So here's a songfic based on "According To You" by Orianthi. It's a current favorite of mine and I couldn't help but come up with a little story to go with it…it isn't quite as good as I had hoped, but I guess it'll have to do. Reviews would be very encouraging!
Disclaimer: I don't own the song or characters.
According to you
I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right
The cool air in the restaurant made Caitlyn shiver, but she was sure to keep the smile plastered on her face. Nate was conversing with the other people at the table, but she sat in silence pretending to listen. In reality, she was wringing her napkin in her hands beneath the table, out of sight.
He shot her one of those looks she knew all too well by now. Piping up, Caitlyn put her two cents into the conversation at hand, being careful to not sound as dreadfully bored as she was. Nate's steely eyes were on her afterwards as the other carried on in the conversation, but Caitlyn felt small under his intense scrutiny. Had she messed up again?
According to you
I'm difficult
Hard to please
Forever changing my mind
Her brown eyes took in the perfection that lay before her. The small table for two with the pure white table clothe draped over it, with the small vase with a single red rose was placed between two tall, red candles. Caitlyn listened to his words as she stepped forward tentatively and brushed her fingertips over the satin table cloth on the balcony. A warm breeze drifted by and she took a deep breath.
Nate had gone to too much trouble. She should be excited that he had gone through so much for her-thankful he cared enough, but Caitlyn only felt sad that he thought things had to be so fancy to please her.
"Isn't this a little extreme, Nate?" she whispered, turning slowly to face him and knowing instantly by his expression that her choice of words hadn't been wise. The frown graced his lips a moment before his eyebrows dipped into a scowl.
"I thought you said we weren't spending enough time with 'just us'?" Nate snapped, "This is what you wanted, isn't it?"
"I only meant time together, not necessarily a fancy dinner-not that it isn't beautiful-but I just want time with you-"
"Caitlyn, you just have to make things difficult, don't you?" Nate rolled his eyes, turning and sighing heavily, "I'd be able to please you better if you'd quit changing your mind all the time!"
I'm a mess in a dress
Can't show up on time
Even if it would save my life
According to you
The loud music and cameras flashing were already on Caitlyn's nerves and she'd only just pulled up to the entrance in a limo. It was really a shame Nate had to be so early or else they could battle the paparazzi together. She hated having her picture taken, but it was even worse alone.
Somehow she managed to make her way into the building with her entire self intact. At times, the press irritated her greatly-what with their nosy questions and pushy interviews. It was much more peaceful inside the crowded, fancy room she was wandering around in.
"There you are." Nate's fingers gripped her hand tightly and she bit her lip at this tone as he pulled her aside for as much privacy as could be gotten in such a mass of celebrities, "What took you so long? You were late again."
"I'm sorry." Caitlyn bit back a haughty retort and tried to keep her anger with him at bay, "My dress zipper got stuck and you wouldn't believe how long it took to get it to finally work. It's kind of funny how I got it to finally work again, it-"
"What a mess you are in a dress." Nate muttered and Caitlyn felt a pang at his words that apparently weren't meant for her to hear. He spoke up only a split second later, "You couldn't show up on time to save your life." Nate's impatient sigh came and he swept her off to regroup with his brothers and other band mates.
According to you
His words were branded at the forefront of Caitlyn's mind for the rest of the night, causing her to be considerably quiet. Nate had ruined her mood and any small bit of excitement she might have had for the party that night. What happened to being encouraging?
But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
Caitlyn slipped her fingers from being laced with Nate's, a little disappointed that he didn't even seem to notice her absence. The people in the room were oblivious to her threading her way through them, feeling almost deaf to the upbeat music. She felt like a scene from a sad romance music video.
Pushing the double doors open, she slipped past them and let them close with a soft click and took a deep breath of the fresh air around her. It seemed much cooler outside even though it was early summer and the empty balcony seemed all the more welcoming after the packed room she had left.
"I thought I'd find you out here." the voice broke her peaceful silence a few minutes later, causing Caitlyn to jump and spin to face the intruder, her dress swirling at her knee.
"Shane, you scared me." She laughed, absentmindedly pushing a stray strand of hair from her face, tucking it safely behind her ear. Shane cast her a bright, amused smile but she realized before he could speak, "Oh, no, my hairs falling down. I must look awful. Darn it, I knew that clip couldn't hold my stupid, thick hair."
Almost frantically, Caitlyn's hand flew up to try to fix her hair but she let out a frustrated sigh when she felt how badly it was messed up. Warm hands stilled hers and she snapped her eyes upward, heart pounding at how close Shane's warm, brown eyes were.
"It's okay, Cait," he looked amused as he spoke softly before reaching up and pulling the clip from her hair. Caitlyn's lips parted but she didn't know what to say at the feeling of her soft curls falling to frame her face and rest on her shoulders, "You're beautiful without all this dressy stuff. You look incredible even with your hair down, so no worries."
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
"Hm…practicing what to say to Mitchie next time you see her?" Caitlyn joked, mostly to ease her own discomfort and stop the somersault her stomach was doing. She smirked at the surprised look on his face, but stopped abruptly.
"Funny, Gellar, very funny." Shane chuckled, "But it's not Mitchie I had in mind." His words made her heart fall slightly at the partial confirmation of him "practicing" on her. She tried to push it aside.
"Oh?" she raised an eyebrow, curious as to whom Shane was seriously thinking about-assuming he wasn't just kidding.
"Yeah, I was thinking of someone a bit more….irresistible." he winked and Caitlyn wasn't sure why she blushed, but shrugged.
"Too bad this mystery girl isn't here." she commented simply.
Everything his opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I've got to lose
It was Nate that broke their comfortable moment on the balcony and the disappointment she felt surprised Caitlyn. He didn't look very happy to find she had wandered off, and the irritated glances Shane was receiving seemed to show he wasn't the happiest with his brother entertaining his girlfriend.
They swayed easily to the music, it was habit to dance well with Nate now. He'd spent so much time teaching her to dance well, but even her practically perfect dancing didn't seem to calm his mood and Caitlyn felt how stiff he felt.
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you
It was Shane that offered his assistance as Caitlyn slipped into her limo after giving Nate a quick peck on the cheek as goodbye. She wasn't sure how he managed to make it to her side before Nate, but she gave him a shy smile and accepted his hand.
"Hope you had a good time." Shane murmured, squeezing her small hand in his hot one. The next moment, the limo door was shut and Caitlyn leaned back in her seat and sighed in relief that the night was over.
According to you
I'm boring
I'm moody
And you can't take me any place
The house was perfectly clean and Caitlyn flopped onto the couch, turning the tv on and relaxing for the first time that day. It was nice to finally have a moment to herself to do nothing in particular. As fate would have it, there was a knock on the door at just that moment and she groaned inwardly. Refusing to budge, Caitlyn called for her guest to come on in.
The sound of the door opening and closing and a few footsteps later, Nate was standing in the living room doorway. She glanced up and caught his blank look before giving him a tentative smile.
"Hey, you want to go do something?" Nate suggested, jingling his keys slightly in his right hand, "I've finally got a free evening."
"Sure," Caitlyn smiled slightly, "I was just about to put in a movie-You can join me." Her tone was cheerful as she imagined an evening of relaxing with Nate. Maybe they could finally be like they used to be together. Maybe an evening cuddling on the couch was just the remedy their shaky relationship needed.
"Well…" his eyes drifted around the room before landing on her face again, "I don't really feel like watching a movie…Want to go see one in theaters?"
"Sure." Caitlyn's shoulders fell as she stood and slipped on some shoes.
"We don't have to." His snappy response came a moment later, "If you're just going to be in a bad mood, why bother?"
"I'm just tired, Nate," Caitlyn looked at him apologetically. She didn't want to fight again.
"Moody." He mumbled, opening the front door, "Can't take you anywhere without you getting upset about something."
Caitlyn grit her teeth in annoyance and hurt at his stinging words. The ride was silent as she stared out the window, refusing to let the mixed emotion tears fall.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes
Because I always give it away
The silence was eating at Caitlyn as they sat in the Gray house watching some ridiculously old and stupid movie on tv. It was one of those hot summer days when no one felt like doing anything, but was unbearably bored, too.
"You don't look to be in a good mood." She sighed, reaching up to tap his shoulder with emphasis, "Something wrong?"
"Nope." Nate's simple reply came, and Caitlyn took it as the truth.
"I'm bored. You bored?" she spoke again, "This is a really stupid movie. Even the jokes are lame."
"Mhm…" he agreed halfheartedly.
"I bet I can tell better jokes." Caitlyn suggested playfully, "Let's see, let me think of-"
"You suck at telling jokes." Nate's words cut her off and she looked at him uncertainly. His tone had been quite flat and unreadable.
"I do not." Caitlyn rolled her eyes with a smile, taking his statement as a joke.
"I'm serious. You always give it away." He shrugged nonchalantly.
"Nu-uh."
"Seriously, Cait, don't even try. It's not funny." Nate's words silenced her.
I'm a girl with the worst intentions, bad
You're the boy who puts up with that
According to you
"The waiter is totally flirting with you." Nate stated flatly, not sounding as bothered as Caitlyn would have expected at such a statement.
"Yeah, well, he's a jerk." Caitlyn chuckled, "You can tell by the way he acts to cocky an arrogant."
"Stop encouraging him then." He stated coolly, and when she glanced up from her menu she caught his steely eyes bearing down harshly on her.
"I'm not!" her jaw dropped at such a suggestion and her face burned from sudden anger at Nate for thinking that of her, "How can you say that? That's horrible, Nate."
"Well, if it's true…" he shrugged, eyes falling down to his menu once again, leaving Caitlyn staring at him, steaming at his words.
"You wouldn't be dating me if you really thought I was like that." Caitlyn stated, not wanting to believe his implication was serious. It hurt her beyond words to think he meant that.
"I put up with it." Nate shrugged.
According to you
The door shut with a click and Caitlyn leaned against it, listening to Nate drive off before heaving a deep sigh and sliding to sit on the ground. The night had been a dinner of revelations. If Nate really thought that of her, he didn't know her half as well as he thought he did. How could he suggest something like that when they were dating?
But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
The firm knock on the door startled Caitlyn and she jumped, lifting her head from her arm where she rested her head to finally let a few tears escape. Wiping her face briskly, she stood and opened the door a crack to see who it was-it couldn't be Nate, she had distinctly heard him drive off.
"Shane?" she gasped, swallowing slowly at the unnerving thought that he was seeing her in possibly her weakest moment ever, "What're you doing here?" Caitlyn hadn't meant for it to sound so rude, but he had surprised her more than a little.
"I came to return the movie me and Jason borrowed…" he trailed off, not saying anything more as he pushed the front door open a considerable ways to get a better view of her when he realized something was wrong, "Cait, are you okay?"
She opened her mouth to assure him everything was completely fine, but Caitlyn realized what a large lie that would be and her inability to speak so only snapped her mouth shut and shook her head slightly.
Next moment, Caitlyn was aware of her fast flowing, hot tears that were being quickly caught by Shane's thin t-shirt that her face was buried in. His strong arms were holding her tightly and she heard the front door being kicked shut as one of Shane's warm hands stroked her back tenderly.
"It's alright, Cait," he murmured into her hair, "It's going to be okay. Sshh..."
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
"What happened?" Shane asked softly and Caitlyn bit her lip, keeping her eyes squeezed shut. She didn't want to explain it or admit what Nate seemed to think of her. It was too horrible for even her to know.
"Did he hurt you?" he tried again, stroking her hair and lifting her chin so she was forced to meet his eyes. The tears glistened on her face even in the unlit house and Caitlyn knew she must look awful.
"I'm sorry." She muttered, swiping at her cheeks, "I'm over reacting-I must look so horrible."
"No, you're fine." Shane half smiled at her simple worry, not even thinking as he stroked her cheeks softly.
"Um, could I just say I had a bad day and we let it go?" Caitlyn asked, scrunching up her nose at the suggestions, smiling when Shane laughed at her suggestion.
"Funny…but no." he smiled before letting out a sigh, "But we'll forget about it for right now, okay?"
Everything his opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I've got to lose
Caitlyn licked her cone before the chocolate ice cream could dribble down and get on her fingers. She hated getting her hands sticky so always tried to be as neat and quick as possible. There was a comfortable silence between them and she smiled slightly to herself.
"Where's Nate today?" she asked carefully, not meeting Shane's eyes even when she felt him watching her carefully. He licked his own ice cream again before replying thoughtfully.
"I think he's working on a new song." His reply came and Caitlyn nodded, wondering why she didn't even care that it was Shane she was spending the Saturday afternoon with and not her actual boyfriend.
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you
"Can I tell you something?" Shane asked softly and Caitlyn turned to face him, enjoying the feeling of the warm, summer breeze brushing against her face as they leaned on the railing facing the beach.
"Sure." She shrugged, the sound of the crashing waves calming her as the sun sank beneath the horizon, blanketing the world in darkness that Caitlyn loved so much. Night seemed much more magical to her than day.
"Nate's lucky to have a girl like you." He stated flat out, making her furrow her eyebrows and look up at him curiously.
"Huh?"
"I think you're great, Caitlyn-you're fun, smart, and pretty. I hope Nate never takes you for granted. You're pretty special." He stated honestly.
Caitlyn turned her eyes back to the ocean, attempting to swallow the rock that was suddenly in her throat. Nate didn't think such nice things about her as Shane did. According to Nate she wasn't anything special, but according to Shane…he made her feel pretty special.
Need to feel appreciated
Like I'm not hated
Oh, no
"Thanks for hanging with me today, Caitlyn, it would have been a pretty boring Saturday without your company." Shane smiled as they reached her doorstep, "It's hard to find someone who has a good sense of humor like I do."
Caitlyn laughed, enjoying the feeling of being so carefree . Why could it be this easy to be with Nate? Shane seemed to genuinely appreciate her company but Nate sometimes acted as though he hated it.
Why can't you see me threw his eyes
It's too bad you're making me decide
Quickly, Caitlyn averted her eyes. Shane was standing across the roomful of people and it seemed nearly impossible to keep from watching him. In her mind, she kept comparing him to Nate. It may be wrong, but Caitlyn just wished her own boyfriend could see her through his older brother's eyes.
Nate had caught her looking at Shane for the second time that evening, "Stop staring at my brother, Cait."
"I'm not staring." She spoke defensively, unable to meet Nate's eyes as she said this, though.
"I see how well you two get along. It's him or me- you can't be with us both." He informed her curtly.
"We're just friends!" Caitlyn snapped, quickly meeting Nate's irritated eyes.
But according to me
You're stupid
You're useless
You can't do anything right
Later that evening, Nate took her hand in his, not once stopping his conversation with a friend to give her a glance or a thought. Caitlyn wondered if it was automatic to hold her hand when she came over to him-did he even enjoy the contact anymore?
But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
With a sudden flare of confidence, Caitlyn yanked her hand from Nate's catching his confused look at the sudden movement just before she sauntered over to where Shane was standing, watching groups of people casually.
It may have been a risk, but it was one well worth taking. After all, Shane couldn't have thought so highly of her and not felt a least a little something, right? She slid her hand into his, feeling Nate's eyes on her as she did so.
"Cait, what-" Shane didn't get anymore words out as she laced her fingers with his, turning to send Nate a look. She tried to keep the anger from her expression, and she wasn't sure exactly what Nate saw in her face, but he got the message. That much was evident by the way he walked off in a huff.
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
"That was kind of a cruel thing to do…" Shane murmured, attempting to slip his fingers from between hers, but Caitlyn caught his slight blush and held on.
"I was just being honest." She whispered, biting her lip in nervousness a moment before glancing around the room. Soon enough, Caitlyn met his eyes again, finding him watching her in confusion and curiosity.
Everything his opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
Baby tell me what I've got to lose
"Do you mean…?" his breathless question never finished and Caitlyn nodded shyly, trying to appear calm and collected as her insides went crazy.
"I could never be good enough according to Nate…You see so much more in me than he does. You like me for everything Nate claims I'm not and never could be…" she shook her head after a moment, "Am I making any sense?"
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you
"As much sense as you ever make." Shane smiled wryly, chuckled when she shoved him playfully in the shoulder before looking around.
"Tell me honestly-did you understand anything of what I just said?" she asked, wondering how she would word things if he admitted her words made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
You, you
According to you
You, you
"I can't get you out of my head," Shane surprised her by speaking softly, "You're everything I ever wanted…but you were Nate's. I tried not to be jealous, but it was hard. Seeing what he was putting you through was even harder. You're just so amazing…"
"According to you."
According to you
I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right
Nothing could feel more perfect than the moment when Caitlyn allowed Shane to lead her from the room and out of the Gray household. The entire time she could feel Nate's eyes on her and wondered if he regretted losing her. She definitely didn't regret her choice.
I had originally planned on writing Shane and Nate's rolls reversed since I write Shane with Caitlyn so often…but then I realized that most other authors would have written it that way…so I decided to write it as a Shaitlyn, anyways. :D
Review, please!