Disclaimer: I do not own anything and yahda yahda yahda. ;D

Authors Notes: Although this is my first RLSB oneshot/story, it isn't my slash or fanfiction. Still, I've been researching and reading to try to get everything right for this, so if anything is wrong or doesn't make sense, please please PLEASE tell me.

The sky was beautiful, even with rain clouds threatening to break at any second and the few stars that peeked out of the gaps shined bright and clear; the moon, which I despised, look absolutely gorgeous.

I sat on the ground outside my parent's house even though they weren't home; I needed fresh air right now.

It has only been a few weeks since I had left Hogwarts for good. I tried to think about what I was going to do with the rest of my life, if I even planned on doing anything at all. My whole life seemed to be so easy and always planned: Go to Hogwarts, come home for summer, and go back; this was all I knew for the past eight years. Now, I had no structure, no plans. Everyone else knew what they wanted to do, but I was so limited with my condition. I even considered working with Muggles, giving up my whole education in magic and trying to work with the minor education I had on the 'other kind', but I knew that I wouldn't be able to do it.

I thought maybe I could move in with James and Sirius, but that seemed like such an impossible plan now. I didn't know if I would stay in touch with my friends. Sirius had written every so often, but I knew that he was now too busy hanging around with James to bother with me. Like usual, I felt like I didn't belong. My heart sank at the thought.

I always thought of Sirius as mine, no matter how selfish it sounded. He had been the first person I kissed, even though we were both under the influence of drugs and alcohol. He was the first person I loved, even though he didn't know it. He was the only person I could ever see myself being with in a real relationship. He was the subject of my daydreams and of my fantasies. He was my perfect other half; He was enough of a 'bad boy' for the both of us and I thought myself be smart enough.

My heart felt like it would explode from the emotions attacking it. I knew that Sirius would never love me the way I loved him because I knew that everything that ever happened between us was a mistake. I wished I had never kissed him. I regretted everything I ever had experienced with him. I wished, deep down, that I had never even met him but little did my 11 year old self know that the kid that said that my name was funny but that he thought we should be friends would also be the boy that shattered my heart without even knowing it.

I gripped at the grass and began pulling clumps out of the ground. I was mad and upset and confused all at the same time. I fell onto my back and tried to think about anything else, trying to push the memories of Sirius from my mind. I thought that I should remove him from my life completely: No more writing, no more reminiscing in my mind, and certainly no more wishing I would wake up and he would be there next to me again.

But no matter how hard I tried, everything always led back to him. He had influenced such a big part of my life and blocking him out would be like I never went to Hogwarts and had never been a teenage boy.

I groaned and ran my hands down my face, and through my hair, now squinting at the bright light that was obscuring my peripheral vision. I turned my head, and saw a single, round light coming right for me. I jumped up, and backed away, interested and scared.

There was a sound, almost like a lion roaring, that broke through the silence, and suddenly a large, gleaming motorcycle had came to a screeching halt in my backyard, digging up weeds and dirt as it slowed down to a stop. I feared that the neighbors would see and hear the machine crashing down, but something told me that the driver had thought of that.

The light was shining right at me and I tried to block it out with my hand, my eyes still squinted and watering. I watched as someone moved from behind it, and then when the motor finally stopped and the light died away, I heard a familiar, "Hey Moony."

I stood there, amazed and angry at the person existing before me. I watched as he removed his goggles from around his eyes and walked towards me, with that stupid grin he wore so proudly.

"Hey Moony?" I repeated, making sure he heard, "You don't even bother to write for a two and a half weeks and then you think you can just come digging up my yard out of nowhere, and the only thing you can say is hello?"

"Whoa," Sirius said, laughter still in his voice while the smile diluted on his face; he obviously didn't expect me to be this upset from what he thought was just 'not writing', "I'm stopping by to see how you are. I felt bad that I hadn't written, but me and James-"

"Yeah yeah; you and James," I snorted, now furious, "Of course you couldn't write because you were too busy running around with James; never once thinking to invite me or anything! Don't want the werewolf kid to get in the way of any of your plans!"

Sirius looked worried, "Remus…" he started.

"No. Don't even try to apologize. It's already been done. You'd think after everything we'd done at school, you wouldn't mind inviting the werewolf along, but I guess not! I've done absolutely nothing all summer, and here you are, showing up on a fucking motorcycle! I don't even want to know how you and James got a hold of that. Probably some great, exciting adventure that you wanted to tell me all about?"

"It isn't like that! Please, let me explain!" He cried. I could see desperation and remorse washing over him, but I didn't care. He had broken me to many times, and a quick hello and 'I'm sorry' wouldn't cut it. I knew that he thought I was only upset about him blowing me off, and that deep down it was so much more, but I wasn't interested in what was fair, only what made me feel better.

"Explain what?" I roared, almost as loud as the engine from his motorcycle.

"I…just…" He stopped and looked up when we both started to feel raindrops falling on us. Neither of us said anything as the rain started to fall harder, then after a minute Sirius opened his mouth again.

"You know what? Fine! I didn't invite you, because I didn't want you there!" he shouted, trying to be heard over the now pouring rain. My heart broke more than I thought it ever could. He didn't want me there? Why would he even tell me that?

"Well then, I guess you got what you wanted." I yelled back, and started towards my backdoor.

"The only reason I didn't want you there… is because I was afraid of what might happen between us!"

I stopped, and turned around to face him, my mouth hanging open and my brow furrowed in shock.

"What?' I hissed, surprised that he could hear me still. My heart pounded so hard I thought it just might burst through my chest, and my body suddenly became warm and excited, despite the coldness the rain was giving off.

"I came here to apologize for everything, because I really am sorry. I tried to avoid you instead of just telling you how I felt!"

When I didn't say anything, he turned back to his bike, pulling the goggles back over his eyes as he walked. I knew that he felt himself breaking down, and was trying to avoid humiliation, and I was shocked when he spun around once again to face me.

"I HAVE A THING FOR YOU, OKAY? THAT'S WHY I'VE BEEN AVOIDING YOU, BECAUSE I LIKE YOU!" he screamed now, holding onto one of his handlebars to support himself. I could see the neighbors beginning to peer out their windows to see what all the shouting was about. Although it seemed impossible, rain began to fall even harder.

I couldn't feel anything inside of me, but somehow I was able to run, flinging my arm around his neck when I reached him. He nearly fell backwards from shock, stumbling and then embracing me as hard as I was embracing him. I breathed in the tough smell of leather and sweat that he was giving off, the perfect scent for him.

"Sirius, I'm so sorry!" I said, just loud enough for him to hear me, "I misunderstood everything!"

I looked deep into his eyes, putting both hands on either side of his face, and pressed my lips to his with a force that felt like it would rip through us. Everything was eager, since this was what we both wanted for so long. I breathed heavily when we broke apart, "I'm sorry too." He said again and I nodded.

Throwing all my previous thoughts of doubt and hate behind, I took his hand in mine, and led him inside, both of us drenched from the rain. He had preformed a quick drying spell to us both while I cleaned the mud off the floor with my wand, then gave Sirius a look to follow me. We both rushed around the corner and up the stairs, coming to a halt as we reached my bedroom, and I burst through the door.

I felt so invigorated. My whole state if mind had changed with the possibility of being, really being, with Sirius. I felt the wolf inside me take over, and my instincts wanted nothing more than to attack him with a power backed by love and lust. I thanked every single star in the stormy sky that my parents had left, as I unbuttoned my shirt, letting it fall off of me. He removed his jacket and goggles then came towards me.

Grabbing me by the hips, he threw me down on the bed, pinning my hands above my head before another kiss. I took it all in, letting his tongue explore my mouth, leaving the taste of tobacco lingering when he broke away. When I slid my hands up his shirt, my breathing became faster, and I felt his hard muscles tense from my touch. He broke away, ripping his shirt off as quickly as he could. After another long kiss, he stood up, unbuttoned his pants and quickly got undressed. I followed, pulling off my khakis and socks, both of us flinging our clothes somewhere on my floor.

I moved to allow us both to lie on the bed. Sirius hovered over me, a pure look of longing shone through his eyes. Neither of us smiled, both of us examining every detail of the others face. It took everything I had not to pull him down on me and completely attack.

"You're so hot." He whispered, still staring into my eyes, and kissed me again. I tried to keep my breathing even as he began to travel past my jaw and down my neck. His bare chest brushing against me, letting off a feeling of closeness that made my stomach hurt.

You're not dreaming. You can feel everything. You can feel his kisses, and his body heat against you. You can feel his erection brushing against your thigh. I shuttered, refusing to close my eyes in fear that when I opened them, this would all be over.

Sirius was now at my collarbone, and I let out a gasp as he sucked on the skin. I could feel him smiling as he continued. Moving down to my nipples and letting his tongue flick over them, making me tense up.

I could feel every pulse I had gravitating towards that one spot on my body that I wanted him to touch so badly. I squirmed under him, but he held me down at my hips and gave me one last painfully beautiful look of pleasure before taking me in his mouth. Every sensation I could imagine rushed through me as I felt him moving and groping me with his tongue. He was highly skilled and I tried my hardest to let it all in before it was too late.

I tangled my hands in his long, dark hair, loving how it felt between my fingers. I could feel his head moving under my hands and I couldn't breathe. My lungs screamed at me for oxygen, but I feared that the feeling of relief that came along with the element might drown out the feelings coming from everywhere else, and I was willing to risk brain damage to get every ounce of satisfaction I could out of Sirius' actions.

"Sirius," I groaned, and he hurried his pace, and with a last flick of his tongue I was coming down his throat. My whole body tensed and was engulfed in the best orgasm I'd ever had, and I was groaning louder then ever. My lungs finally filled with air, and the lingering feeling of ecstasy was now paired with relief. Before I could mutter anything, I felt his lips pressed hard against mine in another hungry kiss. I knew that it was now his turn and I started to shake at the thought. I had no clue what I was doing. He rolled his hips against mine with a smile before lying down on his back, allowing us to switch positions. I gave him a nervous look and started to copy his earlier movements. I kissed my way down the to his navel before he pulled me up and shook his head,

"I want to look at you; Use your hand." He muttered in a tone that gave me goosebumps. I nodded back, and placed another kiss on his lips before gripping him in my palm. He felt so warm and inviting, and as I began to impel my hand up and down on him, he let out small moans against my lips. He somehow managed to breathe between kisses and noises and back arches.

I let his tongue explore my mouth as I focused on what I was doing to him. He seemed to be enjoying it, so I didn't suspect I was doing anything wrong. Not once did his eyes leave mine, even when he kissed me. The way he saw right into my soul made me feel more exposed then I already was.

Suddenly, his breath hitched and his hands formed fists around my bed sheets, he arched his back and I felt his cum run over my fingers, as I pumped very last drop from his cock.

"God Moony." He complimented, and I smirked as I sucked on my fingers to clean them. He let out a low growl from in his throat and pulled me down in one last feverish kiss, before we lay down next to each other on my bed, naked, panting, sweating, and exhausted.

"Thank you." I breathed, still allowing him to stare into my eyes.

"You're welcome." He smiled. I snuggled closer to him, putting my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating and it assured me that he was indeed alive, and human, and there. I could feel his blunt nails brushing my scalp as he ran his fingers through my hair. I took in a deep sigh and let it out as I closed my eyes.

"Hey Remus?" he asked, still quiet.

"Hmm?"

"I'm really sorry about everything, honest. I should have just told you. I didn't know how you felt about…well…everything." He sounded awkward, but I smiled.

"It's alright. I probably would have done the same thing. We're both pretty good at hiding things I guess."

"Yeah."

It went quiet for a second, then I remembered how Sirius had gotten here in the first place, "Oh yeah, where did you get that bike?"

He breathed a laugh, "Well, I bought it from a muggle who was selling it for pretty cheap, and you know how I always wanted one. It was kinda a happy accident, because I wasn't planning on buying one or anything. But when I saw it, I remembered that I had money back at home, still in my room, and since I was getting on James' parent's nerves being there all the time, I decided to get a flat and the bike with the money and now me and James live a little outside Manchester. Pretty funny when I went home to get it: Regulus caught me and was making all this noise yelling that my Mom came up and told me to leave. Said I was a traitor to the family and all. But anyways, I've been working on it to get it to fly, and I finally got it and decided to come here and show you. I thought it'd be cooler then apparating."

I smiled again, "Sounds just like you. So you're living with James now?"

"Only until him and Lily find a place I suppose. Then it's just me," He frowned, "unless…you wanna come back with me….or something, maybe?" he stumbled over his words, which was odd for him. He was always so composed and brave with whatever came out of his mouth that he rarely stuttered.

"I'd love too." I gushed, and closed my eyes again. I could feel him beaming above me.

"Go to sleep." He whispered and kissed the top of my head. I listened, and slowly fell asleep.