Title: In the Ring of Fire
Author: Vasiliki (May 7, 2011)
Beta-reader: un-betaed (please, if anyone wants to take the time to beta it, you're most welcome! )
Rating: PG
Genre and/or pairing: Gen or pre-slash, depending on your goggles.
Warnings: ANGST, but with an ending that offers a delicious future ("delicious" for canon possibilities and fanfic possibilities, although Castiel wouldn't consider it to be so. Neither Sam and Dean, now that I'm thinking about it).
Author's Notes: The third and final fic I wrote after 6x19 (the others being "The Angel who Dared to Tread" and "The Sacrifice"). Spoilers up to the promo for 6x20.
Summary: Sam, Dean, and Bobby have Castiel trapped in a ring of holy fire to force him reveal the truth.
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"Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with Crowley!" Dean's voice broke and his gaze bled pain.
Castiel averted his eyes.
"DAMNIT, CAS! How could you? You pretended to kill him, just so you could save him from us!"
"Dean, no!" Castiel's stare was intense, zeroing in on Dean. "I burned his bones to SAVE you and Sam! Crowley was about to kill you, and I had to stop him!"
"Why didn't you do it properly, then, for fuck's sake?" Dean shouted at the top of his lungs. "Why did you keep a piece of his bones hidden?"
Castiel closed his eyes and took a deep breath, as if he was gathering his strength to admit the truth aloud. Then he looked at the ground near Dean's feet, and spoke slowly, softly.
"I had promised him the Winchesters wouldn't hurt him. I couldn't disregard his disobedience to my direct order that you were not to be touched, but I couldn't let you kill him either. By burning his bones, I taught him a lesson: there was no place he could hide them well enough to be safe from me, so he could never double-cross me or disobey my orders again."
Castiel raised his face and turned imploring eyes to Dean. "He learned his lesson, Dean: he didn't threaten you again!"
Dean shook his head in denial and disgust, as if he couldn't accept the logic in this.
"Dean", Cas said and made a move as if to walk forward, but the wall of flames kept him back. "Is this necessary? I'm still on your side. I'm still trying to save humanity. Saving it WITHOUT any harm done to you and Sam."
"Do you really think you're doing no harm at all to us?" Dean was exuding indignance and rage. "We don't work for demons and monsters! We're hunting them down, that's the family business!"
"Better for your feelings to be hurt, Dean, that for the Apocalypse to be averted by the death of you or your brother!" it was Cas' turn to shout.
He turned to look at Sam, again pleading with his gaze.
"Sam! Do you remember, last year, when Anna tried to kill you and you asked me if your death would indeed prevent the Apocalypse? I had told you "no" then, because I honestly hoped we could find another way, but the true answer was, and remains, "yes". The death of either of you in such a way that your molecular particles couldn't be gathered to bring you back again would indeed prevent the Apocalypse - and all I'm trying to do is prevent it while keeping YOU TWO safe!"
Sam's face was sad. He sighed, and his open hand gestured towards the trapped angel in goodwill.
"Cas, believe me, I understand your reasons. I understand better than anyone else here does! But, Cas, Castiel," and he looked at him intently, "what does it matter if you save the world and lose your soul in the procedure?"
Castiel started as if slapped. His eyes turned cold.
"Angels don't have souls, Sam."
"Lose your grace, then! Taint it so much that you aren't you, anymore!"
Castiel's mouth thinned. He refused to give in, yet Sam refused to back down:
"How do you think would I, would Dean, feel, knowing we caused the downfall of a good angel? Of a good friend?"
"That's why I didn't tell you," Castiel finally admitted, albeit reluctantly. "At the beginning, I was ashamed." He hesitated, and then decided to take the plunge. "But when I learned about your soul, I was afraid of what you might want to do."
"My soul?" Sam's eyes widened, while twin gasps were heard from Dean and Bobby. "Cas, it's our choice, not yours! If one of us has to die for humanity to be saved…"
"Sam…!" Dean interrupted him, but Sam kept on talking, unknowingly echoing Dean's words to Castiel over two years previously:
"If there was ever a good reason to die for, it's this! What role does my soul play here?"
Castiel purched his lips and averted his gaze again. This was all he seemed to be doing during this conversation. Along with staring intently at Dean and imploring both brothers to understand why his plan was the best solution for all of them. Well, perhaps not all of them, but he had already decided he'd be the one to sacrifice himself this time - Sam had done so last time, and now that he was back and whole, Dean was in peace again. He couldn't stand by and look at Dean being broken by Sam's death all over again.
"Cas!" Sam said again, at the same moment Dean repeated: "Sam!"
Sam looked over at Dean. His heart constricted at the pain he knew he'd have to cause Dean once again. His brother would be devastated, but this time Dean knew he could live through the loss. Heck, Lisa and Ben were still out there - Lisa was trying to get over the most intense love of her life unsuccessfully, and Ben was waiting for Dean to return and go back to doing their father-son things together. And this time, their little family arrangement would be permanent. This time, Sam wouldn't be coming back to tear him away from them.
The wheels in his brain always turned fast. "Cas, is it a spell?" he asked.
Castiel's reaction and hunched shoulders gave him the answer he needed.
"What does it do? How does it work?" Sam insisted, while Dean came over to him and laid a hand on his arm.
"Sam, no!" Dean's gaze bled again, but this time it was turned on him. "No!"
"Dean, you know I must do this," Sam tried reasoning with his brother, even though he knew nothing he could say would make any difference to Dean. "I hurt too many people in the year I was walking around with no soul. This is my chance to make amends."
He crushed Dean in a fierce hug. He poured all his emotion and brotherly love in this hug, eyes scrunched shut. He knew it was "goodbye", and when the time to end it came, for a moment he felt as if he couldn't let go. Yet, he rained in his emotions, steeled his heart, and put distance between them. He kept Dean at arm's length, and told him:
"Don't try to stop me. You know you'd do the same, Dean! You know you'd do the same!"
Then he turned to Castiel.
"What does the spell do, and why does it need my soul to work?" he asked again, and this time the angel gave him the answers he had kept hidden from them for months.
Castiel knew, even as he explained the details of how they could use the Dark spell to find Purgatory, that Dean wouldn't stand by idly and watch Sam offering his soul for it. Dean wouldn't be able to watch his brother sacrifice the most important piece of himself, the part that made Sam who he truly was, and him, Dean, have to live with soul-less Sam for the rest of his life. Dean would somehow manage in the very last moment to exchange his own soul for Sam's - Castiel was deeply certain of it. But the angel was determined to not let this to pass. Dean's soul was too precious to him, for he had fought the Hordes of Hell for it, and besides, Sam wouldn't be any happier with soul-less Dean.
The angel would be alert, keeping a close eye on both brothers, because he was resolved that this time neither of them would sacrifice a thing. It would be Castiel himself who would sacrifice his soul - a soul he didn't possess yet, but he would, right after he ripped off his grace and became human. He just hoped that his soul-less self wouldn't be too difficult for Dean and Sam to handle - he had a feeling he would become a capable, efficient hunter on his own merit. Castiel smiled wryly, as he thought cynically that Balthazar would be glad Cas would finally get that "stick out of his ass", as he used to say. And if Dean and Sam weren't happy Cas first ripped off his grace and then offered up his soul for them, the angel believed firmly it was better than the alternatives, and he hoped they'd understand that one day, and forgive him.