and I couldn't help but just let it flow."
Sora gave me a look that was worried. "Well, all I ask is that you never use that feeling towards me. I'll watch what I say in front of you from now on."
"It's not your fault Sora."
"Yeah, it kinda is. I should have told you once we got home."
I almost chocked on my chocolate. "Even worse. I would have gone over to Hayner's and walked in on them doing it." I shuddered at the thought.
Sora chuckled, and nudged me, making me nudge him back. We then began a tickle fight, until the sound of my father's voice scarred the living shit out of both of us.
"Roxas! Please come down here!"
The tone my father used was a tone he would used with a very bad client, or a rude person in the grocery store. I didn't hesitate to hurry my ass up downstairs. I came to find my father sitting on his chair, one leg up another, and my mother sitting beside him on the couch.
"Sit down son."
I did, with great caution as well. My eyes fluttered both towards my dad, and my mother. Should I tell him? Would this be the right time to tell your dad, oh hey! Guess what? I almost threw a boy down 10 feet he was my boyfriend and he cheated on me! Oh, and I'm also gay. Big smiley face.
"Why don't you tell me why you started the fight?"
I looked at my dad with a poker face I could ever give. "He called me a name."
My dad arched an eyebrow. I knew he didn't believe me, but hey, it was worth a try.
"Tell me something else."
I began to wonder in my mind for anything more convincing. Maybe if I…
I sighed, and went with "He told me that my girlfriend cheated on me with him."
"And what was he to you? You're best friend?"
No, my boy toy. Oh, I probably shouldn't tell him that…
"Yeah. Yeah he was my best friend."
My father narrowed his eyes, and stared at me for the longest time. It was the most frighten thing I have ever seen in my life, and I was sure I was about to crap my pants right then and there. I didn't know what else to do, so I stared back at him. We stayed like this for a complete minute, and then my mother broke the silence by attempting to cheer up the mood.
"Okay boys! Who wants dinner?"
"I'm not hungry." My father stated.
"I'll be there in a minute –"
But my father interrupted me. "You're not leaving until we finish this."
"But Harold –"
"Go start the food honey."
And my only source of hope was gone. My father continued to give his stare of death, something I picked up from him. Now that it was being used against me, I have an idea of how terrified the kids I bully are.
"While you in the hospital, I got a call from your principal, explaining what witness saw."
I tensed. Here it comes.
"Most of them said it was a fight, and that the other boy was breaking up with you. Is that what kids call it now? When they are breaking off a friendship?"
I forgot how to breathe. What? No. It couldn't be that easy. He thinks that Hayner and I were breaking it off as friends? I just- wow. I couldn't believe it. The right thing to do is to tell him that we kids do not say that phrase to separate a friendship. I should tell him the truth.
"Yeah, dad. That's what we call it."
Meh, maybe later after this thing dies down.
He brought his hand to his mouth, thinking intently while looking at me again. It was about this way for a few more seconds, until he got up and walked over towards me, taking his hand out.
"Alright son. I believe you."
I stared at his hand as if it was a foreign object that I didn't know how to use. Just like that? He was about to let me go, and he would never know that the fight was over that my boyfriend slept with another man? This was it? Every inch in my stomach turned, and I knew that deep down, this was not right. It didn't feel right leaving him like this, knowing that it was about a girl. I wanted to let him know that it was about a guy that I was almost falling in love with, who broke my heart. I wanted him to hold me like he would when I was little, and tell me that there are more fish in the sea or some shitty metaphor like that. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, and that he was a jerk. I wanted him to tell me that he loved me, no matter what I am.
"I'm not being honest with you."
My father looked at me, confused. His hand was still out, and I had a feeling that it wouldn't be out for much longer.
"You need to sit down. I'm going to tell you something."
My father gazed down at me, put his hand down, and walked over to his chair once more, sitting down gracefully and calmly.
I began to shake so much. My voice felt like it was dry, my hands not keeping still. I took in a deep breath and began to control my breathing as much as I could. It's now or never Roxas, just get it over with it.
"The reason – why I got into a fight with Hayner was not because he slept with my girlfriend."
My dad tilted his head a bit. I knew he was confused, but he continued to look at me, and waited.
"Dad I don't have a girlfriend." I simply stated. "Hayner isn't my best friend. He's –"
I paused after this. I just needed to say it. Through the corner of my eye I saw my mother on the kitchen counter, eyes puffy, and face red. She knew I was about to tell him, and that I was not turning back on it.
"Hayner was my boyfriend, dad."
My father tensed, and didn't move. He was sitting still gracefully on the chair. His face was expressionless, and it looked like all the color on his skin turned white. I felt tears coming to my eyes, and I tried to hold everything I could back. But this was such an intense moment, and the air suddenly became thick with such tension. My dad moved only to wipe his face, and he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.
"Dad, did you hear me?" My words were broken and uneven. It became harder to breathe. Hell, I forgot how to breathe after I made my confession. "Dad?"
My dad got up, and walked away from the chair. He was just pacing the small living room. Suddenly he went up to me, his face with color again. He was inches away from my face, and I tensed once I saw the anger in his eyes.
"You're confused. Isn't that what you call your friends nowadays anyways?"
I stared at him, appalled. I slowly shook my head at him, trying to understand why he was acting confused when I confessed to him just a minute ago. "No, dad. I was dating him. Like any other girl would."
My dad suddenly smacked my arm so hard I flinched and jumped at least a good one foot in the air.
"So you call yourself a girl now, just because you think you like guys? Huh?" His voice grew louder and louder to each word he spoke.
"I don't think dad! I know!"
His hand slapped across my face, leaving me to realize the impact a few second later.
"Do you know now?"
My hand went up to space on my cheek in which I was slapped. I slowly looked up to my dad, confused as to why he was so mad.
"Dad…"
He walked over to where my mother was, and began whispering her something I could barely make out. Suddenly my father's tone grew louder, and began yelling at her.
"Did you know about this!" He yelled in her face. What stopped my heart was when my father reached over to my mom and grabbed her hair, pulling her down almost to the burning stove.
My instincts kicked in again, like how they did with Hayner. I raced over to my father, jumped on him and pulled him down. He yelled in frustration, and began hitting my face. I straddled him and tried to pin down his arms, but they were moving too much for me to do so. My mother called out to me stop, but there wasn't anything stopping me. He dares touch my mom over something that was not involving her? No way would I ever let that happen.
"Get off me you FAGGOT!"
And I instantly pulled away, getting off my dad, and backing away. Not once have I been called that, and I couldn't believe that the first time I heard it was from my own father.
"What –" I couldn't even process my words because tears were coming down my face, and I forgot how to breathe. "Why did you –"
"Harold honey… Please." My mother walked over to my dad that was still on the floor, his arm above his eyes, controlling his breathing. "He's your son."
My father quickly got up and looked at my mother in the face very closely.
"He's no son of mine."
He then went quickly to the phone and began dialing a number. I completely lost it and fell to the floor.
He's no son of mine.
I'm not his son. Because I'm different. Because I like guys. Because I have two identities. Because I don't know who the hell I am.
I'm not his son.
And I was staring to believe it.
"Harold who are you calling?"
"Mrs. Chu. She sent her son off to some boarding school because she found out about her son having –" My father turned his wicked gaze towards me, and looked me up and down as if I was some stranger standing in his house. "A condition."
A condition.
A fucking condition.
Like I was some sort of disease.
"Dad –" I began, but was cut off by him.
"Don't you dare speak in this house until we fix you."
Until I am fixed. So I was a disease.
I swallowed hard. Tears were even worse than before. I couldn't handle anything anymore, so I ran upstairs. I couldn't take the energy of the room anymore.
"And don't you DARE talk to your brother!"
I slammed the door. I sobbed harder than I have ever before. My knees weakened and I fell to the floor, sliding slowly. I curled into a ball and just cried. Cried because my own dad attacked my mom for being who I am. Cried because my father called me a faggot.
Cried because now I was starting to think that what I am is disease. Being gay is a disease, and I needed to be fixed.
"Roxas?"
I looked up, and from the corner of my bed I saw Sora's head, popping up from the corner. His blue eyes gazing down at me, and I felt sadness in them. I quickly sat up, and tried to give him the most convincing smile I ever gave.
"It's gonna be okay little bro."
Sora continued to look at me, his lip quivering. I knew he was about to cry, so I got up and hugged him tightly on the bed.
"Don't go away Roxas, you can't leave me! We promised that we would do this together! You can't leave me Roxas, you can't -"
"Shhh, Sora it's gonna be alright."
I hated lying to him.
The car ride to Oxford Academy for Boys was silent. All I knew about this place was that it was a reform school, and that it was a place for juvenile kids who couldn't cooperate in ordinary school. The only thing I was looking forward to was seeing Riku for the first time in ever. He went to the same school and probably has the place by his fingers by now. I wasn't worried. But I couldn't bear to leave my mom and Sora behind. I didn't want to. But my father left me no choice. It was either boarding school, or boarding school. They didn't even walk me into the school. I looked back at the car and saw my mom and Sora in tears. My father didn't even bother to look at me. I still didn't understand why not, but I guess that's something he needs to figure out on his own.
Before I walked into the school, I heard the car door open and turned to see who got out.
Sora was running towards me with open arms, and he was softly sobbing in my chest. I tried not to cry, but I couldn't help it. When I'm with Sora, I'm such a ham.
"I'll be back before you know it." I comforted him.
Sora sniffled. "I'll find ways to visit you."
I smiled and began blinking my eyes to cover up the tears. I pulled him arm's length distance away, and looked him in the eye.
"You tell dad when you're ready. You let him know that it is not a disease. It's just the way we were. What we chose to be."
Sora nodded, and wrapped his arms around me once again. I began caressing the back on his head, and smiled. I'll try not missing his fashion sense while I'm gone.
I gave my mother one last hug good-bye. I looked at my father and for the first time I never expected a response back.
"If anything happens to Sora, I swear I'll be back."
My dad gripped the steering wheel. "They only time you'll be back is when you're cured."
I smiled, and shook my head. "Someday I'll figure out what's wrong with you."
I took my things and headed towards the front office. The building looked pretty decent, and very proper. It almost could pass for a castle, almost like Hogwarts, but a bit dumber down. I carried my things around from administrator to another. They all told me the same thing, "Welcome aboard Mr. Rogers!"
Urgh. I also hated my last name. I was always made fun of because I had the name of an old man who wants to be your neighbor. That's not a good way to start a childhood. So hearing that name brought back many horrible elementary memories.
Finally, I was handed my key, and I was walked up to my room where I would be staying for probably the next few weeks. Or months. Hell, until I get 'cured', as my dad says. It pissed me off to think that he said it.
I reached my room, and was told for the hundredth time that I was welcomed aboard. It annoyed me so damn much. Where the hell is the boat that I boarded? It made no fucking sense. And I thought that this was an academy…
I entered the room with my luggage barely falling off my shoulders. There was only one bed, a desk, and then a view of the campus below. I was about a good 50 feet high for the ground below, which scared me so much. I didn't even want to think about the height, so I pressed forward. I had a decent closet, and mirror to look at. This might not be bad.
I said that before I even got to the bed.
Plastered right in the middle was this huge stain on the mattress. It almost looked like an orange type of color, like vomit. I shuddered once I came near it.
The sound of footsteps startled me, and I heard a very peppy voice greet me.
"Hiya! Welcome to Oxford!"
I turned around super-fast, dropping my luggage. It was a teenage boy with blond ass hair, lighter than mine, and some kind of Mohawk with a flare down the back. He was wearing a concert t-shirt, skinny ass jeans, and the biggest light green eyes. "Who are-"
I couldn't even finish my sentence. The peppy Mohawk blonde came into my room and began to shake my hand. "Oh boy, oh boy! We have a newbie! Hi, my name is Demyx, and it's really nice to meet you! Gosh your hair looks just looks like mine. Maybe we can compare colors sometime! I have some hair dye if you want to dye it the same as me! Oh boy, a newbie!"
And it continued on, and on. It wasn't until a slate haired boy came into my room, a foot shorted than Demyx. He was wearing all black, and only one pearl eye was exposed. He carried a book in his hands, and pushed Demyx back.
"Sorry about that. I'm still training him to be house trained." His voice was a British accent which was low, and stern. I snickered at his comment, then looked at Demyx to find him giving the boy a supposed angry face.
"Zexy, that's not very nice! I'm not a dog ya know."
The boy looked up at Demyx, how was pouting at him with both hands on his hips.
"I beg to differ. I'm Zexion."
I nodded at both of them. "I'm Roxas."
The looked at me strangely. Demyx looked like he a lost puppy, and then looked at Zexion who looked at Demyx the same the same time he did.
"You wouldn't happen to know Riku, would you?"
I looked up, wide-eyed. I didn't want to embarrass Riku's swag here in this new school. I would hate it if someone did that to me, so I would defiantly not do that to Riku.
"Nope, I never heard of the guy. Sounds like a fearsome guy."
Zexion and Demyx looked at each other with the biggest smirk on their faces. Demyx reached over to grab my arm and told me, "Come newbie, a friend wants to see you."
I was dragged down the hall by his crazy blonde, and with his short midget friend behind me, probably making sure if I didn't run away. I didn't know if I was ready to see Riku. I didn't know what he would look like. The last time I saw him was when I caught him smoking really good weed.
"What's up with that faggot brother of yours?"
"Hey, that's my brother you're talking about."
"Well he follows me around too much… Tell him to stop."
"Not my fault. I can't tell my brother who he shouldn't and should not follow."
"What – does he have a crush on me? Pathetic."
"Hey, you'd be lucky to have Sora. He would give you some real sense of fashion. Maybe make you take baths once and awhile."
"Shut-up."
"What's that smell?" a person from outside the bathroom called. "Who's in here?"
"Roxas, hide."
"Riku, what about –?"
"Crawl through the window. Go now!"
"What if –"
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
And then he was caught while I was hiding next to the window. I heard him give the football sass, and how the coach yelled in his face for having such a mouth. When it came time for him to admit who else was here, because there was too much weed for him to smoke alone, he simply responded:
"I just wanted to go to my special place."
I smiled at the thought. I knew from then and there that I had to keep Riku's title at the school. I had to keep that bad boy image in honor of him being such a badass, and of being a real friend. I never thanked him, he deserved to be thanked. Not once had someone done something like for me. I felt the need to owe him.
Demyx opened the door, and inside revealed a head or long silver hair. His body was skinny, but fit around the torso. He was wearing a blue tight shirt, and some baggy skinny jeans. He looked well; maybe because I saw from only the back.
"Ri?" Demyx began. "Someone's here to see you."
Riku stiffened, and slowly turned his whole body to face me. I gasped a bit once I saw him. His big turquoise eyes gazed at me, and looked shocked. He looked just about the same, but one thing was a real attention grabber. One the left side on his face, a huge scar ran down from his cheek bone all the way to his chin. It scared me a bit how he got that, but nevertheless it was great to see him.
He smiled, which was something I never saw him do. He was always serious, never happy. So to see him like this confused me a bit, but it was great to see him.
"Guys, can you give us a minute?"
'But we still go to introduce him to A –" Demyx began, but was nudged in the ribs by Zexion.
"He'll find out about him soon enough. See you later peeps."
Riku smiled at me once more, and put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry they were the first people you met."
I shrugged, speaking in the voice he remembered me by. "Whatever."
Riku tilted his head, and narrowed his eyes just a bit. "You don't have to do that here. Be who you wish you could be."
I looked at him confused, but I knew exactly what he was talking about. It was just different because it was a new environment, and I wanted to be known as a person not to trifle with. I'm the guy everyone needs to avoid, not the guy someone can come to with problems. Ew, I hate solving peoples problems…
"Sit down; we have a lot to talk about."
He gestured for me to sit on the bed, but I made my way over to his desk chair. I was still trying to get used to colorful Riku. It was new, but I'll know he'll explain things. Just for the time being, it was weird seeing him in another color besides black.
"I guess I should start off with the scar, huh?"
I nodded very slowly, trying not to keep my eyes on it, but it was just the one thing on his face.
"Well, when my mom found out about the incident with the weed she freaked out. Of course she blamed it on my friends, my school work, and my appearance, but I told her something else. I told her it was medicine, to cure something I had." He tensed a bit and sighed. "I told her that I was experiencing some new things. And the next thing I'm about to tell you, you must promise not to freak out."
I nodded, crossing my arms.
"A few weeks ago before I was caught, I cornered Sora in the boy's locker room. I started flirting with him, and just messing around with him. To my shock, he played along. He wasn't scared at all. I was high as fuck, so I don't remember what happened next, but all I knew was that whatever I did, made Sora follow me wherever I went. That's why I asked you when we were blazing it, what was wrong with Sora, maybe thinking if he told you anything. I had no idea what I did, but I figured it was something that made me him develop some type of crush on me."
My eyes were wide. I could not believe what I was hearing. Not once had I let any girl go after Sora because they would get their heart broken. But Riku, being gay? No, I didn't want to believe it. It was impossible! No. No he's dicking around with me. I started waiting for the "just kidding Roxas" but I never heard it.
Instead, he continued on.
"So I told my mom that I was smoking weed because I needed to be cured from thinking that I'm gay. Next thing you know she poured out the rice in the pot she was making for dinner, and hit me across the face. I woke up in the car, road going fast, bags in the back, and my mother crying while she drove me here."
I didn't breathe. I couldn't. From what I went through, this was the darker side. So Riku ended up coming here for the same reason I did; to be cured of being gay.
"Riku –"
"Roxas I'm sorry about Sora. I knew I should have told you, but I wanted to be sure. I know how defensive you get when it comes to your brother, but damn it Roxas those eyes! Kind of like… Like the ones you have…"
I looked up at him fast. Riku stood up slowly, and walked over to me. I didn't know how to react, so I didn't. He took a step closer and closer and me. I remembered how to breathe, and I did the first thing my body was able to do.
I slid off the chair and fell to the floor, a foot away from Riku.
His green ocean like eyes began to blink and flutter around the room. Once he saw me on the floor, he laughed, scratching his head awkwardly.
"Sorry, you just made me think of Sora…"
I stiffened again. "There is no way in hell I am letting you near my brother. If we look so damn a like, what'll happen if I dye my hair brunette? We'll you mistake me for Sora? Riku, you stay away from my brother."
"Roxas I'm sorry –"
"And you stay the hell away from me."
Riku crossed his arms, and sighed. "Roxas I'm sorry. I've just been thinking about your brother a lot."
"Well stop! You crazy lunatic! Riku the last time I saw you were smoking so much kush that your pupils couldn't grow any bigger. Damn, and then afterwards you fucking took E! You think Sora wants to be with some drugged up druggie like you?"
"Yeah, he said so himself."
I paused. Damn, I never knew my brother was so desperate. "Well I won't let him. I won't let you get anywhere near him."
Riku raised an eyebrow, and licked his upper corner lip. "Well for your information I've been clean since I got here, and I just miss your damn brother so much. You want me to get over him? Tell him to stop being so damn sexy in those outfits he wears every day and puts up on Facebook."
"Oh my God, that's just nasty Ri, don't every call my brother that ever again."
Riku laughed, and sat on his bed. "Yeah well, get used to it."
I smiled at him. "Okay, maybe if you're good and you don't pull any shit like that every again, I'll consider you dating my brother."
Riku laughed loudly, probably with full of joy. "Thanks big brother. Glad I get your approval."
After that, Riku and I talked for a long ass time. He told me about school, and how it was amazing here. He tried the bad boy act, but everyone hated him afterwards. So he dropped it and became popular just being himself. I didn't like the idea, but hey, it he could do it, maybe so could I. I told him about my situation, and how I got here. I thanked him for being the example of having me sent here, and he gladly welcomed me back. I told him about Hayner, which lead to silence in the room for a good five minutes. He continued on saying he never liked that bitch Seifer, and how he always was on Riku's ass about everything. He knew as well as I did that he wanted power. When I admitted that I was a gay to him, he laughed, and told me he was sorry for contaminated me. I told him it wasn't his fault, it was Hayner's. It was around six o'clock that Riku told me to go unpack, and get ready for the weekend ahead of me. He promised me he would walk me to all my classes, and that I wouldn't be a lost freshman on my first day. I left his room after that, with promises to meet in the courtyard so we could catch up on other things.
I walked back to my dorm, and notice a note in crayon on my door. I looked around to see if anyone would have put in on just recently. No one was there, and I heard nothing. I took the big note, and read the huge letters.
LUNCH ROOM – 6 P.M. DON'T BE LATE
I looked around once more and saw no one. So who the hell would have left this here? I checked my phone, and it was five till 6. I sighed, and walked down the hall.
I knew where the lunch room was because I had to walk through it to get to my dorm. Since it was pretty late, the lunch room looked pretty dark. My heart raced a bit when I walked into the middle. My eyes wondered around the barely lit cafeteria. I swear something was going to pop up and chainsaw my guts out. All of a sudden I noticed a sign that had a huge red arrow that lead to what looked like a storage closet. The door was opened just a crack, and a dim light shined through. I didn't think what the worse could happen, like a zombie popping out, or a serial killer with an axe coming out. I just simply walked right inside.
There, in a circle, were four guys. Two of them I already knew, Zexion and Demyx. Zexion had his arms crossed, and was pouting as if he was forced out of bed. Demyx's legs were crossed, and he seemed occupied with his air guitar. Another was a man with bright pink hair that stuck up in many places. He had a wicked grin on his face, and he seemed to be something down on a huge clipboard. But one curious person caught my eye. A very tall guy sat in front of me, a big bush of red hair blocking me from entering the circle. Just by the structure of his shoulders, he was super skinny, in an unhealthy way. But something about his skinniness made him look attractive. I don't even know what I'm saying, it's the back of him. He's probably butt ugly from the front.
"Roxas," the pink haired man spoke. He looked down at his clipboard, his glasses almost falling off his nose. "Age 17. Last attended Hollow Bastion High School." The man looked at me, his eyes wicked with whatever he was happy with. He slowly took his glasses off, and crossed his legs. "Why don't you take a seat, and get to know your fellow group members?"
"Group members?" I repeated. "What for, I didn't sign up for any group."
His smile never faded away. "Well you came here didn't you? No turning back now. That would be rude."
I rolled my eyes, and took the open seat next to Demyx. I settled myself, popping a foot up and leaving the other hanging off the chair. Demyx nudged me a smile, and Zexion just lifted his head up, greeting me. My eyes traveled to the red head from the other end of the circle. His head was tilted back, and he had a smile plastered on his face. His big green eyes stared right at me, making a shiver go up my spine. I didn't want him thinking I was a coward, so I stared right back at him. It was one of those stares that I gave to a freshman when he walked in front of me in the hall ways. Instead of fear, I got a huge grin, and a small chuckle.
"Alright Neanderthals, listen up. We have a new student here at Oxford, and I want you to give him a big welcome."
"We already did coach!" Demyx replied, almost bouncing out of his seat. I saw Demyx's hand on Zexion's, making him blush just a bit. I tilted my head. No… They couldn't possibly be…
"Very well then. Well Roxas my name is Marluxia. I am the swim team coach here at Oxford." Marluxia smiled at me and lifted his clipboard to his chest. "This group here is a discussion group. We talk about our day, what's bothering us, all that good stuff. So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?"
I looked at Marluxia after my intense stare down with Mr. Red over here. "Well I refuse to." Everyone looked at me, surprised. "I don't feel comfortable sharing my personal information with a bunch of strangers. I mean, I don't know what you do in your free time Marluxia. For all I know you can be a pedophile."
Everyone chuckled after that. I smiled at the coach, hoping that he knows where I stand.
"I see. Well that's fine Roxas, I understand." Marluxia put back on his glasses, and wrote something down on his clipboard. I smiled, and crossed my arms. I sighed in content, knowing that this was going to be the end of this discussion group.
"So who wants to share first?"
I looked up, wide eyed. They took that seriously?
"I'll go!" Demyx raised his hand. "Okay, well I was at home with my ma, and we were both getting high together. My dad comes in and he starts flipping out, calling me names and my mom names, and it just went to hell from there. But then that's how I got here! With all of you guys!"
Marluxia gave Demyx a glare, like he was waiting for Demyx to continue on.
"Oh!" He jumped once again. "And I've been clean ever since I got here, which was a year ago."
Marluxia smiled, and wrote something in his clipboard. "Next?"
"Well," Zexion started. "I was in a group home because my mum and my dad were away here in America. I had a party with some of my friends. We were doing any kind of shit we could find. It just got wild and out of control. Next thing I know kids were drunk, high, jumping off the railing, smashing glass on other kids." Zexion stiffened. "I later found out that there was a serial killer roaming around the city, and he somehow killed some people at my party. Mum and dad were furious, and it didn't help that I was on the news as a criminal for letting in that killer in the house." Zexion took a breath, and closed his fingers together. "They sent me here because they said, and I quote, 'Couldn't stand to look at this criminal.' So I've been here for the past 3 years."
I was shocked to hear Zexion's story. I would never think that my mom would say that to me. I don't know about my dad, but I would think he wouldn't say that. Come to think of it, I don't my dad thinks me the same, or even loves me the same.
Marluxia finished writing something in his clipboard, and looked at Mr. Red, whose arms were crossed, and legs were stretched out. "Care to share?"
Mr. Red sat up, and smiled at everyone. "The name's Axel, got it memorized? No one here has heard my story, so I don't feel comfortable sharing to some squirt like you."
I popped an eyebrow. "Well then I guess we're going to be strangers."
"Nah," Axel continued. "I just don't see what makes you so special that I need to share my story with you. I rather hear what you were in for. Stealing from your daddy perhaps? Oh no, probably took some candy at the store huh? No wait –You told off a teacher at your school. Well hate to break it to you blondie, but this is a place where you really need work. I suggest you go to some prep posh school down the street because –"
"I pushed my boyfriend off a 10 feet patio at my school."
Silence struck hard around the group. I crossed my arms, and sat back in my chair. Who the hell does he think he is, judging me that I'm some posh kid? What an asshole.
Marluxia adjusted himself in his seat, and cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses. "Well Roxas, that was short and to the point. However, that shouldn't be something you should be proud of. It's a horrible thing to do. Who did you say you pushed off again?"
Everyone leaned in. Oh shit. If I said I was gay, then how will everyone think of me? If I say I'm gay, then no one will take me seriously.
"My friend." I said. "I pushed my best friend off the patio."
Axel sat up and pointed a finger at me. "No, no I heard 'boyfriend'."
"Yeah, me too." Demyx said. Zexion nudged him, making Demyx jump in his chair.
"No I said best friend." I said quickly.
"Roxas, whatever your preference is, you will not be judged here. You must know that."
I felt the room closing in on me, and all eyes were on me. My heart began to race, and I almost lost control of my breathing.
"I'm not gay."
"Damn! I was pretty sure you were." Axel spoke right after.
I felt my senses come back, and I stared at Axel. "You wish I was gay."
"No, not really. Cause I mean if I piss you off I don't want to be pushed off a 10 feet patio."
"I said he was my friend!" I yelled at Axel.
"Keep telling yourself that sweetie."
"Alright guys." Marluxia stood up. "I think we had enough for tonight. We will meet again next week. Good night."
Demyx and Zexion got up, and walked out of the storage room. I eyed them until they walked out, expecting them to hold hands or something. It was bothering me that I didn't know if they were together or not. Either way I had to find out.
"Roxas," I looked up. Marluxia was standing next to me. He was surprisingly tall. A flower stood out of his collared shirt pocket. "You do know what you did was wrong, do you?"
I nodded to him right after he asked. He nodded back, and walked away. I was left in the room with Axel, who was still seated with one leg up on another, his arms extended to the two chairs next to him, smiling from ear to ear.
"I like you. You're like a hot feisty piece of shrimp"
I scoffed, and stood up to walk away from this place.
"Just hear me out kid." Axel called again. There was something in his voice that made me want to say. I fought the urge to stay, and started to walk away.
All of a sudden a force pulled me back and I was face to face with Axel, his big emerald eyes looking down at me.
"You're a piece of work." And he smiled.
"So what am I then? A piece of shrimp, or a piece of work?"
He laughed, which gave me goose bumps. "Oh you're going to be fun. See you around kid."
And with a wink, he was gone. I was left there, thinking what this guy was really about. It made me curious as to who he was, how he got here. I never acted like a stalker before, but for some reason with him, it just made me want to find out everything about him. I guess he must have done something really bad not to talk about it in front of others, or me. I knew that this was a reform school, but I didn't think the situations were so bad. I mean Demyx and Zexion look like sane kids. I haven't everyone else, but I would think that they are just the same. So my main objective as of now; Find out why Axel was sent here. Not because he is a gorgeous piece of man… Okay yeah, mainly because he is a gorgeous piece of man. But I wasn't sent here to meet a new guy. I was supposed to be thinking who I really am.
And that's straight.
Well, I'm supposed to be straight. But one look at Axel makes me think otherwise.