Losing the voice of reason
A/N: I don't remember the last time I've slept enough... I'm so damn tired all the time so... what do I do? - Write some fanfiction! Yay me. This probably seems a bit messy, I'm gonna blame it on my sleep debts. :d And once again I struggled with the title… Can't really say I'm satisfied with it but oh well.
"Good morning, everyone!"
Ed groaned at Roy's cheerful exclamation. He glanced around to see that everyone else was looking rather shocked, staring at Roy with eyes wide open. Even Hawkeye looked surprised.
Which was only natural because... what were the possibilities of Roy, showing up at work, grinning like an idiot, being all happy and full of energy… on a Monday morning?
He took a cup of coffee and – did the bastard hum to himself? He did. Fuck.
Basically it was obvious that either he was taking some happy pills or…
"Someone has gotten laid," Havoc muttered.
Yes, exactly. Fuery shrugged. "Well… no surprise, when it's the Colonel we're talking about."
"But he does seem very happy, doesn't he," Falman added and the others nodded.
Roy turned around, taking a sip of the coffee, smirking.
"I know what you're muttering about so… yes, I had sex last night."
No one wasn't really surprised to hear that. The thing that interested everyone for sure was the fact that Roy was so overly enthusiastic.
"Details," Havoc asked and glanced at Hawkeye who snorted.
"What? As I man, I want to know!"
Ed was hoping that Hawkeye would take out her gun and put everyone to work… but she didn't. In fact, there was something about her expression… Oh, for Gate's sake! She was interested too! What was so damn fascinating about the bastard's love life?
"Hmm… let's see. Wild, hot, rough… Indeed. You know, being with someone who's young is always quite awesome. They just can't get enough of it."
The guy's grinned, looking a bit dreamy. Havoc also seemed to be quite envious for Roy.
Hawkeye just shook her head, grabbing the news paper.
"Just SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Everyone startled at Ed's sudden outburst, turning to look at him surprised. Ed was glaring at the Colonel, who just smirked, not showing any signs of surprise.
"Come on, Fullmetal. Just because you're not getting any, doesn't mean you have to – "
"Shut up, you bastard! Come with me, NOW!"
Ed dragged the man out of the office, ignoring everyone's staring. He pushed the man into the closest closet, closing the door behind him.
"What the fuck was that?"
Roy smirked. "I don't know what you're talking about. You got all excited again. This is not the most comfortable place but… if you want to do it here, then I'm alright with it."
"Shut up! Why the fuck did you have to go and brag about it?"
Roy's smirk seemed to widen, managing to annoy Ed even more.
"Why not? I am a man after all. Besides, I have a reputation to maintain. And I didn't mention your name, did I? Or perhaps you want me to do that… Perhaps you want them to know it was you who was moaning and begging and pleading under me last night…"
Ed felt the blush creeping in his cheeks.
"Shut up, you fucking bastard!"
"That was probably the fourth time you've told me to shut up today. Any chance you'll actually do something about it?"
Ed groaned. "How about I kick your lame ass with this," he said, pointing his automail leg.
"Hmh… How about something else…?"
Ed glanced at Roy, suspicious, backing up as Roy stepped closer to him.
As Roy grabbed his chin and leaned in, Ed turned his head.
"Last night was just… it wasn't supposed to happen, I hate you for fuck's sake! So… it's not going to happen again."
Roy laughed a bit. "When two people are having sex, there doesn't necessarily have to be any feelings. Though hate is a feeling. And I think it makes the sex even hotter."
Holy shit. How could the bastard say something like that with a straight face?
Sure, last night had been… awesome. Even though it wasn't meant to happen. It just had. It was some sort of chain of inevitable events…
And Ed hadn't regretted it. Not until the bastard had started to fucking brag about it… As if Ed was just one of the millions Roy had fucked. Ed didn't want something like that.
He didn't want to be one of a million. He wanted to be the only one. He wasn't the kind of person who would take just pieces, he wanted everything.
And he had no idea what the hell he had been thinking when just last night he was sure that he would get it all from Roy. Perhaps he had bumped his head and gotten a passing brain damage for thinking that?
"Whatever, Mustang… I'm not interested."
Ed tried to push the man away but he locked Ed so that he was in between the wall and Roy.
"You were. And are, don't try to bullshit me."
Ed didn't understand why he just didn't kick the bastard's crotch as he leaned in to kiss Ed.
Why didn't Ed just give him a nice punch with his automail arm?
Why didn't he push him away?
He could've done it anytime. But somehow it seemed to be impossible to do that. His brain was screaming him to stop but his body… was betraying him. His lips which started moving against Roy's own, his hands which tangled up in Roy's neck, his hips which pushed against Roy's hips… His voice moaning into the kiss… they all betrayed him.
Why did he need it so much? He hated that bastard… He did. Roy was a total douche bag, he was arrogant, smug and… just damn annoying! So why was it that he had made Ed feel so good last night… and right now?
"Oy…? Did you two finally kill each other?"
The door was opened and Ed pulled quickly away from the kiss, to see Falman, Fuery, Havoc and Hawkeye staring at them.
"You and… chief…?"
Roy shrugged. "Yeah. And now that you know, you could go ahead and give us some privacy."
Ed finally pushed him away. "Fuck no! That didn't mean anything! Last night didn't mean anything!"
"It did to me," Roy said rather quietly. Ed glanced at him, seeing him staring at Ed, with a serious look on his face. What the hell…? Why was he so serious suddenly?
"Yeah right… It's not like I give a damn anyways!"
Ed got out and once again tried to ignore everyone's staring. "You keep telling yourself that, Fullmetal!"
Ed waved his middle finger. He didn't give a damn! He really didn't.
"I'll pick you up at eight!"
Huh? For what? Why?
"Don't bother," Ed yelled, without turning around and ran away like a total chicken. Though he couldface everyone, especially that bastard! But he just… just… didn't want to.
8pm, the Military Dorms
Three knocks at the door. Ed grimaced. Fuck. He had already thought that Roy wouldn't come. But he had. Who else could be on the door? "I'll go see who it is," Al said but Ed got up.
"I'll do that!" He knew already. But he wouldn't tell that to Al. It was bad enough that he had to lie about last night. He had said that he had fallen asleep in the library when in reality he had been in Roy's house, in his bed…
What the hell was he thinking? Obviously nothing at all. It wasn't like him… thus he didn't know what to do. What was going on? He was suddenly doing all those weird things he didn't even want to do. And all of them included Roy somehow…
Ed opened the door, facing Roy who was wearing a black tuxedo. Ed couldn't help but stare.
"Like what you see?"
Ed wanted to punch that damn smirk out of his face. Ed wanted to pull his tie, pull him in a kiss… What the hell…?
"Considering you're looking like a total bastard, as always… no, I don't."
"You just keep telling yourself that…"
"Colonel Mustang?"
Ed blinked his eyes. He had totally forgotten about Al. How could he just simply forget about Al?
"Yes, Alphonse, it's me. If you don't mind, I'll take Ed out to dine with me."
Oh great, wasn't that just the most perfect day… "Oh… you two? Together?"
"That's correct. After last night we get along rather… well."
"Last night? What happened last night?"
"Nothing worth mentioning! And we don't get along!"
Ed pushed the man out of the dorm and closed the door, turning to glare at the man.
"Why don't you just fuck off and let me be?"
"Sorry about that. Come to the dinner with me and I'll make it up to you… later in my house."
Roy smirked. He really was smug, arrogant and a bastard. Of course Ed had to say no. Maybe a little punch would be a good add too. There was no way he would go. First off, he still hated the man. Second… he wasn't supposed to waste his time. He was supposed to find a way to bring Al's body back… That was his first priority. He couldn't be fooling around, having sex with a man he hated while Al couldn't even sleep or eat…
There were dozens of reasons why he shouldn't go. His mind was telling him not to, knowing it was the worst idea, even worse than yesterday when he had shrugged as Roy had asked him to join him, as Ed had followed him to his house, as he hadn't rejected him, as he had returned Roy's kisses…
He would be a total idiot for doing it again. So why the hell did he open the door and went in, grabbing his jacket. What was he doing?
"So… you're going?"
"Guess so…"
Ed couldn't look at Al's direction. He should stay with his brother! Ed glanced at Roy who was grinning, looking like an arrogant, smug bastard who knew he was going to get laid later that night.
Ed couldn't believe himself.
"Have fun. Really, brother, you deserve it…I'll be fine here. Don't worry, relax for a change."
Ed sighed. Of course Al would be there. Where else?
Even though Al seemed to be completely fine with Ed leaving, he couldn't help but feeling unbelievably guilty as he closed the door and followed Roy out of the dorm.
But he stopped feeling guilty soon enough, focusing on the bastard who was walking in front of him.
Ed still had no idea what was going on. Somehow the voice of reason faded away, leaving only the same hunger and need and burning from last night. Even though Ed tried his best to fight it, he couldn't help it. It made no sense but he needed it even though he didn't want it… He didn't want Roy. He couldn't want him.
Maybe it didn't have to mean anything. Maybe it didn't mean anything at all. It didn't. Last night or the fact that Ed shivered slightly as Roy opened the door of the restaurant, touching Ed's back a bit as he stepped in.
While sitting opposite Roy on a table, looking at the candle lights dancing on his face, Ed realized that his brain damage seemed to be permanent.
No, no way… That would be the last time. It really would. Ed could be able to say no! He could've done it long time ago… He could do it.
Somehow, that tiny little voice which sure wasn't the voice of reason, whispered that he couldn't.