The Lighthouse Theory
Life had not been kind to Riku the past few years. It was something he had dealt with – that he was still dealing with. Riku used to tell himself that he didn't need kindness, he was stronger than that. A year later, when he first saw Sora sleeping so deeply and moving so little that for a second he wanted to die, because Sora was dead and it was all his fault-
When Riku saw Sora after being apart for so long, he told himself that he wasn't that strong, that he did need kindness, but he was the last person in all of the worlds that deserved it.
When Sora finally woke up and Riku, hidden away in the shadows, saw him for the first time something in him changed. Seeing his best friend smile made Riku's heart lift, and he felt better.
Being better, Riku would later think, was both more than, and all that, he could ask for.
...
"Hey, Riku?"
"Yeah?"
"Let's go to the beach."
"Now? It's already dark out, Sora."
"That's fine, the beach looks nice at night..."
Riku looked at Sora's face, the shorter teen's lips drawn into the pout he had yet to grow out of.
"Alright, let's go to the beach."
…
There were times when, during his travels away from Destiny Islands, Riku had felt lost. No, that wasn't right; he had almost always felt lost. But there were some times when he would stop, and draw a blank. His mind escaped to some far off place, and each way he turned was another direction he couldn't grasp. It reminded him of when his father first taught him how to swim; it felt like drowning.
While these moments happened few and far between, which he was always grateful for, the disorientation they brought was no less devastating. Each one made him feel as if he'd sink down deep and never resurface.
It was during the worst of these attacks that a light would appear, nestled somewhere deep in that dark loss. It was nothing spectacular, always quite dim for the first few seconds after its arrival, but to Riku it meant salvation. It was his way back, his way- not home, but somewhere. Through his haze of disorientation he would reach out and grasp that weak warmth, seconds later resurfacing from whatever pit he had been lost in.
…
"You've been quieter than usual, lately,"
When Sora saw the look Riku shot him he heaved a lungful of air out before digging his toes deeper into the cooling sand.
"I meant around me."
Riku looked away from his friend, before glancing back calculatingly.
"I've been trying to come to terms," Riku offered a minute later, lightly, slowly.
This intrigued the younger man, who craned over to give the taller of the two an inquiring look.
"'Come to terms' with what?" Sora questioned.
This made a small strange smile appear on Riku's face. Sora saw it, but didn't think it was a bad kind of strange, not really.
"I'm not sure yet," Riku offered with a shrug, "but you'll be the first one I tell when I do figure it out, okay?"
Sora gave his friend an odd little look of his own, before nodding and turning back to the darkened ocean water.
…
The light, Riku recalled, reminded him of a lighthouse – the kinds Destiny Islands had plenty of. At first he'd thought that maybe it was Kairi; she was a Princess of Heart, after all, and they were such close friends, so his theory made sense.
He'd realized later, after running into the light once more while in Beast's Castle, that it wasn't the sweet, kind red head who he was sensing. She was always with him in a way, but not like the light. This left the albescent-haired young man at a loss for some time. Then he was fighting Xehanort with Sora and there was no time to think, just fight fight fight.
After the battle, while he and Sora were staring into darkness together on a beach reminiscent of their own, he thought he saw a lighthouse.
…
It was well past midnight when Riku looked back at his friend. The night was warm, the breeze cool, when Riku leaned over and grasped one of Sora's sand-flecked hands.
"I think I've figured it out," he mused when Sora shot him a wide, questioning glance.
"You have?" the brown-haired teen asked.
Riku nodded, "Yeah," before offering nothing more and staring back at the waves.
After a minute, Sora turned his hand over, the one his friend's was resting on, so it was palm up, and laced their fingers together.
"Good," Sora said quietly, blue eyes happy.
Riku continued to stare at the ocean with a soft smile on his face.
He didn't think he was lost anymore.